Sexuality and the younger man.

[KarmaSutra]

I recieved this PM from a brother who will remain unnamed:

I discovered that the most popular guy in my grade talks about sex and gets horny alot. And I think the horny guys are the ones who are comfortable with women. Pook said that a great man demonstrates his own sexuality and controls it.

How do you demonstrate your sexuality? How do you control it? One thing that I did yesterday was talking about sex in english class after reading shakespear. It turns out to be that a girl that I was flirting with got a mad looking face and after school I met her; she said I was a jerk and rubbed her body against me. So I thought to myself I should do this more often! This works really well. But you said that you should never say a word about it? Why? If not, how do you demonstrate your sexuality through character?[/

I said to never talk obscenely about sex. Don't say things like: "want to suck my c0ck? or Wanna fvck?"

You should speak of your sexuality as a normal and secure part of who you are as a man. This is what women find absolutely alluring. It's unacceptable to speak to girls as if they were porn slvts. Even though they are sure as hell thinking it they don't want you to call them out on it.

Take your Shakespeare reference; This is the perfect opportunity to throw in your own spin on the Bard and his affinity for feminine sexuality. If you were to say: "You know, Shakespeare wrote The Tempest for a woman who had given him the best orgasm of his life." They would instantly see that you're a guy who is absolutely in touch with your masculinity and embrace sex as natural and perfectly accessable.

Being a complete assh0le by slinging gratuitous sexual references out will only have you jacking off to Jenna Jameson videos.

Understand a little better now Brother?

I pose this question to my fellow Mature Men/Women as to what methods and ideologies you would use to teach a younger man to accept himself and his sexuality as a power center and a positive aspect of his personality.

I am putting this in the general forum for the younger Brothers to ask questions and receive some insight.

 

[Jitterbug]

I train myself to embrace and demonstrate the non-verbal aspects of my sexuality through dancing. Eye contact, touches, connections, frame matching, leading skills, hip movements etc. Guys who are clumsy with women and ashamed of their sexuality cannot lead moves that have a sexual nature, cannot find their hips even if their lives depend on it and are severely inhibited when it comes to expressing themselves through dancing, particularly when they're dancing with the girls they find attractive.

Once I've got the non-verbal part of it under control, the verbal part becomes easy. Talking/flirting is one thing, but when it gets physical and you can't deliver the goods, then you're just full of hot air.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Fantastic!

I'll add that there is a very subversive language with dancing which women have learned to communicate extremely effectively.

Good call!

 

[SilverSonnet]

This is something I have a major problem with, that I cant express my sexuality.
In my own opinion, I feel that everybody sees me as the weak, beta, geeky guy, and I dont know how to show them that I'm not. I attract NO women at all, which disheartens me lots. I know right now, I'm not meant to be focusing on women, and improving my own life, but I'd like to feel that whatever I'm doing IS making a change in my life.

 

[KarmaSutra]

" You gotta crawl before you walk."

Think about this statement for a second and let it sink in.


No man ever began his journey of introspection and self realization with a throng of beauties in tow. Each of them started with rejection upon rejection. They learned how to build themselves into congruent men by falling on thier asses.

It's about baby steps. Find one thing per day to get you closer to the man you envision. Give yourself that chance to learn and dedicate yourself to evolving one day and one step at a time.

It'll add up faster than you can possibly imagine.

 

[Interceptor]

I think it is important to understand that their sexual desire is healthy and natural.

Do not allow yourself to feel SHAME for being sexual, or having sexual thoughts or feelings.


Sex is not bad or dirty.

Women do not hate you for having a sex drive.
Women do not resent you or want to surpress your sexual desire.
Only people who are themselves insecure and controlling want to put those thoughts into you.

And in fact, women NEED you to be IN TOUCH and SECURE with YOUR SELF and YOUR DESIRE so that they can BE WITH YOU.




So men should listen and heed their desires.
But they cannot give in and collapse under the weight of that desire.

In other words, they cannot succumb to the desire of feeling fulfiiled simply through sex.They cannot use sex to fill up the 'void' they may have inside.

It is important to not look sex as something that will inflate their ego either.

It is important to not be ashamed of their desires.
That many women understand the need for sex.
They understand that both men and women have grown up sometimes feeling ashamed for their sexuality and desire.

If a young man can get in alignment with this , he will make great strides in truly coming to know himself, and feeling comfortable in their own skin.



Women's ATTRACTION to you functions mostly from a primal/body level.

They feel sexual attraction for you in their bodies, not their 'minds'

If you are not comfortable with your body,and are not in touch with it, and the deeper parts of your subconscious, you will effectively BLOCK women from connecting sexually to YOU.

If you cannot 'connect' sexually to yourself, women WILL FEEL IT.
Through their bodies.

women are more sensual beings than most men.
They become more 'in tune' with their sensuality at an earlier age.

They look for men who have this same level of sensuality so that they can experience it together with YOU.
Men must acquire a 'taste' for the sensual things in life.
In doing so, they open up a line of communication to women, that they previously did not know existed.

Women will SENSE THIS in YOU....



Since women communicate with their bodies, they are instinctively drawn to men who feel comfortable in their own skin, who feel comfoprtable with their bodies and sexuality, thus, ENABLING that 'sexual communication' to happen...

You communicate to a woman through your body.

She 'reads' you through your body.

This is how she can get a feel for the trust she may have for you.

She does need some sort of trust in you before surrendering herself to you.


And she needs to feel you are comfortable with your body, your sexuality,and hers as well...


Integrate these thoughts.
Meditate on it, and find peace inside, and accept that you are human and have a sexual drive.
Do not deny this part of yourself or deny it to women.


If you knew, truly knew in your heart, that MOST WOMEN do NOT have a truly FULFILLING Sexual life, you would quickly DROP all of your negative beliefs in a heartbeat.


Women want to be fulfilled sexually, and a good woman, whom connects with you on as many levels of intimacy as possible, will DO EVERYTHING SHE CAN to help YOU feel fulfilled and happy too.
She wants to be inspired by you, to feel femenine and fulfilled.
But this can happen when you can feel comfortable sexually with her and yourself.

 

[SilverSonnet]

Amazing post Interceptor, but how do you show/express your sexuality/masculinity?

 

[havoc]

I know a guy who is very upfront with his sexuality and wants... he talks about it constantly, makes every joke into a sex joke, and eventually alienates every woman within three yards of him.

He's very ****y, handsome, and thinks highly of himself. He can draw in attractive women (he also has an English accent), but somewhere within five mins and three days he has either totally offended or alienated his object of conquest. And then he's mystified.

Don't be that guy, for sure. No one could take him seriously -- and though he thought he was being "normal" women eventually viewed him as a clown.

 

[antidonjuan]

"And in fact, women NEED you to be IN TOUCH and SECURE with YOUR SELF and YOUR DESIRE so that they can BE WITH YOU."

How in the world can they read that? They can tell whether I am secure and in touch with myself?

"If you are not comfortable with your body,and are not in touch with it, and the deeper parts of your subconscious, you will effectively BLOCK women from connecting sexually to YOU."

I am comfortable with my own body, but how do I show that?

In terms of body language and eye contact, they can show that I am sexual?
Examples needed

The bigger question arises Interceptor and Karma, how do I communicate with women with my body language? Every guy out there has basically the similar body languages and how can women read it? Can you give me examples of good body communications? How do I show other women that I feel comfortable with my body and in touch with it? I can't just say "I like my body, ladies", I have to show it in some sort, right?

 

[The Deacon]

In terms of sexuality, I find this to be the golden rule (for me).

First rule about fight club: DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.

Display your sexuality with your body language, tonality, and eye contact. The best example of this is to watch Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black. Other honorable mentions include Max Evans in Roswell and Nathan in One Tree Hill. They don't talk about their sexuality, but they're rather masculine and women pick up on that.

 

[Jitterbug]

I know a guy who is very upfront with his sexuality and wants... he talks about it constantly, makes every joke into a sex joke, and eventually alienates every woman within three yards of him.

He's very ****y, handsome, and thinks highly of himself. He can draw in attractive women (he also has an English accent), but somewhere within five mins and three days he has either totally offended or alienated his object of conquest. And then he's mystified.

Don't be that guy, for sure. No one could take him seriously -- and though he thought he was being "normal" women eventually viewed him as a clown.

That's not being upfront with his sexuality. That's just low class behaviour. People who joke a lot about sex are the ones not comfortable with their sexuality (hence covering it up with jokes) and aren't getting any. Besides, constantly talking about it is an unhealthy obsession and that bores people. Be passionate, not obsessive.

 

[KarmaSutra]

In terms of sexuality, I find this to be the golden rule (for me).

First rule about fight club: DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.

Display your sexuality with your body language, tonality, and eye contact. The best example of this is to watch Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black. Other honorable mentions include Max Evans in Roswell and Nathan in One Tree Hill. They don't talk about their sexuality, but they're rather masculine and women pick up on that.

Deacon is 100% correct. We say boatloads more about ourselves when we don't have to open our mouths.

 

[penkitten]

gio doesn't have to tell me what he wants, i can read him like a book.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Must be a helluva book booboo!

 

[Maxtro]

I don't understand the concept of sexuality. Age is pretty much irrelevant, what really matters is experience.

How do you give a woman the feeling that you can show her a good time when you actually don't have a clue?

Can how to express your sexuality be taught or is it something that can only be learned through experince?

 

[KarmaSutra]

Experience does play a good sized role in your maturation process but it's only one avenue to the kingdom.

Another way to walk your path is to do those things which make you uncomfortable. Go outside of your normalcy. This will force you into viewing the world in new perspectives.

Remember too that young girls will not understand their own sexuality until they've garnered some life experience themselves. That takes the pressure off of you.

KARMIC LAW # 6 - Any act of courage will pay you back confidence ten fold and will give you the gift of self appreciation.

 

[Jitterbug]

I don't understand the concept of sexuality. Age is pretty much irrelevant, what really matters is experience.

How do you give a woman the feeling that you can show her a good time when you actually don't have a clue?

Can how to express your sexuality be taught or is it something that can only be learned through experince?

You're thinking about sex. Sexuality is more than just the act of sex itself.

Have you done anything that makes you feel sexy other than having sex?

 

[volkme68]

Confidence, or the projection of it at least, is in my experience the very most attractive thing to a woman. It has been my experience that if I am confident, women assume that I have reason to be confident, that there is a foundation that my mentality is based on.

Think of the most confident person you can think of, the man who you had complete faith in accomplishing his goals. Not ****y, but confidence. Now think of the way he acted, the charecteristics that made you see him as confident.

I am willing to bet that this person made strong eye contact, and didn't look away from someone he was talking to. He probably had a solid handshake. Instead of getting angry when he messed up, mabe he cracked a joke, then fixed it. But I bet he wasn't the kind of person that told people how confident he was.

The point is that it is all body language. If the body language is right, the words don't matter much. "If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, but crows like a rooster, it is probably still a duck" Confidence=masculine sexuality. It doesn't even matter what your confident about, you could just be exuding confidence because you just aced a Physics test(Not the sexyist thing in the world). Women will see the confidence and fill in the sexuality.

 

[Humble Young Man]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=150895

karma, is this how you demonstrate sexuality? I don't know if this jay guy is the real deal, so Receptivity is the determining factor to demonstrating sexuality?

-antidonjuan no longer

 

[KarmaSutra]

Brother Humble,

That is a good thread on the mechanics of attaining masculinity.

But.

Until you decide you want to change and ascend to a higher plane of maturity it's only as good as the font it's typed with.

Congruence with your sexuality is something you are not something you hope for.