she called me twice just now, dont know why. didnt answer. what to do?

[big weezy]

Ok I got flamed on here for this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1978842#post1978842

She called me twice just now at 8.45 and 9pm I didn't answer either time. I'm in the mall with my buddies.

We usually text back straight away or she does. I duno what she wants but after the dressing down I got on here I don't wanna do anything till I get advice.

What should I do? Text her I'm out? She's prob gona dellete my number if she thinks I'm ignoring her.

Was gona send a text to say; hey, I'm in the mall with a friend, I'll be back in an hour.

To buy me some time. Should I call her back? I'm not prepared for this. I don't know what she wants. She usually texts me, maybe she's worried she's losing me after me saying 'ok cool, no hard feelings '

 

[pdx1138]

Why don't you be more assertive and take some risks? Women want a guy who is assertive and not asking advice every second about what to do.

After reading the DJ bible and everything else here you should know what action to take.

figure it out man. take some risk and make a decision, this will help you in the long term.

If she loses interest because you made the wrong choice on what to do, so the hell what.

Find another one.

 

[big weezy]

Why don't you be more assertive and take some risks? Women want a guy who is assertive and not asking advice every second about what to do.

Its cos I f'd up that I need advice now. Everything posted was done before I got advice. Now its time I wait and see what the wiser heads say to do.

 

[pdx1138]

right, so learn from that and proceed forward.

it's not rocket science.

don't get me wrong, I'm encouraging you, not knocking you.

 

[Fatal Jay]

this dude trippin,dont call her back

pick the phone up on the third call

but do not contact her make sure she is getting in contact with you

don't text or call her unless she does it

 

[dap]

Text: "Im busy tonight. Talk tomorrow?" Then, let her initiate tomorrow.

Or, do nothing and see if she comes back.

 

[big weezy]

right, so learn from that and proceed forward.

it's not rocket science.

don't get me wrong, I'm encouraging you, not knocking you.

But what am I actually suppose to do? I've never been in this situation before where they've called me.

New territory for me. No contact means no contact but cos I've only been out with her twice surely a different methodology would be ideal.

 

[big weezy]

ok so i sent this after an hour around 10.10pm:

cant talk at the mall with friends. be home in a bit.

half an hour later

her: no problem
(then immediately after)
her: it mean that your girl friend why you couldnt talk

now at this point i was thinking wtf.. the wiser heads on here would probably be able to guess what she's trying to do or trying to get out of me.

i was considering just not responding but then that would seem as if what she said was true and the reason i couldnt talk was cos i was with my gf when actuality i was being an afc wimp and didn't want to take the calls as i may something i'd regret or slip up.

so 20mins later i sent:

no i dont have a girlfriend.

end. what was she trying to get at with all this? it's like cos i made it like i was giving up yesterday she was calling to see if she still had me. she's an only child and impatient and surgically attached to her phone so i frustrated her by not answering so she called again 15 mins later. god knows what she wanted to talk about, maybe just to find out if i was still into her (i thought maybe she wanted to invite me round but realistically that wasn't gona happen and if she was she'd have texted me something like 'do you want to come over?')

i dont know if i've made a mistake again but my train of thought is to be cordial and polite and dont act like i'm that interested anymore given that really i'm suppose to along the lines of no contacting her. (i prob should also be less available and wait longer before i reply)

my mandate now is unless she's inviting me over to drink something alcoholic i wont be meeting her again.

 

[ARrocket]

Why don't you be more assertive and take some risks? Women want a guy who is assertive and not asking advice every second about what to do.

After reading the DJ bible and everything else here you should know what action to take.

figure it out man. take some risk and make a decision, this will help you in the long term.

If she loses interest because you made the wrong choice on what to do, so the hell what.

Find another one.

You really need to listen to this advice here - you're not going to get better this way.

My contribution: You're boring. You need to be fun.

HER: "it mean that your girl friend why you couldnt talk"

YOU: "no i don't have a girlfriend"

This is BORING. Try something like this:

"All 50 of them are here with me...But I'm getting rid of a few, because they suck at tennis "

Or ANYTHING. Remember: Take risks, don't care so much about the girl, and you WILL learn by doing. You will learn MUCH, MUCH more than you can learn from folks on this forum, no matter how many little green dots they have under their name.

 

[big weezy]

You really need to listen to this advice here - you're not going to get better this way.

My contribution: You're boring. You need to be fun.

HER: "it mean that your girl friend why you couldnt talk"

YOU: "no i don't have a girlfriend"

This is BORING. Try something like this:

"All 50 of them are here with me...But I'm getting rid of a few, because they suck at tennis "

Or ANYTHING. Remember: Take risks, don't care so much about the girl, and you WILL learn by doing. You will learn MUCH, MUCH more than you can learn from folks on this forum, no matter how many little green dots they have under their name.

i see what you mean.. be playful, dont take what she says seriously. hmm this is all knew to me.. never had a girl call me after i've done what i've done.

what do you think the reason is she is telling me i have a girl friend? is she fishing for information?

all of this is baffling to me.. like she made it pretty clear she won't be kissing me, so the obvious answer is she doesn't want to lose me but doesn't want me.. so was calling to see if she still got me. then now saying i have a girlfriend let's her have an excuse to stop talking to me. f knows.

 

[dap]

Take risks, don't care so much about the girl, and you WILL learn by doing. You will learn MUCH, MUCH more than you can learn from folks on this forum, no matter how many little green dots they have under their name.

This is great. Don't treat girls like they are the last vag on the planet. Sure, you will screw up some (or a lot) but this is how you learn. Take risks until you find what works. However in this situation, I would go no contact, described here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=136749

In the meantime, I highly suggest starting a 'Boot camp' to catch up to everyone else. Here is an example: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=12802

Good luck

 

[yuppaz]

She sounds foreign & her text sounded jealous... Not a bad position for you to be in.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

....so, once again, we have an example of why I like to say, "texting KILLS relationships." I'm finishing up a free ebook on this subject for others to read, but here's a preview: one of the reasons texting sucks is due to the miscommunication that can take place.

That text she sent you could be read a number of different ways. And that's the problem: you don't know what she was talking about or what she was trying to find out. Even the way she phrased it sounds like a special need's child trying to put a sentence together. So, your response to it isn't going to sound good because you don't really know what thought of hers you're responding to in the first place!

Aside from the texting thing, though, she really has you by the balls. She calls you twice and don't pick up, and now you're afraid she's going to trash your number?? WTF! You don't have to pick up the phone every single time she calls you - if anything, you should be showing her you have a life outside of her by NOT always picking up the phone and just explaining later on why you didn't answer. And even THAT should be your choice if u want to tell her or not!

If a girl's going to get rid of your number over something like that, it just means she was looking for an excuse to dump you anyway and needed a reason she could use to justify it. I ignore girls' phone calls all the time - heck, some days i have "no phone days" where i don't answer anyone's calls - and i'm still able to keep girls around.

Lastly, people on here gave u great advice, and most said "don't text back." And u ended up texting her back anyway. Why ask for advice if you're not even considering taking it??

 

[Atom Smasher]

What Harry said.

She was calling to reassure herself that you still like her, to feed her massive ego. Once that knowledge is gained, they can go back to treating you like crap again because their curiosity and need for attention are satisfied.

The ONLY way to discipline a woman is through removal of attention.

Aso, never, ever take what she says seriously. It's good to learn to "agree & amplify to show her you don't give a sh!t (and btw, you will also be showing yourself that you don't give a sh!t, cause you need to learn that).

Her: girlfriend comment

You: You know how it is, so many I've gotta beat 'em off with a stick...

You must always keep a women guessing. Don't think it's being cruel. They love it and it keeps them in their place, even if the verbally complain. What they say means zero.

 

[Greasy Pig]

OP, Atom Smasher and ARocket are spot on. You have to be like smoke, like a ninja. She's obviously fishing for attention and validation from you because she feels bad.
Don't be so serious and don't be so quick to engage her. Be playful and non-committal. I can assure you that as soon as she feels she's "got" you, she'll drop your arse faster than you can say "WTF".

 

[DonJuanabe]

When women don't know something they speculate, and that speculation feeds their curiosity and drives them crazy (or crazier). You become a drug to them. If you easily give them what they want you are no longer a drug and they don't crave you. You should not give 100% accurate information. You disguise the information in a way that makes them want more of it.

Her "You have girlfriend..."
You "Can't text right now busy fondling breasts."

Her "You have girlfriend..."
You "You forgot the s"

Her "You have girlfriend..."
You <no response which leaves her in turmoil>

 

[Young Juan]

You care too much. You playing not to lose when you should be playing to win. Give it your best shot and laugh it off if it doesn't work. If it doesn't work, it doesn't necessarily mean you did anything wrong either. Every b!tch is replaceable.

 

[big weezy]

What Harry said.

She was calling to reassure herself that you still like her, to feed her massive ego. Once that knowledge is gained, they can go back to treating you like crap again because their curiosity and need for attention are satisfied.

The ONLY way to discipline a woman is through removal of attention.

Aso, never, ever take what she says seriously. It's good to learn to "agree & amplify to show her you don't give a sh!t (and btw, you will also be showing yourself that you don't give a sh!t, cause you need to learn that).

Her: girlfriend comment

You: You know how it is, so many I've gotta beat 'em off with a stick...

You must always keep a women guessing. Don't think it's being cruel. They love it and it keeps them in their place, even if the verbally complain. What they say means zero.

Ahh yeah this is what it was.. Damn. I guessed the first part right ie she's speculating because I waasnt feeding her attention crave by answering her calls. I should have not directly answered her text about being with a girlfriend is why I couldn't talk she's just fishing for info. Something playful and vague not directly answering the question would have been best.

But I'm slowly removing my attention. She told me she won't kiss me in our exchange 2 days ago by text and she acted like an uninterested girl so I'm removing my attention. I just could have done it in a better way. I won't contact her anymore unless she contacts me first and even then it'll be slow responses no questions or suggestions to meet.

Is by my saying 'no I don't have a girlfriend.' Fed her attention crave? She is foreign doesn't speak english that well

 

[big weezy]

....so, once again, we have an example of why I like to say, "texting KILLS relationships." I'm finishing up a free ebook on this subject for others to read, but here's a preview: one of the reasons texting sucks is due to the miscommunication that can take place.

That text she sent you could be read a number of different ways. And that's the problem: you don't know what she was talking about or what she was trying to find out. Even the way she phrased it sounds like a special need's child trying to put a sentence together. So, your response to it isn't going to sound good because you don't really know what thought of hers you're responding to in the first place!

Aside from the texting thing, though, she really has you by the balls. She calls you twice and don't pick up, and now you're afraid she's going to trash your number?? WTF! You don't have to pick up the phone every single time she calls you - if anything, you should be showing her you have a life outside of her by NOT always picking up the phone and just explaining later on why you didn't answer. And even THAT should be your choice if u want to tell her or not!

If a girl's going to get rid of your number over something like that, it just means she was looking for an excuse to dump you anyway and needed a reason she could use to justify it. I ignore girls' phone calls all the time - heck, some days i have "no phone days" where i don't answer anyone's calls - and i'm still able to keep girls around.

Lastly, people on here gave u great advice, and most said "don't text back." And u ended up texting her back anyway. Why ask for advice if you're not even considering taking it??

Because I only trust advice from you guys with extra green squares in their profile. But seeing as I didn't get any advice from anyone with extra green by the time I went to sleep I had to make a decision to do something.

 

[big weezy]

....so, once again, we have an example of why I like to say, "texting KILLS relationships." I'm finishing up a free ebook on this subject for others to read, but here's a preview: one of the reasons texting sucks is due to the miscommunication that can take place.

That text she sent you could be read a number of different ways. And that's the problem: you don't know what she was talking about or what she was trying to find out. Even the way she phrased it sounds like a special need's child trying to put a sentence together. So, your response to it isn't going to sound good because you don't really know what thought of hers you're responding to in the first place!

Aside from the texting thing, though, she really has you by the balls. She calls you twice and don't pick up, and now you're afraid she's going to trash your number?? WTF! You don't have to pick up the phone every single time she calls you - if anything, you should be showing her you have a life outside of her by NOT always picking up the phone and just explaining later on why you didn't answer. And even THAT should be your choice if u want to tell her or not!

If a girl's going to get rid of your number over something like that, it just means she was looking for an excuse to dump you anyway and needed a reason she could use to justify it. I ignore girls' phone calls all the time - heck, some days i have "no phone days" where i don't answer anyone's calls - and i'm still able to keep girls around.

Lastly, people on here gave u great advice, and most said "don't text back." And u ended up texting her back anyway. Why ask for advice if you're not even considering taking it??

ok IF she calls me again which is a big IF, im likely to not take the call and duck it again as i really dont know how im suppose to be on the phone.. i know she just wants to see if she still has me so i can either just ignore the call again and decide whether i want to return it later or not. but if i do take the call or call back should i just be indifferent, busy and show no interest whatsoever and cut the call short?

the reason i text is at least gives me time to think about what to say/do next.. on the phone i'm likely to panic and make a mistake in real time.