Relapse with my feelings about my ex

daproest1

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You haven't looked hard enough.

I met my wife when I was unemployed and she stuck with me through 2 layoffs. So there is such a thing...;)
Got it. Had it. Lost it. In her defense I didn’t marry her. We were approaching 6 years. Didn’t know there was a time clock on the relationship until it was too late. I was focused on other things.
 

daproest1

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My uncle's wife talked with me last weekend that my ex (one I dated last year) went there to visit them, and she told that she had a dream with me and she worries about me... and asked my uncle's wife if I was ok.

I confess that when she told me this, I started to remember several things and started to feel bad.

So, Sunday night I sent her an email, saying that I was sorry for not being the best person in the relationship, that my life this year has undergone many changes and that getting out of all that abusive situation with my family has helped me to to lift and rebuild many things.

I also said that I still liked her and had feelings for her ... And that if she still wanted to, maybe we could talk ... Because I felt that I couldn't express myself correctly when we ended our relationship.

After that she only replied that she was happy to know that I was fine and that I had nothing to apologize for. He showed no more about it.

I didn't talk anymore and I think I shouldn't have sent her any messages ... But I was caught by that feeling that came back when my aunt told me that.

I was feeling like a fool, like I had ended the relationship ... Maybe now she is kind of feeling good that I went after it, and now I was rejected. At no time did I want to feel good rejecting her. I just saw that the relationship was not healthy and that breaking up would be the best option to prevent both parties from getting hurt more.

There is also the fact that she completely stopped looking for me the moment I left the house I lived in and quit my job at my family's company. Maybe this is just in my head. But I don't know ... When I had a good salary, a big house ... she tried everything to get back together and the moment I lost all that, it seems that there is nothing else. The feeling changed quickly.

I think the next time they try to say something about this ex-girlfriend of mine or if she says anything to them, I’ll kindly ask them not to tell me anything. For without a doubt, I saw that there is still some feeling, and I don't know, for everything that happened in that relationship, if it would really be worth trying something again.
It won’t be the same. The girl u remember, is changing every day while she’s away from you.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yes! And as I can remember from all my past relationships... How many time I've spent with nonsense relationships.

The fact is, if I do that now I will destroy everything I'm building up. And time is being money... so I have to stay 100% focused on my goals.
Somehow when you let them "in" it backholes our motivation, drive and some confidence goes with it. There are handful which leave us more alert anf energetic but its the minority. Most see that driven and motivated man as a big "boob" of energy to come drain.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Somehow when you let them "in" it backholes our motivation, drive and some confidence goes with it. There are handful which leave us more alert anf energetic but its the minority. Most see that driven and motivated man as a big "boob" of energy to come drain.
"Black holes", like a black hole.... Comes to consume and drain...
 

Blacksheep

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Somehow when you let them "in" it backholes our motivation, drive and some confidence goes with it. There are handful which leave us more alert anf energetic but its the minority. Most see that driven and motivated man as a big "boob" of energy to come drain.
But why they like to drain that energy? Wouldnt it be better if they nurture it?
 

Blacksheep

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"Black holes", like a black hole.... Comes to consume and drain...
I can say that I've experienced this feeling... Some women I dated, I've always felt drained after leaving her at her house after a weekend or a date. This is so weird.

I think its valid for friends, family, etc... Must be careful with energy drainers.
 

mrgoodstuff

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But why they like to drain that energy? Wouldnt it be better if they nurture it?
The ones who attack it it makes them feel empowered. They look at like a "fight". The rare woman that's for you and wants you to lead as her masculine man will encourage it.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I can say that I've experienced this feeling... Some women I dated, I've always felt drained after leaving her at her house after a weekend or a date. This is so weird.

I think its valid for friends, family, etc... Must be careful with energy drainers.
Yep. Energy drainer can even give you sex. If you keep laying with them you become more lethargic, lose confidence and your drive goes away.

There's another type of pvssy that makes you more alert, more confident, greater clarity.
 

Isildur1

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Breakups are tough but once you increase your options things will get better you need to be proactive and meet new people
 

Blacksheep

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If your ex girlfriend ended the relationship, and you were the one reaching out to see if you guys can rekindle, then you just lost the Game.

Many of us guys learn the hard way. When a girl ends the relationship then you must disappear until she reaches out to you directly and starts begging - she must do all the work, and you maintain aloof and amused mastery. Once she knows the breakup has had a negative effect on you, then it's basically Game Over.

If she begs to come back, at this point you plate her and you give her casual sex only. You can not ever risk investing in a girl who has terminated a relationship with you. She can (and will) terminate it again if you get back with her, and you cannot give her this opportunity because you'll feel like a complete loser the next time it happens.
Thats true man! I knew I shouldnt do it, but I lost myself into emotions.

And in that case, I was the one who broke up.
 

Blacksheep

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Yep. Energy drainer can even give you sex. If you keep laying with them you become more lethargic, lose confidence and your drive goes away.

There's another type of pvssy that makes you more alert, more confident, greater clarity.
I can say that this one I never found it yet.

I'm being aware a lot lately about that energy stuff. Paying attention to what is draining my energy and working to avoid and protect from it.

People, foods, environment, sex... All this can mess with our energy. For example, every time I went to a bar... Unless its a place with more family or good energy, I always feel weird after leaving that place.
 

Blacksheep

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Its because some women have high negative energy and when you have feelings for her, can be very unhealthy for you. Better of ending it sooner or later.
No doubt.

This energy thing is really weird... I had some very interesting experiences with energy during my life.
 

Blacksheep

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Breakups are tough but once you increase your options things will get better you need to be proactive and meet new people
Definitely.

I just think that we must even be careful with those options... I was dating a lot of women lately, and I didn't feel good energies from those datings. Maybe focus on date some better women.

I'm giving a try to semen retention to see how it is... I feel that need to give a break for sex and dating for while. Wanna check how it goes for at least 30 days. If its good, I will keep it longer until I achieve my main goals in life.

As I see a lot of people having benefits from it... I would like to check, cause I only believe if I experience it too.
 

captain55

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It seems she was asking your family to see if your seing someone else, have you moved on. Your expression of feelings gave her a big boost of ego that she still have power over you, thus your automatically not sexually interesting to her. You made a mistake reaching out to her, considering the fact that she was with you mostly because of your job and house that you once had. Move on, don't dwell over that mistake, who gives a fvck about her, if she reaches again, ignore her.
good point. Op find a girl that is attracted to you. If a girl is sexually attracted to you, it doesn’t matter how badly you **** up. As long as you don’t act like a simp, If you can get her in person you will always be able to bang her.
 

Isildur1

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Definitely.

I just think that we must even be careful with those options... I was dating a lot of women lately, and I didn't feel good energies from those datings. Maybe focus on date some better women.

I'm giving a try to semen retention to see how it is... I feel that need to give a break for sex and dating for while. Wanna check how it goes for at least 30 days. If its good, I will keep it longer until I achieve my main goals in life.

As I see a lot of people having benefits from it... I would like to check, cause I only believe if I experience it too.
Women have varying personalities and problems it's inevitable that you won't get along with many of the ones that you're dating it's normal. To be honest over the past 3 years I've only connected deeply with 2-3 women in total out of dating between 60-80 it's just the way things are but when things work out and get better you'll be greatful for those moments
 
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