She said "I love you"

wonderer

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Just wanted to share an incredible moment that happened this weekend,

My GF of 2 months told me she loved me this weekend. We were out listening to a DJ set when she said the DJ was fit and she loved him, I joked around saying "you love him do you? you should go with him haha". She said "no because I love you". I paused for a bit, then I said "did you just say you loved me?" she replied "I cant tell you that yet" so I said "then I cant tell you I love you back" she then replied "**** it im just gunna tell you..." after a long pause and looking intently in my eyes she says "I f*cking love you" we then kissed and after I replied "I love you too" we left without bothering to watch the DJ set we had come for.

At the age of 25 its the first time anyone's said it to me, just wanted to share them moment with you, I think it was good because I didn't say it first, she said she was in love with me for awhile and didn't know if I felt the same.
 

bcolon

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mikey2012 said:
If you reciprocate the she will drop you faster than case of crabs
wonderer said:
Just wanted to share an incredible moment that happened this weekend,

My GF of 2 months told me she loved me this weekend. We were out listening to a DJ set when she said the DJ was fit and she loved him, I joked around saying "you love him do you? you should go with him haha". She said "no because I love you". I paused for a bit, then I said "did you just say you loved me?" she replied "I cant tell you that yet" so I said "then I cant tell you I love you back" she then replied "**** it im just gunna tell you..." after a long pause and looking intently in my eyes she says "I f*cking love you" we then kissed and after I replied "I love you too" we left without bothering to watch the DJ set we had come for.

At the age of 25 its the first time anyone's said it to me, just wanted to share them moment with you, I think it was good because I didn't say it first, she said she was in love with me for awhile and didn't know if I felt the same.
To late. He did already, sadly.
 

mikey2012

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GettinMyMindRight said:
Funny enough, I think I lost a girl because I didn't reciprocate her feelings.

She brought up the "what if I fall madly in love with you?" after 2 weeks - and I changed the subject.

I fought the urge to go Beta, and I guess she felt I wasn't interested anymore.
you dodged a bullet..anyone who says I love you after 2 weeks is whack BPD....

Remember dudes...DONT SAY I LOVE YOU...just show it ...Once you say it..she will know you are whipped....
 

wonderer

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mikey2012 said:
When he comes back in a few months after being dumped he will get no sympathy
I shouldn't have said it back?
 

mikey2012

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wonderer said:
I shouldn't have said it back?
DONT SAY IT!! SHOW HER HOW MUCH YOU DO..BUT NEVER SAY IT. ITS A SHIIITE TEST. SHE NOW KNOWS SHE OWNS YOU.
 

adam225

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From now on you need to put yourself in a position where she is doing most of the work. This is your only way out. Don't become her *****. If you do she will happily fvck someone else behind your back (or leave you and do it).
 

wonderer

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adam225 said:
From now on you need to put yourself in a position where she is doing most of the work. This is your only way out. Don't become her *****. If you do she will happily fvck someone else behind your back (or leave you and do it).
She plans all the dates, I plan none. She always texts firsts, not me. She cooks me food, I dont. She travels further to see me. She said she could be with me 'for the long run'.

I'm not a b*tch and not a nice guy. Does this answer your comment?
 

mikey2012

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wonderer said:
She plans all the dates, I plan none. She always texts firsts, not me. She cooks me food, I dont. She travels further to see me. She said she could be with me 'for the long run'.

I'm not a b*tch and not a nice guy. Does this answer your comment?
Nothing wrong with being a nice guy but maintain your frame. She may do all the shiite for you but sooner the tide will change if you don't maintain your frame. Chicks will always try to change you..convert you from alpha to beta..if you let them (sometimes you dont even know it) you will be dropped faster than a case of genital herpes..

Thing is with women..no matter how close or long you been with them NEVER let down your guard..
 

mikey2012

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Espi said:
In my opinion, Good! You lost the girl. That's where I would invite you to consider that you're embracing the DJ/Alpha mindset.

A high-value man risks losing the girl. He is willing to walk away. He has boundaries and principles and won't allow himself to be controlled.

With EVERY highly attractive woman I've encountered, there has been some point in which I had to SHOW her that I'm willing to risk losing her. They are master shiat-testers, and you gotta be willing to flunk their tests with passing colors. (Yes I wrote "flunk.")

“To get a woman, you have to be willing to risk losing her.”
¯Mystery, as quoted in Strauss' book The Game
+1 rep. This is gold. You may think you are in control but they will shiite test you even if you get married.. All women will test you at one point to see if you will walk. If you fail...you will be dumped.


You must show them you are willing to walk.....I made this mistake with someone I was close to and I got dumped.

If you lose your power by being afraid of losing her you will be toast.

To answer your question below... (i reached my post limit). You dont have to say ****e....just look at her and kiss her then fuk her brains out..
 

wonderer

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So what should I have done when she said I love you? And what should I do when he says it from now on - don't say it back?
 

cfdagola

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wonderer said:
She plans all the dates, I plan none. She always texts firsts, not me. She cooks me food, I dont. She travels further to see me. She said she could be with me 'for the long run'.

I'm not a b*tch and not a nice guy. Does this answer your comment?
ugh she plans all the dates AND made you say i love you? AND its only been 60 days?

you'll be back here soon enough for other reasons. I know i'm not one to talk with my ranting i've been doing over the past few days.

but this is not a good thing
 

El Payaso

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Good for you! You've passed a landmark. This is merely the beginning. The next few weeks or months are VERY important.

In my opinion, I would have held out on saying it a little longer even though she said it first. I would have just grabbed her and kissed her. Even if she pushed for me to say it back, I would just smile and kiss her.

It's not bad that you said it though. Just be VERY CAREFUL from now on. Don't get sucked in and lose your head.

Don't be afraid to show her that you love her but don't become too available or needy either. Still maintain your frame.

Don't be afraid to tell her off and withdraw your attention if she gets out of line. Vice versa, if she does something good for you, commend her and show your appreciation. Like a child, it will teach her to behave well around you.

Be a sexual being with her. Don't act like a eunuch.

Don't bend over for her or try to be accommodating if it makes you uncomfortable.

Always remember that she is coming along for the ride in YOUR life not the other way around.
 

mangotot

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Tell her you love her but make sure she says it more then you.
 

hudpes

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Do you really lose alpha if she, in all seriousness, in a heat of the moment, after something romantic you did, or maybe after sex, says she loves you and you say it back? It is probably very awkward for her if you leave her hanging there FB message confirmation style: Seen 2:33am. You can't seriously propose that every "I love you" is a sh!t test.

But a good way out I can think of is smile, look in her eyes and kiss her. I can imagine Sean Connery's James Bond doing that.. :D
 

guru1000

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Remember, she does not love YOU. She loves the feelings you produce in her at that moment. She loves the way that you make her feel at that moment. Once those "incredible feelies" dissipate, so does the love.
 

TheCWord

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I didn't anticipate this would be the case given the thread title and the OP, but this is turning into a hall of fame thread. Lots of great advice and insight here. In particular, Payaso, Espi and that link Tictsc shared.

For what it's worth, I would be willing to respond with an I love you of my own occasionally. Not the first time, though. I would've done that James Bond kiss and let her hamster spin for a bit. If she said it again a few days later or whatever, maybe I'd say it back depending on the context. If it was during sex, no, I'd just ream her harder at that moment. If it was sitting by the dock or something then, yeah, I'd say it back. I want her hamster to spin, but not so fast that it spins itself off the wheel.

After that, I would continue letting her say it first and not reciprocate every single time.
 

Huffman

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wonderer said:
So what should I have done when she said I love you? And what should I do when he says it from now on - don't say it back?
Man, don't get yourself worked up too much. There are many ways of handling this stuff. Keep in mind, as long as YOU are wearing the pants in the relationship, all is good.

So you were really sweet to her for a bit. So what? You can still go Hot&Cold. Two steps forward, one step backward. You don't have to be hard and cold 24/7.

Personally I've never said I love you before (sad? lol), but what the hell. Just don't change your behaviour now, that you're "officially in love" (danger)! This is not a status! This is not pre-marriage! You're still playing the game, you're not always available and you don't accept disrespect.
 
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