Resisting the urge to smack down GF's orbiters

[Thorninmyside]

I've gone official/exclusive with one of a few girls I've been dating, a real stunner who despite being quite shy in the real world, relies to a certain extent on social media for her profile as a model, car rally girl, tv extra... you know, pretty face for hire. Her facebook and instagram show her attending events, looking sexy, hanging in bikini with her hot friends etc.. and of course it has contact details of her agent for work. I know the power of social marketing and I support her profile building.

Anyways, the comments from her online orbiters regularly consist of drooly desperado pickup attempts, sexy talk, countless requests for her snapchat, wechat, whatsapp (she doesn't have any of them), "hey, inbox me. We should talk" etc.. well you know what I mean. You've seen the type of thing.

How do I stay strong dating someone who is the target of a lot of lust from these fools? Yes, I'm the one bedding her, they're the losers on instagram thinking they stand a chance... still messes with my head a little. If someone spoke to her in person in my presence in the manner of some of the comments, I'd wanna see them eat dirt pronto.

Ignore it? Unfollow her social media? In a weaker time I probably would have used her accounts to block the morons, but this is an internal thing for me to overcome and is the nature of her work.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Yes this is the nature of her work and some of her comments may continue the lust chat on because it is fun for her and entertaining for her "fans". She might even cheat on you but figures if she comes home and is still bedding you you are fine.

Personally I would not be on there unless you can laugh about it all.

Keep in mind the nature of that work too, so she might be taking occasional pipe outside of you. Maybe you have to be cool about that too.

If she has to take occasional pipe outside of you, to keep her industry happy or to have the right image, I'd have another female outside of her.

Good luck, stay in shape, exploding or getting angry behind all this does not help you one bit. You have to be cool. You have to make her feel good.

 

[nemz]

Ignore it completely, or you lose.

Why would you even care about these guys, they'll only be a issue if you **** up and that's your problem not theirs?

 

[Tictac]

What did you say to yourself when you were one of them?

 

[Thorninmyside]

What did you say to yourself when you were one of them?

I never was, dad.

I still wouldn't talk to her the way some of these clowns do. I guess they see the fantasy girl and I need to separate that from the girl I'm with because one is just an image and the other I care about too much about to screw it up with over orbiters. Consider it case closed. I'll get out of Nismo's court now

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Don't worry about her social media. Go to the gym, make sure your giving her a great time, continue to improve and grow as a man and life and world skills.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Good advice DLS. I just need to keep being the guy she wanted to date, in the first place, only better by the day.

 

[ProDJ26]

I don't see the problem....your're banging her and shes with you thus increases your "status" so to speak

 

[Julian]

I learned that going exclusive with a chick is a personal death sentence for being alpha. Srs

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

You'll be had pressed to find a bird who isn't in this situation right now. The whole thing used to wind me up to, but as has been said, ignorance is bliss. Confront her, and the behaviour is driven underground, you become more paranoid and you lose. Confront them, you look weak and you lose.

Social media is BS. Connecting with a woman of interest on social media is like moving in with them; you start finding out dirty little secrets and it probably shouldn't happen unless you are married.

Most important is her behaviour toward you, and in real time.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Ignore it. It's apart of her job. You think Scarlett Johansson's husband gets mad when I write "I wanna fūck your eyes straight" on her FB page?

Deal with it or date an uglier chick.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It bothers you for two reasons. One, you are insecure and your inner game is weak (sounds like you already know this). Two, subconsciously you realize that, given the nature of her work, she gets hit on by guys all the time. Some of them may be "drooling desperados", but I'm sure the are also dudes who are wealthy and/or in a position to help her advance her career. Unless you are completely naive, you would know that "modelling" is only one step away from prostitution. These chicks sell their looks and oftentimes have to go the extra mile to get a gig (this also applies to "aspiring" actresses). The chances of this girl remaining loyal to you in the long run are not very high, so take for what it is and don't try to wife her up.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Lel you "support" her work?

Orbiters are part of it. If a chick posts her naked body online all the time its inevitable. And why would you develop feelings for a girl who does modeling I mean its recepie for a broken heart couse be real, a girl like that fcks more than one guy at a time, no matter how well mannered and polite and from a nice famly or whatever,

the cookie jar is there and no way around it. You may be exclusive to her but she aint exclusive to you.

Id say this is a classic recepie for a "jealous BF" case which is like the lowest a dude can sink.

Get a new GF or deal with it, but you obv dont "support" her work. But Ive spent a long long time with one of these girls that even other women want to fuk, like everyone used to say "shes perfect". The trick is to be completely and absolutely cool and calm and never show jealousy and ofc show her that you are willing to walk away any second. It does WORK this way but...

I got a girlfriend of mine, she claims that the newest trend is some absolutely cool dudes to date ugly women while the pretty ones stay single and fuk around. Well, I know that this doesnt mean they are fithfull at all (remember, all women is hoes and that is a constant), but maybe it makes the dudes feel better.

The major downside of a stunner for a GF is, it sets the standarts too high, if you hang on to her for too long, you will feel the negative effect after that.

 

[ucde]

I've gone official/exclusive with one of a few girls I've been dating, a real stunner who despite being quite shy in the real world, relies to a certain extent on social media for her profile as a model, car rally girl, tv extra... you know, pretty face for hire. Her facebook and instagram show her attending events, looking sexy, hanging in bikini with her hot friends etc.. and of course it has contact details of her agent for work. I know the power of social marketing and I support her profile building.

Anyways, the comments from her online orbiters regularly consist of drooly desperado pickup attempts, sexy talk, countless requests for her snapchat, wechat, whatsapp (she doesn't have any of them), "hey, inbox me. We should talk" etc.. well you know what I mean. You've seen the type of thing.

How do I stay strong dating someone who is the target of a lot of lust from these fools? Yes, I'm the one bedding her, they're the losers on instagram thinking they stand a chance... still messes with my head a little. If someone spoke to her in person in my presence in the manner of some of the comments, I'd wanna see them eat dirt pronto.

Ignore it? Unfollow her social media? In a weaker time I probably would have used her accounts to block the morons, but this is an internal thing for me to overcome and is the nature of her work.

Props on seeing it as work on yourself, and not as a way of externally protecting the relationship.

Look into yourself, ask questions like: "Why do I think some random dude on Instagram is going to destroy my relationship with a flirty message?"

I'm not saying your situation wouldn't be challenging for me, props and respect for the intensity of it. But the nature of inner work, work on the self, is that everything that we generally view as threatening, is actually more just triggering insecurities.

Look at it this way: a part of you, really doesn't believe in the strength and solidity of the relationship, if you think stray sexual attention is going to displace you. A part of you doesn't trust and believe in that bond. And its very likely an insecure fragment of yourself that may have been hurt in a past relationship. Heal that sh1t, if you can, and walk unafraid. I can hardly imagine the 3-line online pickup message that dislodges a loving man from his place in relationship; I think the scenario may be a fiction of your own spinning.

But lest you think I'm advising you from a higher place, I'll tell you I have the same insecure parts of myself and I am working on them, albeit in a less high profile situation than your own.

 

[Casillas]

"With great power comes great responsibility". If you don't want to feel jealous date an ugly girl. So assume the "consecuences" of dating a hot girl. Try to Keep your mind busy, focus on yourself and act like you don't even check her social media.

 

[Frostman]

My GF cousin is a topless model who does lay outs for magazines. Her BF found out last week she was giving blow jobs to her orbiters in exchange for connections. Guess she was banging men to get the jobs she was posing for. Be aware and don't ignore any suspicious behaviours.

 

[weaponx]

I've gone official/exclusive with one of a few girls I've been dating, a real stunner who despite being quite shy in the real world, relies to a certain extent on social media for her profile as a model, car rally girl, tv extra... you know, pretty face for hire. Her facebook and instagram show her attending events, looking sexy, hanging in bikini with her hot friends etc.. and of course it has contact details of her agent for work. I know the power of social marketing and I support her profile building.

Anyways, the comments from her online orbiters regularly consist of drooly desperado pickup attempts, sexy talk, countless requests for her snapchat, wechat, whatsapp (she doesn't have any of them), "hey, inbox me. We should talk" etc.. well you know what I mean. You've seen the type of thing.

How do I stay strong dating someone who is the target of a lot of lust from these fools? Yes, I'm the one bedding her, they're the losers on instagram thinking they stand a chance... still messes with my head a little. If someone spoke to her in person in my presence in the manner of some of the comments, I'd wanna see them eat dirt pronto.

Ignore it? Unfollow her social media? In a weaker time I probably would have used her accounts to block the morons, but this is an internal thing for me to overcome and is the nature of her work.

In all honesty if it's bothering you that much don't bother checking her social media or you'll only drive yourself into an insane, insecure wreck.

You can think of 1,001 things she might be doing, could be, will be etc. but it does YOU no good at all. Doesn't mean "100%" she is, will etc.

Just remember that if something ever does happen to be the best person you can be. Work out, dress, groom your best, keep socially open and friendly, and most of all be a complete person on your own WITH or WITHOUT her if things wind up not working out. That's the toughest part. To not rely on living vicariously through another person no matter who they are. You need to be the same best version of yourself as you should have been before, while, and after her or if you'd never even met her.

You cannot control what she or others are going to do. Only yourself. Always remember good things CAN come to an end. That's life. Doesn't mean it's 100% "certain" to.

Just keep doing you. She is with you. If things end LEARN and GROW from it. Not become negative, paranoid, insecure and jaded as those things do nothing positive for you.

You really have to ingrain what I've said in your mind, believe it, live it and let it become you. It's tough but don't focus on the negative. Focus on the positive and ignore all that orbiting crap and social media. Again you, I or any of us cannot control it.

 

[Thorninmyside]

^^^
Such an awesome response! Thank you for the encouragement. I will follow this to the letter

 

[Thorninmyside]

I know I too am a catch and this is how he sees me, but past failures took my confidence a little and I just need to build that back up.

 

[El Payaso]

She should be the one worried about your female orbiters not the other way around.

The moment you start getting worried, you've lost. You'll try to hide it but your insecurity will start to reveal itself until you expose all your playing cards.

Her number of orbiters will likely only continue to increase as time goes. Why you decided to become exclusive with an attention wh0re when you can't handle it is beyond me.