GtarPlayr73
Senior Don Juan
Hey all,
Like so many others, discovering sosuave and the DJ way has been nothing short of a revelation for this recovering AFC...
This post is a bit long, but hopefully insightful...
I moved into my current apartment last July. It's a 2-room studio that is integrated into the rear of the house in which my landlady and her 25 year old daughter live in. The three of us got along well right away. The daughter, let's call her Caryn, is really cute, independent, sarcastic, cynical, critical, prickly, not usually affectionate, hard to read. The situation is very informal. It didn't take but a month or two before they invited me into their part of the house, offered me wine, had good get-to-know-each-other convo's, etc. We hit it off well, all three of us. Caryn and i got to know each other, mainly talking in the backyard when she takes her purebred German Shepard out. (The dog is her LIFE and her "child"). We shared attraction vibes, but nothing romantic. Then last Oct., i was over watching a movie with her and i kissed her (something i hesitated doing for a while, considering the situation). She responded favorably and said how she like the way i made my move. Not much longer and we were having sex at my place. She started coming over on her own, staying till 2 or 3 AM, sleeping in my bed. We let each other know we found the other attractive, but there was no romance and she said she just wanted to keep things lite and fun. Her mother knew we were starting to see each other, didn't object, even predicted something would happen between us. Caryn told me her mother liked me right off the bat, thought i was cute, etc.
Being the AFC i was, it didn't take long for me to start getting heavy with her: over every night, giving attention, always available, being nice...yeah, the full treatment. As you can imagine, the sex and make-out sessions steadily dropped off; she stopped coming over. I lost the happy-go-lucky unattached vibe i displayed before i escalated things with her. There were even times when she would ignore me while her sis was over. I knew she knew she had me. She pulled back. I kept the frequent visits up and she behaved aloof. Confusion reigned. Things tapered off to virtually nothing but polite greetings. But we were under the same roof which made things tough.
I visited her once in Jan. and confessed that "she made me melt" whenever i saw her, after initiating some heavy kino. She gamely asked what i was doing. She said she "still had feelings for me, still cared about me". She came over a few times, always briefly, always saying she should go, her dog needed her, etc. I started seeing an older German woman from work from HR, who originally turned me on, but quickly faded. (She showered me with affection and praise). I would spend the weekends with her and we hit it several times each night.
So guess who noticed i wasn't home on the weekends all-of-the-sudden? In front of her mother, Caryn says "You never come over any more." Awkward to reply to that. I truly had Caryn off the main burner. She knew it, sensed it. I replied "good to see you" and left. As i walked around the back to my place, i felt sad that i was dissing her, not drawing near to her. AFC-itis is so powerful. Well, DJ's, guess who came knocking on my door a half hour later? We were between the sheets within 20 minutes. I told her about the German and she said she said it was good that i was dating other women.
One more weekend with the German and then we ended things and then Caryn becomes the main plate again. She visits almost every night. Sex fairly frequently. No make-outs though. Telling. Then the sex drops off (once every two weeks), the visits to me - virtually nil. I visited her once and said that she didn't seem like she desired me and if so, she was free to say so. She buried her face in her hands and sighed as if to say, this vibe again? She insisted that she was attracted to me, but she just isn't "touchy-feely" and doesn't think about sex if she is "busy" or "tired". The girl is more "tired" than any other woman i have ever met. She usually ends my visits by yawning and saying she's tired. I still hear her up an hour later...
So we go out and these times are genuinely good, but she is not romantic or physically affectionate with me. Just enough to keep things beyond friendship. We have sex only 2 or 3 times a month, when she initiates it. If i try, she doesn't usually respond. She'll let me give her backrubs, kiss on her, but then she gets up, claims to be tired, and leaves.
This much is clear to me now: I have been a textbook uber-AFC. She knows she has me, that she is the only plate i've got spinning. I've never turned her down for sex. I thought doing the DJ thing and showing her my male desire would get things going, but i now see that this was uncalled-for. What she needs is to be totally ignored. And i need to be less available and start pursuing other women and letting her know that i am pursuing other women. My question is this: how do i respond when she comes over and calls me "Doll", hugs me, slaps me on the ass, etc.? She teases but doesn't close because she knows that her body is what will keep the attention coming. What is tricky is the fact that we live under the same roof, albeit completely separated spaces. So i have to be friendly and keep things stable. Of course, I want sex with her. She is cute and charming, but she's playing me. Maybe she just is holding back because i'm the tenant, no matter how much we've gotten to know each other. How to handle her and preserve the living situation?
Like so many others, discovering sosuave and the DJ way has been nothing short of a revelation for this recovering AFC...
This post is a bit long, but hopefully insightful...
I moved into my current apartment last July. It's a 2-room studio that is integrated into the rear of the house in which my landlady and her 25 year old daughter live in. The three of us got along well right away. The daughter, let's call her Caryn, is really cute, independent, sarcastic, cynical, critical, prickly, not usually affectionate, hard to read. The situation is very informal. It didn't take but a month or two before they invited me into their part of the house, offered me wine, had good get-to-know-each-other convo's, etc. We hit it off well, all three of us. Caryn and i got to know each other, mainly talking in the backyard when she takes her purebred German Shepard out. (The dog is her LIFE and her "child"). We shared attraction vibes, but nothing romantic. Then last Oct., i was over watching a movie with her and i kissed her (something i hesitated doing for a while, considering the situation). She responded favorably and said how she like the way i made my move. Not much longer and we were having sex at my place. She started coming over on her own, staying till 2 or 3 AM, sleeping in my bed. We let each other know we found the other attractive, but there was no romance and she said she just wanted to keep things lite and fun. Her mother knew we were starting to see each other, didn't object, even predicted something would happen between us. Caryn told me her mother liked me right off the bat, thought i was cute, etc.
Being the AFC i was, it didn't take long for me to start getting heavy with her: over every night, giving attention, always available, being nice...yeah, the full treatment. As you can imagine, the sex and make-out sessions steadily dropped off; she stopped coming over. I lost the happy-go-lucky unattached vibe i displayed before i escalated things with her. There were even times when she would ignore me while her sis was over. I knew she knew she had me. She pulled back. I kept the frequent visits up and she behaved aloof. Confusion reigned. Things tapered off to virtually nothing but polite greetings. But we were under the same roof which made things tough.
I visited her once in Jan. and confessed that "she made me melt" whenever i saw her, after initiating some heavy kino. She gamely asked what i was doing. She said she "still had feelings for me, still cared about me". She came over a few times, always briefly, always saying she should go, her dog needed her, etc. I started seeing an older German woman from work from HR, who originally turned me on, but quickly faded. (She showered me with affection and praise). I would spend the weekends with her and we hit it several times each night.
So guess who noticed i wasn't home on the weekends all-of-the-sudden? In front of her mother, Caryn says "You never come over any more." Awkward to reply to that. I truly had Caryn off the main burner. She knew it, sensed it. I replied "good to see you" and left. As i walked around the back to my place, i felt sad that i was dissing her, not drawing near to her. AFC-itis is so powerful. Well, DJ's, guess who came knocking on my door a half hour later? We were between the sheets within 20 minutes. I told her about the German and she said she said it was good that i was dating other women.
One more weekend with the German and then we ended things and then Caryn becomes the main plate again. She visits almost every night. Sex fairly frequently. No make-outs though. Telling. Then the sex drops off (once every two weeks), the visits to me - virtually nil. I visited her once and said that she didn't seem like she desired me and if so, she was free to say so. She buried her face in her hands and sighed as if to say, this vibe again? She insisted that she was attracted to me, but she just isn't "touchy-feely" and doesn't think about sex if she is "busy" or "tired". The girl is more "tired" than any other woman i have ever met. She usually ends my visits by yawning and saying she's tired. I still hear her up an hour later...
So we go out and these times are genuinely good, but she is not romantic or physically affectionate with me. Just enough to keep things beyond friendship. We have sex only 2 or 3 times a month, when she initiates it. If i try, she doesn't usually respond. She'll let me give her backrubs, kiss on her, but then she gets up, claims to be tired, and leaves.
This much is clear to me now: I have been a textbook uber-AFC. She knows she has me, that she is the only plate i've got spinning. I've never turned her down for sex. I thought doing the DJ thing and showing her my male desire would get things going, but i now see that this was uncalled-for. What she needs is to be totally ignored. And i need to be less available and start pursuing other women and letting her know that i am pursuing other women. My question is this: how do i respond when she comes over and calls me "Doll", hugs me, slaps me on the ass, etc.? She teases but doesn't close because she knows that her body is what will keep the attention coming. What is tricky is the fact that we live under the same roof, albeit completely separated spaces. So i have to be friendly and keep things stable. Of course, I want sex with her. She is cute and charming, but she's playing me. Maybe she just is holding back because i'm the tenant, no matter how much we've gotten to know each other. How to handle her and preserve the living situation?
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) who lives right there. You, on the other hand, seem to want something more. Once you realize this you will know that you have one of two options. A. - Keep having casual sex with her, WITHOUT seeming like you want more. She will be more willing to **** you when you wanna ****, cause she knows that its just casual sex. B. - Let her go, and stop having sex with her cause you know that you want more. Simple as that. 
