She gets bored frequently / Sex is decreased

[The Duke]

@Learning Curve

I see incompatibility. She wants to have more fun, you want to be more serious and focus on your life goals.

A woman should compliment your life, not make it more difficult. Doesn't sound like she is complimenting your life much.

Also, what a woman typically states as the problem is just scratching the surface. The larger more important issue is beneath the surface. Her desire for you is diminishing. Women always start showing negative behavioral patterns when they lose interest.

 

[Barrister]

In other words, you don't want to hear that you made a mistake, right? You want to some magic bullet solution that will instantly solve your problem?

Unfortunately, I have bad news for you. She's bored because...are you ready for it...she's got nothing to do. Normally, a woman would be occupying her time by caring after her kids. The only valid reason for moving in with a woman is to start a family. If you're not interested in that because you are focused on your "purpose and mission" (whatever that means), why in the world would you want to live with a woman??

OP wants to live with her because he wants sex on tap. The problem you always face is that sex frequency and quality almost immediately take a hit when a man and woman move in together. They also typically start showing way more attitude and testing boundaries, just like OP's woman is doing.

This behavior usually only gets worse, not better. The fact that it is happening that quickly (1 year) is probably a bad sign of more sh1t to come. OP, you basically have one way to salvage this and that is to tell her if she doesn't like it that she can just move back to her city. If she takes you up on it, you basically just need to cut ties and move on to other women. Or, you can continue to deal with the bad attitude when you get home from work. Having been there and done that I would encourage you not to go that route.

 

[BaronOfHair]

In other words, you don't want to hear that you made a mistake, right? You want to some magic bullet solution that will instantly solve your problem?

Reminds one of guys who ask questions like this https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...-by-telling-her-about-it.282439/#post-3123050

In every other area of our lives, we readily accept that if we desire different results, it's imperative that we

-Identify the behaviors and traits which are preventing us from achieving our goals

-Either eliminate them entirely, or modify them in some way

It's f-cking mind boggling that so many of us cling tenaciously to the delusion that dating and mating is any different

 

[Westminster]

OP wants to live with her because he wants sex on tap. The problem you always face is that sex frequency and quality almost immediately take a hit when a man and woman move in together. They also typically start showing way more attitude and testing boundaries, just like OP's woman is doing.

This behavior usually only gets worse, not better. The fact that it is happening that quickly (1 year) is probably a bad sign of more sh1t to come. OP, you basically have one way to salvage this and that is to tell her if she doesn't like it that she can just move back to her city. If she takes you up on it, you basically just need to cut ties and move on to other women. Or, you can continue to deal with the bad attitude when you get home from work. Having been there and done that I would encourage you not to go that route.

Nail on head.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I agree. As harsh as it sounds you cannot demand a custom made advice. That's, among men, a BIG mistake.

Now that's out of the way, let's zoom in on the actual situation. I've lived together with the love of my life. Same shyte as you. Copy paste. Other city . Two and a half hours away from her family. Sex got less and less untill it felt like I had to grape her to bust a nut.

I will give you two different advices:
1.(reddit vannila advice) Sit her down. Talk to her(again?). Offer solutions . But do NOT expect this to be the magical thing that Will everything right..

2. (Sosuave.net don juan advice) Leave. Tell her that you don't wanna do this anymore. Tell her you rather set her free so the BOTH of you can find peace. Be the first to pull the trigger!!! Have the power to walk away. End it. Because if you don't, she will, very very soon..most likely after you THINK you resolved the issue.
__________________________________
Bro, we all been here (multiple times). Women don't reason with logic. Yes you moved in too soon. Let that be a lesson for life. Once you move in with a woman you'll lose frame. Period. Imo it's the classic case of a woman wanna play the field but now she's restricted. Why do we men even want this BS? "Easy" sex? Nah. Company? Financial shyte? Why would you even tolerate a stranger to mess up your inner peace like this???

This might go so much deeper than you realize, and if you are smart you come.out of this as a better, smarter and more experienced man..or stick your fingers in your ear and wait till it all burns down.

OP was too easy for her and any man that willingly runs into a room and locks the door so he can't leave is not attractive. It's actually very much the opposite.

She has already seen this movie play out over and over again and knows how this ends. Usually badly in her experience and even if not, the excitement is now gone because there is no suspense to try and figure out what is coming next.

Men are supposed to be wild stallions that women have to work at to tame...and once they tame them they will feel a sense of accomplishment and because they put in so much effort and work into it, will be very hesitant to give it up because they are hugely invested personally. She did no such work because OP literally did it all for her while she sat on the couch and fanned herself with a giant palm leaf like Cleopatra.

She is wondering, if he is in such demand, why was it so easy and why was he in such a hurry to get me moved in? What is he hiding? What am I missing here? Something doesn't feel right...

OP wants to pretend this isn't the problem and justify it some other way, but deep down I think he knows he fvcked up.

 

[Gamisch]

OP was too easy for her and any man that willingly runs into a room and locks the door so he can't leave is not attractive. It's actually very much the opposite.

She has already seen this movie play out over and over again and knows how this ends. Usually badly in her experience and even if not, the excitement is now gone because there is no suspense to try and figure out what is coming next.

Men are supposed to be wild stallions that women have to work at to tame...and once they tame them they will feel a sense of accomplishment and because they put in so much effort and work into it, will be very hesitant to give it up because they are hugely invested personally. She did no such work because OP literally did it all for her while she sat on the couch and fanned herself with a giant palm leaf like Cleopatra.

She is wondering, if he is in such demand, why was it so easy and why was he in such a hurry to get me moved in? What is he hiding? What am I missing here? Something doesn't feel right...

OP wants to pretend this isn't the problem and justify it some other way, but deep down I think he knows he fvcked up.

Great summary !

Tons of truth bombs.

 

[Canadian_Man]

You may not be interested in hearing things you don't want too but I'm going to tell you anyway

YOU ARE NOT COMPATIBLE WITH HER

Some people seem to think two people can slot into each others lives no questions asked

It doesn't work like that there's a raft of personal lifestyle choices that need to be integrated into one another

This woman sounds like she needs a lot of stimulation from a partner, from life from everything by the sounds of it

You want to focus on yourself and your own purpose

there is your fundamental issue

Related YT video on this general concept:

 

[Learning Curve]

This all points to her simply not being that into OP. Women who are head over heels in love with guys don't behave that way.

OP seems like a safe placeholder guy until she can find what she actually wants.

She does act, submissive, and has plenty of signs being in love, there is something deeper going on.

 

[Learning Curve]

Unfortunately, I have bad news for you. She's bored because...are you ready for it...she's got nothing to do. Normally, a woman would be occupying her time by caring after her kids. The only valid reason for moving in with a woman is to start a family. If you're not interested in that because you are focused on your "purpose and mission" (whatever that means), why in the world would you want to live with a woman??

I never said i don't want to have a family, that's the point one to your question.

Second point that you said

"purpose and mission" (whatever that means)

This is something that we men do when we want to succeed in life financialy, and spiritually. Not just money, i'm sure you will figure it out what that means.

 

[Learning Curve]

I agree. As harsh as it sounds you cannot demand a custom made advice. That's, among men, a BIG mistake.

I don't demand a custom advice, and i'm sure most of you realize this by now.

It's more like getting straight to the point, yes i realize and i know it plays a role. Moving to early. I know.

I will give you two different advices:
1.(reddit vannila advice) Sit her down. Talk to her(again?). Offer solutions . But do NOT expect this to be the magical thing that Will everything right..

Already tried that, did not work. She acts like she does not know what's going on, yet i know what's going on. Probably from my understanding since yesterday until today, she wants a different life. That's what i sense. She is not meant to be in a relationship. Also living in another city that she has no family or friends makes her depressed apparently.

2. (Sosuave.net don juan advice) Leave. Tell her that you don't wanna do this anymore. Tell her you rather set her free so the BOTH of you can find peace. Be the first to pull the trigger!!! Have the power to walk away. End it. Because if you don't, she will, very very soon..most likely after you THINK you resolved the issue.

I'm considering my options at this point and i will make a decision soon.

Bro, we all been here (multiple times). Women don't reason with logic. Yes you moved in too soon. Let that be a lesson for life. Once you move in with a woman you'll lose frame. Period. Imo it's the classic case of a woman wanna play the field but now she's restricted. Why do we men even want this BS? "Easy" sex? Nah. Company? Financial shyte? Why would you even tolerate a stranger to mess up your inner peace like this???

This might go so much deeper than you realize, and if you are smart you come.out of this as a better, smarter and more experienced man..or stick your fingers in your ear and wait till it all burns down.

Thanks.

 

[Learning Curve]

OP wants to live with her because he wants sex on tap. The problem you always face is that sex frequency and quality almost immediately take a hit when a man and woman move in together. They also typically start showing way more attitude and testing boundaries, just like OP's woman is doing.

This behavior usually only gets worse, not better. The fact that it is happening that quickly (1 year) is probably a bad sign of more sh1t to come. OP, you basically have one way to salvage this and that is to tell her if she doesn't like it that she can just move back to her city. If she takes you up on it, you basically just need to cut ties and move on to other women. Or, you can continue to deal with the bad attitude when you get home from work. Having been there and done that I would encourage you not to go that route.

Yep, this happened already, she told me to basically move in with her to her city, as she has her own house and she told me "we will not pay rent" etc, we will have a better life.

I will not change my life and a city for a woman. Yes, i love her, but in 1 year of time, i'm not ready to make that kind of change.

I'm considering my options now, and i have think about my next possible moves.

Thanks.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She does act, submissive, and has plenty of signs being in love, there is something deeper going on.

You are simply seeing what you want to see.

There is something deeper going on and it's her respect level for you continues to degrade over time.

And when you say she isn't interested in sex, you are leaving out the 2 most important words at the end of the sentence, and those are "with me".

Because trust me, it's not that she isn't interested in having sex anymore...it's that she isn't interested in having sex anymore WITH YOU.

 

[Learning Curve]

You are simply seeing what you want to see.

There is something deeper going on and it's her respect level for you continues to degrade over time.

And when you say she isn't interested in sex, you are leaving out the 2 most important words at the end of the sentence, and those are "with me".

Because trust me, it's not that she isn't interested in having sex anymore...it's that she isn't interested in having sex anymore WITH YOU.

Probably, but you are taking only one factor into consideration.

There is many variables in place.

Thanks for the input.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Probably, but you are taking only one factor into consideration.

There is many variables in place.

Thanks for the input.

Yes and they point to you trying to rush things which means you did not allow her time to "tame" you but rather tamed yourself for her, which now makes her wonder what's wrong with you

 

[crowolf]

Check out some of the old Elliott Hulse videos. You will definitely find some valuable perspectives or even answers there to your questions about your current situation.

 

[CBear]

Maybe yes, but we have a-lot of things in common, she is a high-achiever she wants things from life, we do get along health wise, we go together to the gym, we have hobbies we like.

But in-terms of living together and other factors yes i agree that a percentage is missing for combatibility.

And indeed she needs a-lot of stimulation all the time.

You've been together for a year and live together, you go to the gym together, you go out every weekend. And she's bored? She's bored of you my friend. Your gut feeling is telling you this and you can tell that she has built a lot of resentment towards you due to the things she says and her behaviors. It comes down to the fact that you just may not be meant for each other. If this is going on by 1 year, that's a complete fact. I would sit and have a talk with her on your future together, expectations, what changes she needs to make/you need to make, and then after this conversation, decide if the relationship is salvageable. Bc if she keeps building resentment due to believing that she's sacrificing all these things for you a year in, it's only going to become a bigger mess the more you both continue with this.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Yes and they point to you trying to rush things which means you did not allow her time to "tame" you but rather tamed yourself for her, which now makes her wonder what's wrong with you

This is the most important thing. My woman pushed (in a nice way) to live together. I wasn't trying to "game" her or put on a front, I just like my personal space and time. Over time I decided she was cool and respectful and we had a special thing going, and gave it a shot. And yes, she did once try to press my buttons after moving in and I made it 1000% clear I wouldn't stand for that. That was the last time she gave real attitude, lol. She knows I'll eject, and she knows I can go out and find a woman in a heartbeat.

Thing is, I remain feral. I go out alone or with buddies and flirt with other women and she knows it and respects it. I pursue my mission in life for which there are few if any compromises and she respects that. If anything it keeps her attraction fresh. We overlap where we do and where we don't, well that's what friends or personal time is for. This, for me, is compatibility. Wouldn't work for me (or her) with just anyone.

To the OP, IME the best relationships are when both people "get" each other. Whatever your goals or path in life, be steadfast to yourself first and foremost. She'll either get on board or it'll end, one way or another.

 

[Gamisch]

Play this full volume and single along

 

[HaleyBaron]

Been together now for around 1 year.

We live together, and don't start the crap "too early to move in together, you lost the game," not interested in that.

Too early to move in. Won't stop me from saying it.

It was my decison to move in early, as it was beneficial for both sides after 6 months. I have posted in the past also regarding this topic. So avoid crap, and avoid stupid comments.

You already made the mistake and you came here to complain. If you want our advice, stop being disrespectful and drop your pride. Own your L and read.

Sex is decreased meaning that unless i initiate to have sex it will never happen. It was like this from the beggining, she did initiate some times, but most of the times i do initiate. And if i don't she never brings it up, is like she does not care. Well this starts to become a problem.

blah blah blah

You have an insecurity issue. You care too much. And you don't have much going cause you not only moved in with a new girl, but you seem to be thinking about her every day.

Here's your solution. I could tell you everything about why it's happening, but I'm just going to give you the answer cause you're naive and need a hard truth.

DROP HER. MOVE AWAY FROM HER. BE SINGLE FOR A WHILE AND **** SIDE GIRLS.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Take advice from people with a grain of salt. Nobody knows your situation. You don't want people telling you what to do, you have to decide it for yourself.

However, I recommend you to read these two books, its more aimed towards men living with their women. You don't wanna leave her, that's fine. Read or listen to those books, by Rian Stone.

1. Frame
2. Dread

Its from Married Red Pill, where many men share notes and fixed their problems, it will Red Pill on extra hard mode. Give it a try and you'll be able to see clearly, before it becomes another statistics of Dead Bedroom

I'm not in a married or living situation, but always glad to add more books to the shelf.