Reviewing my twenties and going over the key things I learned and would do differently

CornbreadFed

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Hopefully this will inspire a poster to make similar post regarding their 30s!

1). Approach college differently - Unless you have a scholarship, it is better to wait until you are mature enough. A recent high school graduate lacks real-world experience and has yet to face the responsibilities of adulthood, making it unwise to make one of the most crucial decisions of your life at such a young age. Additionally, do not fall into the misconception that college is the best four years of your life; it is disheartening to think that the peak years of your life will pass by soon. The party scene is overrated and not worth risking your life for. This is not a post against going to college; it is simply acknowledging that it is okay to wait until you are older and more mature.

2). Don't waste energy on politics or ideologies - Unless it benefits you directly, these things are mere hindrances in life. Ultimately, nobody truly cares, and these topics often lead to arguments and dissatisfaction.

3). It's okay to face rejection from women, learn from it, and move on - I used to prolong hopeless situations with women and develop an unhealthy obsession. I blamed external factors like Chad, hypergamy, or the universe, but I never took responsibility for my own actions. First, determine if you had initial control over her interest level or not. Then, evaluate what you did wrong or lacked and how you can improvise.

4). Engage with more women in high school - Although this topic is more relevant to one's twenties, it would have greatly benefited me in my interactions with women during college. College is not as beginner-friendly as stereotypes may suggest. High School actually offers a novice friendly environment because girls are more open and vulnerable in High School.

5). One-night stands are overrated - It wasn't until my third relationship that I truly began to understand how to navigate relationships with women. After that, I stopped concerning myself with red pill ideologies because I realized their true nature. What was the point of having a one-night stand if a long dry spell followed or I was simping for a second round with her shortly after?

6). The true "red pill" is experiencing genuine interest from a woman - Once you encounter a woman who shows high interest in you, you will realize that mind games, tests, and hot-and-cold behavior are merely signs of low interest. A woman with genuine interest will not subject you to such behavior, as long as you maintain that mutual interest.

7). Be patient, yet persistent - Trust me, whatever reasonable goal you are working towards will come to fruition. It may not unfold exactly as you envisioned, but with time and resilience, it will manifest.

8). Stop fixating on other people - Refrain from worrying about the actions of women, your peers, rivals, and so on. While you can use them as benchmarks, avoid becoming obsessed with their lives. You never truly know what is happening behind the scenes because people often conceal their struggles. I recently discovered that a friend who married his high school sweetheart, bought a house, had two kids, and had a stable job is now going through a divorce and has lost his employment. It may sound trivial, but many individuals fall into a "red pill" mentality based on such insignificant matters.

9). Apply the 90/10 rule before complaining about women - Understand that only 10% of women are genuinely suitable for you to date in the first place. From that 10%, you need to ensure they are attractive, single, mentally stable, and so on. I am tired of seeing numerous topics and comments complaining about women who were never suitable prospects to begin with. I couldn't care less about what some superficial person on dating platforms like Fresh and Fraud, Hinge, or any other app said because I would never have considered dating them in the first place.
 

Barrister

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Nice list, OP.

My biggest thing I would have changed going back to my twenties, and especially my early twenties, was that I cared way too much what people (not just women) thought of me - I definitely had the blue pilled "nice guy" syndrome. It definitely permeated my dating life and probably made it so I only slept with about 3-4 women instead of 100+ in college. I don't really regret it, but man I would have had a way bigger blast back then. I also let other men get away with sh1t I would never allow now in the interests of keeping the peace, which as I have gotten older I have learned only makes another man respect you less if you don't immediately stand up to them.

Again, not a regret. Life is a journey and I am where I am at now and very happy about it. But if you plopped my mind back in time into my 18-23 year old self I would have acted much differently.
 

Westminster

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Nice list, OP.

My biggest thing I would have changed going back to my twenties, and especially my early twenties, was that I cared way too much what people (not just women) thought of me - I definitely had the blue pilled "nice guy" syndrome. It definitely permeated my dating life and probably made it so I only slept with about 3-4 women instead of 100+ in college. I don't really regret it, but man I would have had a way bigger blast back then. I also let other men get away with sh1t I would never allow now in the interests of keeping the peace, which as I have gotten older I have learned only makes another man respect you less if you don't immediately stand up to them.

Again, not a regret. Life is a journey and I am where I am at now and very happy about it. But if you plopped my mind back in time into my 18-23 year old self I would have acted much differently.
This is a good point, I used to be the same and frankly it gets you nowhere. Nowadays, I'm not that bothered what people think of me. Most of them anyway.
 

Westminster

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Nice list from the OP.

Number 3 is a good one. One-night stands are, I agree, generally overrated. Other than being an ego trip, what's the point?

Number 6 is food for thought. That may well be right.
 

eli77

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Awesome post we need more words of encouragement like this not antisocial idiots who blow up this forum to be wanna be alpha males.
 

MatureDJ

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1). Approach college differently - Unless you have a scholarship, it is better to wait until you are mature enough. A recent high school graduate lacks real-world experience and has yet to face the responsibilities of adulthood, making it unwise to make one of the most crucial decisions of your life at such a young age. Additionally, do not fall into the misconception that college is the best four years of your life; it is disheartening to think that the peak years of your life will pass by soon. The party scene is overrated and not worth risking your life for. This is not a post against going to college; it is simply acknowledging that it is okay to wait until you are older and more mature.
You are forgetting the main consideration that college gives the youth something to do - and that for folks going away to college, it's important step in developing the ability to adult, all the while when there aren't expensive things like a home or kids.
2). Don't waste energy on politics or ideologies - Unless it benefits you directly, these things are mere hindrances in life. Ultimately, nobody truly cares, and these topics often lead to arguments and dissatisfaction.
The true Beta is the one that doesn't get involved in politics, and just takes whatever plan the government has for them.
3). It's okay to face rejection from women, learn from it, and move on - I used to prolong hopeless situations with women and develop an unhealthy obsession. I blamed external factors like Chad, hypergamy, or the universe, but I never took responsibility for my own actions. First, determine if you had initial control over her interest level or not. Then, evaluate what you did wrong or lacked and how you can improvise.
Not blaming Chad or hypergamy is simply Copium. That said, an accurate assessment of what is possible both now or after a change in circumstance (e.g., hitting the gym, GeoMaxxing, etc.) is important.
4). Engage with more women in high school - Although this topic is more relevant to one's twenties, it would have greatly benefited me in my interactions with women during college. College is not as beginner-friendly as stereotypes may suggest. High School actually offers a novice friendly environment because girls are more open and vulnerable in High School.
Totally useless for those of us attending all-male high schools. :mad:
5). One-night stands are overrated - It wasn't until my third relationship that I truly began to understand how to navigate relationships with women. After that, I stopped concerning myself with red pill ideologies because I realized their true nature. What was the point of having a one-night stand if a long dry spell followed or I was simping for a second round with her shortly after?
To me, it's not a question of being overrated, but rather the risk of having a chick that is not properly vetted be a resource sink and part of your permanent genetic record. :eek:
6). The true "red pill" is experiencing genuine interest from a woman - Once you encounter a woman who shows high interest in you, you will realize that mind games, tests, and hot-and-cold behavior are merely signs of low interest. A woman with genuine interest will not subject you to such behavior, as long as you maintain that mutual interest.
Agreed, but if the only non-fat women a man can get is such a woman? :mad:
7). Be patient, yet persistent - Trust me, whatever reasonable goal you are working towards will come to fruition. It may not unfold exactly as you envisioned, but with time and resilience, it will manifest.
Copium. The brutal truth of the world is that hard work does not automatically correspond to success.
8). Stop fixating on other people - Refrain from worrying about the actions of women, your peers, rivals, and so on. While you can use them as benchmarks, avoid becoming obsessed with their lives. You never truly know what is happening behind the scenes because people often conceal their struggles. I recently discovered that a friend who married his high school sweetheart, bought a house, had two kids, and had a stable job is now going through a divorce and has lost his employment. It may sound trivial, but many individuals fall into a "red pill" mentality based on such insignificant matters.
Agreed, but we all have to worry about those women that we view as prospects.
9). Apply the 90/10 rule before complaining about women - Understand that only 10% of women are genuinely suitable for you to date in the first place. From that 10%, you need to ensure they are attractive, single, mentally stable, and so on. I am tired of seeing numerous topics and comments complaining about women who were never suitable prospects to begin with. I couldn't care less about what some superficial person on dating platforms like Fresh and Fraud, Hinge, or any other app said because I would never have considered dating them in the first place.
But what if that 10% doesn't want you? Again, Copium.
 

CornbreadFed

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You are forgetting the main consideration that college gives the youth something to do - and that for folks going away to college, it's important step in developing the ability to adult, all the while when there aren't expensive things like a home or kids.
military, community college, non skilled labor job,religious activities, etc. There’s plenty to do if the parents decides to put their foot down.


The true Beta is the one that doesn't get involved in politics, and just takes whatever plan the government has for them.
So what are you going to do change things with your loud opinion?


To me, it's not a question of being overrated, but rather the risk of having a chick that is not properly vetted be a resource sink and part of your permanent genetic record. :eek:
Use protection lol

No offense man, but it seems like copium for you is just cope for low to minimum effort lol.
 

SW15

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The overall list is good. Now, on to some comments.

College is not as beginner-friendly as stereotypes may suggest.
This is a good observation. For those not aware, there is a great thread on college sex lives...


I definitely had the blue pilled "nice guy" syndrome. It definitely permeated my dating life and probably made it so I only slept with about 3-4 women instead of 100+ in college.
A lot of younger guys have the "nice guy" syndrome. I saw a lot of this when I was 18-25.

1). Approach college differently - Unless you have a scholarship, it is better to wait until you are mature enough. A recent high school graduate lacks real-world experience and has yet to face the responsibilities of adulthood, making it unwise to make one of the most crucial decisions of your life at such a young age. Additionally, do not fall into the misconception that college is the best four years of your life; it is disheartening to think that the peak years of your life will pass by soon. The party scene is overrated and not worth risking your life for. This is not a post against going to college; it is simply acknowledging that it is okay to wait until you are older and more mature.
This is true. I did not attend the best college for me. It's difficult to get the college decision correct at 16-17. Additionally, I could have benefitted from transferring after freshman-sophomore year too.

I agree that the party scene of college is overrated and I made that point to some extent on the first page of the "College Sex" thread that I linked to earlier.

A lot of men would benefit from skipping college and either going straight to work or getting a trade school certification instead.

4). Engage with more women in high school - Although this topic is more relevant to one's twenties, it would have greatly benefited me in my interactions with women during college. College is not as beginner-friendly as stereotypes may suggest. High School actually offers a novice friendly environment because girls are more open and vulnerable in High School.
High school era sexual marketplace experiences have a longer term effect on one's sexual development. Bad high school era sexual marketplace experiences can leaving a lasting impact. @MatureDJ has mentioned the lifelong effects he felt from attending an all-male high school. I've known other people who attended all-male high schools and nearly all of them reported negative dating outcomes due in part due to those. The majority of men don't attend all-male high schools though.

For those males who went to co-ed high schools, taking some brutal rejections from the attractive high school girls will leave an impact. If you don't find a prom date (prom = overrated), you'll be impacted to some degree.

5). One-night stands are overrated - It wasn't until my third relationship that I truly began to understand how to navigate relationships with women. After that, I stopped concerning myself with red pill ideologies because I realized their true nature. What was the point of having a one-night stand if a long dry spell followed or I was simping for a second round with her shortly after?
This is true, though a lot of SoSuave forum members are chasing one night stands and casual sex.

3). It's okay to face rejection from women, learn from it, and move on - I used to prolong hopeless situations with women and develop an unhealthy obsession. I blamed external factors like Chad, hypergamy, or the universe, but I never took responsibility for my own actions. First, determine if you had initial control over her interest level or not. Then, evaluate what you did wrong or lacked and how you can improvise.
Everyone will face some rejection but too much rejection early on (ages 15-25) will have a lasting impact.
 

CornbreadFed

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A lot of men would benefit from skipping college and either going straight to work or getting a trade school certification instead.
yes, by mid to late twenties have a mature enough mindset to make a decision. The biggest wake up call I had was when I saw all of my colleagues that skipped partying for studying brag about getting selected for residency.


High school era sexual marketplace experiences have a longer term effect on one's sexual development. Bad high school era sexual marketplace experiences can leaving a lasting impact. @MatureDJ has mentioned the lifelong effects he felt from attending an all-male high school. I've known other people who attended all-male high schools and nearly all of them reported negative dating outcomes due in part due to those. The majority of men don't attend all-male high schools though.

For those males who went to co-ed high schools, taking some brutal rejections from the attractive high school girls will leave an impact. If you don't find a prom date (prom = overrated), you'll be impacted to some degree.
I guess this is a huge outlier for because I have a good friend that went to an all males school that had never had a single issue getting women his whole life. Keeping and maintaining interest is a different story though. In addition, going to a public mixed gender school is not going to guarantee success because there’s plenty of guys that neglect the opportunities out of cowardliness or laziness.
 

SW15

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yes, by mid to late twenties have a mature enough mindset to make a decision. The biggest wake up call I had was when I saw all of my colleagues that skipped partying for studying brag about getting selected for residency.
Does residency matter? Most physicians are blue pilled beta males. The typical MD is a married guy with a weak frame who leads with his wallet.

I guess this is a huge outlier for because I have a good friend that went to an all males school that had never had a single issue getting women his whole life. Keeping and maintaining interest is a different story though. In addition, going to a public mixed gender school is not going to guarantee success because there’s plenty of guys that neglect the opportunities out of cowardliness or laziness.
I agree. There are plenty of men who attended co-ed high schools (either public or private) who had bad sexual marketplace experiences while in high school. There can be a variety of reasons for this. Cowardliness or laziness are common themes in those bad experiences.

All-male high schools are generally bad experiences though. Most males are better off in high school in a co-ed schools. With a lot of all-male high schools, there are nearby all-female high schools. However, there isn't a lot of interaction between the all-male school and the all-female school. There might be a once a month dance and that's it.
 

CornbreadFed

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Does residency matter? Most physicians are blue pilled beta males. The typical MD is a married guy with a weak frame who leads with his wallet.
yes because I want more money and job stability.
At the time at this realization, I was making 60k at a dead end office job.

I agree. There are plenty of men who attended co-ed high schools (either public or private) who had bad sexual marketplace experiences while in high school. There can be a variety of reasons for this. Cowardliness or laziness are common themes in those bad experiences.

All-male high schools are generally bad experiences though. Most males are better off in high school in a co-ed schools. With a lot of all-male high schools, there are nearby all-female high schools. However, there isn't a lot of interaction between the all-male school and the all-female school. There might be a once a month dance and that's it.
so I asked him what he did and he said he met girls through other means. Based on my observations, guys that get laid a lot put in the effort. The Chad magnet aurora is just overblown by the black Pillers. My friend is 5ft 10 and he is above average in looks but he’s not a Chad. If he was 6ft and taller he could possibly be lol.
 

Dr.Suave

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This is what I would do different on my twenties:

- Improve the quality of time I spent with my dad, may he RIP

- Spin more plates

- Dedicate more time on self improvement

- Escalate more often

- Prioritize family time

- Find a job I could do remotely

- Prioritize younger plates

- Avoid Crazy Betty like the plague https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/crazy-betty.277746/
 

parabellum

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Hopefully this will inspire a poster to make similar post regarding their 30s!

1). Approach college differently - Unless you have a scholarship, it is better to wait until you are mature enough. A recent high school graduate lacks real-world experience and has yet to face the responsibilities of adulthood, making it unwise to make one of the most crucial decisions of your life at such a young age. Additionally, do not fall into the misconception that college is the best four years of your life; it is disheartening to think that the peak years of your life will pass by soon. The party scene is overrated and not worth risking your life for. This is not a post against going to college; it is simply acknowledging that it is okay to wait until you are older and more mature.

**For me both high school and college were full of pvss y, even someone like me who didn’t have the best role models or resources had some opportunities to capitalize once I realized what are were the minimal things I needed to have to be successful in the environment and worked towards achieving these. For me the party scene was not overrated.

now, in a more philosophical view, there is an issue with the average college students in any country.

Some countries the students enter college knowing absolutely nothing and even complete college without being prepared to perform a decent job in any profession, the success of such students might depend a lot on the family connections. But the brightside is that students have the ability to change paths more easily.

On the other hand, some countries you see college degrees that actually prepare you for a profession, with the downside that you have to have an idea of what you want to do with your life when you enter college, lest you lose a lot of time later. Family connections being less necessary in this case.

what is the best system? Not really sure, but the sooner you realize these things the better you’ll be able to navigate the world. Hence, why the correct role models can act as catalyzers of anyones success.


2). Don't waste energy on politics or ideologies - Unless it benefits you directly, these things are mere hindrances in life. Ultimately, nobody truly cares, and these topics often lead to arguments and dissatisfaction.

**Partly agree. Politics are everywhere and I think people should make an effort to at least be informed of the general situation of their country. No need to become a fanatic, but definitely be knowledgeable about it. Maybe an average man won’t have the chance to get involved in politics in his younger years, but maybe opportunities will show up once he is in a more senior/powerful position.

3). It's okay to face rejection from women, learn from it, and move on - I used to prolong hopeless situations with women and develop an unhealthy obsession. I blamed external factors like Chad, hypergamy, or the universe, but I never took responsibility for my own actions. First, determine if you had initial control over her interest level or not. Then, evaluate what you did wrong or lacked and how you can improvise.

**agree, trial and error, no unhealthy attachment, and move on

4). Engage with more women in high school - Although this topic is more relevant to one's twenties, it would have greatly benefited me in my interactions with women during college. College is not as beginner-friendly as stereotypes may suggest. High School actually offers a novice friendly environment because girls are more open and vulnerable in High School.

**agree, see point 1 response


5). One-night stands are overrated - It wasn't until my third relationship that I truly began to understand how to navigate relationships with women. After that, I stopped concerning myself with red pill ideologies because I realized their true nature. What was the point of having a one-night stand if a long dry spell followed or I was simping for a second round with her shortly after?

**they can be fun but definitively no big deal. lDepending on the persons goals and personality they can become somewhat boring after some time.

6). The true "red pill" is experiencing genuine interest from a woman - Once you encounter a woman who shows high interest in you, you will realize that mind games, tests, and hot-and-cold behavior are merely signs of low interest. A woman with genuine interest will not subject you to such behavior, as long as you maintain that mutual interest.

**Agree with the paragraph but not sure with the title of the paragraph. Need more time to think about this.

7). Be patient, yet persistent - Trust me, whatever reasonable goal you are working towards will come to fruition. It may not unfold exactly as you envisioned, but with time and resilience, it will manifest.

**yes, do this. But also be aware that connections can be 70% of everything



8). Stop fixating on other people - Refrain from worrying about the actions of women, your peers, rivals, and so on. While you can use them as benchmarks, avoid becoming obsessed with their lives. You never truly know what is happening behind the scenes because people often conceal their struggles. I recently discovered that a friend who married his high school sweetheart, bought a house, had two kids, and had a stable job is now going through a divorce and has lost his employment. It may sound trivial, but many individuals fall into a "red pill" mentality based on such insignificant matters.

**agree. Although this means that you have to learn how to be comfortable with solitude. My experience is that once you make it out of the herd mentality, it will feel lonely sometimes.

9). Apply the 90/10 rule before complaining about women - Understand that only 10% of women are genuinely suitable for you to date in the first place. From that 10%, you need to ensure they are attractive, single, mentally stable, and so on. I am tired of seeing numerous topics and comments complaining about women who were never suitable prospects to begin with. I couldn't care less about what some superficial person on dating platforms like Fresh and Fraud, Hinge, or any other app said because I would never have considered dating them in the first place.


**honestly, if there’s someone out there reading this and you’re having a 5 year dry spell, or still a virgin at an unreasonable age..and you are like me, average or less than average in Looks, Money, Game.. you need to figure out what you need to change, sure.

But You know what else will help you? ****ing that average or less than average looking girl that might show you some shy interest… getting your D wet while you work on your improvements will boost your confidence like few things can do it. What is the worst thing that can happen? You’re already on this forum so I take you’re not a completely naive man. Be prepared to walk away. You will at least get some practice sex, chance to try knew things, etc
 
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