She demands a 5th date out to dinner prior to banging

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
5,068
Reaction score
3,896
"Project the image" of having a potential future?
Or..
Actually have a potential future?

In other words,...lying to her to get laid?,...or actually have it be true?
Both. True to some extent and also exaggerated. The truth is, you never know for sure how things will end up.
 

TheNewStyle123

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2020
Messages
622
Reaction score
464
I've found that quality women do tend to want to wait longer, but if they want to wait too long of a time the risk of nothing ever happening is so great that it's not worth pursuing. I try to get a feel over text for this (what speed limit towards sex they will tolerate). All of my LTR's happened with sex within 3 dates. If sex didn't happen within 3 dates, it didn't happen at all.
Think it's even worth trying for the 5th date then, or is it pretty much a no-go?
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
5,068
Reaction score
3,896
Think it's even worth trying for the 5th date then, or is it pretty much a no-go?
I say go with it since in this case you cancelled/rescheduled and she is showing renewed enthusiasm. Just be sure to escalate as smoothly as you can.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,252
Reaction score
4,751
Age
45
Man ive never ever ever gone past 2 dates prior bang.. Mostly are in one date.. Op situation looks like a girl offering transactional sex.. When its transactional theres never be a real intimacy.. Good lord, im quick to get bored by girls manipulation, i tend to ghost them without closure.. Let alone a 5th date?? What else is there to say on the date? Topic about Her panties size?
Sometimes it can take a bit longer, but what's important is that there is forward momentum.

I think once you start going backwards, it's done.
 

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,641
Reaction score
1,349
Location
random
You can't have both. I'm talking about your objective motives,....not how it maybe might turn out in the end.
some moral dilemmas will block some men, and that is a good thing. this one might not be one of those. because you would or might accept her for an LTR and even permanent if she feels and looks good while treating you well and doing that consistently. That's the vibe, you are available if she is the one, but your standards are high. It's not a lie, it is actually true (...). So no dilemma, always present that you would if she is. Don't ever compromise on your standards. The result is you will probably not encounter any that fit your standards quickly and will, unfortunately, be forced to try out many.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
15,157
Reaction score
16,421
OP, now I have read everything here and in the other thread of yours.

I don't know about the other DJs on here, but from my own experience, 3 (three) dates are maximum time for sex to happen. If, for whatever reasons, I can't fvck her at the 3rd date, then 99,999% I never will because her Interest Level in me would drop close to zero by then.

The fact you prolonged the entire courtship to the 5th date means you need to learn a lot more about the art of escalation, OP.

Remember: Whenever you fail to fvck a girl, she'll find another guy to do it for her.
This is completely, completely wrong.

2 of the best long term relationships I have ever had sex happened on dates 4 and 6. If I would have stuck to these stupid rules I would have missed out.

We also fvcked like rabbits in both of them and these women were both completely head over heels for me.
 

Poonstra

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 27, 2018
Messages
267
Reaction score
190
Age
46
What guys need to understand is that patience is the key to women.
This ^^^
Anybody questioning this advice should go and see what Pook had to say about it.
 

PRW63

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
637
Reaction score
524
Age
62
Location
Illinois within driving distance of St Louis, Mo
some moral dilemmas will block some men, and that is a good thing. this one might not be one of those. because you would or might accept her for an LTR and even permanent if she feels and looks good while treating you well and doing that consistently. That's the vibe, you are available if she is the one, but your standards are high. It's not a lie, it is actually true (...). So no dilemma, always present that you would if she is. Don't ever compromise on your standards. The result is you will probably not encounter any that fit your standards quickly and will, unfortunately, be forced to try out many.
I agree with that, but it isn't what I am seeing in this case.

My principle is this:
  1. If a guy just wants to get laid then look for "hoes" and "thots" and knock yourself out. You'll have an easier time, less frustrated, and she will probably satisfy you more in bed. I don't personally think that ends well in the long run but at least your are consistent and you aren't emotionally/mentally "damaging" someone who isn't already damaged or does not want that as their lifestyle.
  2. There is still a segment of society that still believes in abstinence until marriage, or at least a solid LTR has formed. Anyone who has the strength to pull that one off successfully deserves the kudos. But if someone doesn't approve of that or thinks it is nonsense,...then just don't date them. Simple, problem solved. But they aren't wrong or devious or manipulating anyone by trying to maintain what they believe in.
I think that very last sentence is the sticking point here. If a woman wants to wait until marraige or at least until it is a stabile LTR with a strong emotional bond,...she isn't manipulating anyone, deceiving anyone, or trying to "steel their frame",...she is just trying to live by her own principles and survive in a world where most live without principles.
 

PRW63

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
637
Reaction score
524
Age
62
Location
Illinois within driving distance of St Louis, Mo
This is completely, completely wrong.

2 of the best long term relationships I have ever had sex happened on dates 4 and 6. If I would have stuck to these stupid rules I would have missed out.

We also fvcked like rabbits in both of them and these women were both completely head over heels for me.
Yea,...it is just a stupid rule from the 1970's PUA community at the peak of the "Free Love" movement,...also called the Sexual Revolution. Yes, it is based somewhat on statistics and averages, but it is still a generality and nothing but a generality. It is more true when applied to an amoral demographic, but as soon as it is applied to groups that hold to particular sets of moral values they blow the whole thing out of the water.
 

Velasco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
1,283
Reaction score
1,452
Age
31
2 of the best long term relationships I have ever had sex happened on dates 4 and 6. If I would have stuck to these stupid rules I would have missed out.
would have slept with them on date 1, had you done things right and/or no obstacles.

This was his quality girl on date 2 (only made out with her on date 1)
We escalated and were making out on the couch, but after sucking on her tits for a little she timidly pushed me away.
sluts also give LMR when they're not horny enough...if you didn't know

Most of or all the girls you've been with, had you done things right on Day 1 (or had there not been some insurmountable obstacle that forced you to delay things until later), you could've bedded on Day 1.
Now she's playing hard to get cuz she doesn't want to think of herself as easy (funny when you point out to them, that you would have fcked them on first meet had it not been for X factor (logistics/cckblock most of the time) cuz it destroys the narrative they're trying to build (that they're not easy).
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
15,157
Reaction score
16,421
would have slept with them on date 1, had you done things right and/or no obstacles.

This was his quality girl on date 2 (only made out with her on date 1)

sluts also give LMR when they're not horny enough...if you didn't know

Most of or all the girls you've been with, had you done things right on Day 1 (or had there not been some insurmountable obstacle that forced you to delay things until later), you could've bedded on Day 1.
Now she's playing hard to get cuz she doesn't want to think of herself as easy (funny when you point out to them, that you would have fcked them on first meet had it not been for X factor (logistics/cckblock most of the time) cuz it destroys the narrative they're trying to build (that they're not easy).
Maybe but then that brings up a whole nother level of crap you have to deal with many times with them thinking it is moving too fast, etc etc etc...

I'm not thirsty like that. I can wait a few dates. I had other women I was banging while dating them for the first few months.
 

PRW63

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
637
Reaction score
524
Age
62
Location
Illinois within driving distance of St Louis, Mo
I'm not thirsty like that. I can wait a few dates. I had other women I was ...
You can even be not thirsty and wait a few dates even without the others. I know I don't have to have others on the side to not be thirsty. I guess I have disciplined myself to not be thirsty in general. I keep a clear head.
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
5,068
Reaction score
3,896
I agree with that, but it isn't what I am seeing in this case.

My principle is this:
  1. If a guy just wants to get laid then look for "hoes" and "thots" and knock yourself out. You'll have an easier time, less frustrated, and she will probably satisfy you more in bed. I don't personally think that ends well in the long run but at least your are consistent and you aren't emotionally/mentally "damaging" someone who isn't already damaged or does not want that as their lifestyle.
  2. There is still a segment of society that still believes in abstinence until marriage, or at least a solid LTR has formed. Anyone who has the strength to pull that one off successfully deserves the kudos. But if someone doesn't approve of that or thinks it is nonsense,...then just don't date them. Simple, problem solved. But they aren't wrong or devious or manipulating anyone by trying to maintain what they believe in.
I think that very last sentence is the sticking point here. If a woman wants to wait until marraige or at least until it is a stabile LTR with a strong emotional bond,...she isn't manipulating anyone, deceiving anyone, or trying to "steel their frame",...she is just trying to live by her own principles and survive in a world where most live without principles.
Out of curiosity PRW63, what are you seeing here?
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
15,157
Reaction score
16,421
You can even be not thirsty and wait a few dates even without the others. I know I don't have to have others on the side to not be thirsty. I guess I have disciplined myself to not be thirsty in general. I keep a clear head.
Yeah that's true but it is much easier for many guys to maintain this when they have other women.
 
Top