She avoided me

[theapprentice]

Well last week there was this girl that was waiting at the bus stop and we talked and we laughed and we had some good conversation. I got her number, it was sort of in a AFC'ish way, I was scared but I kept face and I got it. I told her I would call her.

I got busy over the weekend, I got her number on wed, I got busy and I couldnt call her on the weekend.

I see her monday on the bus stop and I see her and walk over to say hi and I say "Hi remember me!" with a nice smile. She kind of looked my way and just nodded and proceeded to just wait next to the sign for a few seconds and just get on to the bus. She was just standing and I said Hi, and her body language told me to "get lost" and it was wierd since we talked alot the last time.

I felt bad for a while, and I really dont care about what her reasons where, a rejection is a rejection. I erased her number, I dont need it anymore I guess.

ITs just that rejection is so hard for me to take, it actaully hurts inside, that you tried your best at talking to a girl, and she snubs you down. It takes a while before you bring your confidence back up. Everytime you get rejected its like a rollercoaster ride that you never asked to be on.

How well do you guys take rejection? I take it pretty hard. I mean I try to reason it out, and I have gotten much better, I havent thought about it at all except to write this post. Yet at the time it still makes you feel bad and I dont like feeling bad, I would rather get rejected and not feel anything at all.

I gues feeling bad is a part of rejection right?

 

[theapprentice]

hi

well does anyone feel hurt after being rejected?

 

[penkitten]

sure everyone can agree being rejected sucks butt.
not everyone is going to be attracted to everyone else, so we grin and bear it and move pass times like these.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

sure everyone can agree being rejected sucks butt.
not everyone is going to be attracted to everyone else, so we grin and bear it and move pass times like these.

YEP what she said, but you need to get out there more and experience more rejection, so that it doesn't hurt as bad.

I would have questioned her about her standoffish attitude, but in a non-threatening way. There is nothing wrong with re-gaming a girl.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

I got snappish the first time a girl rejected me. I asked for her number and she was standing there saying um um um trying to think of a way to say LJBF's, and I just told her "hey it's a yes or no answer, make up your mind."

Damn that was scary back then.

 

[theapprentice]

time

I'm guessing after time it stops to hurt as much, and not be as scary. Does that mean you get used to getting rejected or that the hurt involved, just goesa away after you approach enough?

 

[Chosen1]

I'm guessing after time it stops to hurt as much, and not be as scary. Does that mean you get used to getting rejected or that the hurt involved, just goesa away after you approach enough?

yeah i got rejected a lot and it doesn't bother me anymore i use to lay up and night and think about girls but then i said they are not worrying about me as much as i am them i'll give you a very stupid example that i'm mad about right now this morning my sister ate some leftover that i didn't get to taste does she care no if she had known i didn't get any she still wouldn't care women are like that sometimes you just got go and make your own meal

 

[Lifeforce]

She probably felt rejected seeing you and knowing you did not call so she rejected you in defense. Don't wait too long to call her. She'll forget you if you wait too long and she doesn't want to meet you again.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Why do you guys have a problem with calling a girl the same day you meet her? I use to blindly follow the so-called "rules," but there aren't any rules.

 

[skip2mylou781]

Why do you guys have a problem with calling a girl the same day you meet her? I use to blindly follow the so-called "rules," but there aren't any rules.

i agree with u 100% -

no matter when u call, wat turns girls off is HOW u talk to them aka boring, needy or w/e

but if u call and sound like a ****in cool guy, it wont matter when u call.

ive called girls 4 days after gettin their #, and ive also called girls 1 hour after gettin their # (got # at the club, called her in an hour after she dropped her friends off and we ended up hookin up that nite cuz we met up later)

see, it DOESNT MATTER when u call as long as u kno how to talk on the phone

 

[Vulpine]

Perspective: change yours.

I never get rejected anymore. Instead, a woman fails to recognize what/who she was dealing with. And, since I have a diabolical poker face, I can't blame her.

I "show low" to weed out the superficials. It's like carrying a concealed weapon; people will act the fool until you show them the heater.

Women are the same way. I know the cards in my hand, I feel the lump of steel under my arm, but women don't have any clue. So, they get silly and try to play a losing game.

"She" loses, not me.

 

[theapprentice]

response

If you call her and dont use a time frame, that puts a lot of pressure on you for you to be cool.

agree with u 100% -

no matter when u call, wat turns girls off is HOW u talk to them aka boring, needy or w/e

but if u call and sound like a ****in cool guy, it wont matter when u call.

If you are depsperate, which I will become, then girls can sense that and thats a big turnoff. Calling a girl and then putting pressure on yourself to act cool or be cool when she picks up the phone will only deteriorate your game. Unless you FEEL that you are naturally cool, I would think that I should call on my own time and thats after a few days. But if a girl happens to show lots of interest then I dont see the harm in calling soon, but if its just a regular approach then, I would think waiting a few days would help build attraction.

Perspective: change yours.

I never get rejected anymore. Instead, a woman fails to recognize what/who she was dealing with. And, since I have a diabolical poker face, I can't blame her.

I "show low" to weed out the superficials. It's like carrying a concealed weapon; people will act the fool until you show them the heater.

Women are the same way. I know the cards in my hand, I feel the lump of steel under my arm, but women don't have any clue. So, they get silly and try to play a losing game.

"She" loses, not me.

Are you saying that you wait and see which chick will take your bait of showing low and then you whip out your charm or get interested in the women that bite. If for example you talk to ten chicks and only one chick shoes interest you then begin to show her a side of you that she never got to see, the humor and confidence.

But doesnt that make it hard to get HB's since the Hot girls will just not see anything of value instantly and just leave and not bite.

yeah i got rejected a lot and it doesn't bother me anymore i use to lay up and night and think about girls but then i said they are not worrying about me as much as i am them i'll give you a very stupid example that i'm mad about right now this morning my sister ate some leftover that i didn't get to taste does she care no if she had known i didn't get any she still wouldn't care women are like that sometimes you just got go and make your own meal

That is very true chosen1. I only recently started understanding this that people wont care about other people's feelings or thoughts. People especially girls dont make any decisions and base them on what a guy will think or feel like unless she really cares for him, otherwise its always going to be her first. That goes for guys or girls. You start to feel stupid after a while when you care about stay up all night thinking about rejection when she couldnt care less about you. You realize that the people who will care about you deserve your attention and those who dont, you shouldnt be wasting your time thinking about them in the first place.

My take on rejection is that a person with a shaky self esteem has a harder time bearing it than a person who naturally doesnt care. I am a senative, shy, and caring person. If I had my way I would be nice to all the girls and treat them with respect but only if I got the respect back and the same level of concern and intrest. Too bad that these day's nice guys and people who are shy dont get very far unless they go against their nature, which I have to do. I dont really enjoy approaching girls at all, since I know that im only going to be met with hostility and unless I have all the DJ qualites/Jerk qualites I'll just get shot down. Rejection is painfull because in our hearts we actually care about the outcome of the interaction we have, since we arent secure in our skills as a DJ. We know that if this girl shuts us down, that there may be many fish in the sea, but we made a special attempt to talk to her and we got snubbed. I think only after you stop taking it personally and just consider it a routine mill of the day thing that you can be free of the fear of rejection. The problem is that getting to that point, its a painful process. rejection only stops to matter after we get rejected enough and realize "What the hell am I worried about"