Secrets from a Drunk Girl

[Waive]

Well my drunk girl cousin has admitted what we all should know. Girls like jerks. She told me that whenever a guy started acting nice towards her and told her how much he like her it always creeped her out to the extreme. It was always obvious to her the guy wanted to get in her pants. However whenever a guy acted like a jerk towards her it always attracted her towards him and made her want to find out more about him. She's been with her current boyfriend for almost 6 years and they've been living together for about 4 years. The guy has shown himself to be insensitive, selfish, and all around self centered on multiple occasions. And yet she loves him more than life itself.

You hear about stuff like this all the time but somehow its more real hearing it from an actual human being rather than some randomass article. Its just made me think that most of the stuff posted on this website is based on real life experience and it is both important and necessary to ponder the truth behind everyone's words.

 

[foreverAFC]

awesome.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Awesome? Nah, pathetic. Not denying it, just calling it what it really is.

 

[betheman]

why is it pathetic? its nothing new of course but women, countless numbers of them, stay with abusers...! this obviously defies logic, why would you stay with an abuser?
treat em mean, keep em keen, it works or at least has some value.
how mamny abusers get cheated on? not as many as nice guys Im certain. even abusers have higher value than nice guys

 

[DonJuanabe]

Of course it's nothing new, but that doesn't make it less (or not) pathetic.

 

[bigneil]

Well my drunk girl cousin has admitted what we all should know. Girls like jerks. She told me that whenever a guy started acting nice towards her and told her how much he like her it always creeped her out to the extreme.

Exactly. This is almost paraphrasing was the 20 year old said last week, who was actually straight at the time, but people said you can't believe a stripper. But they don't always want abusers. Something is wrong then.

I think the moment you are holding her versus she is holding you, the polarity of male/female reverses and it repels her.

We feel the same way. Ever date Clingy Girl? Or have a cat that stalks you? It feels like trying to hold two magnets together which are opposing.

If you slip up and tell her you love her or do something extra nice, it's ok (provided you had sex), but you MUST go into NC mode until she contacts you again and asks you out. Not just a thank you note. It can take up to 2 weeks. Longer than that and it's safe to say she's moving on. That dynamic actually builds attraction because of the push/pull extremes. She'll think "He was just saying that!"

 

[flashpoint]

here is a quote from the book "Sexpectations" (interviews lots of women about their taste in lovers and love):

Being obvious is not attractive at all. to be overly bragging is a turn off. guys need to be smooth and suave and have a sharp wit.

What does “suave” mean to you?
men who are suave don’t have that hesitant young boy type of thing. they are like casanova. they just say things that turn you on.

So a boy is going to be fishing around for things to say and a suave guy knows what to do? At the same time, a suave guy is kind of manipulative, is that correct?
Yea, but it’s ok to be manipulative. i am manipulative.
i don’t want to have to teach some young guy how to be sexy or how to please me. i don’t want someone to fumble around. i like guys who are aggressive.

it is really no big news that girls like jerks, or chicks like dominant men. also that women see men pretty alike, they think (and sometimes hope) all men want is to have sex with them. no matter whether it is the "nice guy" or the jerk. the only difference they can make out is that "nice guys" just do not know how to get what they want, and that makes them appear weak. it is simply a turnoff. maybe these expectations are wrong (because that is not all guys are after), but they are there and they define what is happening and what is not.

crucial part: real jerk behaviour doesnt try to accomplish anything. it just is what it is. and where even an experienced DJ or whatever might still try to kissclose this and fockclose that, the jerk doesnt give a sh!t. pussay is not all there is on this planet and even if so, he would expect to get it anyways. that is why he acts so careless and gets his way most of the time.

 

[zekko]

To a certain extent, a man needs to be self centered. He needs to take care of himself first and make sure he is in a good position before he can take care of others. He has to be a source of strength. He can't do that if he is placing a woman above himself.

I also agree a man should be dominant and aggressive. He is the one who makes things happen. But all that is not being a jerk, that is being masculine.

Women who are attracted to actual jerks are trash. The fact the the OP refers to his source as his "drunk girl" cousin supports this. And need I get started on bigneil's stripper?

 

[flashpoint]

ya well i don't want to get into this bigneil thing either. i can see what her (the ex-strippers) point was though and it is pretty much my experience too. the less you (have to) try the more she will chase you, and say you are "a jerk" or an "a$$hole" because you dont go after her pussay but just assume that she will give it to you anyways.

now here, i'd say if it was a perfect world, we would see chicks fall only for the real men, the good ones that have all the male qualities without being an actual a$$hole. but lets not kid ourselves, of course they will always fall for it, whether a good man is behind the appearance or a real bad boy. it just makes them tingle all over and in their special place and they usually wont be able to help it. if it was a rational choice then ya but it is not and attraction is not a choice anyways. the fact that the girl was drunk is not detrimental to her credibility, rather the opposite. in vino veritas.

although women are also able to learn, and if they have been there often enough and done that, they will know what is what and make better choices despite their feelings and urges. but denying that this sort of behaviour and attitude triggers lots of emotions and thus attraction, would be a mistake in my eyes.

 

[zekko]

She told me that whenever a guy started acting nice towards her and told her how much he like her it always creeped her out to the extreme. It was always obvious to her the guy wanted to get in her pants.

This is what I find amusing. Women are sexual creatures.
Here she complains that the "nice guy" wants to get into her pants.
Yet if you go up to her and tell her that you want to get into her pants, she will most likely give you a pass lol.

Maybe you get some points for your honesty, or for not being afraid of showing your intent. But more likely it's just a case of "if you're attractive, it's hot, if you're not attractive, it's creepy".

 

[SoSuave666]

Women like alphas. They don't appreciate beta men pretending to be alpha with this facade of over-confidence, feigned control, and generally forced bravado. If it is your tendency to be standoffish, be as such. If you are more inclined to be happy-go-lucky, continue to do so. Women want a man to be himself overall. The problem is men have forgotten how to be men. Our roles are so reversed that men these days aren't providing the way they should. They aren't loving the way they should. They aren't caring the way they should. No man is the same as another, so applying a cookie cutter methodology for how to attract women is a waste of time. Being an a$$hole is too encompassing. Be yourself, but be yourself like a man.

Overt communication is never going to get you to the epicenter of a woman's feelings. You have to show you care instead of telling her. You can't wear your emotions on your sleeve, lest you be taken advantage of. Don't show things too early. The sooner you fall, the harder it is to stand back up. Have backup plans, ambitions, goals, friends, the like. In this way you stave off the oneitis that infects so many.

I'll say it again: women care only about how you make them feel about THEMSELVES, not how you make them feel about YOU. To turn them on you have to ride the thin line of indifference/love. Ups and downs run a woman's life. Spontaneity is key. Right when she thinks you are in love with her beyond thick and thin, it's ok to disappear. When she thinks you're the biggest a$$hole on the planet, give her a little bit to let her know you're somewhat decent...sometimes. When she isn't expecting it, take her body in the most ravashing form. Always, always lay the pipe. Never be too nice or too giving in bed. It's good to turn her on, but fvcking is the man's job, not the woman's. She is your slave in the sheets, and never treat her as anything more.

 

[zekko]

Women want a man to be himself overall. The problem is men have forgotten how to be men.

I agree with this completely. I find women are attracted to my natural personality, I just have to remember that I am a man and behave accordingly.

These days, the more feminized and emasculated men have become, the more they buy into this "jerk" myth and try to behave like @ssholes just so they can show some glimmer of masculinity. Pretty sad if you ask me.

 

[Waive]

I should have mentioned that the whole time she was saying "jerk" she really meant dominant. The fact is she's one of the those girls who feels a constant , ridiculous need to **** test people. What makes her boyfriend a "jerk" is the fact that he's not constantly caving in to her demands.

So to clarify guys what she was really saying was he was dominant in the most roundabout way possible. I'm sure most of you read and understood this but I don't want to be responsible for some chump misinterpreting the message and beating his wife.

Once again: when women say they like "jerks" or "bad boys" what they're really saying is the like strong, dominant men who don't put up with any of their ****.

And remember its never ok to hit a girl unless you're spanking her

 

[Dominance]

The problem with all this stuff (and yes I made the mistake myself several years ago) is that especially guys who have always been a nice guy read this and start being a massive ****head, upset people, talk crap and do all kinds of stupid stuff.

I know going through that I definately got girls, but they were crazy ones.

It's kind of hard to find the balance, I don't know if I have completely but i've improved majorly.

 

[Leporello]

One of my best friends is a girl who always dates dorky, awkward guys who are totally spineless and don't have a clue how to please her in bed.

She ALWAYS dates these guys because she's convinced herself that's what she wants...but she still pines for the random musclehead dimwit who fvcked her silly a few years ago. She just can't figure it out.

 

[VladPatton]

What a rip-roarin thread!

I agree you need to be a man, stand up for your preferences, and keep the order in a relationship. Basically if you don't like something, speak the phuck up, correct it, and call it a day. Keep you emotions in check, and exercise your masculinity with a certain amount of care for others in your life that vary in order of importance. Your mom gets a gentler you, the annoying client gets a more assertive you. You need to gauge your emotional output, no one is on an equal level.

I also agree with the varying posts that crazy attracts crazy.

To sum up this whole hodgepodge: grow a pair and carry on. Be a masculine version of yourself. Phuck the media, and phuck this doghouse shyt. You pay 3 grand a month in mortgage costs and YOU sleep on the couch? I don't think so, Oprah. If you don't set boundaries, your female will, because, someone has to.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Women like alphas. They don't appreciate beta men pretending to be alpha with this facade of over-confidence, feigned control, and generally forced bravado. If it is your tendency to be standoffish, be as such. If you are more inclined to be happy-go-lucky, continue to do so. Women want a man to be himself overall. The problem is men have forgotten how to be men. Our roles are so reversed that men these days aren't providing the way they should. They aren't loving the way they should. They aren't caring the way they should. No man is the same as another, so applying a cookie cutter methodology for how to attract women is a waste of time. Being an a$$hole is too encompassing. Be yourself, but be yourself like a man.

Overt communication is never going to get you to the epicenter of a woman's feelings. You have to show you care instead of telling her. You can't wear your emotions on your sleeve, lest you be taken advantage of. Don't show things too early. The sooner you fall, the harder it is to stand back up. Have backup plans, ambitions, goals, friends, the like. In this way you stave off the oneitis that infects so many.

I'll say it again: women care only about how you make them feel about THEMSELVES, not how you make them feel about YOU. To turn them on you have to ride the thin line of indifference/love. Ups and downs run a woman's life. Spontaneity is key. Right when she thinks you are in love with her beyond thick and thin, it's ok to disappear. When she thinks you're the biggest a$$hole on the planet, give her a little bit to let her know you're somewhat decent...sometimes. When she isn't expecting it, take her body in the most ravashing form. Always, always lay the pipe. Never be too nice or too giving in bed. It's good to turn her on, but fvcking is the man's job, not the woman's. She is your slave in the sheets, and never treat her as anything more.

Excellent post. +1 for you.

"If it is your tendency to be standoffish, be as such." LOL, are you channeling Pook? Love the phrasing...

 

[Atom Smasher]

To a certain extent, a man needs to be self centered. He needs to take care of himself first and make sure he is in a good position before he can take care of others. He has to be a source of strength. He can't do that if he is placing a woman above himself.

I also agree a man should be dominant and aggressive. He is the one who makes things happen. But all that is not being a jerk, that is being masculine.

Women who are attracted to actual jerks are trash. The fact the the OP refers to his source as his "drunk girl" cousin supports this. And need I get started on bigneil's stripper?

Zekko, you're on a roll lately with great posts. Apparently I've got to spread a little love around before I rep you, but your stuff has been very insightful and valuable these days.

 

[bigneil]

I'll say it again: women care only about how you make them feel about THEMSELVES, not how you make them feel about YOU. To turn them on you have to ride the thin line of indifference/love. Ups and downs run a woman's life. Spontaneity is key. Right when she thinks you are in love with her beyond thick and thin, it's ok to disappear. When she thinks you're the biggest a$$hole on the planet, give her a little bit to let her know you're somewhat decent...sometimes. When she isn't expecting it, take her body in the most ravashing form. Always, always lay the pipe. Never be too nice or too giving in bed. It's good to turn her on, but fvcking is the man's job, not the woman's. She is your slave in the sheets, and never treat her as anything more.

This is true, but what turns one woman on turns another woman off.

I've had at least 10 things I can name where one girl specifically requested something and another girl specifically said NOT to do that. I have two pairs of shoes and two girls I date who like me. If I were to swap pairs of shoes, both girls would dump me.

If you are too aggressive with a girl who likes it gentle, it doesn't matter if you are dominant, or vice-versa, she won't like it.

The key is to "Know what she likes" - you get that by getting her to confess in the wee hours.

 

[SoSuave666]

Excellent post. +1 for you.

"If it is your tendency to be standoffish, be as such." LOL, are you channeling Pook? Love the phrasing...

My inner pook arises from time to time.

The jist I suppose is that the term "being a man" is now becoming synonomous with the word "a$$hole" in a woman's mind. The definition of a$$hole for a man and woman is different. When a guy meets a real a$$hole, he hates him and wants to kick his a$$. When a girl meets a real a$$hole, she hates him and wants to kick his a$$. When a guy meets a real man, a respect level is established. When a woman meets what she classifies as an "a$$hole" (real man), she seeps vagina juice all over the floor in an uncontrollable exorcist-like display.

Be yourself guys, but stick to the certain principles that make being a man what it used to mean, but in today's terms classifies you as an a$$. Don't separate yourselves from your principles...for anything.