Relationship Game - Intro

Rollo Tomassi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2004
Messages
5,309
Reaction score
340
Age
56
Location
Nevada
I'll have been married for 14 years in July and I can honestly say I've practiced every one of these tenets to varying degrees in that time. Mrs. Tomassi has never been insecure about a thing and even encourages several of these articles.

II. Make her jealous
Flirt with other women in front of her.
Naturally you don't want to appear to be seeking the flirtation, but rather playing along with it. I have encouraged or played along with casual flirtations with my wife present that leave her with the impression that other women find me desirable. When you've been together long enough and a strong emotional bond has formed, you will be surprised at how many sh!t tests and evaluations you can avoid just by her perception of you being a commodity that other women are attracted to. Mrs. Tomassi has told me on at least four occasions that she finds it flattering that other women would find me attractive.

The trick to this is how you follow up after flirting. She has to be made to feel as though she's still the one you choose to be with even though you have obvious, provable options. Women are always unconsciously evaluating the men they are with. Her self-worth is associated with his value. This is exactly why women in the stablest of relationships will still sh!t test. There are precious few ways for a Man in a long standing LTR to demonstrate higher value better than flirting, or reciprocating a flirt with other women. Nothing stimulates a tired LTR like suspicion and jealousy. Her Imagination is the most important tool in your DJ tool box. Women don't want a man to cheat, but they love a Man who could cheat, but stays with her. That's the source of the flattery for her.

Far too many guys are too fearful to even attempt this because they subscribe to a scarcity mentality (see Rule 16)

This then dovetails nicely into,...
VII. Always keep two in the kitty
Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need.
I understand this may be a very tall order for most men, particularly those with scarcity mentalities. However, I would interpret this less as spinning plates while in an LTR and instead replace it with keeping your options open. One reason to flirt in front of your LTR is to establish the suspicion that you have those options. Again this goes back to being a man who could cheat, but chooses not to. Men think that their dependability and steadfastness makes for a sexualized woman - it doesn't.

I'll be clear, I've never cheated on Mrs. Tomassi, but I do know I would be balls deep in pussie if we ever did split. I know this because I experience the receptiveness of women to whom I do flirt with. I know I'm in better shape, have more Game and possess higher status and value than 90% of the men in my peer group. So keeping two in the kitty for me is knowing that I CAN generate options if necessary.


V. Adhere to the golden ratio
Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you.
This isn't hard once you internalize it. Too many guys think Game is a waste of time because it means a constant memorization of scripts and gestures that they can never hope to master in every situation for every eventuality. And they'd be right - if all they did was try to commit everything to rote memorization. But as any good teacher will tell you, that's not learning. Once the golden ratio becomes part of who you are it's effortless and becomes your default response. Remember this is an outline. I don't think aloud to myself "hmmm, well Mrs. Tomassi gave me 3 kisses this morning, I must remember to give her only 2 when I get home from work." It's an outline for a principle that you need to get the 'feel' for. The point isn't trying to keep some scorecard of t!t for tat exchanges. The effect you're establishing is,..
it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,062
Reaction score
8,902
@ zekko. The Sixteen Commandments of Poon were written by a guy call Roissy. I read them some time ago. I agree with you that most of them seem like stuff you would need early in a relationship
Just to clarify, I wasn't talking about "most of them", I was referring specifically to the three commandments I had an issue with.

Look, I'm the kind of guy who, when someone gives me 16 points to follow, I'm not going to follow them. I'll evaluate them and throw out the ones I don't agree with. At the end of the day I'm going to follow my own convictions, I'm just stubborn that way.

Everybody's different, and they should be. A style that works well for one might work better for someone else if it's tweaked a little first. On to Rollo's points:

Naturally you don't want to appear to be seeking the flirtation, but rather playing along with it. I have encouraged or played along with casual flirtations with my wife present that leave her with the impression that other women find me desirable.
Flirting can be defined in different ways, and there are a lot of different degrees and extremes to which it can be done. I agree you should never give up being playful with other women. However, the point I was trying to make is there is a LINE that should not be crossed. That line is where it becomes disrespect. If you would not put up with your girl disrespecting you, you should not be disrespecting her. That's the way I feel anyway, YMMV.

I understand this may be a very tall order for most men, particularly those with scarcity mentalities. However, I would interpret this less as spinning plates while in an LTR and instead replace it with keeping your options open. One reason to flirt in front of your LTR is to establish the suspicion that you have those options. Again this goes back to being a man who could cheat, but chooses not to. Men think that their dependability and steadfastness makes for a sexualized woman - it doesn't.
"Keep two in the kitty". Again, I don't even know what this is supposed to mean. Do you have two girls you keep up a sort of affair with , telling them "hang on, your turn is coming if my current girl messes up"? How specifically do you keep "two in the kitty"?

The point is to have options. The point is my girl knows I could get another girl if I wanted, we both know that. If she left my life wouldn't be over. We're together because we choose to be, not because I have to be.

This isn't hard once you internalize it. Too many guys think Game is a waste of time because it means a constant memorization of scripts and gestures that they can never hope to master in every situation for every eventuality. And they'd be right - if all they did was try to commit everything to rote memorization. But as any good teacher will tell you, that's not learning. Once the golden ratio becomes part of who you are it's effortless and becomes your default response.
I'm saying why bother with the "golden ratio" in the first place? Seems to me the same mindset could be accomplished by saying "don't give her as much as she gives you" or "don't give her more than she gives you". Seems to me what is important here is the mindset, not the 2/3 ratio.

If you're going to say "I can only give her 67% of what she gives me" just so she knows I am superior to her and I can feel like I am a big man, that just sounds a little pathetic to me, and immature. Head games.
This is a great tip for a guy who is just learning and might have a tendency to go all out and spoil some girl, in a misguided effort to impress her. It doesn't sound so ideal for a LTR IMO. Just keep the frame, and forget about the 2/3 business.

These commandments to some extent seem to be ways to convince your girl (and perhaps yourself) of your value. I would say that if you really have true value you don't have to bother with these head games.
 

englishman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2002
Messages
650
Reaction score
33
Location
amerika
Rescue Mission said:
Plus, like I said on your other thread, a single mom is a worthless piece of irresponsible selfish crap of a woman to have anything to do with more than just using her for sex.
You need a rescue mission ya fukkin idiot. Why is every single mother irresponsible and to blame? I know tons of guys who got a chick pregnant and then bailed after sweet talking her into bed. Maybe you'll know men who have done that to, you know... some time in the future after youve lost your viginity and stopped mouthing it off on the internet. idiot!

Here take a look its free http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogyny
 

DJjazzyJeff

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 22, 2003
Messages
140
Reaction score
3
Age
42
I'm looking forward to this discussion. I've always found it odd how little this place focuses on LTRs when an LTR is exactly what brought most people here. I'm especially interested because a 5 year relationship I was in just ended. I have a child with her and so I feel a little guilty about raising my son separately from his mother. Anyway, I'm excited to see where this goes and maybe in the process I can point out AND figure out some of the places where my relationship went wrong.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,062
Reaction score
8,902
I've always found it odd how little this place focuses on LTRs when an LTR is exactly what brought most people here.
There seems to be an underlying message on this site that real men do not have LTRs, they should be spreading their seed like monkeys swinging through trees like nature intended. That the pump and dump is the height of male potential. BS. Not very life affirming, if you ask me.
 

boynamedsue

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2010
Messages
56
Reaction score
1
I agree, most advice and responses I see given are almost always "next her", "she's cheating" "spin more plates" etc. What I'd like to see is more expereinced people advise "here is what you did wrong, which lead her to feel or think this. Options you have are xxx or xxx. What I would do is xxxx because I have seen xxxx happen but good luck.". This example seems more profound rather than, " next her she's blowing somone else"
 

game.r

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
136
Reaction score
4
There seems to be an underlying message on this site that real men do not have LTRs, they should be spreading their seed like monkeys swinging through trees like nature intended. That the pump and dump is the height of male potential. BS. Not very life affirming, if you ask me.
I agree, most advice and responses I see given are almost always "next her", "she's cheating" "spin more plates" etc. What I'd like to see is more expereinced people advise "here is what you did wrong, which lead her to feel or think this. Options you have are xxx or xxx. What I would do is xxxx because I have seen xxxx happen but good luck.". This example seems more profound rather than, " next her she's blowing somone else"
My sentiments exactly, this is what led me to start this thread. I have started the next thread that encourages guys to make sure they are ready for a relationship before entering one. Most guys just say next, next, next... never considering that they may have huge problems themselves...

see link below..

Relationship Game - Are you ready for a relationship?
 

boynamedsue

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2010
Messages
56
Reaction score
1
I like the idea of that thread. I'm just waiting on someone to either put a recent problem that I can give advice to or see what tips some people have. I lovvvvved rollos 16 rules, its just that seems more of a trigger to do early on. If anyone has any tips or advixe on when a girl you have been on and off with and your noticing a drop in interest level applies adivce. The common thing is to withdraw your self and of course "next or spin more plates." Just wanted to see what otheroptions there are.
 

game.r

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
136
Reaction score
4
boynamedsue said:
I like the idea of that thread. I'm just waiting on someone to either put a recent problem that I can give advice to or see what tips some people have. I lovvvvved rollos 16 rules, its just that seems more of a trigger to do early on. If anyone has any tips or advixe on when a girl you have been on and off with and your noticing a drop in interest level applies adivce. The common thing is to withdraw your self and of course "next or spin more plates." Just wanted to see what otheroptions there are.
Eventually we're going to get to that. But I want guys to look at themselves first, then look outward. I'm working from the premise that we are the foundation of a successful relationship and the decisions we make early on will greatly impact whether it is successful or not.
 
Top