Rules Of Going Out

[jamesfromhouston]

Hi gents.

I've been reflecting a lot about my own experiences of going out over the past 6 months and honestly, I've had some bad dates and bland outings that feel like a massive waste of time. And I realized as much as the RP community often advocates spinning plates and meeting girls, it should be done in a more nuanced way. More emphasis should be given on how valuable time is and how we should safeguard it. I recently wrote a few of rules for myself in terms of going out and plating, thought I would share:

1) Time is precious. Time is valuable. Time can be better spent on other things like my hobbies, developing myself and also advancing my career.

2) If I am going to give other people my time, those people must be worth it. The same goes for activities that consume time such as partying or drinking.

3) They will be worth it if they bring value to my life. If time spent with them makes me feel good afterwards or brings some form of positivity to my life. If I look back and feel good and those people/activities bring good unforgettable memories, they are most likely worth it.

4) When it comes to new plates, they must be at least an 8. And they should display high IL. The plates must result in something valuable to me like closing, complementing my life or bring entertainment value. I am not there to monkey dance for people. I am the prize. My time is precious. First meet should always be somewhere with low time and cost investment. If the new plate is bossy, demanding, conditional or generally fem-nazi, hard pass. Always be ready to bounce after 1 drink if they are not attractive. If I like them, the first meet should result in kclose. If kclose is rejected, hard pass.

5) When it comes to spending time on old plates. They should have high IL already. They should show high compliance and complement my life. They should be open to closing, sexual compliance and add value to my life, not extracting value from me. They cannot be pushing for something serious (unless I permit it) or bring drama to my life. If they transpire to be a fem-nazi, hard pass.

6) It's better to save time than to waste time and realize many people are there to waste my time or lead me on. Most plates want attention and resources, be careful of that and give carefully.

7) Spending time by myself is not a bad thing. It's the default state and I should get used to it because my valuable time should only be reserved for myself. Time spent on hobbies, even if frivolous, is better than time spent on someone else not worth it. Time spent developing myself is the best usage of time.

_

Again these are just my rules. But I'd be curious to hear about yours!

 

[CornbreadFed]

You are in Houston, so learn to be picky about the women you choose to invest any time on! Crazy women in Houston are a dime a dozen.

 

[Bingo-Player]

You just need to get better at screening

Last year after a break up I went through a period of going on dates with whoever fancied one , 4 hinge dates later I was ready to turn homosexual they were that bad

Some girls are single for very very good reason , men generally Are pretty easy going but a lot of women are far from easy going hence the term " high maintenance "

I am not saying theres anything wrong with a woman wanting and demanding the best but when you are a female thats objectively a 6/10 heading towards 30 and have very little in the way of a traditional feminine personality its a very very big ask for a man to want to invest any serious amount of time into you

I can see the characteristics of these women now in fact I can almost sense it within their energy from the second they open their mouths , I can hear the expectation in their tone and I am outta there

Women past 30 complain theres no good men left but often they are displaying more red flags than a Chinese new year

 

[SW15]

You are in Houston, so learn to be picky about the women you choose to invest any time on! Crazy women in Houston are a dime a dozen.

It's still a better overall mating environment than Dallas or Austin in the same state.

Observations on Dallas' Scene

Based on @Jesse Pinkman's write ups of New York City, Miami, and large state universities, I thought it would be worthwhile to write up Dallas, the city I call home. The Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area (DFW) is the 4th most populated metropolitan area in the United States. Dallas and Fort...

www.sosuave.net

Women past 30 complain theres no good men left but often they are displaying more red flags than a Chinese new year

This is true.

You just need to get better at screening

This is a common problem for men.

1) Time is precious. Time is valuable. Time can be better spent on other things like my hobbies, developing myself and also advancing my career.

2) If I am going to give other people my time, those people must be worth it. The same goes for activities that consume time such as partying or drinking.

3) They will be worth it if they bring value to my life. If time spent with them makes me feel good afterwards or brings some form of positivity to my life. If I look back and feel good and those people/activities bring good unforgettable memories, they are most likely worth it.

4) When it comes to new plates, they must be at least an 8. And they should display high IL. The plates must result in something valuable to me like closing, complementing my life or bring entertainment value. I am not there to monkey dance for people. I am the prize. My time is precious. First meet should always be somewhere with low time and cost investment. If the new plate is bossy, demanding, conditional or generally fem-nazi, hard pass. Always be ready to bounce after 1 drink if they are not attractive. If I like them, the first meet should result in kclose. If kclose is rejected, hard pass.

5) When it comes to spending time on old plates. They should have high IL already. They should show high compliance and complement my life. They should be open to closing, sexual compliance and add value to my life, not extracting value from me. They cannot be pushing for something serious (unless I permit it) or bring drama to my life. If they transpire to be a fem-nazi, hard pass.

6) It's better to save time than to waste time and realize many people are there to waste my time or lead me on. Most plates want attention and resources, be careful of that and give carefully.

7) Spending time by myself is not a bad thing. It's the default state and I should get used to it because my valuable time should only be reserved for myself. Time spent on hobbies, even if frivolous, is better than time spent on someone else not worth it. Time spent developing myself is the best usage of time.

All 7 are quite good. A man needs an abundance mindset to put #4 into practice in his life. Most men don't have an abundance mentality but rather have a scarcity mentality.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

You just need to get better at screening

Last year after a break up I went through a period of going on dates with whoever fancied one , 4 hinge dates later I was ready to turn homosexual they were that bad

Some girls are single for very very good reason , men generally Are pretty easy going but a lot of women are far from easy going hence the term " high maintenance "

I am not saying theres anything wrong with a woman wanting and demanding the best but when you are a female thats objectively a 6/10 heading towards 30 and have very little in the way of a traditional feminine personality its a very very big ask for a man to want to invest any serious amount of time into you

I can see the characteristics of these women now in fact I can almost sense it within their energy from the second they open their mouths , I can hear the expectation in their tone and I am outta there

Women past 30 complain theres no good men left but often they are displaying more red flags than a Chinese new year

That is so true. I have met so many entitled women over the past half a year.

They always try to make dating conditional. Just recently, I met a girl on OLD. She proceeds to tell me how she thinks I'm "unreal" like I was a catfish. I took it as a compliment. Then I tell her, let's find out over drinks. She then responds if it's just drinks, forget it. She obviously expects dinner. I just ghosted her. I barely know the girl as if I will invest in dinner.

Just yesterday, I asked out a girl who had been dropping very obvious hints that she was into me. It was supposed to be our first date. She suddenly asked me if she could bring her girl friend because they were having dinner beforehand. I said no, and left it at that because either low IL from the +1 but maybe she really wanted to involve her friend. But no way in hell, am I going to entertain her friend on our first date.

I also remember one first date a month back with a 7. She proposed we have dinner on the first date. I said no, only drinks at a cool bar in town. She said fine. Then literally as I was on the way to our date, she tells me she hadn't had dinner yet so she was going to eat first and I should meet her at the restaurant nearby our date to accompany her while she ate. In my mind, I was thinking no way. I told her nah, since she's eating first I'll get some stuff done. Ended up working in the car but she didn't want to wait so she relented and met me at the bar.

There have been more than a handful of occasions where I've met other girls who expect dinner or others expecting me to do certain things or set weird conditions.

They're all so demanding and honestly, gone are the real feminine, compliant and traditional archetype of a woman. I respect the mutual investment a relationship may be predicated on but ffs if they're just strangers, it's ridiculous to expect anything; especially when they have not even provided anything of value in return.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

You just described EXACTLY what I have been dealing with. Going to the bar to get a drink on first date isnt good enough for these women. They want a dinner which is ridiculous. We dont even know if we are gonna get along with them in person. I am not hurting for money but to waste 100 dollars on a dinner each time you take out a new date is crazy. These women should want to get less on a first date and not more especially when we are going through insane inflation prices right now. If you dont agree to dinner then they all say that you only wanna smash them. Its weird times we are living in.

A girl expecting/requiring an expensive dinner on the first date without contributing anything/proving herself, on the sole basis she thinks she is hot;

is almost the same as:

Me expecting/requiring a bl0wj0b from a girl on the first date without saying a word/spending time, by the sole fact that I may think I am hot. Just suck me off because I'm hot.

Some feminist talk about the equality of the sexes; yet women today are behaving so unequally and unfairly. It's stupid.

Once again I am no hater of women, but sometimes these behaviours just irritate deeply.

 

[manfrombelow]

Well,

No fancy dinners on 1st dates is a MUST.

Normally I'd take the chick out for a walk in the park, if the walk is fun and engaging enough, I'd be happy to buy her some light snacks (burgers, hotdogs, whatever...) and drinks (I mean soda and ice tea). Or it would be a bowling date night or any kind of fun activity that the both of us can enjoy together.

Mind you again: I'd pay for the snacks, the gas, the bowling tickets. That's already a lot. All she brought to the date was only herself and a good attitude. She doesn't have to worry about anything money-wise, all she needs to do is not being b!tchy, be positive, be happy, be relaxed, and be femine, I'd take care of all the expenses.

But fancy dinners? Fvck that Disney piece of woke sh!t! A total stranger is not worthy of my time and mental energy enough to expect me to pay and spend time with her in such a costly (both in terms of money and time) and awkward activity like that. If she's my wife or LTR then no problems, but a fvcking 1s date? Please, gimme a fvcking break on that!

 

[SW15]

No fancy dinners on 1st dates is a MUST.

fancy dinners? Fvck that Disney piece of woke sh!t! A total stranger is not worthy of my time and mental energy enough to expect me to pay and spend time with her in such a costly (both in terms of money and time) and awkward activity like that. If she's my wife or LTR then no problems, but a fvcking 1s date? Please, gimme a fvcking break on that!

I'll agree with no fancy dinners. Manosphere/pickup content has long promoted no dinner dates in restaurants for 1st dates and dates prior to sex.

Plenty of men are still doing dinner dates in restaurants in the early stages. This is likely happening due to ignorance or laziness.

I first heard about no dinner dates in restaurants prior to sex in the early 2010s. That wisdom had been around many years prior to my discovery of it. I think it was discussed in the 2000s online.

You make a good point about total strangers. If the 1st-2nd dates are arranged from a tech-method or approaching a stranger, then a 1st-2nd date dinner in a restaurant is a bad idea. It might be acceptable if the date is arranged from a strong social circle introduction.

Most men on a forum like SoSuave are arranged their first dates from a tech-based method (swipe apps or social media DMs) or from approaching strangers in the real world. The last sentence is also applicable to blue pilled, beta males too. Fewer people arrange dates from their social circles anymore.

 

[Solomon]

That is so true. I have met so many entitled women over the past half a year.

They always try to make dating conditional. Just recently, I met a girl on OLD. She proceeds to tell me how she thinks I'm "unreal" like I was a catfish. I took it as a compliment. Then I tell her, let's find out over drinks. She then responds if it's just drinks, forget it. She obviously expects dinner. I just ghosted her. I barely know the girl as if I will invest in dinner.

Just yesterday, I asked out a girl who had been dropping very obvious hints that she was into me. It was supposed to be our first date. She suddenly asked me if she could bring her girl friend because they were having dinner beforehand. I said no, and left it at that because either low IL from the +1 but maybe she really wanted to involve her friend. But no way in hell, am I going to entertain her friend on our first date.

I also remember one first date a month back with a 7. She proposed we have dinner on the first date. I said no, only drinks at a cool bar in town. She said fine. Then literally as I was on the way to our date, she tells me she hadn't had dinner yet so she was going to eat first and I should meet her at the restaurant nearby our date to accompany her while she ate. In my mind, I was thinking no way. I told her nah, since she's eating first I'll get some stuff done. Ended up working in the car but she didn't want to wait so she relented and met me at the bar.

There have been more than a handful of occasions where I've met other girls who expect dinner or others expecting me to do certain things or set weird conditions.

They're all so demanding and honestly, gone are the real feminine, compliant and traditional archetype of a woman. I respect the mutual investment a relationship may be predicated on but ffs if they're just strangers, it's ridiculous to expect anything; especially when they have not even provided anything of value in return.

Sadly this isn't uncommon at all, I truly believe since the 2010's women (even pretty ones) forgot that men are attracted to true feminity I know the forum says never date a woman older than 30 or 40 but at least with SOME older women they know what REAL feminity is.

How many men can say they have had a woman ask them permission to go to the bathroom at a restaurant?
Or Your woman giving you a backrub unsolicited?


This sounds crazy to most guys, but women used to do these things no questions asked!

There's nothing more annoying than a woman who is slightly attractive (6) and yet is entitled thinking she's a 10. 20 years ago a woman who was a 6 was humble and feminine. I've noticed this whole sexual identity movement in the last 10 years has women really acting far more masculine including women that are 7+'s. I mean a whole number that even pretty women are masculine, rude, entitled, socially uncouth etc. I've dated a few Gen-Z women in the last few years and honestly, I feel bad for the young bucks, those women don't get the WO part lol (that's not to say Millennial women are better cause a lot of them have drank the cool aide as well)

Glad to know that I'm not the only one who has observed this change in the field

 

[anonymous12345]

Hi gents.

I've been reflecting a lot about my own experiences of going out over the past 6 months and honestly, I've had some bad dates and bland outings that feel like a massive waste of time. And I realized as much as the RP community often advocates spinning plates and meeting girls, it should be done in a more nuanced way. More emphasis should be given on how valuable time is and how we should safeguard it. I recently wrote a few of rules for myself in terms of going out and plating

You seem to have a large inflow. Where do you source your girls? OLD? Cold approach?

I have a very low intake to my pipeline.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

You seem to have a large inflow. Where do you source your girls? OLD? Cold approach?

I have a very low intake to my pipeline.

I'd say my inflow is alright.

I mainly source my girls from a combination of OLD, social circle, night clubs and travelling.

OLD: I am on all the major OLD apps, so I maximize meeting girls there.

Social Circle: I have several social circles that are into partying and being very sociable in general; usually a lot of girls there.

Night Clubs: Not my favorite source but I've seriously tried to night club game a lot over the past 6 months and I've met some girls from here. Very low tier though.

Travelling: Travelling cannot be overstated. I travel a lot for work and being in different countries and cities; the OLD experience as well as the local social circles accessed through foreign friends, really do bring a lot of short term fun and potential.

I barely cold approach, it has not worked well for me. Perhaps I am just not good at it.

 

[SW15]

Night Clubs: Not my favorite source but I've seriously tried to night club game a lot over the past 6 months and I've met some girls from here. Very low tier though.

I barely cold approach, it has not worked well for me. Perhaps I am just not good at it.

You approach strangers in nightlife venues. That's cold approach.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

You approach strangers in nightlife venues. That's cold approach.

Hi bro. I meant only where it was socially comfortable and conventional to do so. Not so much in the streets, grocery or elsewhere.

In other words club game not day/night game.

 

[BadBoy89]

My rules for going out:

If the girl is between:

18 - 22 - I pay for dinner date easy
23 - 27 - I pay for dinner date but not as easy
28 - 33 - I pay for coffee date
34 - 38 - She pays for coffee date
Over 38 - She pays for a Limo, she pays for expensive dinner date, she pays for a hockey game after (Club Seats), she gives me gift basket at
end of date. If she wants sex; $500,000 wired to my back account first. Once transfer confirmed, then OK.

 

[Ricky]

Take advantage of how friendly women are in Houston. I had a ONS there last summer. Being outgoing and letting them know you are in town for a few days only were the key actually.

you can always act like you are new to a town again. Get womens advice on the best places to go. Act as if you are just visiting

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Doesn’t makes sense, my dude. Cold approaching is the only way to meet anyone when traveling. I travel twice a month

I guess I'm just not good at cold approaching.

When I travel, I swipe on apps to meet local girls that are somewhat interested in me and I meet girls through my foreign friends (I've friends in the places I go for work) and their social circles.

I've yet to really do cold approaching in a foreign city.

 

[SW15]

I meant only where it was socially comfortable and conventional to do so. Not so much in the streets, grocery or elsewhere.

In other words club game not day/night game.

You only approach in nightlife venues (nightclubs, bars, lounges) and don't do non-bar approaching. Non-bar approaching has been the majority of my approaching since the early 2010s.

One of my friends who got married and quit the seduction lifestyle put up a triple digit notch count solely from nightlife venue approaching. His nightlife approaches were mainly bars and not nightclubs with DJs and dance floors.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

You only approach in nightlife venues (nightclubs, bars, lounges) and don't do non-bar approaching. Non-bar approaching has been the majority of my approaching since the early 2010s.

One of my friends who got married and quit the seduction lifestyle put up a triple digit notch count solely from nightlife venue approaching. His nightlife approaches were mainly bars and not nightclubs with DJs and dance floors.

Any personal tips for non-bar approach?

I think my personal gripe with non-bar approach/day game is:

Usually in a day setting, I'm not very attuned to picking up on IL from the girls. And if I approach the girls without considering whether they have any interest and how girls tend to be defensive to strangers theyre not immediately interested in, from the times that I tried, it feels like an uphill battle to qualify myself and escalate things for a number/contact close. Rejection rate is very high for me.

Btw I've not necessarily fared much better in the bar/club setting. I even made a thread about it.

OLD has been the best for me and led to lays.

I would like to improve my cold approach though.

 

[SW15]

I think my personal gripe with non-bar approach/day game is:

Usually in a day setting, I'm not very attuned to picking up on IL from the girls. And if I approach the girls without considering whether they have any interest and how girls tend to be defensive to strangers theyre not immediately interested in, from the times that I tried, it feels like an uphill battle to qualify myself and escalate things for a number/contact close. Rejection rate is very high for me.

This is a common issue in non-bar approaching. The best way around it is to make eye contact and smile at every woman that you find attractive. See who returns the strong eye contact, smiles back at you, and then open her with either a 'hello' or a 'hello + some observation opener'.

In non-bar venues, it's common to deal with women with boyfriends who aren't interested in conversing with a new random man. These women will rarely ever tell you they have a boyfriend. What they will do is not demonstrate interested body language or they will exhibit disinterest in conversation, letting the conversation naturally fizzle out before a date can be arranged. You'll never know for sure if these women have boyfriends, but a large percentage will and won't be seeking new penis.

If you're not careful and select the incorrect venues, you might even be dealing with women with husbands. I tend to do my approaches in areas of my city with high concentrations of unmarried people. In some daygame venues even in unmarried-dense areas, I'll still take a quick glance at a woman's left hand for a wedding ring.

Rejection rates in all non-bar approaching venues are very high. However, rejection rates on swipe apps are also very high. The typical male on a swipe app gets less than 1% of his right swipes resulting in a match. The difference on swipe apps is that the rejection is asynchronous and done behind an electronic screen. That hits a lot differently than going out to a real world venue and not getting any outcomes from effort.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

This is a common issue in non-bar approaching. The best way around it is to make eye contact and smile at every woman that you find attractive. See who returns the strong eye contact, smiles back at you, and then open her with either a 'hello' or a 'hello + some observation opener'.

In non-bar venues, it's common to deal with women with boyfriends who aren't interested in conversing with a new random man. These women will rarely ever tell you they have a boyfriend. What they will do is not demonstrate interested body language or they will exhibit disinterest in conversation, letting the conversation naturally fizzle out before a date can be arranged. You'll never know for sure if these women have boyfriends, but a large percentage will and won't be seeking new penis.

If you're not careful and select the incorrect venues, you might even be dealing with women with husbands. I tend to do my approaches in areas of my city with high concentrations of unmarried people. In some daygame venues even in unmarried-dense areas, I'll still take a quick glance at a woman's left hand for a wedding ring.

Rejection rates in all non-bar approaching venues are very high. However, rejection rates on swipe apps are also very high. The typical male on a swipe app gets less than 1% of his right swipes resulting in a match. The difference on swipe apps is that the rejection is asynchronous and done behind an electronic screen. That hits a lot differently than going out to a real world venue and not getting any outcomes from effort.

This is fantastic. Thanks.