Sharing 25 Years of Dating Wisdom

CornbreadFed

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https://www.sosuave.com/articles/25years.htm#:~:text=So%20I'd%20like%20to%20share%20some%20of%20my%20observations%20in

I stumbled upon this gold mine randomly, and I wanted to highlight a few points to illustrate how much the Red Pill Movement has led men away from solid dating advice. None of these points suggest that all women are evil, that you should hide in a closet for 15 years "developing yourself," or that the world is ending.

3) Over the long run, the periods that men are without a partner and frustrated are generally happier than being stuck in a relationship which has lost its luster.

I fully agree with the notion that if you're ever feeling frustrated about being single and find yourself triggered by seeing other couples, it's important to remember that bad relationships do exist. That guy you see might be stuck in a relationship where he’s essentially a slave to a difficult partner.

4) Women generally do the selecting in the earliest phases of a relationship. Once a woman has committed herself emotionally, the balance of power shifts to the man (assuming he has some degree of self-confidence).

Understanding this concept is crucial: the early stages of dating aren't particularly fun for most men because they don’t hold much power. However, with perseverance and common sense, you can eventually find yourself on the winning side of the relationship. Many men make the mistake of committing to women who don’t truly commit their emotions to them, which often leads to the toxic, failed relationships and marriages we hear about from friends and online.

((5) Contrary to the myth that "looks don't matter" to women, physical attraction may be the primary and key deciding factor for a woman. However, it is difficult to determine just what will be physically attractive to any particular female. Even though men also value looks, they are far more willing to initially compromise on looks in the pursuit of sex.

6) If a woman is initially physically attracted to a man, there is very little he can do wrong on a first date.

7) If a woman is not initially physically attracted to a man, there is very little he can do right on a first date.)


As I’ve often said, while there might be a "magical skeleton key" for men, it certainly doesn’t exist for women. Women face greater risks when it comes to dating, so their sexual preferences come with more stringent entry requirements. With the exception of promiscuous women, most have an ideal type of man in mind who they would readily be intimate with, while others might require more effort. Outside of these categories, a woman might find "on paper" an attractive man unattractive and reject him regardless of his looks, money, status, or other factors.

9) Just like there are many men who are simply *******s, the same goes for women. If a woman is rude or inconsiderate in the first few dates, move on immediately -- it will not get better with time.

33) Most reasonable, normal women will make it clear if they are attracted to you or not very early on. Period. If you have difficulty reading a woman's motives, or find yourself dwelling on what she meant by something she said, or you can't seem to pin down a date, then move on immediately.


Stop wasting your time chasing women with low interest or trying to interpret subtle signs of interest. When a woman is truly interested in you, she will make it clear—she’ll throw you the easiest opportunities, miss obvious cues to maintain the conversation, and stay in her feminine energy. A simple "yes" to a date, followed by a flake due to a “friend’s birthday,” is not a sign of high interest. Also, don’t mistake quick sex for high interest; it could mean something else entirely.

10) Any strange psychological problems, drug problems or baggage... move on immediately -- it will not get better with time.

21) Sex is generally overrated. The amount of effort expended in obtaining it vs. the payoff is absurd.

23) After breakups, men usually tend to forget about the sexual boredom and once again find their past girlfriends exciting.

32) Self-confident men desire sex, but don't dwell on it.


I feel like many men aren't properly vetting the women they pursue and are instead chasing after any lead they can get. Women, on the other hand, are very good at vetting men, even for the smallest details, while men seem more desperate for women to date, not just for sex. At the end of the day, it’s just sex, and the true test of your experience with women will be your ability to reject it in favor of a better opportunity or to protect your own self-respect.

Finally, only losers and fools go back to an ex-girlfriend. The situation is over, and now she holds all the power because you’ve essentially surrendered. Men often let sexual frustration cloud their judgment, leading them to ignore all the negatives in the relationship and find a reason to go back.

24) If a woman has not gained some form of emotional stability by the time she is her mid-twenties, then it is too late. Move on immediately.

Women are groomed from an earlier age and are generally expected by society to have their lives together sooner than men. Additionally, when a woman makes mistakes in life, the consequences are often more severe than those faced by her male counterparts. If you meet a woman who’s still struggling in her 30s, she’s essentially telling you that she ignored all the opportunities life gave her and chose to end up where she is.


There is obviously more to his post, but I didn't want to post a complete wall of text. Feel free to post your favorite points too.
 

SW15

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Good find. It is unknown how long ago that article was posted but it seems to have a long shelf life. I'll post some more good points from it in a moment, but wanted to comment on one of yours first. I'll bold points from the article and unbold my comments.

7) If a woman is not initially physically attracted to a man, there is very little he can do right on a first date.)
I generally agree with this. However, this point was rather contentious in the past in seduction communities.

The seduction/PUA communities of the late 1990s-2000s generally argued this one. Mystery, Neil Strauss, and others were basing efforts around seducing primarily from personality tactics.

I've said many times on this forum that attraction/seduction is some combination of looks, money, status, and personality. While personality matters, it matters less than looks and money.

Neil Strauss did an incredibly good job on personality, given that he is a 5'6" man and was balding (later fully shaved his head). There are some other examples out there, but Neil Strauss is the best known example of having strong seduction results without the type of look that would appeal to most women.

The wording of this is "first date". In many cases, PUAs aren't trying to have "first dates". They are trying to get same night sex from initial approaches at bars. The last sentence was likely more common in the 2000s than from the mid-2010s and beyond. From the mid-2010s and beyond, there were more "first dates" that were swipe app arranged as compared to the in-person approach from some chance encounter in a nightlife venue.

12) The vast majority of men get rejected much more often than they seal the deal. If you are rejected you are simply shooting par.

The rejections can be very difficult. While some level of rejection is expected, too much rejection can be psychologically damaging. I think there are many men that give up due to having too many failed first dates from swipe apps/social media DMs, too much ghosting/flaking from swipe apps/social media DMs, and too much rejection from in-person approaching.

16) Humans are generally not very good at monogamy. Most men in long-term relationships cheat to varying degrees, and a great number of women do as well. It's simply a matter of biology. If you discover that your significant other had an affair, the best course of action may sometimes be to take the high road and let it go.

I don't think humans are very good at monogamy without cultural enforcement. In the past, larger percentages of Western cultures practiced some Christian denomination faith where pair bonding via marriage in a church was enforced. Extramarital sex was highly frowned upon in that setting.

In Western cultures, the Sexual Revolution that started in the 1960s and became more established in the 1970s-1980s changed the sexual marketplace. While many Western cultures followed the USA, the comments I'm about to offer are going to be more from my observations of USA culture.

In recent decades, women have closed the gap with men in terms of infidelity/unfaithfulness. Rates of male unfaithfulness used to be far higher but now women are nearly as unfaithful in monogamous relationships as men are.

The men who tend to struggle with monogamy are alpha/sigma type men with options. There are some beta males in longer term relationships who don't struggle too much with monogamy because they don't have options in the sexual marketplace. The betas might only be in their current LTRs due to a social circle introduction or they "dumpster dived" a little bit to get a match. It's generally a smaller percentage of men who have options when they get into LTRs/marriages.

In the post Sexual Revolution unregulated sexual marketplace, women have far more options. Women aren't as motivated by sexual variety as men and they don't have as much testosterone to pursue sexual variety either. However, women have far more options on average than men. It's very difficult to say no to the other options constantly for decades when they are so abundant. If a woman loses "the feelz" in her current relationship, it won't be difficult for her to find someone new sexually based on her abundance. If she's 35+, she might have a more difficult time getting a new committed relationship, but it won't be difficult for her to find sex.

I don't agree with the idea of "taking the high road and letting it go" when a woman is unfaithful in a monogamous relationship. I also don't think open relationship structures are generally better than monogamous structures either.

17) Never, never, never be afraid to approach a female. To reiterate: they all have the same body parts, and they are all composed of Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and trace elements. There isn't a single woman on Earth who is "above" you, no matter what her affectations and social pretenses.

Good advice. More men would benefit from this mindset.

18) Women tend to be far more pragmatic about relationships than men.


Agree

22) If a woman in a relationship begins to lose interest, it is usually impossible to regain it. The feelings you are having of confusion and fear mean something... trust your gut and move on immediately.

I've seen this idea in practice in threads on this forum.
 

Solomon

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5) Contrary to the myth that "looks don't matter" to women, physical attraction may be the primary and key deciding factor for a woman. However, it is difficult to determine just what will be physically attractive to any particular female. Even though men also value looks, they are far more willing to initially compromise on looks in the pursuit of sex.

^^This is so true. My weight has fluctuated a lot in the last decade. I've had women give me the "Eeww get away from me" look to having women whisper to their girlfriends "This guy is handsome you should approach him". The fastest way to get better looking or quality women is through improving your physique we already know the reasons why so need to beat a dead horse

9) Just like there are many men who are simply *******s, the same goes for women. If a woman is rude or inconsiderate in the first few dates, move on immediately -- it will not get better with time.

I've seen so many guys in my life, put up with poor behavior from a woman because she is "hawt" Recently a guy I know who is in his early 30s a millionaire dealing with a young 20-something crazy woman disrespectful woman. Instead of cutting her off he proposed to her!

I have noticed the prettier a girl is the more you tend to deal with her B.S. but it's never worth it and seldom works out. Nowadays if I'm on a date I look for this behavior. There are a lot of insufferable entitled women who no matter how pretty they are, just are a drag to be around.

This is why it's important as a man to understand that looks with women(meaning you desiring a beautiful girl) aren't everything, who wants to be with a woman who is vapid, insufferable and nags you all the time? if you are a logical man eventually a woman like this will become ugly to you and you will do everything in your power to stop spending time with her or even in my experience sabotage the relationship!

21) Sex is generally overrated. The amount of effort expended in obtaining it vs. the payoff is absurd.

In my youth I would have questioned this man's sexuality saying this, but as you get older and your T levels drop some and you also gain wisdom this is true. I prefer to have stimulating conversations and an emotional connection before having sex. Sure random Sex is fun but it's much more fun when you know a woman is invested in you and willing to go above and beyond to please you. The older you get you become more aware of how much time passed and value your time. more. The energy to get some poon even though it's easier to get in 2024 than 2004 for me is not worth it. I'm 40 I do not go to nightclubs or bars every weekend chasing poon, to me at my age it's a waste of time for a man in his 20's some may consider it a rite of passage

28) Avoid women with addictions, particularly the big three: nicotine, alcohol, and born-again Christianity.
Agree with the first two and disagree with the last one, the biggest Redpill hypocrisy is telling women they should be chaste, and aspire to be housewives. Isn't that part of what Christianity teaches that women should be chaste and be good wives? Yet Redpill at the same time preaches men to pump and dump women. You can't complain about a problem and than be the cause of it. It reminds of these Red pill guru's on youtube crying about *****s yet some of them get exposed for dealing with the same ***** they complain about

Hypocrisy!!!

Overall
 

CornbreadFed

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16) Humans are generally not very good at monogamy. Most men in long-term relationships cheat to varying degrees, and a great number of women do as well. It's simply a matter of biology. If you discover that your significant other had an affair, the best course of action may sometimes be to take the high road and let it go.
I think it is a two-way street with this point. Average men want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed and women want a Jesus/Tarzan/Tupac/Cristian Grey hybrid that won't ever cheat on them and keep the spark plugs running constantly while they offer nothing equivalent to that man. These sides refuse to compromise their interests and choose to take risks. I agree that women have their problems, but men have their problems too. Instead of taking advice and developing themselves organically, they would rather take the fast penny stock route and play the hope strategy with club sloots, chasing fickle minded sloots that gave them some peach a few times and pulled back, low hanging fruit on OLD, and passport bro to gold diggers and prostitutes in the developing countries. Yes, they might up their lay count and confidence temporarily, but they stagnate experience wisdom wise and never develop past an apprentice. Like @Jesse Pinkman mentioned in his recent topic, these guys do not have what it takes to even date the feminine Christian women they falsely idolize on the internet.
 

SW15

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I think it is a two-way street with this point. Average men want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed and women want a Jesus/Tarzan/Tupac/Cristian Grey hybrid that won't ever cheat on them and keep the spark plugs running constantly while they offer nothing equivalent to that man. These sides refuse to compromise their interests and choose to take risks. I agree that women have their problems, but men have their problems too.
This is accurate.

25) Avoid women with a large number of pets or women who pay unusual amounts of attention to their pets.

I'm not sure when this article was written. Pet ownership has become a big deal for women since the late 2000s/early 2010s. I started to notice this in early 2010s when I moved to a new city and started dating. When I graduated college in 2005, moved to a new city, and started dating then, pet ownership seemed way less common.

There are a lot of statistics that have emerged since the early 2010s about Millennials being the most pet crazed generation in recorded history. So many city dwelling Millennial women have pets. There are plenty of dog owning Millennials out there. Plenty of now 30s/early 40s Millennials women have cats and many Millennial women got their first cat before they turned 30. It's become more difficult to find White women in the Millennial generation who aren't pet owners. Many Millennial men have had to make concessions about dating women in pets in order to date Millennial women.

Even if a woman (typically a Millennial) only has one pet, chances are that they pay a lot of attention to it and it's a big part of their lives. There are plenty of unmarried women who own 2+ dogs or 2+ cats.

The advice is generally sound but somewhat difficult to follow in the 2010s-2020s.
 

DJ Novice

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Women use pets as surrogate children/boyfriends. You will always come second. My ex wife is a pet mum so I speak from experience.

Avoid pet mums like the plague or use for recreational purposes only.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Women use pets as surrogate children/boyfriends. You will always come second.
I do the same.
If my shoulder cat doesn't like a woman, she doesn't stand a chance of ending up in my lair.
 

Manure Spherian

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the best course of action may sometimes be to take the high road and let it go.
Hahaha! More “women now are a bunch of out-of-control retards and have the sexual market in a stranglehold so you’re just gonna have to accept being punked buddy boyo.”
 

SW15

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More “women now are a bunch of out-of-control retards and have the sexual market in a stranglehold so you’re just gonna have to accept being punked buddy boyo.”
I agree. There would be no way that I would accept cuckoldry. However, more and more men seem to be accepting cuckoldry. These are not the types of men who would participate in forums like SoSuave or watch Myron/Rollo videos on YouTube.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I agree. There would be no way that I would accept cuckoldry. However, more and more men seem to be accepting cuckoldry. These are not the types of men who would participate in forums like SoSuave or watch Myron/Rollo videos on YouTube.
And that is fine.
One good side effect of that is how you don't even have to be hugely masculine to stand out from the crowd of drooling orbiters.
 
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