She just told me: I just feel weird lately

[Learning Curve]

This happened today.

Funny how women change on an instance.

My current relationship is going for around 1 year now.

Recently, she has been acting weird, distant all the stuff that indicate a woman's interest to be dropping.

And, of course today I got the: "I just feel weird lately, it's not your fault it's my fault, I think I'm depressed"

What a bunch of BS.

Guys who have experience know what this means.

Nothing has changed in my approach, solid routine, purpose, and going out.

Lately though, sex has been reduced also, and she insists that "she would never change me for anyone else in her life"

Yet, she is depressed and she told me today the above message.

Course of Action:

1. If this continues, I will distance my self to the point of pulling-back so hard that she will either change course of behaviour or i will move to plan b
2. B: Since we are living together, if this continues even after the pulling-back i will have to make a decision to a- end it or to b- discuss it one last time and start to make plans to leave my place.

This has been going for some time-now it's not now.

I have tried to discuss what's going on, without getting a solid answer. We all know what this means.

Time will tell.

Any thoughts are appreciated.

 

[Macadellic]

OP,
It’s not your fault she feels weird and it’s only a matter of time before she gaslights and blames it on you.

She is not your problem to fix and she is draining you with her depression. A woman is to compliment your life not complicate it.

 

[Learning Curve]

OP,
It’s not your fault she feels weird and it’s only a matter of time before she gaslights and blames it on you.

She is not your problem to fix and she is draining you with her depression. A woman is to compliment your life not complicate it.

Totally Agree, on this mate.

Time will tell.

 

[Gamisch]

Not a great sign obviously.

The problem as useal is that you can't just get up and leave( I assume). Unfortunately this is something that is simply going ro happen, like a woman will get ber period. It's unavoidable in 99,9% of cases.

What can you do?
- Remain extremely calm.
- plan a exit strategy IN SILENCE.
- see if you can stay somewhere else
- try to be extremely seductive?insteadof anxious). See if you can surprise her and take her out / spoil her. Do so because you can tell she's having a difficult time. Be human..meanwhile you mainly do this to buy time so you can prepare your exit strategy in silence.
- be human..
-DO NOT talk about it yet.

Finally; as harsh as it sounds; get ready for the worst. Once a negative seed is planted, obviously a "negative tree" might grow out of it. Most experienced dudes can tell you it ALWAYS stares like this and it hardly ever gets better.

 

[p_1337]

How did you end living together when only dating for roughly a year?
I dread this same scenario will play out with my current main. We've been together for ~2 years and she wants to live together come 2025.

 

[Glassguy]

OP- is your gf on medication for depression? And how long has this "depression" existed with her?

 

[Learning Curve]

OP- is your gf on medication for depression? And how long has this "depression" existed with her?

No she is not.

No past either.

This has happened since we moved together.

She finds her daily routine boring as she told me and because she moved from another city for me, she miss her family and friends.

As she told me “i spend only time with you and i want to see also my friends and family”

i told her to go multiple times.

She will go for a week now to her city. She told me to come.

We will see how it rolls.

 

[Glassguy]

No she is not.

No past either.

This has happened since we moved together.

She finds her daily routine boring as she told me and because she moved from another city for me, she miss her family and friends.

As she told me “i spend only time with you and i want to see also my friends and family”

i told her to go multiple times.

She will go for a week now to her city. She told me to come.

We will see how it rolls.

And how far is it to where you live compared to where she is from?

 

[Scaramouche]

No she is not.

No past either.

This has happened since we moved together.

She finds her daily routine boring as she told me and because she moved from another city for me, she miss her family and friends.

As she told me “i spend only time with you and i want to see also my friends and family”

i told her to go multiple times.

She will go for a week now to her city. She told me to come.

We will see how it rolls.

Hi Learning Curve,
You should read Gamischs post very carefully having been there myself I just wish I had been given a Road Map like that,but I would caution you that it is very easy by your own actions to actually encourage the creation of your worst fears...Look on the bright side five years down the track with Kids and a mortgage it's much worse...You have a brilliant Coach System between your major Cities soo cheap and fast that regular commutes are very easy...Should worst come to worst, unlike the States finding a Lady was In my experience very easy.

 

[obelisk]

Major red flag that things are starting to circle the drain. As said above, the doom loop in her head will eventually make the blame yours.

 

[Learning Curve]

And how far is it to where you live compared to where she is from?

Around 2,5 hours drive.

 

[Learning Curve]

Not a great sign obviously.

The problem as useal is that you can't just get up and leave( I assume). Unfortunately this is something that is simply going ro happen, like a woman will get ber period. It's unavoidable in 99,9% of cases.

What can you do?
- Remain extremely calm.
- plan a exit strategy IN SILENCE.
- see if you can stay somewhere else
- try to be extremely seductive?insteadof anxious). See if you can surprise her and take her out / spoil her. Do so because you can tell she's having a difficult time. Be human..meanwhile you mainly do this to buy time so you can prepare your exit strategy in silence.
- be human..
-DO NOT talk about it yet.

Finally; as harsh as it sounds; get ready for the worst. Once a negative seed is planted, obviously a "negative tree" might grow out of it. Most experienced dudes can tell you it ALWAYS stares like this and it hardly ever gets better.

Thanks for the thought.

Will update this thread as i go.

 

[EyeBRollin]

This relationship is done. Your mistake was living with her. Get a new place and prepare to move.

 

[Learning Curve]

How did you end living together when only dating for roughly a year?
I dread this same scenario will play out with my current main. We've been together for ~2 years and she wants to live together come 2025.

Well if anyone of you knows me i never said in my life “it just happened” but with this chick it happened.

 

[Learning Curve]

This relationship is done. Your mistake was living with her. Get a new place and prepare to move.

Oh common.

Either provide a solid advice or don’t post on my threads.

You guys with zero advice experience throwing your opinions “the relationsip is done”

Post an advice or a thought or leave.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

And, of course today I got the: "I just feel weird lately, it's not your fault it's my fault, I think I'm depressed"

"Don't exaggerate. maybe you have food poisoning. Did you wash the vegetables?"

 

[Learning Curve]

"Don't exaggerate. maybe you have food poisoning. Did you wash the vegetables?"

maybe

 

[Gamisch]

"Don't exaggerate. maybe you have food poisoning. Did you wash the vegetables?"

No he doesn't. He would be in la hospital for a week...not funny Amsterdamned!

 

[Gamisch]

No she is not.

No past either.

This has happened since we moved together.

She finds her daily routine boring as she told me and because she moved from another city for me, she miss her family and friends.

As she told me “i spend only time with you and i want to see also my friends and family”

i told her to go multiple times.

She will go for a week now to her city. She told me to come.

We will see how it rolls.

Yup. This is how things go. Been in the same situation with my ex. She also lived a similar distance away from me. So we either keep traveling back and forth or she( lost lil girl) simply enters my life permanently..

When she moved in it felt like a WWWIN. Hb8,5 walking around in her bare azz when I am home from work..

But then the "unhappiness " started...it all starts like this: you THINK there are solutions. And there might be. As in you can prolong the inevitable. For a couple of months. A year.

But the complaints will get stronger and stronger. At some point my life revolves around HER UNHAPPINESS. Like there are more then ten holes in the dam but I only have ten fingers to stop the water from drowning me.

Eventually she moved back to her father, or let's say she always had her place there. Despite this I kept acting like the house wasn't on fire, acting like the inevitable wouldn't happen REAL soon..

Better be prepared for a crash..

Oh common.

Either provide a solid advice or don’t post on my threads.

You guys with zero advice experience throwing your opinions “the relationsip is done”

Post an advice or a thought or leave.

Don't know if you guys have past isseus, but he is basically spot on..he just straight forward. But he is right tho.

I say this because I would advise you to be as NON argumentative as possible and to keep your emotions in check when dealing with a depressed woman...she'll dragg you down with her into the abyss.

 

[The Duke]

No she is not.

No past either.

This has happened since we moved together.

She finds her daily routine boring as she told me and because she moved from another city for me, she miss her family and friends.

As she told me “i spend only time with you and i want to see also my friends and family”

i told her to go multiple times.

She will go for a week now to her city. She told me to come.

We will see how it rolls.

I've heard those exact same lines from one of my exgf's. Take it all in stride. She's a woman, they are all prisoners to their emotions. Sometimes its great, sometimes not.

I wouldn't assume she is less interested in you. Its common for sex drive to decrease when one is depressed. Its a good sign that she invited you.