Relationship ENDED after 2.5 years.. Need Advice Badly..

[xero88]

The last time I was on this forum was exactly 2.5 years ago. The advice was wonderful, I got the girl of my dream. Now my girlfriend and I broke up after 2.5 years of dating. She wanted a break, since she heading into college this year she going to be really busy. Working + Studying. We had a short break, she wanted to clear her head. We didn't call each other or make any contact during the short break. Then all of a sudden she called me up, saying.. she made her decision and is better off if we break up b/c she going to be really busy coming up this fall and she in a lot of stress.. I play it cool, saying if you really wanted that then I support your decision.. Then later I thought it over, and called her back trying to get back with her by reminding her about the past and the good times we had and it would be sad if we threw it all away.

Later on she told me if we were meant to be, we'll be together in the future. Later on she blocks me online, and doesn't pick up my phone call anymore. She quickly went on 'myspace' and change her status to single. This girl is very intelligent and hard working. Lately we haven't spend enough time together and had a huge arguement which lead to this.

At this point, I'm just really depress and don't know what to do. I seriously thought she was the one. But she kept on telling me we're still young (19 years old.) DJ's, what should I do? Keep trying ? Or give up and just forget about the 2.5 years we had together and find somebody else?

UPDATE**
There this other guy that constantly flirt with my ex-girl. I never met him before. Pretty much we've been having arguement, and this guy is being the emotional tampon. This is bull****, and there this new girl that is always there for my ex, which I never before as well. I don't want to do harm or anything to these people, bc i honestly don't think violence solve anything. But what I do from here, I've win her back somehow by not being desperate or needy, bc this girl I've broken up w/ her a few times but she always manage to keep out relationship strong and she help me with so much in life. I cant just throw it all away, w/o doing one last thing and see how that goes.

 

[soxfan31]

The hardest thing is letting a girl you are in love with make her own decisions, and thats what you have to do. You give her distance, force yourself to see whats out there. Don't wait for her to change her mind, because that will be going down a self-destructive path. Tell yourself and believe that shes making a big mistake.

 

[KontrollerX]

If she was a quality woman for you she wouldn't of gave you up.

You're the prize man.

Start believing that.

She didn't even respect you enough to do this in person.

You deserve much better than that my friend.

Grieve for a while if you need to but then start looking for someone who will give you all that you deserve out of a relationship in life.

If this chick comes crawling back at some point and you are free at that moment take her on a little trip for a week somewhere fvck her brains out and then tell her you never want anything to do with her again.

Its the only thing she deserves.

Anyway to help you heal if you need it you can check out feelingloved's support thread.

 

[ReeHumphrey]

Yikes, sorry about the news man; 2 and a half years is a long time, but trust me it'll take MUCH less time for you to heal and get back to casting another line out into the sea, brother.

I know what you mean when it hurts, and believe me, it's horrible, but letting her go is the best option anyway. She blames stress and school work, but in reality she just wants to party it up and do whatever without being dragged down by a relationship: last thing you need is a ***** for a g/f.

So drop her, do your best to keep busy, hang out with your friends every chance you get, and avoid sulking alone as much as possible. It's almost like trying to quit smoking: you gotta stay away from the cigarettes themselves and anything/anyone that will remind you and make you want to smoke again.

 

[ValleyDJing]

You're a young man don't do it! 2.5 years?! Jesus Christ...what were you thinking? You didn't get bored after like a month? Fuk as many girls as humanly possible from here on out. You have 2.5 years to make up for.

 

[Cremasta]

The last time I was on this forum was exactly 2.5 years ago. The advice was wonderful, I got the girl of my dream.

Go out and do this again. You've got the skills, you've done it before... you're just a bit rusty. Two and a half years of stability sometimes means you can lose your edge... do you think if you stopped playing a sport for that amount of time you could just pick up again at the same level? It's the same thing.

This is just an opportunity to trade up.

 

[LittleBigOne]

You are not alone in this situation. I broke up with my gf two weeks ago. We were together since march 2005. She suddenly had to need to travel, to explore the world, needed freedom bla blah blah. Let her go was the only option, her needs are at this moment totally different. A relationship is not what she wants this moment and she is young too.
Maybe it is a good idea to not take her decision too personal and, like the others here say, move on with your life by doing things with friends, hobbies and things like that. But i know it is not easy, i walk around in my appartment as a zombie the last few days because i am in my holiday.
However, i think it is really not nice from her to stop all the contact with you but maybe talking to you is for her emotional and she starts to get doubts over her own decision. Looks your gf wants to feel 'real' freedom My ex gf keeps contact with me and we have good conversations. So i think thats good but if she wants me back she will pay a prize!! I am not for granted and she knows!

Make fun and don't waist your time!

 

[benjiprice]

Find comfort in this: We all thought we had "the one". It's so pervasive that seduction books even have this documented! Think about that...How is it possible that so many guys seem to have lost "the one". I mean, shouldn't it be hard to find her? If she's so hard to find, then why have we all found her, maybe even more than once!

Add to that that you often realize that she's "the one" _after_ she breaks up with you. It's just your pain playing tricks on you. You'll think back and only remember the good times, how glorious and lovely they were. You'll forget the bad times, the boredom and her bull****.

Be sure that there is no "one". There will be women who approximate what you want better than others. But probably the biggest problem is that you don't actually know what you want. For me a kickass woman would combine traits of 2 of my ex's, and yet each one independently is lacking. And yes they were "the one" too.

And yet despite the relationships i've had, I'm still not sure I know what I want. For example, I've never been with a girl who can genuinely make me laugh. Maybe if I had been, that would be an important trait for me to look for. Maybe that's just the trait I'll need in my partner when I'm 90 yrs old and pissin in a bed pan.

In any case, this is like speaking logically to a woman. You can't just come out of this through "logic". It can only take you so far. You need other things in your life to start buffering your current emotions. You need other emotions in your life that start eating away at these and leave you no time to feel or think about her.

 

[theunflushables]

xero, I know it doesnt feel like this now, but this breakup is a good thing. You're young and you have to have your freedom. It sounds like you started dating this girl in HS if you're 19. Think if you had stayed together you'd have got married, had kids, go poor trying to raise said kids, your wife starts looking like a mess. When you tell people that you married your HS sweetheart they secretly laugh or hide their disgust. Its a pretty depressing life man.

But now you're free to be your own man! Go out and do something for yourself.

Things get better I promise. I've found "the one" like 3 or 4 times, but I think their may be a limit of 5 so I've got to be picky.

 

[the_law]

xero88, I feel your pain! I broke up with the girl I thought I was going to marry about 6months ago, and in those 6 months I've only met 2 new girls! Met a few x's too in the time, so wasn't all bad, but I'm having really bad problems trying to meet new girls. I know lots of girls, through work, friends etc. When out with friends if there's some girls in the fray, if they are part of the group I'm in then I generally don't have any issues interacting with them, but I always seem to mess something up! As regards just going up to a complete stranger, I get nervous. I try it, but alot of the time these girls give me the "it'd be nice to be friends" line or something. Years ago I used to have no problems chatting up girls, myself and a mate were only discussing it the other day...
Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, its my 2nd post so go easy on me... I had to find somewhere to start!

 

[Bible_Belt]

I broke up with my hs sweetheart of several years when I was 19 and thought it was the end of the world. Now she's fat, and I'm glad we're not married. Later in life, my wife of seven years divorced me, and I thought that was the end of the world. Now she's fat, and I'm glad we're not married. Recently, my gf of a year dumped me. It sucks, but in a couple years, she will be fatter, and I will be glad we're not married.

At your age, you can't date women much younger than you. Older women seem like a novelty. I had a 26 y/o gf when I was 19. But trust me on this, by the time you hit 30, most of the women your age will be old and fat. The best part of delaying marriage until later in life is that you can get a wife at least 5-10 years younger than you, which is the way it should be.

 

[Grover_mister]

love is a mother ****er

 

[lYlasTer]

Go date other women. When she finds out, her jealous genes will trigger and she'll ask for you back.Trust me on this bro, it's the ONLY way.

 

[Last Man Standing]

She is seeing another dude!!! Your argument didn't cause the break-up - don't believe that!! Leave her alone and don't say shyt to her!!!!

 

[xero88]

I just found OUT there is another guy.. Basically this is what happened, we have an arguement and things turning out bad.. this other guy is there to cheer her up making her happy and feel better.. I ready know about this guy, but didn't know he was doing this ****.. Now she is hanging out with them, bc she see me as the guy that pisses her off and start arguement.. How should I go from here? I don't want to do talk or get in contact with the other dude, because it will make things worse then it ready is, bc he going to tell my 'ex girlfriend' everything..

 

[KontrollerX]

Only thing you can do is disengage from the whole situation if you want a small slim of hope for there to be a chance with her and you in the future.

If you don't want to wait around for that chance feel free to get violent with this guy but preferably do this in a place with no witnesses.

 

[TruthHurts]

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck.... ITS A DUCK... in other words, would "the one" want to stop seeing you, or want a break, or show disinterest, or too busy bla bla bla.... sigh.... It is what it is... The truth hurts, but it will set you free... Go exercise, take part in school or work, find other activities, only time will help. Try to get out and meet new people... Good luck...

 

[zerocelcius]

At this point, I'm just really depress and don't know what to do. I seriously thought she was the one. But she kept on telling me we're still young (19 years old.) DJ's, what should I do? Keep trying ? Or give up and just forget about the 2.5 years we had together and find somebody else?

GOD been there man! I know what 2.5 years feels like and what it feels like after the brake up. You have every right to be depressed and feel awful, but you have to shake it off.

Eventually you will not even think about it and feel any pain. What you have to do right now is, every time it pops up in your mind think about the good times that make you smile. Don't focus on getting her back. You have to move on, and don't try to contact her.

It is sad but the truth is it is over and it will never be. The Good news is you can have some fun. Once you get out and looking around you will realize how free you will feel. You may always miss her, but she isn't everything. You have to get back in the game. DON'T Get serious for a while or you might walk right into a rebound situation, and trust me you don't want that.

IF you got a buddy scoop him up and you guys go out. The first thing you are going to realize is you can look at any girl you want. That is right any girl you want. No more GF smacking you for looking.

Next you are going to realize that you can talk to them too. NO GF smacking you for talking to other girls.

Next thing you are going to realize is their are so many girls out their that are attractive and interesting. AND you can get to know any one of them....

It hurts at first but it is her loss! She didn't leave you! She gave you to the other millions of girls.


Take it from somebody who has been there and if you take something at all from my post make it this.

Her Loss your Gain! It only hurts for a 'lil while. GET OUT THERE AND REAP THE REWARDS!!!! DON'T GET SERIOUS FOR A WHILE!!!!!!

 

[Sun Tzu]

When I read stuff like this I genuinely feel bad for you guys in your age group. I remember that time and it sucked royally.

At your age life is changing rapidly for both parties and at 19 girls really do generally have their heads right up their asses.

You will find out soon that this was a blessing in disguise, I promise you. She did not exhibit the class of the kind of woman that you deserve. She would have saddled you down and made your life a living hell if you continued with her.

Disengage, and move on. Very easy words to type, but it is one of the "rights of passage" that almost every man must go through.

After a short period of pain you will recover and be a better man for it. Remember that you are the prize and that you demand a certain level of excellence and class from any woman that you deal with.

Like TruthHurts says, get out there and socialize, even if you don't feel like it. This will help you to more quickly move on and recover.

 

[Freeman]

The last time I was on this forum was exactly 2.5 years ago. The advice was wonderful, I got the girl of my dream. Now my girlfriend and I broke up after 2.5 years of dating. She wanted a break, since she heading into college this year she going to be really busy. Working + Studying. We had a short break, she wanted to clear her head. We didn't call each other or make any contact during the short break. Then all of a sudden she called me up, saying.. she made her decision and is better off if we break up b/c she going to be really busy coming up this fall and she in a lot of stress.. I play it cool, saying if you really wanted that then I support your decision.. Then later I thought it over, and called her back trying to get back with her by reminding her about the past and the good times we had and it would be sad if we threw it all away.

Later on she told me if we were meant to be, we'll be together in the future. Later on she blocks me online, and doesn't pick up my phone call anymore. She quickly went on 'myspace' and change her status to single. This girl is very intelligent and hard working. Lately we haven't spend enough time together and had a huge arguement which lead to this.

At this point, I'm just really depress and don't know what to do. I seriously thought she was the one. But she kept on telling me we're still young (19 years old.) DJ's, what should I do? Keep trying ? Or give up and just forget about the 2.5 years we had together and find somebody else?

I just wanted to add my little piece to this also by saying I truly do understand what you going through man-its tough. Consider this though-more than likely she's doing you a favor- there are more of them out there than us so believe me when I tell you that you are going to find a lot more chicks out there that you feel that same way about. Be real man-did you honestly think you two was going to be together forever? You a man now-this aint high school anymore. The "happy-man" is the man who loves with irony. If you love too much you will lose all. You have just been served a big a** plate of reality my friend. Youve been on here asking for advice which is cool but now you need to stop staring at that plate eat the shi* and go on about your merry day. Im not saying to just stop thinking about her but I know you cared for her and thats not a real goal. What Im saying is to Actually think about-think about REAL HARD-THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE DID. HOW SHE PLAYED YOU AND PROMISE YOUR HEART THAT YOU WILL NOT BE "BOO-BOO THE FOOL" AGAIN. REMEMBER IT, INTERNALIZE IT. USE THAT TO FUEL YOURSELF TO GO OUT THERE AND GET BACK INTO THE GAME!