Relationship with HB 9 crumbled

[Snowman23]

so I was dating this girl for about 3 months, everything was going good, very pretty, good personality. I'd call her sometimes and be like "what's going on tonight?" and she'd say "oh we're going to so and so party, and then off to this bar." at first I thought "this chick seems pretty cool." The problem is, this behavior continued. she partied a lot and had a lot of guy friends. now I don't think she cheated on me, I just wasn't expecting all this. she has a lot of facebook friends, and goes to a lot of different events. I kept my cool and never showed my jealousy until recently.

anyway I was out of town for a couple days at a buddies bachelor party (she never displayed one iota of concern) and decided to give her a call. this was at like 10:30 pm. so she answers and I hear music and a bunch of people in the backround. she's partying... again. I was pretty frustrated and said "You went out... again?" she said "... what?" like she was confused. I was like "You just went out. Is this all you do? she said "I'm out with my friends." in an angry tone. I was like "okay talk to ya later."

me and my buddies started drinking and I called her back. I said "seriously is there anything else you like to do besides partying? a couple people warned me about this from you. this is why your last relationship ended with your ex isn't it?" to which she replied "that's none of your business... I have no reason to talk to you right now." I could hear someone in the backround say "just hang up the phone. by this time I'm really p!ssed and hang up... I call her back again, she answers and says "you're freaking me out". I told her "whatever, you got some major issues you need to deal with." she said "don't bother calling me anymore", and hung up. by this time I was pretty drunk and even more upset. so I call her back the first words out of her mouth were "what did I tell you about calling me!?" and hung up.

in hindsight, the situation went out of control pretty quickly, but damnit, this is how I felt. any opinions on what happened here? can I salvage?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

so I was dating this girl for about 3 months, everything was going good, very pretty, good personality. I'd call her sometimes and be like "what's going on tonight?" and she'd say "oh we're going to so and so party, and then off to this bar." at first I thought "this chick seems pretty cool." The problem is, this behavior continued.

Your dating this girl.... which means you were NOT exclusive right?? Well, if that's the case she's one of many you should be talking to, which is clearly what she was/is doing. Seems like she understood the terms of agreement, but you started to like her more than she did.

she partied a lot and had a lot of guy friends. now I don't think she cheated on me, I just wasn't expecting all this.

I'm confused here.... why exactly didn't you expect?? Did you think she would stop going out as much just cause you two were "dating??" And find me a attractive girl that doesn't have a lot of guy friends. You can't get insecure about that $hit, it comes with the territory.

she has a lot of facebook friends, and goes to a lot of different events. I kept my cool and never showed my jealousy until recently.

This can't be good...

anyway I was out of town for a couple days at a buddies bachelor party (she never displayed one iota of concern) and decided to give her a call.

First mistake... your out for your buddy's bachelor party, calling a plate like she's your gf.

this was at like 10:30 pm. so she answers and I hear music and a bunch of people in the backround. she's partying... again. I was pretty frustrated and said "You went out... again?" she said "... what?" like she was confused. I was like "You just went out. Is this all you do? she said "I'm out with my friends." in an angry tone. I was like "okay talk to ya later."

She has every right to be pissed at you. Your out of town for a bachelor party!!!! And you expect her to be sitting at home watching a movie, waiting for you to get back. Again, this chick isn't your gf!!! Why are you acting like a control freak??

me and my buddies started drinking and I called her back. I said "seriously is there anything else you like to do besides partying? a couple people warned me about this from you.

Wow dude, you've completely lost control of your emotions. Mistake #2, tattoo this to your forehead, never call a chick when your drunk unless its setting up a booty call...

this is why your last relationship ended with your ex isn't it?" to which she replied "that's none of your business... I have no reason to talk to you right now." I could hear someone in the backround say "just hang up the phone. by this time I'm really p!ssed and hang up...

Dude your completely dunnnnn by this point; extreme jealousy, control issues and drunken blabber.

I call her back again, she answers and says "you're freaking me out". I told her "whatever, you got some major issues you need to deal with."

Sounds like your the guy with the issues man...

she said "don't bother calling me anymore", and hung up. by this time I was pretty drunk and even more upset. so I call her back the first words out of her mouth were "what did I tell you about calling me!?" and hung up.

Why are you calling her so much??? This is EXTREME AFC behavior!! Get a grip!!!

in hindsight, the situation went out of control pretty quickly, but damnit, this is how I felt. any opinions on what happened here? can I salvage?

This is beyond over!! This chick now thinks of you as a insecure, jealous, control freak, who by the sounds of what you wrote, wasn't all that into compared to your interest in her.

If you have any chance again with this chick, you need to apologize (yeah I said apologize, normally I'm not a fan of apologizing to girls) for your jack-@ss behavior. Blame it on your extreme drunk-ness, anything to make her believe that's not normal behavior for you.

Then leave her alone for a couple days and see if she's calmed down.


Whatever you do, DON'T flood her phone with calls. I'd write this one off as a loss.

PIMP

 

[Obey Propaganda]

I remember him posting a similar situation a couple months back. He doesn't learn.

 

[DonJuan11]

anyway I was out of town for a couple days at a buddies bachelor party (she never displayed one iota of concern) and decided to give her a call.

She doesn't care you are out of town or are going to a bachelor party, so you think its a good idea to phone her while you are there and remind her to care?

this was at like 10:30 pm. so she answers and I hear music and a bunch of people in the backround. she's partying... again. I was pretty frustrated

Why are you frustrated? Because she's not at home thinking about you? Come on dude, a good looking girl will do what she wants - she's enjoying herself. As soon as you get frustrated, you have given her emotional control.

and said "You went out... again?" she said "... what?" like she was confused. I was like "You just went out. Is this all you do? she said "I'm out with my friends." in an angry tone. I was like "okay talk to ya later."

Not a good idea to confront a girl over the phone while she's having fun with her friends. Not sexy dude.

I called her back. I said "seriously is there anything else you like to do besides partying? a couple people warned me about this from you. this is why your last relationship ended with your ex isn't it?"

Wow, after she tells you she's annoyed by the exact same question you asked 1 hour ago, you phone her back and persist to annoy her with the same type of question. Again, very not sexy.

to which she replied "that's none of your business... I have no reason to talk to you right now." I call her back again, she answers and says "you're freaking me out". I told her "whatever, you got some major issues you need to deal with." she said "don't bother calling me anymore", and hung up. by this time I was pretty drunk and even more upset. so I call her back the first words out of her mouth were "what did I tell you about calling me!?" and hung up.

Dude seriously, you think it's a good idea to contact her again? You are lucky the police aren't at your door arresting you for harassment.

 

[Snowman23]

guys, I tried to apologize and sent her a text.

me: can we talk about this? I was drunk and said some stupid things I shouldn't have.
her: you're really starting to freak me out. don't call this number anymore.

what a total b!tch

 

[worship]

guys, I tried to apologize and sent her a text.

me: can we talk about this? I was drunk and said some stupid things I shouldn't have.
her: you're really starting to freak me out. don't call this number anymore.

what a total b!tch

Wow dude you just keep making it worse and worse...

 

[chad2k5]

Call her again. She'll come around.

 

[realsmoothie]

Yeah, 'tis done. Let it go. If she has any interest in you at all after this SHE will get in contact with YOU.

Speaking from experience here, desperation gets you diddly-squat.

 

[Allurre]

If you're uncomfortable with her lifestyle, then drop her.

If your schedule and her's don't mesh, why waste time?

Get a woman that's a 9 inside out.

 

[Crimson Tide]

this girl thinks he's a fvcking stalker... but he wants to talk their problems out. :crackup:

 

[slaog]

You revealed your inner AFC to her and it turned her off completely. We've all been there. It's over with her but you can learn from it and never do it again.


Women can smell any sign of jealously a mile off and its a turn off for them. Always keep that in mind and work on yourself so that YOU don't feel jealous in future.


Girls who like to party are bad news. So its no loss.

 

[Energizer]

Call her again. She'll come around.

You just wanna read about him getting arrested.

 

[fertileTurtle]

You're an ass.

 

[Cabal]

This is such a train wreck I can't look away even though I know I should.

It's like that scene out of Swingers.

But not funny.

DUDE! NO!

I'm freaked out!

 

[game.r]

when she finally reports him to the cops and they seize his computer. It will be worst because they will find that he's been posting her picture all over the internet http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=164736

definitely obsessed... what a tool.

 

[Obey Propaganda]

Instead of insulting him, why don't you people give him some useful advice?

morons

 

[Cabal]

Obey Progaganda, you can't call us morons for not giving him good advice.

All you've done in this thread is give no advice, and tell everyone that he never learns.

So if you don't advise, and tell us he can't learn, why should we give him advice?

You just got owned.

 

[Ziniath]

Hey dude, I can understand the situation here - you just wanted to express your feelings.

The problem is you suppressed them when they first arose, rather than giving them the outlet they needed. What this lead to was a mini-explosion when you finally decided it was time for your voice to be heard.

My question is: why did you let it wait this long before you let it out?
Do you think this situation could have been avoided if you'd been honest in who you are and what you stand for right from the beginning?

Why do you have an issue with this girl partying? Are you afraid you'll lose her if you let her party? If so, why? What is it that you believe you're really lacking?

These aren't intended as an attack on you, brother, but rather questions you'll probably want to know the answer to so you can avoid anything like this happening againl.