Seeing a girl after she cancels your date

[Epic Days]

However, if I had a gf I certainly would not want her to be acting like that and would be very hurt if she was going out of her way to encourage a man and have sex with him.

I found this interesting. Would you mind if I started a thread using this statement as a theme on men's morality vs. women's and how the feminine Imperative prearranges this?

 

[Robert28]

Wait until she tries to hit you up to buy some personal training sessions with her. She won’t date you but she won’t mind hitting you up for $$$.

There’s a hot PT at my gym that’s always bothering me about how I need to workout with her. I’m thinking “yeah right *****, I want to do some bs workout I see those old women with the chicken wing flabby arms rolling around on the ground and never touch a free weight”. Those are her clients, old fat ass women. If I wanted to workout with rubber bands and lay on a mat I’d do it, damn sure not gonna pay HER to do it though.

 

[SH03C]

When you share a social environment with a woman, avoiding her in person just to send her a random small talk text later on isn't just nervousness though. It's legit insecurity/creepy behavior.

You can look at it another way. If he couldn't handle that tension, how can he handle her in a relationship?

Women look at little cues that may lead up to big things. A grown man simply can't be afraid of tension to the point where he plays hide and seek and text her like a girl. It's borderline 15 year old high school behavior. It may seem little to us, but for a woman it really sticks out.

This is quite in accurate regarding my circumstance. Sure, I did see her at the gym Wednesday WHILE she was giving a new client a walkthrough and I sitting on the bench ready to hit another set. By the time I finished my workout she was gone for the night.

I the didn’t text her that same day but rather the next night. If I have the balls to ask her out in person I’m sure I can interact in person too.

 

[SH03C]

If you were going to text her, the best time would have been Wednesday. Something like "hey wanted to say hi but you were busy". This text at least would have made sense because you guys made eye contact. I mean if you had to text her just to keep some incremental courtship going, it was good timing.

The Thursday text was uunnecessary.

In hindsight I do agree, the Thursday text was pointless and the Wednesday text you mentioned would have been more tactful.

All in all I believe she flaked and not necessarily due to another guy.

If you wouldn’t mind, what do you recommend: I never responded to her text on Saturday when she cancelled, saw her today while working out and she appeared to give a slight smile while walking by. Do I text her now and tell her it’s cool or just leave it be?

 

[SH03C]

If you want to practice saving a set you might as well go the confident persistence route.

You can say something like "well I guess we are just going to have to keep it a secret from him "

True story I once got rejected 5 times by the same woman in my social circle. But I never cared each time. I finally slept with her the 6th time I tried. You don't have to acknowledge her reality. But this is next level frame game.

Don't give a fvck/ confident persistence has to be your identity. You can't pretend.

Good take. It’s also my belief that sometimes not acknowledging negs can maintain a level of interest.

This is certainly practice for me as I’m just now beginning to re-enter the dating scene again. I’ll continue to focus on other plates and potentially re-engage in a few weeks.

As well, I’m always interested in gathering feedback so feel free to fire away guys

 

[sangheilios]

I found this interesting. Would you mind if I started a thread using this statement as a theme on men's morality vs. women's and how the feminine Imperative prearranges this?

Go for it

 

[SH03C]

If you want to practice saving a set you might as well go the confident persistence route.

You can say something like "well I guess we are just going to have to keep it a secret from him "

True story I once got rejected 5 times by the same woman in my social circle. But I never cared each time. I finally slept with her the 6th time I tried. You don't have to acknowledge her reality. But this is next level frame game.

Don't give a fvck/ confident persistence has to be your identity. You can't pretend.

Interesting update. I was on Tinder just now and her profile popped up. What she had mentioned about there being another guy appears to be a fib.

Call it nuts but how should this change my approach?

 

[Epic Days]

Actually I think it’s a good idea. Give it a shot. Accuse her of her boyfriend not allowing her to have other friends or something. That will polarize her rather quickly Lol

 

[Robert28]

You have any hot girl friends? Bring one to workout with you sometimes. You’d be surprised how many times I’ve gotten cold women interested all of a sudden just be being SEEN with another girl.

 

[SH03C]

Actually I think it’s a good idea. Give it a shot. Accuse her of her boyfriend not allowing her to have other friends or something. That will polarize her rather quickly Lol

I was thinking something more subtle? Lol

 

[greatsnake]

Move on, she sees you as an option. Hang out with the chick that wants to see you, get to know you, Fux you etc.

 

[SH03C]

I captioned this failure in large font because I agree: it IS nuts.

Oneitis is UGLY to women. Worse than bad breath, unemployment, small d1ck...combined (well maybe not combined but your "change in approach" mentality is a tinge creepy in my opinion.

Truth. I know better but impulse is my downfall here.

Wait a few weeks then feel it out?

 

[SH03C]

Yes.

Go ghost for 2 weeks: no gym, no text, no calls, no facebook.

2 weeks (June 4th) text this: "Hi there just thinking about you are you having a good day?"

If she responds: "Nice to hear that I have been gine thanks. Will you meet me for a drink this THURS at 8 at (specific place)?"

Yes.

Go ghost for 2 weeks: no gym, no text, no calls, no facebook.

2 weeks (June 4th) text this: "Hi there just thinking about you are you having a good day?"

If she responds: "Nice to hear that I have been gine thanks. Will you meet me for a drink this THURS at 8 at (specific place)?"

Thanks for the tips!

 

[devilkingx2]

I recently asked out of the personal trainers at my gym last week. Long story short, we exchanged numbers and she appeared to be genuinely interested in going out however I feel I may have given her too much attention prior to the date and she pulled out.

Timeline: I asked her out in person on Monday, she said sure and put her number in my phone.

Tuesday: I texted her and asked about the weekend, she said she wasn’t able to do Saturday but asked if my Sunday was open. Appeared to be interested in making plans here.

Wednesday: Saw her at the gym, make eye contact from afar however didn’t approach her.

Thursday: Sent her a text asking how her day was, she replied back a few hours later. Got the vibe that she wasn’t into the small talk.

Friday: Didn’t see her, no contact.

Saturday: Saw her at the gym, made eye contact. Approached her at the end of my session. Made casual conversation asking her how her Friday night was, said I was looking forward to a cheat meal the next day, which was also our planned date. Short interaction here. 10 minutes after leaving the gym she sent me a text saying “Hey Matt I’m really sorry but I’ve actually been seeing someone and it’s starting to get a little more serious so unfortunately I think I should cancel. I’m sorry! “..,. I didn’t respond.

—- So today i’ll be seeing her at the gym later. Should I make eye contact? Should I not acknowledge her? How would you handle?

Lastly, do you believe she just lost interest or could her reasoning for cancelling be truthful?

To clarify, this girl is a personal trainer and a 10/10.. I haven’t been on a date in about 4 years but so naturally I expected some bumps along the way..

Bull**** excuses = ignore her unless she goes out of her way to talk to you.

Talk to anyone you want including any girls around her but leave her alone unless she comes to you

 

[SH03C]

@oldmanofthesea I’m curious to know if you might have any tips for re-engaging this missed opportunity. In hindsight I believe an awkward text might have set it off in the wrong direction.

Last contact was Saturday, she sent me a text cancelling our date to which I didn’t reply. Saw her at the gym on Monday and last night but didn’t make any attempts to engage.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

She said she is seeing someone which may or may not be true. But the problem now is she backed you into a corner with that statement. If you ask her out now, you are effectively calling her a slvt to her face, since she knows you know she is seeing someone.

You made a few mistakes with her. She is at the same gym as you. The latter is not a deal breaker but it knocks her viability down a notch or two because you'll have to see her all the time and that will be a bit awkward if you push her for a date under the current circumstances.

My advice: You are doing well enough meeting other women and in OLD that you should just focus on continuing that effort. Forget the gym girl. When you see her, always smile and wave or nod, but do it in a confident "knowing" way, as if you know she wants you. Don't go out of your way to walk by her. If she approaches you and initiates, then you can ask her out again but I wouldn't make any attempt to try to solicit her doing that. I wouldn't even ask her out if she approached me unless she was really putting out the flirty vibes.