reddit: Crazy how a single company can essentially force you to become an incel

[nelysses]

I've been in Istanbul and Bodrum, but I think that in Turkey there's a big difference in a 'dating scene' in the cities than in the villages and the more remote regions.

The Netherlands is a tiny country, but even we have twelve 'provinces' with totally different characters, from the west that is urban and congested to the east which is agrarian and the south hugging Belgium/Luxembourg/Germany. Amsterdam has a completely different dating scene from Zwolle or Tilburg or Groningen.

Our dating environments are actually a little different.
To put it simply, I'm in a small city. People say making daygame will take my name off. I don't know, I was a little shy and didn't try it. That's why I don't meet many girls.

But resorts are easier. You don't have to see the person you saw once again. Something can happen instantly.
It's also easier in big cities. I can say that big cities and holiday cities are more western.
In small cities, conservatism prevails.
It's actually much better than before. I can say that, as young people, we are becoming westernized.
In some places, too much westernization prevails. I saw a party a few days ago. You need to get approval from 2 girls to enter The theme of the party is Lilith. On the party cover, there is a photo of 4 girls making a guy lie down and getting on top of him. I don't know what would happen if men did the same.

Besides all this, people can be really shy. I've been seeing a lot of killing, harassment and rape news lately. In general, people may not be very comfortable. As you said, where you are is very important.

 

[zekko]

I used to date fashion models and accompany them to photoshoots (I love to go 'behind the scenes' at anything I can), where I would be surrounded by beautiful women who liked me for not being impressed and just talking to them like you do to your sister.

And yet you were impressed, or you wouldn't be telling this story. You mean you did a good job of hiding that you were impressed.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

And yet you were impressed, or you wouldn't be telling this story. You mean you did a good job of hiding that you were impressed.

You're drawing the wrong conclusion. I certainly was impressed, but not by their beauty. Just because I acknowledge beauty does not mean I'm impressed by that. But I did have some preconceptions regarding their attitude, based on what I'd seen from models in fashion magazines and the media.

These models were used to men being impressed by their beauty and remarked on how I wasn't like most men. I never thought I should be impressed by their beauty, because in many women the outside doesn't reflect the inside and beautiful women can be ugly on the inside. However, I was impressed how most of them were not as spoiled and pampered as I thought they'd be from the enormous validation they received, but they were very 'down-to-earth' and not as 'bored' or 'haughty' as they appeared on the runway.

So my experiences with them did teach me how deceiving appearances are.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I used to date fashion models and accompany them to photoshoots (I love to go 'behind the scenes' at anything I can), where I would be surrounded by beautiful women who liked me for not being impressed and just talking to them like you do to your sister.
I also worked as a bouncer / cooler in kink clubs where women would walk around naked, so a 'seductive dress' in regular nightspots is not that seductive anymore.

I know the work that goes into making a girl look like a goddess.

Yea I think once a man has a certain amount of experience and exposure to women the curtain is pulled back and that illusion is shattered to an extent

I mean I went over this chicks house last week it was like a bomb had gone off in there , it was disgusting

Also when you live with women you realise how little most of them have going on in their lives

Their entire lives revolve around hair / beauty / clothes / men and occasionally gossiping about other women

-----------------------------------------------------------

As men we are very visual we are turned on by what we see and women leverage this on every metric imaginable

when a man doesn't respond well too the visual illusion a woman does begin to question herself and thats your opportunity too take the upper hand

 

[BadBoy89]

I used to date fashion models and accompany them to photoshoots (I love to go 'behind the scenes' at anything I can), where I would be surrounded by beautiful women who liked me for not being impressed and just talking to them like you do to your sister.

What would guys who are impressed do, talk to them as sluts?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Online dating feeds you leads and it feeds you girls already into you. Nothing can really beat the efficiency behind that. Sure, do cold approach but don't make it your bread and butter is what I would say.

They aren't really into you though thats proved by the terrible response rate on these apps and people pretend men are doing it too but I bet if you crunched the numbers it will be women mainly ghosting men ,

there's this attitude of like " eh this guy seems alright lets see if he can impress me " which most of the time he never can ...

 

[Bingo-Player]

There are other bottom of the barrel methods. Structured singles events (singles mixers and speed dating) and Meetup.com group events are two other truly bottom of the barrel methods. Quality women do not go to structured singles events and Meetup.com group events.

Do you agree on the other bottom of the barrel methods I identified?

No because if you're in a big metro area you will get a huge variety of new arrivals and immigrants going to them and it is possible to find some gems

Local women yea generally will probably be lower quality if they are going to these things

The gym is a good place for a woman who knows what she wants , if done correctly you can build rapport which can build into attraction

Other than that you just need to get very lucky in your day to day life

and of course nightlife is the most popular avenue but extremely physically draining

 

[SW15]

if you're in a big metro area you will get a huge variety of new arrivals and immigrants going to them and it is possible to find some gems

Local women yea generally will probably be lower quality if they are going to these things

Dallas, Texas is one of the biggest metros in the USA and gets a lot of new arrivals from smaller towns in Texas, other parts of the USA, and some international arrivals. I mentioned this in the initial post of the "Observations of Dallas' Scene".

I'll agree with your point on local women at singles events.

It's possible to get lucky with new arrivals but it's still going to take big effort.

The gym is a good place for a woman who knows what she wants , if done correctly you can build rapport which can build into attraction

Gym can be good. It has the earbud issue. Fitness classes (either within a gym or a standalone studio concept like SoulCycle or Title Boxing) solve the earbud problem and offer great ratios but women aren't very sociable before/after class. It's likely many have existing boyfriends but aren't disclosing that.

Other than that you just need to get very lucky in your day to day life

and of course nightlife is the most popular avenue but extremely physically draining

Agree!

 

[Bingo-Player]

It's likely many have existing boyfriends but aren't disclosing that.

Think you will struggle to find any woman in this hyper connected world that isnt linked in some way to an ex or an orbiter or a FWB

there was a chick in my gym last year who was giving me very hot / cold signals , some days she would be red hot then she would vanish for weeks

One day we were training together she just announced she was actually single and some guy she had been seeing had ghosted her

Alarm bells were ringing then so I just pulled back

Sure enough 3 weeks later she shows up to the gym with a dude , and then about another week after that announces on instagram they are back together

 

[MatureDJ]

I've been in Istanbul and Bodrum, but I think that in Turkey there's a big difference in a 'dating scene' in the cities than in the villages and the more remote regions.

The Netherlands is a tiny country, but even we have twelve 'provinces' with totally different characters, from the west that is urban and congested to the east which is agrarian and the south hugging Belgium/Luxembourg/Germany. Amsterdam has a completely different dating scene from Zwolle or Tilburg or Groningen.

It must be nice to go out and sarge one night, and if you strike out, you just go to a window girl ...

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What would guys who are impressed do, talk to them as sluts?

Ogle them like sex objects and being unable to communicate with 'goddesses'.
Or they're only interested in having them as trophy / eye candy on their arm to impress other people.

If you want to be with beautiful women, disregard their appearance and let them impress you in other ways. Compliment them on their fashion taste, never on their physical attributes.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The gym is a good place for a woman who knows what she wants , if done correctly you can build rapport which can build into attraction

I prefer the swimming pool where I go several times a week to swim laps.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It must be nice to go out and sarge one night, and if you strike out, you just go to a window girl ...

I've never had sex with a prostitute. I know some of them from neighbourhood bars where they go for a drink after work, but I'm not attracted to women who treat sex as a commodity.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

They aren't really into you though thats proved by the terrible response rate on these apps and people pretend men are doing it too but I bet if you crunched the numbers it will be women mainly ghosting men ,

there's this attitude of like " eh this guy seems alright lets see if he can impress me " which most of the time he never can ...

Nah bro. In a lot of these apps, if you have the right pics and hit off, especially once you get her number and get her off the apps, it becomes a breeze. I just remember back to when I had Hinge and how I could get a date a week. A part of me is not discounting cold approach but it should always be done in conjunction with online dating or IG game, never as a main source of leads. You are going to be miserable if that is what you do.

 

[itouchyou]

cold approach is simple

1) be attractive
2) don't be pushy/needy

 

[MatureDJ]

cold approach is simple

1) be attractive
2) don't be pushy/needy

You forgot "don't be short".

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You forgot "don't be short".

Be short, but don't care about your length, because only frustrated people worry about what is outside their control and frustrated people are unattractive.