Most guys have been there at some stage including me. So the situation is serious but not hopeless. How old are you? And what was your former profession? Is the living situation with the relative stable? We need a bit more info to work with. You ve got some good and wise people on this thread. We ll support nobody is going to 'should' on you. I would say that one of the benefits of the internet is anonymity. You ll get better results if you're strictly honest with yourself and us.
And remember people can be good. You ve got a bunch of strangers here with nothing to gain giving their time to help you out.
From what I ve read so far the issue sounds like how to provide enough structure and enjoyment of life while you work through some economic and inner issues.
To provide some immediate value I d suggest a couple of things. Men do best in a routine and when they feel useful. Nobody can stop you getting fit (running and bodyweight) or helping people with your time or going to the library and learning something. E.g.
https://www.coursera.org/learn/dog-...utm_source=linkshare&utm_campaign=SAyYsTvLiGQ or starting a doggy blog
Sounds like you're stateside. Why not learn Spanish. From the stats that wave is building and plenty of guys swear by Latinas at least most of them cook!
Is there an animal shelter you could volunteer at?
I know saying volunteer is counter intuitive when you re trying to earn.
What we re trying to do is build routine, a feeling of being useful, focusing on other people instead of your problems and the habit of hard work. E.g. at 5.30 I get up and walk my dog while listening to stoic philosophy or dog training podcasts. Monday is legs day. Tuesday I work at the shelter. At the shelter I m the first in and the last to leave and keen to learn more and do more every week. And later on maybe I can ask my supervisor there for a reference. And you might meet some less self absorbed girls at the animal shelter over time. If you do for god's sake don't fvck them no sh1tting where you eat.
Meditation will definitely help with anxiety and emotional control. But meditation can feel like laziness when you first start. So build it into your routine. It's hard for your bad inner voice to say your being lazy at 6.30 in the morning after you ve been for a run.
Honestly any time I ve been between jobs is the hardest I ve worked in my life. You can't let your days drift. And you want to feel that when you do give yourself a day off it's the reward for all your hard work.
I think the dog walking idea is great. You could staircase that and build up a business over time.
And please consider this is a recovery process. You're going to have good and bad days and days when nothing works. You have to remember it's just a bad day everyone has them. For those days see if the library can get you this book
Amazon.com: Resilience By Design: How to Survive and Thrive in a Complex and Turbulent World: 9781119794936: Weeks, Mike, Snape, Ian: Books
www.amazon.com
Trust the process. Thousands of guys here have pulled themselves back from the brink. You re a smart guy if Joe schlep can do it you can too.
If you have the odd tinder episode no drama. Consenting adults with an itch to scratch. But I really wouldn't put much time into it. Now your time needs to be going into building yourself up. Becoming that happy, positive, disciplined guy who people will want to be round and give opportunities to.
And Tinder's a sugar hit. You don't want to get addicted to that. Women can be a reward or a trap. You choose.
Nobody gets anywhere without learning to delay gratification.
