Response to game playing

[Die Hard]

Suppose you're dating a girl and you notice a habit in her to wait quite long between responding to your Whatsapp messages. You KNOW she's doing it intentionally, for example she goes online numerous times throughout the day and doesn't respond, but she will always wait EXACTLY 24 hours before responding. Or some other pattern which clearly indicates she's doing it on purpose....

Do you respond similarly and ALSO wait for a long time? This way, she knows you realize she's playing games and she knows that you are purposely reacting the same way.... So the two of you are both gameplaying and both conscious of each other's gameplaying, so the both of you will probably just reinforce each other's gameplaying.

Or do you respond by simply replying to her messages when you are able to? Which often means you respond within a few hours (any normal person has the time to send a message during the day), while she waits TWENTY FOUR hours?
In this case, she might think you're weak and can't control yourself, and she's grabbing the frame setting up an environment where you supposedly need her more than the other way around coz you are more eager to respond to her messages instead ot the other way around etc.

Sure, ideally one would NEXT gameplayers blahblahblah. But if you do decide to pursue a girl, which response is the best? I feel like they both suck:

* If you respond similarly to her you just reinforce her gameplaying with your gameplaying
* If you refrain from gameplaying yourself and just respond whenever you have time, you come across as more needy and she kinda grabs the frame.

How do you guys handle these situations? I can predict a lot of you saying to NEXT her and find someone who doesn't play games... But if you decide to stay in contact nevertheless, then which approach do you pick?

 

[guru1000]

Context? How long do you know this girl? How many dates? Did you bang her yet?

 

[Die Hard]

Only one date, no banging yet...

But I'm asking this as a general question, it's something many women do. And if they do it, they do it from the start, directly after I got their number and get underway with the texting game. The question is aimed at that context: in the very early phase of dating.

 

[wifehunter]

testing starts early... best response would be "nothing" ...or in Spanish "Nada"

just go with the flow.

 

[guru1000]

One date? Yes, wait for the 24th hour and three seconds, text her two letters, and don't respond back to her response for another 38 hours and five seconds minimum! LOL. Come on buddy.

Stop the texting. Ask for the second date.

 

[ZTIME]

It's only a game if you make it one. IMO if your texting or using any cellular device to communicate, the recipient gets the text right away. If they choose not to reply for 24 hrs. That's their choice. Just don't text again until you get a response.

When you receive a text, answer whenever you feel like it. You're maintaining frame by doing what you want, not what you perceive will make you look less needy in her eyes.

 

[BeExcellent]

One date is not "dating."

Whatever happened to initiate contact, ask for the date, & get on with life in the interim?

You'll mess more stuff up with all the texting & social media than you can imagine.

First: Quit stalking her via social media. Nothing good comes out of creeping on someone's social profiles.

Second: If you want another date ask her out & drive on. Be specific. She'll either accept or not.

 

[Die Hard]

One date? Yes, wait for the 24th hour and three seconds, text her two letters, and don't respond back to her response for another 38 hours and five seconds minimum! LOL. Come on buddy.

Stop the texting. Ask for the second date.

Kinda naive response of yours, man. I didn't ask WHAT to say, I asked WHEN to say something. The choice still remains: ignore her games and text whenever you have the time or respond in kind and let her wait a long time on your response in return. Surely, the effect of each of these approaches will be different on her. So if you have any insight to this, let's hear it.

I tend to look at this the same way as you do, ZTIME. Yet, I feel that some girls in the past have perceived this behavior as weakness and lost interest, because when they waited a loooong time with their texts and I responded relatively quickly with my texts, they perceived me as being too eager. They perceived it as if they had more self control than me and as if they were less eager to talk to me than the other way around. In their own head, they thought "he wants me more than I want him" and it dropped their interest level.

Therefor, I am hesitant to "just" respond whenever I feel like it. It seems to send the wrong message sometimes, girls may think you are too eager to set up the date, too eager to keep the conversation going etc. And it drops their interest level... Whereas they may perceive a long waiting period from you as you being 'a man with options'. Then again, she may also perceive it as you being butthurt by her waiting so long and trying to get back at her by also waiting long. Then again, don't we always say to withdraw attention when a girl behaves improperly? Well then, if she's playing such silly games and purposely making you wait so long on her texts, shouldn't you withdraw your attention as a result and go dark for one or two days?

I dunno... And that's the thing, I can come up with several arguments in favor of responding within a "normal" time period but I can also come up with several arguments in favor of waiting a long time in response to her behavior. Sometimes I take the first approach, sometimes I take the second approach. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. I'm fine anyway.... But I prefer to base my behavior on some type of reasoning which convinces me that one approach will give me more chance of succes than the other, instead of randomly trying something and leaving the result to pure chance, luck or fate. Even an educated guess is better, so analyzing these situations and trying to come up with that educated guess is always better than being oversimplistic and saying: "Just go for the date, everything else doesn't matter".

You can say that I care too much, just next the bytch coz her behavior shows low interest blahblahblah. But our behavior influences their behavior, that's what "game" is about. It's not like we should just stoically ask all the girls simply if they want to fvck and if they say no move on to the next one, telling ourselves "Well, I asked her, right? What more can I do? The rest is up to her...". We can improve our chances of succes by smiling at her, perhaps talk about some other stuff first, start touching and kissing her first BEFORE we try to fvck her. Just like that, I think it's WAY too simplistic to say one should JUST ASK FOR THE DATE, like Guru1000 replied, as if nothing else influences the outcome!
Suppose you have a first date, at the end you make out with her in your car and then drop her off at her house. Then two minutes after driving off, you immediately call her up and try to set up another date. Don't you think that would be a liiiiiiittle too fast??? Or would you simply say: "It doesn't matter how long you wait or when you ask her. None of it matters.. Just ask for the date!"
That would be horsesh!t, details and circumstances DO matter. There is a little more to game than simply asking for the date and disregarding all other factors of communication between you and the girl.

There are different responses to this situation and some will improve your chances at succes more than others. I'm simply curious to hear which response (could be more than one, of course) would be best and what reasoning you guys have for it.

 

[guru1000]

DH, I'm sorry my advice rubbed you the wrong way, but I don't mind digging into to you to break unfruitful patterns. This is not the first time you have requested fundamental "game" advice. When you reach the epitome of "game," you realize there is no game. All there are are a prospects "needs," and whether you are servicing those needs.

It is indeed that simple from the position you are in. I have often recommended to some to apply beta-game, that is sweet-talking a girl to get her panties wet. But, this is a high level of game, and here you ask the fundamental question, "What should I do if she texts me after 24 hours?"

You can't run beta-game on her for the following two reasons:

1) Beta-game is a high-level of game that requires sharp social acuity; and
2) You can't transform your current rapport (24/hour text backs) into beta-game without appearing incongruent.

So naturally, you will be advised, stop the overthinking, and ask for the date.

To the beginner- and medium-level DJ, I would always encourage to "game" her on the date. Texting and calling are only mediums to schedule dates.

To the advanced, I would encourage to tear down the veneers, probe into her past relations and family to ascertain her needs, and then delivery a pitch that subtly tends to those needs while indirectly answering the "whys" in her life. This will break down her defenses and she will think she has found her soulmate.

BUT, from the position that you are in with her, the frame you have already established, and the fundamental question that you have already asked, I reiterate, whether through phone or text:

Ask for the date.

 

[CMNILS87]

DH, I'm sorry my advice rubbed you the wrong way, but I don't mind digging into to you to break unfruitful patterns. This is not the first time you have requested fundamental "game" advice. When you reach the epitome of "game," you realize there is no game. All there are are a prospects "needs," and whether you are servicing those needs.

It is indeed that simple from the position you are in. I have often recommended to some to apply beta-game, that is sweet-talking a girl to get her panties wet. But, this is a high level of game, and here you ask the fundamental question, "What should I do if she texts me after 24 hours?"

You can't run beta-game on her for the following two reasons:

1) Beta-game is a high-level of game that requires sharp social acuity; and
2) You can't transform your current rapport (24/hour text backs) into beta-game without appearing incongruent.

So naturally, you will be advised, stop the overthinking, and ask for the date.

To the beginner- and medium-level DJ, I would always encourage to "game" her on the date. Texting and calling are only mediums to schedule dates.

To the advanced, I would encourage to tear down the veneers, probe into her past relations and family to ascertain her needs, and then delivery a pitch that subtly tends to those needs while indirectly answering the "whys" in her life. This will break down her defenses and she will think she has found her soulmate.

BUT, from the position that you are in with her, the frame you have already established, and the fundamental question that you have already asked, I reiterate, whether through phone or text:

Ask for the date.

Bingo, guru. Probing into a girls past tells you everything. And she'll literally give it up to you on a silver platter. what you do with that information is up to you.

 

[Killakittie]

I've encountered this behavior myself and caught myself thinking about it. The best answer is to immediately downgrade them to the bottom of the list, don't reach out, and invest minimum energy in communicating with them. It's basically nexting them, if they text you back a day later I might not even respond or if I do it's a few days after they did. Sometimes if I'm feeling like being an ass I'll respond and say "sorry I'm really only interested in women who can hold a conversation good luck!"

Doesn't score you any points but it's good to practice not putting up with dumb **** and having standards. If she was into you she wouldn't be acting this way in the first place. She might not even be mentally or emotionally avaliable and just seeking attention. Regardless it's a waste of time.

 

[Tenacity]

Suppose you're dating a girl and you notice a habit in her to wait quite long between responding to your Whatsapp messages. You KNOW she's doing it intentionally, for example she goes online numerous times throughout the day and doesn't respond, but she will always wait EXACTLY 24 hours before responding. Or some other pattern which clearly indicates she's doing it on purpose....Do you respond similarly and ALSO wait for a long time? This way, she knows you realize she's playing games and she knows that you are purposely reacting the same way....

No, because then you become a game player and time waster like she is. Life is too short.

DH, I'm sorry my advice rubbed you the wrong way, but I don't mind digging into to you to break unfruitful patterns. This is not the first time you have requested fundamental "game" advice. When you reach the epitome of "game," you realize there is no game. All there are are a prospects "needs," and whether you are servicing those needs.

But Guru, you can't service a prospect's needs who plays "mind-fvcking" games. Trying to figure out the "needs/wants" of the majority of today's market of women is like trying to analyze the mindset of a damn 4 year old. It might give you certain clues, it might flat out tell you it will do X, Y, or Z...then it will completely and randomly change course and do something completely/utterly different without any explanation, recourse, nor accountability.

It is indeed that simple from the position you are in. I have often recommended to some to apply beta-game, that is sweet-talking a girl to get her panties wet.

Guru, first you say there is no game, then you start describing the RULES of the game....ummm, is there a game or is there no game lol??

So naturally, you will be advised, stop the overthinking, and ask for the date. To the beginner- and medium-level DJ, I would always encourage to "game" her on the date. Texting and calling are only mediums to schedule dates.

From my personal experience, I wouldn't be RUSHING for a date like that.

A date is an complete/utter waste of time if you have not CONFIRMED some sort of rapport with the girl. Notice I said CONFIRMED, because I don't believe in this cartoonish Manosphere shyt that you can "game" somebody, "seduce" somebody, "put a trance" on somebody.....nor "build" rapport.

You fix your looks, personality, and finances...that's your product.

You present your product to the chick.....the prospect.

Either the bytch likes it or she doesn't.

If she likes it, she will CONFIRM that through the telephone because speaking to her on the phone and through texting will be enjoyable for the most part. When she EVENTUALLY goes out with you, it will be fun and there's a high chance you will get some a.ss that night.

If she doesn't like it, she's more likely to play games through the telephone and texting, then if she goes out with you, it will more than likely not be fun and she will more than likely just use you for a free night of food and drinks.....without letting you SNIFF her pvssy now or ever.

The telephone and texting allows you to CONFIRM interest...before you go wasting your gas, your time, your energy, and your finances taking a bytch out on a "date". Don't RUSH through the telephone and texting stage, and if she is acting a fool through the telephone and texting stage, she's going to act a fool on the date....so don't waste your time going to see this prospect.

 

[Tenacity]

I've encountered this behavior myself and caught myself thinking about it. The best answer is to immediately downgrade them to the bottom of the list, don't reach out, and invest minimum energy in communicating with them. It's basically nexting them, if they text you back a day later I might not even respond or if I do it's a few days after they did. Sometimes if I'm feeling like being an ass I'll respond and say "sorry I'm really only interested in women who can hold a conversation good luck!"

Doesn't score you any points but it's good to practice not putting up with dumb **** and having standards. If she was into you she wouldn't be acting this way in the first place. She might not even be mentally or emotionally avaliable and just seeking attention. Regardless it's a waste of time.

^^^^^ What he said!

You know the BIGGEST mistake us "good/decent" guys keep making? It's still operating from a Traditional Male's mentality when we are dealing with a Feminist/Gynocentric market of women.

You see, us Traditional Males are naturally geared to doing the right thing, being honest, not playing any games, and looking to find that one special chick to settle down with and make a happy family unit.

But this market of women has changed. There are no more Traditional Women left.

What's left is a market of women that's feminist/gynocentric, which manifests as women who serial date, are manipulators, flat out liars, women who lack ANY loyalty, women who many times lack respect for you, and women that can leave you literally at any moment for anything or for NOTHING (they are short term lease agreements that can be called at anytime).

Knowing this guys, we have to some how find a way to eliminate our natural Traditional Male selves. We have to stop looking to BUY and we have to become very good RENTERS.

Being a good RENTER means you are always on the go and you understand that you will never be in one place....at one time...for any LONG period of time. So you seek to get the best SHORT TERM DEAL that you can find and squeeze as much benefits as you can out of that SHORT TERM DEAL while you have it.

Then....once it's done....you move onto the next lease. I'm telling you, if you operate like this, your frustrations with this market of women will be eliminated because you will no longer be looking to BUY in a RENTER'S market.

 

[guru1000]

But Guru, you can't service a prospect's needs who plays "mind-fvcking" games. Trying to figure out the "needs/wants" of the majority of today's market of women is like trying to analyze the mindset of a damn 4 year old. It might give you certain clues, it might flat out tell you it will do X, Y, or Z...then it will completely and randomly change course and do something completely/utterly different without any explanation, recourse, nor accountability.

Seems like you look for overt declarations of woman-speak to gauge her needs and thus enter the merry-go-round of nowhere. I will use a simple example:

Tenacity: So when did your last relationship end?

Girl: I don't feel comfortable talking about it (Translation: There is some emotional trauma I don't wish to open up right now)

Tenacity: I understand. Relationships can be tough. I assume it must have been recent.

Girl: No it ended about four months ago. (Translation: She is still aggrieved and sensitive. Now ascertain her "need")

Tenacity: Interesting. Let me guess. He cheated on you.

Girl: No, no, but he was always out with his friends. I was looking to ...

You have to crack them open like a walnut buddy. And pay attention. The answers are all there. You can delve into their psyche in any manner and as far as you wish.

Tenacity, this post really speaks to you. You have complained endlessly about your inability to create quality connections, and the 5 or 6 quality contenders that you did manage to meet, you chased away. This is because your communications are too superficial and shallow. There is no depth in your connections (you have heard this before). You have talent in attracting women, but I would encourage you to work on connecting deeper to forge greater quality connections with your prospects.

 

[sodbuster]

I'd reply. "what were we talking about?" "I cleaned up my phone and deleted texts this morning"

 

[Slickster]

It's only a game if you make it one. IMO if your texting or using any cellular device to communicate, the recipient gets the text right away. If they choose not to reply for 24 hrs. That's their choice. Just don't text again until you get a response.

When you receive a text, answer whenever you feel like it. You're maintaining frame by doing what you want, not what you perceive will make you look less needy in her eyes.

Best response. Key is to be above the bs and to truly not care too much either way.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

24 hours gives you time to talk to someone else...
Text when the hell you want to, say what the hell you want to. Dont be needy. Play by your rules not hers. You are screening her. If you cant be your natural self it aint worth it.
At the end of your next text just say, "hear from you soon. I get bored if I have to wait too long."
Without being too overt you have told that you expect her to reply back quicker and if she doesnt you'll next her. If you wait 24 hours to reply like she is doing you have entered her frame.

If there is no rapport or real attraction it dorsnt matter what you say or do.

 

[Desdinova]

You've had one date with her and she's returning your messages after 24 hours. She's not interested in you.

What was the date like? Did she have a lot of fun? Did you kiss?

What are your messages like? Are they business-oriented, or are they fun-filled?

If 'fun' is absent from both types of interactions with her, then she's not going to see any reason to give you priority over her friends or other men who are interested in her. My goal with any new woman is to make our interactions as fun as possible whether they be through texting or in person. Mix the business aspect of dating into the pleasure of the interaction. The games will disappear if the woman is enjoying her interaction with you.

 

[CMNILS87]

Seems like you look for overt declarations of woman-speak to gauge her needs and thus enter the merry-go-round of nowhere. I will use a simple example:



You have to crack them open like a walnut buddy. And pay attention. The answers are all there. You can delve into their psyche in any manner and as far as you wish.

Tenacity, this post really speaks to you. You have complained endlessly about your inability to create quality connections, and the 5 or 6 quality contenders that you did manage to meet, you chased away. This is because your communications are too superficial and shallow. There is no depth in your connections (you have heard this before). You have talent in attracting women, but I would encourage you to work on connecting deeper to forge greater quality connections with your prospects.

Explain that last example text. Digging deeper, she felt left out and wanted to be more of a priority. How would you go about pushing her buttons and opening her up more to a connection. I think with tenacity, he's got the confidence and attraction down, but hasn't built enough comfort for her to open fully.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

I think that if she is gaming you with the 24 hour response time, and where it's been consistently close to 24 hours - it does feel like she is gaming you. If you match it, the upside is that she'll know you're onto her BS, but the downside is showing her that it bothers you.
I'd say hit her back in random intervals, but never earlier than 30 minutes - this random pattern puts out a much stronger scent of "I don't give a crap" and would be more likely to trigger her interest than gaming her back. IDGAF is the vibe that you need to transmit, especially early in a relationship.

I hate when women do that BS. Another one I hate is when you know they saw your Facebook message in a notification preview (if it was short) but never opens the actual message so you can see the "read" time, until much later, and then responding even later than that. That always feels like the electronic equivalent of a yawn and a shrug. F-that.