Red flag?

[pyros]

In my opinion you're the rebound or something like it.

You're not her first priority and that is clear so it is just a matter of time before she leaves you for that guy or any other guy cause...pay attention...SHE DOESNT REALLY LOVE YOU, and this is the reason why she keeps talking to her ex etc.

All relationships are gonna end one way or another but...I just would not have a 'serious' relationship with a girl that doesnt really love me.

Keep her as a fwb if you want, but understand that she doesnt really love you and keeps her ex bf as a backup plan.

 

[GS750]

In my opinion you're the rebound or something like it.

You're not her first priority and that is clear so it is just a matter of time before she leaves you for that guy or any other guy cause...pay attention...SHE DOESNT REALLY LOVE YOU, and this is the reason why she keeps talking to her ex etc.

All relationships are gonna end one way or another but...I just would not have a 'serious' relationship with a girl that doesnt really love me.

Keep her as a fwb if you want, but understand that she doesnt really love you and keeps her ex bf as a backup plan.

It seems that this is the case here. You've been living with this girl for a while now, and she's still checking up on her ex after all this time? If her interest level was high enough, she'd have stopped with this behavior by now.

 

[:-)]

It's not good. Especially the part where he had to tell her them talking wasn't really fair on you and his other half.

 

[Technics]

Either they may have died down or they may have intensified.






This is not excellent, but pretty good evidence that he's still lingering in her mind. Whenever I am in doubt about a situation like this, I reverse the roles and ask myself how she would react if I were doing the same thing. Would she react calmly? Would she go completely bananas?

Ok that's a good way of looking at it RE reversing the roles. But how would I bring it up?

And if I did decide to dump her or move out and relegate to a fb, what reason would I give her when she asks why? It would sound silly to say ''because you look at your ex's fb weekly''

 

[Technics]

Answers in bold

Hmm I wonder... I have a few questions for you.

1. How old are you/her?
Im 29, she's 26
2. How long did she date the ex was he her first love?
Not sure maybe a year and yes
3. How did you meet her?
Through friends
4. What would you rate her and yourself on a scale 1-10?
Both 7. Me maybe higher slightly
5. Do you two toss around the L word to each other and does she say it more or less than you?
I say it rarely. She says it often.
6. How many times a week do you two have s€x and has the frequency changed?
I get sex whenever I want it, she initiates alot
7. Where did she meet the ex and how close do you two live from him?
Not sure where they met, he lives over 2000km away we moved to a new tow
8. Has her work schedule changed over the last few weeks and has she grown more distant?
No but her IL isn't where it used to be. Still high but not super high
9. Does she keep her phone locked and do you know the code?
I know the code and she leaves it around
10. What does she/you do for a living?
Doctor and Manager in a billion dollar company/both earn similar money

 

[G_Govan]

I say when you're not with her you should flirt with other women, build some self-esteem. She's completely comfortable with you with zero tension or worry that some other woman might swoop in and grab your attention.

Relationships will naturally calm down over time but if you want to maintain heightened interest from her she has to feel a little anxious/insecure about you. Start going to the gym, spend some time away from her doing things that interest you, hang out with friends, etc.

You can't keep the same, safe routine year after year and expect any woman to keep high interest, unless she's much lower than you in SMV. It's impossible. Look at how effortless she keeps your interest. It's because they don't play by the same rules and most average men are desperate for decent women. Women are not and will never be like male friends, remember that.

Her ex is still on her mind because he didn't settle for her, at the time. That gives him the aura of having higher SMV. Women don't necessarily like feeling insecure but it's a fine line that keeps their interest when they encounter it. It's annoying sure, but that's how things work today.

Familiarity breeds contempt (over time).

 

[Ray S]

This is only going to eat away at you & rightly so. The best option would be finish with her.

 

[Technics]

^

Yeah this is what I have decided...I think it's best if I just break it off. I'm not the A1 guy in her life. I need to plan my exit though.

Would appreciate some help how to go about this? What reason do I give her?

I won't see her until Tuesday as I'm away working and I'm finding it hard to be normal and not start ignoring her calls/texts.

I have another girl that wants to sleep with me ready to go which will help things.

 

[GS750]

Sounds like you've made up your mind, and I don't believe that this was an easy decision for you. Add in the fact that you live together and that makes it more difficult. But it sounds like you have made the right decision, and you gave it some time and weren't impulsive about it. Masculinity made a good point, reverse the roles, and I bet she'd be less than happy to find out you were doing the same thing as her.

 

[Lozboss]

Your call OP.

I would just say:

" It's not working out. You aren't putting enough into the relationship and I'm not interested in a one way street. I'm out, good luck and take care"

 

[G_Govan]

I have another girl that wants to sleep with me ready to go which will help things.

This is key.

I actively encourage men to "branch-swing." I wish more would do this.

Women have been using this tactic with great success for ages. Time for us men to start giving them a taste of their own medicine.

I would also encourage you not to get into any heavy discussion about the breakup. It's pointless and will only lead to arguments. Tell her you think it's for the best and don't wish to go on about it at length.

Right after that hit the new girl up with a smile on your face.