She is engaged and still having sex with me...

[ClimberMan]

I did the right thing and ended the whole thing. I was indeed weak in this whole thing. This is the first time I get caught up in such un unreal "maelstrom"! It was (and still is) dyzzying. I lost judgement and inner power for 5 months. I started sacrificing my masculine core because of her unreal looks and our unreal sex. BPD big time indeed El Payaso: I read about this a lot lately, and indeed: she has all the patterns. Very messed up. She really made CONCRETE plans to live with me (I have very credible proof of this) and many other projects. It's a very long story with unreal twists and turns (you would not believe!). But in the end, she always panicked and reverted to going back to him. Supposedly out of guilt, but maybe it was because he is safe and extra needy of her, and that reassures her. He literally has NO life outside of her. I have a healthy social circle of good, quality friends, I travel, do many sports and activities, etc. I think she dislikes that. In any case. The carzyness is over. It taxed me psychologically beyond words and messed up my otherwise solid core and confidence. Tomorrow I have a date with a hot 29 yo who actually seems mentally normal and nice!! This is gonna be very refreshing... Thank you all for the exchanges and input... even the insults: it serves as a bucket of cold water. But beware: it can happen to the best of us. Trust me! Keep it real. All the best. Cheers.

 

[jc_80]

I did the right thing and ended the whole thing. I was indeed weak in this whole thing. This is the first time I get caught up in such un unreal "maelstrom"! It was (and still is) dyzzying. I lost judgement and inner power for 5 months. I started sacrificing my masculine core because of her unreal looks and our unreal sex. BPD big time indeed El Payaso: I read about this a lot lately, and indeed: she has all the patterns. Very messed up. She really made CONCRETE plans to live with me (I have very credible proof of this) and many other projects. It's a very long story with unreal twists and turns (you would not believe!). But in the end, she always panicked and reverted to going back to him. Supposedly out of guilt, but maybe it was because he is safe and extra needy of her, and that reassures her. He literally has NO life outside of her. I have a healthy social circle of good, quality friends, I travel, do many sports and activities, etc. I think she dislikes that. In any case. The carzyness is over. It taxed me psychologically beyond words and messed up my otherwise solid core and confidence. Tomorrow I have a date with a hot 29 yo who actually seems mentally normal and nice!! This is gonna be very refreshing... Thank you all for the exchanges and input... even the insults: it serves as a bucket of cold water. But beware: it can happen to the best of us. Trust me! Keep it real. All the best. Cheers.

Good for you. Stay strong when the withdrawals hit. My recent ex was a disaster and the situation was not healthy for me. Even when it was over and I knew this, I still missed her like crazy sometimes and I was seeing better women. It was the weirdest thing. Probably all the future talk and plans she got me into made it feel like it was something big really lost but in reality it was a pile of shlt and I wasn't happy. It's b the letting go part that sucks. Just keep moving forward and you'll see you have much better options.

 

[LondonTowers]

Good man. But beware the pain and emotional confusion is going be hitting you in waves for awhile as your mind travels over all the little things about your relationship.

Just remain 100% NC and distract yourself with all the usual post breakup recommendations. She WILL try to hoover you and will know just the right thing to say to make you cave. DONT.

Keep moving forward and this time next year your core will be bullet proof from this experience.. regress and you'll go from teflon to tampon.

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, I'm curious... Was she prone to sudden fits of rage or was she even-keeled?

 

[tooripped]

I'd be very careful man! Make sure the guy never finds out where you live, and don't upset the woman in case she tries to spite you. Not the worst situation to be in imo lol

 

[ClimberMan]

JC, london, Mauser, Atom: thanks and you are totally right. She displays MANY BPD bahaviours, but NOT burts of anger... but what she DID do was... FLEE! Escape, literally. I should have raised major red fflags when I got a glimpse of her past men/relationships: NOT quality men AT ALL. Jocks OR losers (weak "nice guys" without any masculine drive or focus or vision or manliness). And this is for a girl who is a total bombshell. It did kind of crossed my mind at the time. I thought to myself "why is such an incredible bomb always with such low quality men? Then she started with the paranoia: checking my emails, texts, asking that I remove sexy girls from my fb friends, telling me that she would not be able to accept that I leave on rock climbing road trips with my buddies (without her), etc. Then she wsa talking about how we looked amazing together, how I was "so incredible"... only to freak out after and say I would "some day leave her", etc etc. She made plans to travel with me, live with me, even get married! When I would say "ummm don't you think it's weird to talk about marrying ME and having intense sex with ME every day and still be engaged to another guy?"... she would close down and sometimes literally leave, or just bunch up into a ball and go silent. I was really blinded by her looks and the unreal sex we had. But you know what: when you are losing your core masculine power and integrity and when things are "complicated", LEAVE! Sane, nice, sexy, sexual, good company women are out there and actually desperate for high quality men who display masculine traits, personal evolution, inner power and capacity for manly compassion, drive, vision, and decisive action. NEVER put your core at rsk for ANY girl, no matter how "10/10" she is. That lesson, my friends, was worth 5 months in Hell. I was a strong man but still obviously needed some work. In 6 months from now, I will be truly transformed. Now I will test just how "easy/doable" it is for me (42) to date hot girls below 30... on we go with happiness and healthy manliness. Keep it real.

 

[cfdagola]

JC, london, Mauser, Atom: thanks and you are totally right. She displays MANY BPD bahaviours, but NOT burts of anger... but what she DID do was... FLEE! Escape, literally. I should have raised major red fflags when I got a glimpse of her past men/relationships: NOT quality men AT ALL. Jocks OR losers (weak "nice guys" without any masculine drive or focus or vision or manliness). And this is for a girl who is a total bombshell. It did kind of crossed my mind at the time. I thought to myself "why is such an incredible bomb always with such low quality men? Then she started with the paranoia: checking my emails, texts, asking that I remove sexy girls from my fb friends, telling me that she would not be able to accept that I leave on rock climbing road trips with my buddies (without her), etc. Then she wsa talking about how we looked amazing together, how I was "so incredible"... only to freak out after and say I would "some day leave her", etc etc. She made plans to travel with me, live with me, even get married! When I would say "ummm don't you think it's weird to talk about marrying ME and having intense sex with ME every day and still be engaged to another guy?"... she would close down and sometimes literally leave, or just bunch up into a ball and go silent. I was really blinded by her looks and the unreal sex we had. But you know what: when you are losing your core masculine power and integrity and when things are "complicated", LEAVE! Sane, nice, sexy, sexual, good company women are out there and actually desperate for high quality men who display masculine traits, personal evolution, inner power and capacity for manly compassion, drive, vision, and decisive action. NEVER put your core at rsk for ANY girl, no matter how "10/10" she is. That lesson, my friends, was worth 5 months in Hell. I was a strong man but still obviously needed some work. In 6 months from now, I will be truly transformed. Now I will test just how "easy/doable" it is for me (42) to date hot girls below 30... on we go with happiness and healthy manliness. Keep it real.

word for word on how my chick would act when she would try and covnince me that she does want something more and i'm like BUT YOU LIVE WITH DUDE!

she would clam up and just shut down and give me the silent treatment.

i met her out on halloween party night at a college campus just last night. Sorta wish I didn't at first it was good then in the middle of heated public passion she's like are you still mad at me?

i'm like mad at what? she's like you know what. i'm like lets get this straight i will NEVER accept what you got going on and she just shut down. not for the whole night. two guys tried number closing her and without incident i shut them down.

then we were walking arms around each other and i heard some drunk guy talk about taking my chick for himself because she's got a nice A**. i just sorta laughed to myself and then said jokes on him cuz you're not even my girl.

she literally ran off in a fit and started flirting with the first dude she saw. SMH

 

[SAYNO]

Climberman there is a movie on you tube, that reminds me of women like this its called "A mothers worse nightmare" text book example of a bpd, or paranoid schizoid type of females running around out here masqueradingas good women. Go check it out. Also one other thing post her pic, just curious to see what she looks like..

 

[GS750]

Yeah good call. She fine?

 

[ClimberMan]

1) I would never post pics of a girl for all to see - that is not me at all. I don't want to hurt her in any way. She is already a messed up person enough as it is and most of it is not really her fault - her upbringing messed her up, as a wrongly directed 0-20 period always does, for men and women! But yes: she is absolutely amazing... it is quite something! OUF!
2) She is not taking it well at all. She seems to be going into depression. Now she is saying she can't be with him and will leave him for good, etc. I told her to do what she wants but that she needs to get her **** together before she can be in a healthy relationship.
3) Sayno: thanks for the movie tip there... I'll check that out for sure!

PS: My date with the hot 29 yo went really well... I still had this 5-month bomb and "crazy love affair" in my system, but the vibe was excellent and went very well... seeing her tomorrow...

 

[Bokanovsky]

Ok guys. Get this: i met this bombshell "9/10" at least 6 months ago (she is 26 and i am a very fit 42). I saw she was attracted so i invited her for a drink. Short story: she has a bf that she does not love at all, but who is the typical "nice guy", emotionally dependant, weak, desperate, but "super nice". Her and i **** several times per week. She "left him" twice, but he begged and "pleaded" and she went back to him out of toxic guilt. Then her bf arranged a big party and he proposed in front of 50 people... Being very insecure and influenced by social pressure and guilt, she said "yes"... The next day she came to my place crying, panicked, and of course we had sex. We are actually in love (for real). Now she says that she is now scared of coming to me because "some day i will leave her"... She says that because women are indeed attracted to me, but i am a truly "good man" and i live with integrity and i am true to my partner when i am in love and in a relationship. But even if she is incredibly hot, she keeps seeing (inventing!) girls in my life all the time, freaking out about girls that supposedly are after me, asking me to "report" on what i did all the time, where i was, asking to see my cell (textos) and emails... And she says she doesn't feel like that "with him" (her bf)... And i stay polite but i tell myself "no wonder: he's a weak loser"... So anyway, i could literally write a (good) movie scenario about the whole thing... But i wanna know your comments and impressions. Go!

I see that you're new here, climberman. A few basic tips:

1. Whatever reasons she may have for saying "yes" to a marriage proposal, you can bet your a$$ that "toxic guilt" has nothing to do with it. The girl is an HB9 cheating wh0re. I doubt she's even familiar with the concept of guilt.

2. Do not, ever, take anything that a woman tells you about another man at face value. Unless you know her fiance personally, you don't know sh!t about him.

3. On second thought, do not, ever, take anything a woman tells you at face value, period. You really believe that mushy ego-stroking nonsense that she's feeding you, don't you? She's "scared" of coming to you because one day you will leave her? Yeah right. She's mind-fvcking you, and you are falling for it hook, line and sinker.


EDIT: I see you did the right thing...kind of. If the sex is good, why not just keep fvcking her? Just don't fall in love with her and treat it as a serious relationship.