Recoverable?

Bali

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My first post so here goes.

A few weeks ago, a woman from my work who had showed infatuation in me constantly kept following me like a lost puppy, finally asking if I wanted to go for coffee and we did. We hit things off and we exchanged contact details, she contacted me a few days later while travelling on business starting conversation with me which I kept to a minimum saying we should meet up when she gets back and she agreed. We met up when she got home from the flight, and she started to spew a lot of, in all honesty BS, such as she doesn't date, this is not really interest (even though she told her family about me, and her best friends, and that I should meet her best friends) among other things. All of which I challenged/called out and ensured that I set clear boundaries that I didn't really buy into her none-sense and it was more or less a ***** shield. She admit right off the bat it was and it was to see how men react.

Then came a few red flags - history of troubled father, violence (from herself), psychiatric visits - due to the stress of her work, etc.

At which point I thought I am not sure about this I need more time to really gauge this person. I closed things off by saying, I'll be seeing her around, and she asked when I would be around/my schedule which I told her and she told me hers.

I sent her a text the next day referencing a joke she found funny, and then went about my day. Unfortunately, I was unable to go into work due to family issues the next few days, so I was only able to see her at the end of the week at which point she quickly and easily agreed to go out and we hung out with a lot of touching/flirting/some kissing; but there was resistance to take it further.

Next time I saw her I got the cold shoulder, then the time after that I got initiation of conversation and slightly less receptive response to touch, but her friends were still all smiles to me. I knew she had a stressful project that day, so I messaged her if it went well and she wanted to meet the next week, she replied almost instantly to all texts and said it did go well but she can't because she promised to catch up with another guy that week. I played it off and said okay maybe the week after and left it at that.

The questions I have are did I fumble this up? Is it recoverable, if so how so? Do I simply go to ignore as per usual? or should I next?
 

Arthy

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Did you kiss close? From what i read here, you are on a great way to the friendzone. Her friends were smiling? Does that mean you went on a date with her and her girl friends?
 

Bali

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I didn't kiss on close, no. I felt really uncomfortable with the fact that she had all of these red flags cropping up.

No I mean the next few days, her friends were much more open/accepting to me.

When we were together the second time I was touching/rubbing/teasing all areas I could, thighs, back (all areas), arms, hands, etc. and did kiss on close the second time.

Edit:

One thing I didn't mention is when she started giving me the cold shoulder (after second date) she asked a guy to come to coffee with us - a really beta guy and I said I am leaving, she replied what you can't just leave? And I said I had other things to do than hang around, she insisted I come to at least get coffee, and she would pay. I did and then left.
 

Arthy

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You havent done anything wrong overall, she flaked on you, once. Depending on your interest in this girl you can either give her one more chance or go ghost. There could be milions of reason on why she flaked, new guy, low interest or as you said, she has psycholocigal issues. Wait for a week and ask her on a date, if she flakes again and doesnt reschedure, next her.
 

Thorninmyside

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Sounds like a head case to me. I wouldn't run. I'd drive, it's faster.

Everyone has some scars but it sounds like hers are very visible and influential on her everyday behaviour. Don't get a saviour complex and think you can repair her. Hit it and leave or just leave.
 
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Greasy Pig

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Politely and firmly extract yourself from this crazy broad.

You've seen the red flags, she actually admitted to blowing you off because she's seeing other people (most sane women make less honest and confronting excuses) and inviting other dudes to hang out with both of you.

Three strikes, she's out!! I don't think it's anything you've done wrong. Some women are just batshyt crazy and you're better off finding out now than later.
Eject gracefully.
 

Bali

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So next seems to be the general consensus?

If she starts up again, what's the most effective way to push back without causing an issues at work?
 

GotED?

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Don't waste your time and energy on women who don't show 100% HIGH INTEREST.

You will become AFC and start the 'chase' - before you know it, you have lost your frame and you are in her's.

They are never worth it - some women just enjoy the chase and the game, they want what they can't have. Most are just girls in adult meat suit.

Tell her you just want to be friends - that will put the stake into the vampire's heart.

BE well.

Exodus
 

Bali

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Ok, so ignore and if she approaches simply state we're just friends?

Doesn't that open the door to her simply using an easy out such of just playing dumb or doing a reversal?
 

Willard

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Just act like you are friends, tell her that you just want to be friends if she asks you about whats going on between you. You work with her, and she's a nut case, if you fall for her you will be screwed, you will still have to see her when the inevitable happens, and it always happens with the crazy ones.
 

Maximus Rex

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Pursue at Your Own Peril

Bali said:
Then came a few red flags - history of troubled father, violence (from herself), psychiatric visits - due to the stress of her work, etc.
Because of the underlined and bolded, you need to leave ole girl alone, unless maintaining your employment doesn't matter to you.
 
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