She said "I love you"

[Huffman]

Anyway, you have to take advice on this board with a grain of salt. There is alot of truth behind "never say I love you", but I think that's just too extreme.

Even when I was comfortably spinning 2 girls as friends with benefits, some of the posters here would shame me for appearing "needy and insecure". What the hell. I can see where everyone is coming from, but don't get hung up on details.

 

[marmel75]

Nothing wrong with being a nice guy but maintain your frame. She may do all the shiite for you but sooner the tide will change if you don't maintain your frame. Chicks will always try to change you..convert you from alpha to beta..if you let them (sometimes you dont even know it) you will be dropped faster than a case of genital herpes..

Thing is with women..no matter how close or long you been with them NEVER let down your guard..

At some point if you plan on being with a woman long term/married you will need to modulate the alphaness. Alpha is good for getting women but not necessarily keeping women long term.

Numerous studies show that men who are married and have children have lower testosterone levels then before they were married which shows that nature intends for more beta behaviors to manifest themselves over the long term so the male becomes a better husband/father, which is not an alpha trait. For example, in the animal kingdom, a male lion would kill its own cubs to force the female lion back into heat so they could mate with them again which they know won't happen while they are nursing/raising the cubs. That's alpha behavior---not exactly what you want while trying to raise a family.

 

[jimmy18]

If she backed up her words ("I love you") with actions (swallowing your load regularly) that would mean a whole lot more.

 

[hudpes]

Spot on, Espi. I'm a big proponent of show rather than tell. Yet I thought the reply to her I love you should be nothing but the same... So I see there are better options .

 

[wonderer]

Do you really lose alpha if she, in all seriousness, in a heat of the moment, after something romantic you did, or maybe after sex, says she loves you and you say it back? It is probably very awkward for her if you leave her hanging there FB message confirmation style: Seen 2:33am. You can't seriously propose that every "I love you" is a sh!t test.

But a good way out I can think of is smile, look in her eyes and kiss her. I can imagine Sean Connery's James Bond doing that..

Thats a good way in person but how about over text? So She should say it more than me too?

 

[Rainman4707]

Funny enough, I think I lost a girl because I didn't reciprocate her feelings.

She brought up the "what if I fall madly in love with you?" after 2 weeks - and I changed the subject.

I fought the urge to go Beta, and I guess she felt I wasn't interested anymore.

...I don't think her interest level would drop due to this interction

 

[movistar]

She is probably into you right now, I don't think it's a huge manipulative play on her part. I wouldn't be the one saying I love you all the time, let her bring that up. Women that hit you like a bomb with the "I love you" tend to reel you in and then look for you to be all in. Then the **** starts. But se probably really believes she is in love.