Seeing landlady's daughter under the same roof...

[GtarPlayr73]

wayword,

I considered her an AW until i read up on the full definition of an AW. While she displays some AW traits: absent and undemonstrative father, has mostly male friends (i have never seen even one of her female friends)...she does not display the most common ones: she is able to spend time alone, does not club, does not sleep around, is not a flirt, does not wear revealing clothes, is not often horny, and does not draw attention to herself in public. I concluded that she is not a classic AW, but rather is either unable to give herself emotionally to men or, more likely, is just not sold out on me and does not want to destabilize the living situation by getting too involved with her mother's PAYING tenant.

 

[ryannath]

Does not sleep around? You may want to reconsider that man. She slept around with you!

 

[PRMoon]

Haha wow this is too funny!!!
Dead serious on this, no joking. I'm "seeing" my landlords daughter too. We just started hookin up a few weeks ago. I live in the guest house of the property with a japanese room mate. It's a tight little beach house looking thing and It's not to far from las vegas blvd so i can transit quick. I'm always bringing girls back here and one day she ran in after a night of partying and things kinda took off from there.

THe OP is 33 seeing a 25 year old where as I am 26 and the girl i'm seeing is 31...okay maybe that's just funny to me.

This is however where the similarities end. My landlords daughter use to live in a certian mansion in LA where other hot girls stay and is out of control hot. She parties all the time with high rollers and taks me with her. Then f*cks the **** out of me like a woman possesed. She also said if she couldn't give it up to me...then she'd find some b*tch who would.

That's a vegas sucess story baby:rockon:

 

[GtarPlayr73]

I wanted to update you guys on my latest analysis of the situation and ask some questions. I haven't given enough weight to the fact that i AM "the tenant", so my reading of the situation has been somewhat skewed as a result. I think Caryn is very reluctant to move towards anything substantive or consistent because in the end, I am still The Tenant. She doesn’t want any fallout. Caryn wants sex with me, but she wants it very unofficial, just a small thing on the side. This is why she (seemed) happy to hear that I was dating another woman. She doesn’t want to be the main focus. So in her mind, she is constantly, constantly, constantly avoiding any sort of conventional involvement. I have been almost entirely AFC with her to this point. She knows i have behaved like an AFC. She has not witnessed much DJ behavior from me, though i have been more of a DJ LATELY. I must point out that, about a month and a half in, i did get a bit awkward with her, told her maybe we were too different and might work out better as friends. This cooled things for two months, till i resumed kino and told her i still liked and wanted her. So now she's even more cautious and not putting her heart on the line. I think she thinks that if she had sex with me more often, then i would go AFC (like before), become attached, get "heavy", maybe pull back from her, and/or things would get too awkward for the living situation. She did say that her concern is that things don't "get weird" between us. Yes, i do think she bears in mind that i am the tenant and that puts a firm limit on things. Women can maintain such boundaries better than men, it seems.

Questions: Because we live under the same roof, we never plan our little visits. She comes over when she wants and I visit her when i want. We're 20 seconds away from each other. So i never know when to visit and when to wait for her to visit (AFC?) Sometimes, like last night, she'll say "I thought you were coming over last night" in a friendly tone of disappointment. She seems to increase her visits and energy when i increase mine. When i think i am not getting as much as i am giving, i withdraw and then she withdraws. We're cyclic, on for a while, then off. She sets the pace. When do i know when she wants sex? When she comes over? A DJ is sexual, but she never responds when i come on. We only have sex when she initiates. Is she waiting for me to just be more aggressive? Should I wait for her to make all the moves because I am the tenant and, being the tenant, she might feel that things are out of order when the tenant makes the moves (ASD)? I think my experience is clear: when she comes over and gets things rolling, she wants sex. When she comes over and doesn't respond to my advances, but just lies there, she doesn't.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

sounds like you are not happy with the current situation, and sooner or later it will end. Then you will regret not listening to me and banging the mom when you had the chance. Plus it will sort of throw the daughter off balance to say the least. Next time she comes over and is not responsive, go party with her mom... and see what happens.

 

[GtarPlayr73]

I have been a complete AFC fool. Who am i kidding? She doesn't like me for me. I'm a hookup around the corner and a tool to be used for ego-boosting, amusement, and anti-loneliness companionship. Sure we go out to eat. Half the meals are paid for by me, she gets to be seen with an attractive guy, and she's not home, bored and lonely on a Friday night. Why are we kissing, etc if we are not in a relationship? She came home tonight, from the gym, and there wasn't an ounce of REAL desire, affection, or meaning on her disinterested face. I ask her what she's up to and she says "Will walk the dog, take a shower and go to bed". That's when i saw the complete lack of value for me in her eyes. Just the chump coming out to catch her before she goes inside. Things would be so different if i had other "plates spinning", other women to pursue. God, this girl has gotten a luxury ride of ego-boosting pleasure from me. And it's my fault. I made the first move, not her. I knew we should be uninvolved. Keep business, business. Why would you want this confusion, etc under the same roof where you are paying rent? No more kino. No more touching. No more physicality. A hookup can stand on its own, but nothing else is wise or conducive to tension-free living circumstances. Time to get this girl of my focus and move on to pursuing appropriate women.

Any recommendations for what to do when she attempts kisses, hugs, etc.? Do you agree that such actions from her are just to keep the appearance of intimacy up so the sex feels legit? Can i have sex AND not reciprocate her "affections"?

 

[PRMoon]

Dear god man stop overanalysing the situation! If you don't want to keep hooking up with her then stop! I like free *ss, especially the kind that i don't have to leave my house for. Who cares what kind of relationship you too have? If you can hit it then wake up the next day and talk to another hot girl then do it. If she hugs you or whatever just play along with it. You realize that this thing isn't going anywhere so just ride it out.

It's the same with my banging my landlords daughter (only I'd bet money mine is way hotter) where I know i'm in it for the sex and to hell what she thinks about it. The sex is good and she's right there! What else is there to discuss?

 

[wayword]

It's the same with my banging my landlords daughter (only I'd bet money mine is way hotter) where I know i'm in it for the sex and to hell what she thinks about it. The sex is good and she's right there! What else is there to discuss?

The funny thing is how much gender roles have reversed now and women are totally emotionally detached from sex...yet guys are twittering away emotionally obsessing and attaching themselves to it.

And YES, she is an AW. Because she only flirts with you for attention and fux you for validation at her convenience. THAT's the bottomline - everything else is just common symptoms that many may often (but not always) share.

PRMoon - a PB bunny f-buddy? You are DA MAN! :rockon:

 

[GtarPlayr73]

OK, PRMoon, you're right. I let my old chump mentality get the best of me. I've known all along that she and i aren't the real deal. If i haven't been able to go with the flow and take the action as it comes, it's because i have been looking to her for validation as well. Yes, wayword, she is an AW. I have not seen her for who she really is. I have made her to be what i want her to be. AFC's are also male AW's by default. Like her, i want attention. Like her, i want someone convenient to go out with on a Friday night. Like her, i want to be validated as well. Is this really a true relationship built on strength, love, and appreciation, or is it just two people taking advantage of a convenient situation? Yeah, it's the latter. Man, i don't know how i let myself fall for oneitus with her. I've been making her out to be more than she is. It's all psychological, really. I am chasing after what i think i can't have and she knows it. I guess my pride wants her to regard me as more than she does. I care too much what this girl thinks of me. Part of it is also my religious upbringing which brainwashed me into thinking that sex must always point to something more, demanding commitment, etc. It's amazing how long the after-affects of those beliefs can last! And when she puts out the signals like touching, hugging, kissing (not making-out), a$$ slapping, laying legs across my lap, it kinda gets into my head that these are signs of affection, not just attraction. "Oh, we must be in a relationship. She must be really into me". Then when we go out, joke around, etc., i buy into what my mind and senses tell me, and i start to expect more from her emotionally. She then frustrates those expectations. Part of her AW nature. I expect her to want to commit more of herself and her time with me.

If i am honest with myself, i realize that i don't have strong feelings for her either, just attraction, infatuation. She doesn't blow me away. Maybe i feel obligated, again from my upbringing, to give her more because we have slept with each other. Maybe i feel i owe her something. Maybe i feel that it's selfish to sleep with her and then go about my life without the "relationship dressing". A lot of residual effects from my conservative past. Also, if i am honest, i will admit that i don't want hang-outs all that much. I do like her, but we don't have smashing chemistry. We have rapport, but not chemistry and there it is. I just want the hookup, but she wants it less than i do. Or...will she want it more often once she sees i am no longer acting like an AFC? Something tells me she will.

I've put so much stock into this one woman. Enough already. i need to just get honest with myself and remember what i really want and stop making her a source of validation. This budding DJ will move on to finding more of the right women for me...

 

[PigAdlemPimp]

Do you expect to receive an AlphaMale Medallion or a Certificate In Don Juan-ism for your fvcking this girl.

 

[GtarPlayr73]

What, am i coming off as arrogant in this thread? Not my intention, but OK, a re-read of my last post and i see how i could be interpretted as such. Nope. No medals or certs for me yet. And the girl doesn't owe me anything. I've just gotten carried away analyzing and predicting her behavior. I tend to do a lot of guessing and it gets me nowhere at best. Going forward, I'll expect nothing and take whatever she may happen to surprise me with...