There are a couple rules I keep when I interact with women:
1) Don't mention the words "Relationship", "Date", "Ex"
2) Don't be blunt. Being blunt does not raise a woman's curiousity. You WANT her to be curious about you.
3) Use Kino ASAP
Rule number two includes things like stupid pickup lines, and saying things like "Suck my c0ck bytch". The magic is getting her to suck your c0ck without actually telling her to do it. Same with dating a woman: the magic is getting her to go out with you without actually mentioning the word "date".
Rule number three is extremely important. Kino is necessary for any sexual interaction. She needs to be comfortable touching you if she's going to be comfortable with your d1ck in her mouth.
As for how to get her thinking sexually about you (besides using kino), tell her how attractive you are. I do this all the time. Although I may be slightly sarcastic, I confidently follow statements with comments like "...because I'm so damn sexy!" If you keep letting her know that you're sexy, she will agree with you.
Your self-esteem will show up in your personality. If you truly believe you're an attractive male, women will see that you are. Confidence and high self-esteem will go a long way with attracting women. So if you currently thing that you're ugly, you need to quit the self-pity-party, and start telling yourself how damn great you are. Think about all your best qualities, tell yourself how fvcking fantastic you are for all that you've accomplished, all the hardships you've made it through, and you'll not only start feeling fantastic, but women will think you're fantastic as well!