Rock and a hard place

[zekko]

What's really interesting to me in all this is when women are knowingly competing against one another for a guy, and the guy ends up in a situation similar to what you're in now, they think that by locking this guy down in a relationship will somehow be exactly what the guy wants.

I love this thread, I hope it goes on forever.

I kind of wondering what it is about Z that is really attracting these women, however. There must be some gold at the end of the rainbow for these girls beyond merely wanting to compete with each other. They must see something in him aside from the social proof. What is it?

 

[guru1000]

I love this thread, I hope it goes on forever.

I kind of wondering what it is about Z that is really attracting these women, however. There must be some gold at the end of the rainbow for these girls beyond merely wanting to compete with each other. They must see something in him aside from the social proof. What is it?

That's what happens when a DJ focuses on, and establishes himself in, business in his 20s and 30s. By the time he reaches 40s+, he becomes a force to be reckoned with. It's beyond money; it's the transcendental "seasoning" one acquires to life that very few men can attain.

 

[ZTIME]

Dude based on what you're writing it's not going to get much better than this...except maybe adding another plate and getting her in on the competition too. Either that or a threesome. Nothing beats threesomes.

Another plate may be way too hard to maintain. I may replace or try to replace HB7 as she is a little different then what I'm used to. Yes....Nothing beats a threesome.

 

[ZTIME]

I love this thread, I hope it goes on forever.

I kind of wondering what it is about Z that is really attracting these women, however. There must be some gold at the end of the rainbow for these girls beyond merely wanting to compete with each other. They must see something in him aside from the social proof. What is it?

I'm being as honest as possible.

I've always worked very hard in my professional life. I was lucky in my late 20's to be able to acquire my own business. I never stopped there and have opened several other companies. Some wins some fails, but I still haven't lost the drive.

I'm in good physical condition (still working out daily), and dress well. I take pride in my hygiene. I look about 8-10 years younger than my age.

I think that due to these items I've developed a bit of arrogance, but I'm able to mask it with a bit of sarcasm. I can hold good conversations and have no problem with eye contact.

I guess at the end of the day, when you just feel good about yourself people will tend to notice that you carry yourself differently then others. To women it's a little intimidating (which tends to get them aroused).

Cars, toys, and house are material items which most women I meet don't know what I have, so I don't think that plays too much of a roll in my success.

Even with all of that being said, my greatest asset is my social network. It gives me unlimited opportunities to meet new women. Normally of higher quality.

SS helped me to get back on track as far as not letting women step all over me. That was my biggest problem to deal with and must still remain in check in the future in order to maintain what I've been doing.

 

[zekko]

That's what happens when a DJ focuses on, and establishes himself in, business in his 20s and 30s. By the time he reaches 40s+, he becomes a force to be reckoned with. It's beyond money; it's the transcendental "seasoning" one acquires to life that very few men can attain.

Whaaat!? You mean women actually like successful men - sexually?! I thought ginas only tingled for worthless, felon type ruffians with no good qualities. I thought women only saw successful men as beta providers that they could cuckold while they fvcked the dirtbag guy out in the alley. Amazing.



Anyway, I didn't know Z was one of our resident entrepreneurs. Interesting, and congratulations!

 

[hithard]

Z, what was your objective in spinning plates again?
Was it just banging round or looking for a partner?

 

[ZTIME]

Z, what was your objective in spinning plates again?
Was it just banging round or looking for a partner?

Actually neither. I never really consciously decided to get back into the game (spinning plates). After working out for 5 months and taking care of my personal life I just started going out with my friends and things just became what they are now. Truthfully, there is no desired outcome. I guess just having fun is as good of an outcome as I can hope for at this time.

I’ve always been an LTR guy, with a 14yr, 2.5yr, and 3.5yr group of runs under my belt. I thought I was going to marry the girl I was with for 14 years, but that didn’t work out that way. I think by reading my original thread you’ll find that I was in a pretty bad place when I first found this site AFC, Beta, and the whitest of knights around. It took a little while (5 months) to get my confidence level back to where it needs to be.

This thread here is mainly about my experience with the dating world, and the things that I encounter. Who knows, maybe I’m handling situations with these women completely wrong.

My thoughts about spinning plates are that it can only last for so long with any of them. You’ll constantly be looking to replace one or more based on how quickly they hit the ground. I think that based on their own internal time clock that they will eventually require more maintenance (invested time, emotions, capitol, and more) to keep them around. If you’re unwilling to provide what they believe they need, they’ll just find someone else they believe will make the necessary sacrifice. I’m kind of numb to it right now.

 

[ZTIME]

Leaving the office yesterday HB7 starts text convo.
Her: Hi
Me: Hi
Her: want to meet for a drink tonight?
Me: Can’t, going to class.
Her: For what?
Me: Meditation
Her: LOL! Meditation? You can skip that for me.
Me: No
Her: What time does it end?
Me: 9pm
Her: Meet after?
Me: Sure. I’ll meet you here. (My favorite Bar)
Her: That’s like 20 minutes from my house!
Me: Leave 25 min. early. I hate when people are late.
Her: K

Hadn’t seen HB7 since our beach day 2 Sundays ago, and really didn’t get to know her that much since we were zipping around on 2 different watercraft. Figured it would be a good time to see if the girl with 4 tattoos had any substance. I walk into to the place and she’s sitting at the bar. Hello, hug, sit. Bartender comes over. “Hey ZTIME Your usual?” I reply “Yes, by the way bartender, this is HB7, HB7, this is the bartender.”HB7 says: “yeah, I’ll have a long island” (red flag #1 rude response to bartender.) (red flag #2 long island….slut drink)

Talk for a little while and the conversation shifts to ex’s. My response is always “I don’t talk about ex’s.” She tells me she was in a 4yr relationship which ended 4 months ago. I asked why they broke up and she said he got addicted to pain meds (red flag #3). I asked for how long and she said for 3 years. (red flag #4. Knowingly dated a drug abuser). She said he was very nice and would open her car door and stand up when she excused herself from the table; “you know, he acted like a real man should” I bust out laughing! She asks what’s so funny I reply with “Nothing, you would just think women knew how to open car doors by now”. (red flag #5)

I asked about her parents. Single mom grew up in Georgia. (red flag #6 no dad). Asked about her plans for the future and she honestly says with a straight face: “I want to find a guy who respects me and wants to take care of me”. I think I threw up in my mouth at that point. (red flag #7).

This conversation lasted for about 50min. Even the bartender was rolling her eyes and giggling. At one point HB7 goes to the bathroom and the bartender says “seriously ZTIME she’s not your type”. I respond with “your right, maybe I need to start dating a girl more like you” She says “maybe”…….. Perhaps a conquest for another day??

HB7 comes back, I make tired excuse to leave look at HB7 while grabbing the bill and say “you got this?” She says “you’re kidding right?” I said “I didn’t think so.” She asked if I was going to walk her to her car like a gentleman. I asked what would make her think I was a gentleman.

One number deleted……………….. No more HB7. No great loss.

 

[hithard]

Good lad, you beat me to it.

Was going to post about not getting comfortable in a situation with the plates. But to always keep fluid and moving. As you get more skilled socially, invade their social circle and plate out of there. When I started I would just burn plates that I wasn't interested in. After a while I realized certain ones had good social circles to push into. There is a fine art to flip plates into friends then banging their besties. Generally when plates start to lose interest you can flip them. I usually have a group of guys I know looking for ltr that I can throw them off to and then "oh we are just best friends".
In the case of hb7 above I would have let it burn as well. But something to think about.

I am loving your work and progress at the moment
Just remember every woman is an adventure... a bangable adventure

 

[ZTIME]

Good lad, you beat me to it.

Was going to post about not getting comfortable in a situation with the plates. But to always keep fluid and moving. As you get more skilled socially, invade their social circle and plate out of there. When I started I would just burn plates that I wasn't interested in. After a while I realized certain ones had good social circles to push into. There is a fine art to flip plates into friends then banging their besties. Generally when plates start to lose interest you can flip them. I usually have a group of guys I know looking for ltr that I can throw them off to and then "oh we are just best friends".
In the case of hb7 above I would have let it burn as well. But something to think about.

I am loving your work and progress at the moment
Just remember every woman is an adventure... a bangable adventure

Thanks. I'm trying to maintain frame and not get emotionally attached to any of these random women. It's funny to wake up and realize that the less you care the more girls respond. I see so many threads here about on-line dating and the struggles with picking up women, yet where I'm at there seems to be an endless supply. Truly being happy with yourself and exuding confidence has yielded great results.

Glad you agree on the HB7. I watch for red flags and really don't need to get involved with trash. (although fuvkable trash). I did meet this one attached to my social circle, so there is already a little talk going around about how this one "really likes me". I don't think she's very good at taking a hint.

Tonight's agenda is a fireworks beach party. (great place to meet drunk women in bikinis!), followed up tomorrow evening with a visit from HB8. For all of our SS guys that are struggling with recent break ups....... Life doesn't suck when you get back out there.

Happy Independence day gent's. Enjoy it!

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
― Gautama Buddha

 

[hithard]

I see so many threads here about on-line dating and the struggles with picking up women, yet where I'm at there seems to be an endless supply.

Yeah I'm not into online dating, although I tried it once....

A fair few years ago everyone on SS was raving about it (OLD), so I thought I'd give it a shot. So I create a profile. Have a quick browse and think yuck. Then go out to pick up at the club.

Anyway next day I log back in and "oh look" got a message from some chick. Click on it and it says something along the lines of "Hey good looking want to meet". So I click on her profile and Oh My GOD.
She had a head like 5 miles of bad road; It was so rough you could sand wood with her face. But even nastier was that she had her tits out.
You know those googly eye glasses with the springs and how the eyes droop. Well that's exactly what her tits looked like, they were like beagles ears or something. But that's not even the worse part. One boob was a noticeable (and I $hit you not) 9-12 inches longer than the other. That, for some reason horrified me the most and haunts me to this day.

I remember deleting my profile in stunned silence. I sat there for a long while contemplating what had just transpired and how it would affect me for years to come. That one biatchs picture turned me from a boob man to a leg man in an instant.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Good lad, you beat me to it.

Was going to post about not getting comfortable in a situation with the plates. But to always keep fluid and moving. As you get more skilled socially, invade their social circle and plate out of there. When I started I would just burn plates that I wasn't interested in. After a while I realized certain ones had good social circles to push into. There is a fine art to flip plates into friends then banging their besties. Generally when plates start to lose interest you can flip them. I usually have a group of guys I know looking for ltr that I can throw them off to and then "oh we are just best friends".
In the case of hb7 above I would have let it burn as well. But something to think about.

I am loving your work and progress at the moment
Just remember every woman is an adventure... a bangable adventure

Good points about using her social circles, but on this one I think Z made the right call by ditching her completely. She made it known that she's an entitlement b!tch and wants a man to worship her pu$$y. She likely runs with women who have that same attitude or if they don't, then she's the one filling (aka poisoning) their minds with the trash she believes in.

 

[ZTIME]

Due to the death of my dog, I kind of didn’t want any company on Sunday, but HB8 had other ideas.

HB8: We still on for tonight?

Me: How about next week, kind of not in the mood tonight.

HB8: I know this sucks, and I want to be there for you. We can just stay at your place and I’ll cook you some dinner.

Me: Cool. I’ll cook though; you cooked last time (And hopefully never again)

HB8: I’ll be there @ 6. I’ll bring some wine.

Me: See You then

She rolls in at 5:50 (prompt chick) as I’m cooking dinner. Open the wine, eat some food (good stuff), talk for a bit about random sh*t, clean up the kitchen, shoot some pool, and head out to the pool in the back So far there truly have been no red flags. This girl was raised right, has a great paying job, rents her own condo, and seems to have her sh*t together. So now all the fun begins.

HB8:“It’s so nice out. I wish I brought a swim suit”.

Me: “If you go upstairs in my room there’s some drawers in my closet check the top left and see if any of those will work”

She said nothing for like 10 seconds (guess the hamster was spinning).

HB8: “Are you telling me you have a drawer of female swimsuits in your closet?”

Me: “yeah a few, is this a problem?”

HB8: “Well if you came to my place and I had a drawer full of men’s speedos how would you feel, I just think it’s kind of weird to be dating a guy who has a drawer full of ladies swimsuits! What, do you just bring a bunch of random women here who you bring out here and keep their swimsuits as a memento?”

I was silent for about 3 seconds and busted out laughing. She went to say something and I cut her off. “Wait; let me answer the barrage of questions before you ask anything else.”

“1. If you had a drawer full of speedos I would think you dated gay men or were fu*king a swim team.”
”2. Why are we throwing the dating term out there when I’ve seen you a total of three times in my life?”
“and 3. I’ve lived in this house for a while and have had several parties and family members here, as I went through the bathrooms, people always would forget swimsuits so I washed them and threw them in that drawer.” “So do you want to borrow a swim suit or not?”

HB8: “No, I think I’ll pass on the whole swimming thing” “you know, the last time I was here I told you that I wasn’t just some girl that you can f*ck without a commitment. So yes I’m throwing the dating term out there!” “Maybe I should just go so that you can think it over?”( I think this may be what you guys refer to as a sh*t test.)

Me: “You know, that’s probably a good idea. I just put my dog down yesterday and I’m not in the right frame of mind to deal with this sh*t. I’ll show you to the door, and we can talk some other time.”

HB8: “I know my way to the door!” ‘Thanks for the great night!”

She grabs her purse and keys and walks out slamming the door. I never really expected some crazy outburst like that to happen. The other 2 times I saw this chick she seemed pretty cool. Not that this was terrible, but it seemed a little overboard.

Funny thing is an hour later this text conversation happens:

HB8: I’m so sorry!! I know your dog just died and I was a complete b*tch. Can I stop back by so we can talk about things?

Me: I’m not home. (I lied)

HB8: Where are you? I’ll meet you there.

Me: Seriously, Some other time.

HB8: I know I was wrong. I really like you. We should never end an evening fighting or arguing. Again I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be trying to force you into some relationship or something. I just like spending time with you. What are you doing tomorrow night?

Me: Kind of busy. (plate)

HB8: I was hoping we could open the box I left on your doorstep while you were away!

Me: It’s in the swimsuit drawer.

HB8: You’re a Jerk!! Let me know when you have some time this week. I’m really sorry. I feel horrible.

Me: I’ll let you know. Gotta go.

This was Sunday night. I haven’t reached out to this chick. She really seems cool, but this seems like the BPD stuff I always read about on this site. Does this sound like a bunch of red flags or, possible BPD, or am I over analyzing it? It all happened as written here.

 

[Slickster]

What a negative and unnecessary conversation.

I'm not sure if the conversation went exactly as you've written it out but as I read that it sounded like an old couple bickering at each other.

Sorry about your dog but imagine how different that conversation may have gone if you were in a better state of mind. There were some good opportunities to have some playful fun with her there.

It's obvious that chick really digs you. I wouldn't call any of that BPD. She's trying hard to get her hooks in you. If anything you were the one acting odd and probably understandably so. Are you sure you weren't looking to pick a fight there? The way it's written it kind of sounds like it.

P.S. I can't imagine any chick who would wear another girls swimsuit.

 

[hithard]

Trying to steamroll a sh#it test over you with an ultimatum. You have to realize you are breaking their old reality, where they have a hissy fit and get a guy blubbering apologies. They have a lifetime of beta dudes attending to their whims. So you will cop a lot of this crap to begin with.
Some girls take longer to break in then others. Its a matter of making them feel that this is just how your world is and developing the comfort levels in her where she will relax and go with it. As slick said they will try and dig their hooks in and use all kind of emotion to do it. Some just can't handle it at all and really go bats$hit crazy (you will cop it sooner or later).

You just dictate what you want. You might burn through a couple to get the pain:reward ratio right. Being around one plate for too long will bring up the $hit tests, unfortunately not seeing a plate enough causes moody, paranoid jealousy, sulkiness $hit tests.It's a fine line.

But always attend to your affairs first before plate drama. I know a few guys who run plates as their major focus, rather then taking care of what they should be doing. And start getting caught up in the plate drama which just adds stress to their lives.
Let the women do the worrying. Stay Zen.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I think Z did ok. He did inform this chick that he wasn't really up to it yet she insisted. She's aware of his situation. Then she starts throwing a fit over the swimsuit thing. Z is trying to help her out since she wants to swim. Only other possible course of action is she swims naked (keep that one for future reference Z).

Now I get why some of you think Z may have been looking for a fight, but damn guys come on, he just put down his dog. I hate having to put down animals and I remember my moods not being the greatest either. Yet this lady insisted and its obvious her agenda is to get her hooks into him and make him her's. She threw a fit because her usual tactics weren't working. Z has plates and has the upper hand and this woman knows it otherwise she wouldn't come back apologizing like the blubbering idiot she is, HOWEVER, she's done Z a favor and shown what her real personality is like when she doesn't get her way.

This is probably the most insightful date yet with this chick. Put her on plate rotation but I wouldn't get into relationship area at all with this woman.

 

[ZTIME]

SLICKSTER:If anything you were the one acting odd and probably understandably so. Are you sure you weren't looking to pick a fight there? The way it's written it kind of sounds like it.


It's difficult to add emotion when writing what was said. She was acting upset and I was laughing when I responded. I was pretty calm. The dog thing was on my mind though.

HITHARD:But always attend to your affairs first before plate drama. I know a few guys who run plates as their major focus, rather then taking care of what they should be doing. And start getting caught up in the plate drama which just adds stress to their lives.

My businesses and personal life are absolutely my main priority. I'm a little rusty on the whole dating thing, but having decent success. I try to keep dating to a maximum of 3 a week. Anything more would definitely stress me out.

SAUL:Put her on plate rotation but I wouldn't get into relationship area at all with this woman.


This is the hardest part right here. This girl is making it blazingly clear that she wants to be in a relationship. She's kind of pushy about it. Other than the plate (who's been in my life for quite some time), the women I've run into are going 1 of 2 ways. 1. Just f*ck for the night and that's it, or 2. F*ck and feel like they now want a monogamous relationship. There truly has been nothing in between.

Here's what I prefer: Monday night the plate stops by. She calls first and says she's in the area and wants to go to dinner. She parks at my place, we go get sushi and drinks and go back to my place. She spends the night, I leave in the morning and tell her to lock up when she leaves. No drama no problems. Couple cool points:

1. great conversation. Pets (topic of the week),relationships, business, etc.(plate hints at a relationship but not pushy. "when do think you're going to decide to settle down?", or "I'm just like that, we'd be perfect together!"

2. She actually pays! " I invited you, I've got it, you get it next time"

3. Sex is great.

4. She's hot.

It's kind of funny that the plate has been around through my last 4 relationships. Always hovering, and all of my last 4 relationships hated her.

Thanks for the insight.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Z,
There is another option which I consider the nuclear option, equivalent to sending a d!ck pic to a woman. That is outline everything you just said to this woman. The ideal situation for her as a plate of what you want. You want to f*ck her with no relationship, no drama, let herself out in the morning and lock up and each go on about your respective lives.

Tell her to take it or leave it. She blows up? Less drama in your life and move on to another. She decides to try it? Another plate.

 

[ZTIME]

Just a quick update to this thread. Saul I actually used a hybrid of your advice with HB8 and put her on plate rotation. Took her out a couple of times on some more adventures dates and had a blast. I told her that I went through a nasty breakup and really wasn’t in the right frame of mind to drop back into a “really serious relationship”. She went with it! No drama, no S**t test (yet). She seems to work well as my Sunday evening plate, or sometimes the whole weekend. (fits her schedule, and mine). She does press the whole “when you’re ready to be in a serious committed relationship I get the first shot!” She’s a cool cat.

Original plate has gone AWOL. Not a huge worry as she seems to find guys that are interested in her and then they don’t meet her requirements. I’ve had this conversation with her way to many times. Good luck to them spending their money and trying to get into those pants! That’s a long term investment without a quick payout. I don’t call or text her, she’ll come back around in a while (if history is an indicator). I truly think she thought that this time we’d be on a more serious level.

I never saw HB7 again. She tried texting and calling several times for a week and I just never replied. My buddy called and asked what was going on and I said she doesn’t work for me. I’m sure he passed on the message. Funny thing is that the bartender who commented on her That I said maybe I should date someone like you and she replied with “maybe”…. Well, stopped by there a couple of times. She was working and asked what happened with the psycho? We laughed about the story and asked for my number to text me a funny picture. She texted the picture, we laughed, and I took off. Two days later she’s texting to meet up at another local bar. Says she’s not allowed to drink where she works. Night went great. (Didn’t bone her, but sometimes that’s a good thing). We’re going out again tomorrow night.

That’s the update.