Response to game playing

[Glassguy]

One fcking date? Seriously??????

Next her sh!tty ass. C-ya.....Bye Bye.

When she asks later what happened to you (because she misses you being on a string) tell her that you werent into texting all fvcking week to have a 3 sentence convo with her and youre moving on.

 

[Die Hard]

Some good responses, guys. Thanks! Like others said, I feel that returning the favor and also intentionally waiting a long time yourself, shows that her behavior bothers you. You should maintain frame by doing what you want instead of entering her frame by displaying the same childish behavior.
So responding with a "normal" delay, basically whenever you feel like it, seems to be the best way to handle this type of behavior.

I think that's also what Panty Whisperer said. Only difference is that you can respond with random intervals ON PURPOSE, as part of intentionally following a strategy....whereas you can also respond with random intervals NATURALLY, as a result of simply responding whenever you have the time and feel like it.

[B]@guru[/B]: I'm sorry but your last reply to me is really incoherent, I can't make much sense of it. Can you be more clear in explaining your thought process?

My question is quite simple but I'll put it another way. How do you respond in situations like these when you encounter them? If your answer is that you ask for the date, then my question is would you wait a long time or just reply as soon as you have time (or something else altogether?)

Perhaps youre convinced that I'm overthinking and that you would reinforce my overthinking by answering my question. Fair enough, yuo would have a point. But I don't see you clearly stating that this is the reason why you refuse to answer my question. So perhaps you can explain yourself?

 

[guru1000]

DH, we are not connecting because when you ask a question such as "When should I respond back," I don't interpret it as a literal question as I know you are a seasoned DJ here for seven years and the question is extremely fundamental. Accordingly, your "When should I respond" question is interpreted (to me) in a deeper sense to mean "When does 'game' need to be applied in the context of phone courtship?" And thus my response to you.

You text/call back whenever you want to is the answer. You worry about sounding needy. But does not this worry place too much emphasis on HER, and no emphasis on YOU? My questions to you are: 1) When do YOU feel like responding; 2) Why are you so outcome dependent (a/k/a why do you give a fvck so much?)

You countered with, "But game needs to be applied. I just can't call her within two seconds of meeting her as it would seem needy." I disagree wholly. An action--alone--is not the exhibition of neediness. The intent is. If you are needy, then no actions will disguise the sub-communications you promote in person. And if you DGAF, no actions will disguise the sub-communications you promote in person. Sure, texts can be misconstrued, but if she has already met you, then she knows what she is dealing with.

Would it surprise you to know that after my first dates, on at least two dozen occasions, I called the girl within 5-10 minutes of leaving her to schedule a second date! By your reasoning, she would automatically reject me because I look needy, correct? When I ask for the date, I'm in a I-D-G-A-F mindset, l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y. So really it doesn't matter when I ask for the date, as long as I ask for it.

Last, I assume the very premise for which you ask this question (as a seasoned DJ) is already a surrender of the frame as you do give a f*ck too much. Resultantly, you are needy, and hence the question. Thus, it doesn't matter when you ask for the date, because there will likely be no second date (unless she's needy herself)!

 

[yuppaz]

Gotta say, if it's pretty clear she is playing games, she is either:

1. Doing it for fun, because she is bored or just a ***** or
2. Doing it because she likes you

Only way to find out which is to ask her out. Next time she reaches out to you you should text her back between the hours of 6:30 a.m. and 7:45 a.m. (before work) or 5:00 and 7:00 p.m. (because before that you are busy working, and after that you are busy taking out other girls (as far as she is concerned) and just ask her when she is free to get together.

If she is interested, she will come out. If she isn't she will hem and haw and you can just tell her to reach out if she changes her mind (then just f*ck and Ch*ck a girl like that...low interest long term no good).

 

[Die Hard]

NOW you're making sense, Guru. Thanks.

I understand your point, and I agree with it.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

It does seem like there isnt much interest... Find other people to talk to instead. If she contacts you and demonstrates any interest then great, if not then no loss.

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

I've encountered this behavior myself and caught myself thinking about it. The best answer is to immediately downgrade them to the bottom of the list, don't reach out, and invest minimum energy in communicating with them. It's basically nexting them, if they text you back a day later I might not even respond or if I do it's a few days after they did. Sometimes if I'm feeling like being an ass I'll respond and say "sorry I'm really only interested in women who can hold a conversation good luck!"

Doesn't score you any points but it's good to practice not putting up with dumb **** and having standards. If she was into you she wouldn't be acting this way in the first place. She might not even be mentally or emotionally avaliable and just seeking attention. Regardless it's a waste of time.

 

[ZTIME]

DH, we are not connecting because when you ask a question such as "When should I respond back," I don't interpret it as a literal question as I know you are a seasoned DJ here for seven years and the question is extremely fundamental. Accordingly, your "When should I respond" question is interpreted (to me) in a deeper sense to mean "When does 'game' need to be applied in the context of phone courtship?" And thus my response to you.

You text/call back whenever you want to is the answer. You worry about sounding needy. But does not this worry place too much emphasis on HER, and no emphasis on YOU? My questions to you are: 1) When do YOU feel like responding; 2) Why are you so outcome dependent (a/k/a why do you give a fvck so much?)

You countered with, "But game needs to be applied. I just can't call her within two seconds of meeting her as it would seem needy." I disagree wholly. An action--alone--is not the exhibition of neediness. The intent is. If you are needy, then no actions will disguise the sub-communications you promote in person. And if you DGAF, no actions will disguise the sub-communications you promote in person. Sure, texts can be misconstrued, but if she has already met you, then she knows what she is dealing with.

Would it surprise you to know that after my first dates, on at least two dozen occasions, I called the girl within 5-10 minutes of leaving her to schedule a second date! By your reasoning, she would automatically reject me because I look needy, correct? When I ask for the date, I'm in a I-D-G-A-F mindset, l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y. So really it doesn't matter when I ask for the date, as long as I ask for it.

Last, I assume the very premise for which you ask this question (as a seasoned DJ) is already a surrender of the frame as you do give a f*ck too much. Resultantly, you are needy, and hence the question. Thus, it doesn't matter when you ask for the date, because there will likely be no second date (unless she's needy herself)!

Good stuff right here!!

Lots of guys here on SS tend to way over think the way women will perceive them. They tend to forget to live life for themselves not the perception of others.

I stumble into these ruts occasionally and I'm happy to read posts like these as a reminder.

Thank you for that.

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

Hmm, I remember once me and a female were texting back and fourth and sometimes she would take days to answer my texts. Finally I just came out and asked her why it took so long, her response was that she needed time to think about her answers before she replied.

Bingo Bango!!

I said to myself if it was Chris Hemsworth or Brad Pitt you wouldn't wait one second to respond to his texts, there would be no "thought process" involved.

Then it also donned on me that if a woman is talking "logical" about what should be automatically emotional (you're either attracted to someone or you're not). It just simply means she's overridden her natural state and that is one that should be emotional which means that you either failed to arouse this state in her and or she's just chemically and physically not attracted.

Either way you should relegate her to a lower status and if she comes back around pump and dump or just ignore her. The older I get the more I'm just inclined to ignore females like this because I personally believe that females with low interest levels are not only a waste of time and frustrating to the men that have to deal with them but they also pose a physical, mental, emotional and spirtual danger. YES they can get you in trouble with the law and killed.

I had coworker who used to deal with subpar and low interest females alot, classic nice guy, I tried to warn him over and over but one day he got setup by one and she killed him and then robbed him.

One of the worst things men can do in life is keep on dealing with a low intrest female. They hate men like this and view them as pests. Think about it how do you feel about a fly that keeps bugging in your ear all day. It gets to be a nuisance right? Spend that time on females who actually like you that's why these kunts have such a cat up their ass anyway, they treat us badly because too many men enable their delusion. They eat, sleep, shiit and die just like we do. Begging a biitch for a date? GTFOH

And for the original poster I apologize in advance for both hijacking your thread and if my words seem scolding they aren't really directed at you but men in general.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Yes, the low interest female is a black hole of time/effort investment. I'm guilty of falling into that abyss, thinking I can turn the tide with charm and/or persistence, but if it's not there right away, it's not going to be. No one wants to be Ducky in Pretty In Pink. Anytime I get Friend Zoned or even think it's going that way I bail. I don't need female friends. They make the worst friends on the planet.

 

[guru1000]

Explain that last example text. Digging deeper, she felt left out and wanted to be more of a priority. How would you go about pushing her buttons and opening her up more to a connection. I think with tenacity, he's got the confidence and attraction down, but hasn't built enough comfort for her to open fully.

Once she opens up a little, use that as a segue to open her up further, until you reach the "meat" of her need. Then service the need covertly. Take a look at this post:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/double-header-bangs-and-a-friend.235530/#post-2356447