reddit: Crazy how a single company can essentially force you to become an incel

[MatureDJ]

https://www.reddit.com/r/SwipeHelper/comments/1brsj8v
So as you know most couples today are meeting online rather than offline. Cold approaching people has a big negative stigma now that didn't exist before. In some places like Sweden you're expected to meet people online only as approaching strangers is seen as super weird

Not only that but if you have a job like me where you move from country to country every few months, its nearly impossible to meet anyone outside of apps.

But here's the kicker: One company owns all the biggest apps (Match inc), once you're banned/shadowbanned from these apps, you're pretty much screwed. No appeals, no second chances and you have to job through 20 hoops to get back on, and we don't even know if we are truly "un-throttled" when doing even a "hard reset" as these apps could be using some sort of facial recognition and holding your biometric data.

It's like being exiled from the digital dating world forever. And in a world where online dating is eclipsing meet people offline, that's basically a death sentence for your love life.

Welcome to the modern dystopia. I hope one day Match screws over someone of serious influence and wealth and they get the class action lawsuit that's long overdue. I really want to know all the **** they're hiding in under their hood

***

my opinion: It's OVER for OLDShadowBannedCels.

 

[SW15]

I think this phenomenon is overblown. I have not used apps in years and I manage to get laid.

A good portion of men don’t get results on swipe apps anyway, regardless of shadowbanning or not. The app environment is very difficult regardless of ownership groups of these various apps. All the apps have a huge surplus of men. Women have such abundance on there and a lot of good men are overlooked.

Cold approaching people has a big negative stigma now that didn't exist before.

The environment around cold approaching has changed. When I first got out of college in 2005, the options were primarily dating websites and approaching strangers. Dating websites were just starting to get de-stigmatized then. OkCupid was new at the time, Match had been around for 10 years, and eHarmony was still a thing. Since I was 22 in 2005, eHarmony and Match were thought of as websites for older people and OkCupid was at least acceptable for the younger set since it was new. However, OkCupid was not considered as socially acceptable as going to bars to meet women. From 22-26 (2005-2009 for me), when I was single and needed sexual options, the preferred option for most people was still something in-person, typically a nightlife venue. By 2009, dating websites had made progress compared to 2005.

The approaching environment changed in the early 2010s as websites still grew and then were later replaced by Tinder’s launch in late 2012 and growth in 2013.

I have been approaching strangers in the 2010s-2020s when I’ve needed prospects. I changed my method in the early 2010s to be more non-bar venue focused after Roosh’s “Day Bang” was released in 2011.

The biggest change since the early 2010s is that nightlife venue approaching has been replaced by swipe apps. Non-bar approaching has experienced a bit of a decline too, but non-bar approaching was even a bit of a niche activity around the late 2000s/early 2010s.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

. What causes someone to get banned?

 

[Kotaix]

. What causes someone to get banned?

being reported by a woman for feeling creeped out, or whatever spurious reason she comes up with.

This is standard fearmongering though. All the Match group dating apps have had their 5 minutes of fame and then slowly devolved into a pool of fat/ugly women and desperate incels who are unfit for any kind of relationship, either online or offline. Anyone with 10 brain cells will eventually move to the newest app for the 5 minutes that it has a few quality women on it.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

One company owns all the biggest apps (Match inc), once you're banned/shadowbanned from these apps, you're pretty much screwed.

When you put all your eggs in one basket, don't drop that basket.

I've been dating since the Eighties, never needed dating apps. Never get dependent on technology to solve non-tech problems.

 

[zekko]

I've always thought the best cold approaches are when no one even knows a cold approach happened.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I've always thought the best cold approaches are when no one even knows a cold approach happened.

That's why I don't have a reputation as a player / seducer. I'm just a social person, easy to talk to and discreet...

 

[inquisitor]

I've always thought the best cold approaches are when no one even knows a cold approach happened.

I'd have to agree. The best approach is merely an interaction that just happens naturally.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Haven't used an app seriously in a year absolute waste of fvcking time

I've had some really filthy sex with 5 different women in the last 2 months ive got another 6-7 I'm casually talking too

3 I am considering properly dating

I met all of these chicks in my day to day life mostly from nightlife where I have been out on my own

Women dont want to be "cold approached" they just want you to be socially normal and not a fvcking wierdo with them

ITS NOT THAT FVCKING DIFFICULT

Yes there are some very very beautiful women out there and yes it can be scary to strike up a random conversation and hold your composure but when you do.....

she thinks to herself " wow this guy is normal he must talk to hot girls all the time " and you get a fvck load of brownie points for it ( or as I like to call them coochie points )

Good quality women with a good level of mental health are not on dating apps

 

[SW15]

Haven't used an app seriously in a year absolute waste of fvcking time

When I think about the time I spent using dating websites (prior to apps) and dating apps, there was a lot of time and money wasted. It was not a pleasant experience.

Good quality women with a good level of mental health are not on dating apps

While that might have been true in the dating website era (late 1990s-early 2010s), I think that's less true in the dating app era (2012/2013-present). Apps have gotten so widely used that women from all walks of life on them now.

I think it is fair to describe the use of dating apps as a bottom of the barrel method of meeting women. In the thread below, using dating apps as a non-Chad was described as D to F tier.

Rankings of Every Way You Can Meet a Woman According to a YouTube Channel

Here is the complete list, ranked in order of best to worst: S-Tier: - Throwing an event or party - Instagram Cold DM- Creating Content on Instagram and Boosting it - Paying a club promoter to introduce you to women - Being famous, even just small-time locally famous - Being a musician A-Tier...

www.sosuave.net

There are other bottom of the barrel methods. Structured singles events (singles mixers and speed dating) and Meetup.com group events are two other truly bottom of the barrel methods. Quality women do not go to structured singles events and Meetup.com group events.

Do you agree on the other bottom of the barrel methods I identified?

Women dont want to be "cold approached" they just want you to be socially normal and not a fvcking wierdo with them

Yes there are some very very beautiful women out there and yes it can be scary to strike up a random conversation and hold your composure but when you do.....

she thinks to herself " wow this guy is normal he must talk to hot girls all the time " and you get a fvck load of brownie points for it ( or as I like to call them coochie points )

For a woman, going to a nightlife venue with 1-2 female friends is socially normal. I think it is more socially normal than sitting behind an electronic screen and trying to start interactions.

For a woman, being on a swipe app is like being in 10+ nightlife venues at the same time and being there 24/7. In real life, a woman can only be in one nightlife venue at a time, and it's only for roughly 2 hours on 1-2 nights per week. That's part of why she's able to get more abundance with the tech-based methods than solely real life methods.

There's an illusion of efficiency that sells both sexes on using tech-based methods (mainly swipe apps, but even Instagram to a lesser extent). It is an illusion because there's not a good substitute for the real life experience. Even real life gimmicks (singles mixers, speed dating) are not a substitute.

Going to a bar is a real life experience.

There are also alternative venues to bars for meeting women. They can be met in a variety of non-bar venues too.

Real life approaching is not easy to do. It is possible to do real life approaching in a way that looks socially normal (either in bars or non-bar venues). Socially normal approaches are good.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Yeah I have to say, my lay count has gone dramatically down after being banned from Hinge. TBH, almost every guy I know who is "slaying" is doing so through Hinge and online dating. No dudes are doing it through cold approach daygame and nightgame, at least not in the US. Almost all guys with a high lay count are leveraging the heck out of the dating apps. Rarely any of them are doing cold approach all that much.

 

[SW15]

almost every guy I know who is "slaying" is doing so through Hinge and online dating.... Almost all guys with a high lay count are leveraging the heck out of the dating apps.

Dating apps would favor a top tier guy in a way nightlife can't match. Dating apps are like being in multiple nightlife venues at the same time and 24/7 for the top tier men and for women.

For non-top tier men, it doesn't make a difference. Men outside the top tier achieve lesser results on apps as compared to the top tier guys. Top tier guys are fit guys and often fit guys with money.

No dudes are doing it through cold approach daygame and nightgame, at least not in the US.

Approaching strangers via daygame and nightgame is a longer, more laborious process. It's higher effort for sure. Some men can get results with it but it's rare. Approaching strangers in real life is a better method for finding some form of a longer term interaction than shorter term sex. Approaching strangers is inefficient for shorter term sex.

Rarely any of them are doing cold approach all that much.

The younger generations have believed in the illusion of efficiency that apps provide. The illusion is that it is easy to sit at home and swipe than get ready and go out in the real world and talk to people. For some, the more laborious effort is the better one and it can result in a longer term girlfriend.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

she thinks to herself " wow this guy is normal he must talk to hot girls all the time " and you get a fvck load of brownie points for it ( or as I like to call them coochie points )

I used to date fashion models and accompany them to photoshoots (I love to go 'behind the scenes' at anything I can), where I would be surrounded by beautiful women who liked me for not being impressed and just talking to them like you do to your sister.
I also worked as a bouncer / cooler in kink clubs where women would walk around naked, so a 'seductive dress' in regular nightspots is not that seductive anymore.

I know the work that goes into making a girl look like a goddess.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Also, many women are having their likeness used on these apps, I would say a large portion of these profiles aren't even active, I think that's the real terrifying part about all of this, that the human aspect has been entirely taken out of this for a lot of people and they don't even know it

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Also, many women are having their likeness used on these apps, I would say a large portion of these profiles aren't even active, I think that's the real terrifying part about all of this, that the human aspect has been entirely taken out of this for a lot of people and they don't even know it

A good number of these 'women' profiles are Match employees hired to converse with the hopeless to make them hopeful.

 

[Gamisch]

Yeah I have to say, my lay count has gone dramatically down after being banned from Hinge. TBH, almost every guy I know who is "slaying" is doing so through Hinge and online dating. No dudes are doing it through cold approach daygame and nightgame, at least not in the US. Almost all guys with a high lay count are leveraging the heck out of the dating apps. Rarely any of them are doing cold approach all that much.

That's quite the turn around. From religiously cold approaching to completely abandoning it now.


That's no knock on you tho ; I'm repeating myself when I say that every man older than 30 will at some point face this bottleneck.

After let's say a year of cold approaching you have to make an honest assessment about the success ratio and ESPECIALLY whether you actually like it or not. Some men soak up the rejections and let it determine their selfworth.

Still I'll salute you. It's just being honest about the Game we're in. Imo cold approach does teach you how to use the mouthpiece , which might come in handy when there's a sudden opportunity to bag a woman.

 

[Gamisch]

https://www.reddit.com/r/SwipeHelper/comments/1brsj8v
So as you know most couples today are meeting online rather than offline. Cold approaching people has a big negative stigma now that didn't exist before. In some places like Sweden you're expected to meet people online only as approaching strangers is seen as super weird

Not only that but if you have a job like me where you move from country to country every few months, its nearly impossible to meet anyone outside of apps.

But here's the kicker: One company owns all the biggest apps (Match inc), once you're banned/shadowbanned from these apps, you're pretty much screwed. No appeals, no second chances and you have to job through 20 hoops to get back on, and we don't even know if we are truly "un-throttled" when doing even a "hard reset" as these apps could be using some sort of facial recognition and holding your biometric data.

It's like being exiled from the digital dating world forever. And in a world where online dating is eclipsing meet people offline, that's basically a death sentence for your love life.

Welcome to the modern dystopia. I hope one day Match screws over someone of serious influence and wealth and they get the class action lawsuit that's long overdue. I really want to know all the **** they're hiding in under their hood

***

my opinion: It's OVER for OLDShadowBannedCels.

Yeah bro. It's a matter if time before some serious cases will be filed against Match Llc. The question is whether dating is such a "fundamental right " that excluding / tricking mostly men is punishable by law.

The biggest problem now is that the "smell of newness " is completely gone. We KNOW that a man being a hypothetical 7,5 won't find a 6,5/ 7,5 equally rated woman anytime soon.

The common idea that OLD should be running in the background while you live your life, assuming that OLD gives you several lays a year is also flawed. MATCH LLC says you either pay, get a predictable low score because 99,9 % of women will turn you down, or you get shadowbanned. But who has 150 bucks a month to pay all those subscriptions while getting zero results?

Its amazing to see tho. We've witnessed something seemingly simple COMPLETELY changing dating, and the main question ai have is whether it's unethical to mess with a "basic necessity " such as dating..

Apparently Tinder is banned in Pakistan just to give an example.

 

[nelysses]

https://www.reddit.com/r/SwipeHelper/comments/1brsj8v
So as you know most couples today are meeting online rather than offline. Cold approaching people has a big negative stigma now that didn't exist before. In some places like Sweden you're expected to meet people online only as approaching strangers is seen as super weird

Not only that but if you have a job like me where you move from country to country every few months, its nearly impossible to meet anyone outside of apps.

But here's the kicker: One company owns all the biggest apps (Match inc), once you're banned/shadowbanned from these apps, you're pretty much screwed. No appeals, no second chances and you have to job through 20 hoops to get back on, and we don't even know if we are truly "un-throttled" when doing even a "hard reset" as these apps could be using some sort of facial recognition and holding your biometric data.

It's like being exiled from the digital dating world forever. And in a world where online dating is eclipsing meet people offline, that's basically a death sentence for your love life.

Welcome to the modern dystopia. I hope one day Match screws over someone of serious influence and wealth and they get the class action lawsuit that's long overdue. I really want to know all the **** they're hiding in under their hood

***

my opinion: It's OVER for OLDShadowBannedCels.

Actually I don't know. All of the guys I talked(both irl and this forum) said me don't meet someone online. Just go out and find something. I'm in Turkey.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm in Turkey.

I've been in Istanbul and Bodrum, but I think that in Turkey there's a big difference in a 'dating scene' in the cities than in the villages and the more remote regions.

The Netherlands is a tiny country, but even we have twelve 'provinces' with totally different characters, from the west that is urban and congested to the east which is agrarian and the south hugging Belgium/Luxembourg/Germany. Amsterdam has a completely different dating scene from Zwolle or Tilburg or Groningen.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

That's quite the turn around. From religiously cold approaching to completely abandoning it now.


That's no knock on you tho ; I'm repeating myself when I say that every man older than 30 will at some point face this bottleneck.

After let's say a year of cold approaching you have to make an honest assessment about the success ratio and ESPECIALLY whether you actually like it or not. Some men soak up the rejections and let it determine their selfworth.

Still I'll salute you. It's just being honest about the Game we're in. Imo cold approach does teach you how to use the mouthpiece , which might come in handy when there's a sudden opportunity to bag a woman.

I am not saying I am going to abandon cold approach, tbh I still do it and a couple of Fridays ago, got a lay out of it! However, when you put it all together, it is ultimately not the best use of time and the time you use on it needs to be maximized. This means doing daygame only for a certain amount of time. This means going to high end exclusive venues rather than wasting your time in crappy ones.

Online dating feeds you leads and it feeds you girls already into you. Nothing can really beat the efficiency behind that. Sure, do cold approach but don't make it your bread and butter is what I would say.