She is engaged and still having sex with me...

[ClimberMan]

Ok guys. Get this: i met this bombshell "9/10" at least 6 months ago (she is 26 and i am a very fit 42). I saw she was attracted so i invited her for a drink. Short story: she has a bf that she does not love at all, but who is the typical "nice guy", emotionally dependant, weak, desperate, but "super nice". Her and i **** several times per week. She "left him" twice, but he begged and "pleaded" and she went back to him out of toxic guilt. Then her bf arranged a big party and he proposed in front of 50 people... Being very insecure and influenced by social pressure and guilt, she said "yes"... The next day she came to my place crying, panicked, and of course we had sex. We are actually in love (for real). Now she says that she is now scared of coming to me because "some day i will leave her"... She says that because women are indeed attracted to me, but i am a truly "good man" and i live with integrity and i am true to my partner when i am in love and in a relationship. But even if she is incredibly hot, she keeps seeing (inventing!) girls in my life all the time, freaking out about girls that supposedly are after me, asking me to "report" on what i did all the time, where i was, asking to see my cell (textos) and emails... And she says she doesn't feel like that "with him" (her bf)... And i stay polite but i tell myself "no wonder: he's a weak loser"... So anyway, i could literally write a (good) movie scenario about the whole thing... But i wanna know your comments and impressions. Go!

 

[sylvester the cat]

1) She's unfaithful
2) She's insecure
3) She's paranoid

Sounds like a good find OP. Good luck with it.

 

[ClimberMan]

I agree with you sylvester the cat: perhaps i should give this some thought and reassess the potential value of this would-be relationship. She is hot beyond words and we connect incredibly, but all that "baggage" that she seems to carry could become a hell of a load... Thanks for the brutal honesty man, i appreciate it.

 

[sylvester the cat]

By all means keep her on the side as a bit of fun but be wary of taking things further with her. The writing is on the wall.

 

[VladPatton]

Her unfaithful ass is paranoid about you seeing other girls yet she's the one juggling two guys?? Does that seem right to you? Ultimatum time. Sudden Death round. Tell her to drop the chump ASAP or you dump her. Be prepared for her to take the chump over you, though, as it's a safer bet for her.

Simplify your life, man. You banging a hot 26 yr old is dead proof you can do it again and bang another one. Get out of this ridiculous love triangle, it's not worth the sleepless nights.

 

[jc_80]

If she was in love with you then she'd be with you and only you. She's playing you too.

 

[cfdagola]

same kinda crap i'm in its terrible. only my girl ended their engagement for me.

she's with her safe bet guy where as me she second guessed every moment of our "relationship" which culminated to her going back to him but not getting re-engaged

from first hand experience man you have to much value and for her that's a deal breaker. Was for me also. I told her i can't control if other girls like me or that I have a social circle with beautiful women who are nothing more than friends who i speak to maybe twice a month.

her safe bet guy has 2 male friends who live in different states and no female friends. so basiclly he has no friends only her friends who speak to him because they're "together" it was his birthday today and she posted the most emotionally neutral happy b-day ever

"happy birthday to my bestest friend love youuu" in the past it was "happy birthday to my rock and the best man i know love you so much, happy birthday to my wonderful fiance"

this girl and your girl are playing us like fiddles. AND their beta best bet boyfriends. also despite advice from sosuave i have gone limited contact with her which is working for me. cuz unfortunately for me my lack of options has resulted in a dependency situation. so i'm using limited contact to ween myself off of her instead of doing it cold turkey and its working on my end. I haven't had the desire to text her for the last couple days and she's done all the contact thus far. Then again i let this go an entire YEAR. don't make my mistake dude.

 

[sylvester the cat]

notice how the insecurity and paranoia are probably results from her own unfaithful actions. in her mind that she is unfaithful must mean everybody else is unfaithful too. that, ladies and gentlemen, is true karma in action.

 

[way2smart]

Wow OP! Looks like you found yourself a keeper.
Looks like she has every trait you want in a woman:
Insecurity, Lack of loyalty, and Neediness.

Way to go man!

P.S: On a serious note, do you think she will be faithful to you if she drops the chump? Think again. I dated a girl like that. With girls like this, it doesn't matter if you are Alpha, if she has no integrity she will find another Alpha with no problems and you will become a Beta.

And she is right, thinking you will leave her one day, because you would be a fool if you didn't. If I were you, I would only keep her for sex, if I can't get anyone else for the night, you know like a backup booty call girl. Like a backup of the backup.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

She's a major predator posing as a house pet, avoid her.

I've seen two relationships fall apart with similar circumstances. Both guys gave their GFs too much power, the GFs both fu*ked around for validation, and because they knew they could. Things kept going off and on, and to desperately try and save the relationship the dudes purposed. The girls being the attention wh*res they are posted about how much they "loved" their fiancée, and made sure to post pictures the ring these guys spent their hard earned money on. One of them moved out of the dudes place while he was at work, leaving her wedding dress and other belongings behind. The other engagement seems to have blown up, the girl deleted anything she posted about it, started attention wh**ing with bikini mirror selfies, and then deleted her account about a week later. I really don't want to being it up to the dude, so don't know 100% with that one.

These are the type of women the DJ Bible warn us about. The toxic types that make some of us believe that all women are bad. You'd be much better off with someone else. As VladPatton said, you know you can get another girl around her age.

 

[ClimberMan]

I gave her an ultimatum twice in the past and she actuall did do it (i have proof) when forced into a choice. But then she freaks out, spends entire days guilting and saying i am "too much" for her, that i will leave her one day. Yet at the SAME time, she talks of the future with me with total enthusiasm (and i actually know she thinks it for real when she says it)... Kids, traveling together, etc etc. When i don't contact her for 3-4 days, she texts ms saying she misses me, that she loves me loke crazy and wants to see me asap. Btw the "option" of keeping her "just for sex" is not an option for me, and i don't have problems meeting attractive women. So anyways: should i giv her an absolutely total "ultimatum", like him or me "now" (or by wtv date) or should i outright lesve her for good? Now keep in mind in AM actually in love with this girl, as crazy as it may sound. So quit with your typical player tone of "having her for sex etc". Be human a bit. I am a very real, masculine "alpha male", but yes now i am in love for real. I can "bite the bullet" and really leave her, if that is to save my masculinity, but it will be very hard. I appreciate the feedback A LOT btw. You guys are amazing man. Keep it real! So given this info, what are your suggestions?

 

[LondonTowers]

YOU DO NOT GIVE ULTIMATUMS - EVER!

An ultimatum is the death rattle of a man losing control. You are not in love, this girl is low quality and you are covering these facts due to triggers of obsession not love.

You have kinks in your inner armour that have not been resolved or you would be laughing at the idea of LTR with this girl. When your seduction skills are tight, you will start attracting many types of girls.. even once in relationships.. That's not a problem, it comes down to you if you want to **** these types. But a quality women, even if seduced by you will hold a clear boundary and will either break up with her boyfriend to pursue you or push you away to stay with him.

This girl has proven she will cheat, so she is only worth f0cking and nothing else. If you catch feelings for this type you are not applying DJ principles. When you start attracting many types of girls you will also start to be confronted by situations that really show your inner core, situations where you get feels for low quality girl for example.. this is the next step for true inner mastery.. you confront the hidden weaknesses in your being.

Tl;dr: Walk away and look inside yourself

 

[sylvester the cat]

^ what he said.

you are not in love. you are in desire. love is about what is best for the other person. desire is about what is best for yourself.

when you experience true love you will never need another person again. although others will gravitate towards you because of it.

 

[jc_80]

I'm not perfect either. But you need a reality check bro. You're so caught up with winning this chick that you can't see how wrong this is for you. You're talking about making an ultimatum when you already said it didn't work the other two times. You're just refusing to see this for what it is - she's playing you! Think what this other guy is being told. I bet it's a different version than you think. There could be other men you don't Know about. She's a liar and a cheater and hasn't found anyone to commit to but knows you're totally whipped so she leads you on about the future. She's just making excuses for not fully giving herself to you. She's giving you the " I'm afraid of being hurt" line so you have to be " understanding" about it.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Climber you sound like the ultimate beta

 

[GS750]

She's playing her BF. She's fvcking around on him. She's playing you too by using sex as her way of keeping you around. She's also needy and insecure. She's probably crazy too. Bang her one last time and then drop her like a hot rock. This chick is toxic. Sounds like a bipolar chick my cousin got himself involved with, but she trapped him by getting knocked up. Don't be like my cousin. His life is a living hell. Eject ghost-rider. ASAP.

 

[Leif_Johnson]

An ultimatum for what? An ultimatum for a engaged woman? She is looking for a sucker and you are it. Get out while you can.

 

[jc_80]

this is a lost cause OP. once somebody exhibits this behavior of stringing you along repeatedly repeatedly it sours everything. you'll never get past it. you just haven't accepted it yet. You're making excuses. just think, if you started moving on and she came chasing after you, you'd keep wondering when she's going to revert back to this crap she's been doing since the beginning.

 

[SAYNO]

But we all know he won't listen don't we? No, hes so in luv. This guy has alot of learning to do esp at 42 yes old. Even if she left her boyfriend for him she would just repeat the same behaviour and cheat on him on and on ad infinitum! Why would anyone trust a wh●re like this?

 

[El Payaso]

BPD spawn from hell.