Recession hits the gold diggers hard...

[STR8UP]

It's too much of a pain in the butt to bother with women if I don't salivate some when thinking about them.

Yea, I posted about this before. I probably meet one, MAYBE two women per year that make me go "WOW". Other than that, my time is better spent on other pursuits. Now if a "gimme" comes my way which happens here and there, I don't care if I'm not looking at her as relationship material....I'll have a good time for what it's worth and when it ends it ends.

And lets run this "date 100 women in a year" scenario out to put it in perspective.

- That's a different woman every 3.65 days. 2 NEW women per week. Lets say you average two dates with each of these women to determine if they are worth keeping around, and you spend a total of 3 hours with each of them between the two dates. This means that you are going on 4 dates per week.

Lets add in the "incidental" time you have had to spend (time spent "sarging", phone calls, emails, driving time, getting ready for the date, whatever). You would have to be Brad Pitt to spend any less than an extra 3-5 hours PER WOMAN if you average out rejections in the field. For sh!ts and giggles lets say you spend a total of 7 hours on each woman you end up getting a date with. Hmmmm....that's 7 hours x 100 women. 700 hours per year. According to my math that equates to nearly ONE MONTH of you year spent on weeding out women. That's 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for nearly THIRTY WHOLE DAYS you are spending each year on women who for the most part turn out to be duds.

And we won't even count how much money you spend on dating 100 women in a year.

Bottom line....i don't aspire to date 100 women in my LIFETIME, let alone in one year. Have fun with that.

**Edit**

Now that I think about it 100 or more women in a LIFETIME certainly isn't anywhere near unreasonable, but 100 in a year is.

 

[Nelford]

Come on, a lot of times it's easy to know who they are by the way they look and carry themselves. Of course some get by you sometimes and go undetected, but I would say, most of the time, you know who they are.

No homie, they get by the AFC's not the champs in this game. $650!!! Why?

 

[guru1000]

It's too much of a pain in the butt to bother with women if I don't salivate some when thinking about them.

Sounds good in theory. I have found when you salivate over one and she is the only one in the pipeline, you have already prized her. Not because you are not proficient as a DJ, but simply because she is the only one. I don't mind prizing an exclusive partner but this is done with the understanding I won't compromise myself.

This is not a concrete rule. There are many successful marriages today that have started with one on one non exclusive relations and then on to exclusivity. There are also rapports that fail due to one party's increased neediness. If you have the ability to create options at a whim than you can most definitely keep the correct frame with one on one non exclusive relations.

There are men here, many of whom are truly scarce and do not have the ability to create options easily. These are the men that need to date more often to create a state of abundance. If one rarely dates and then meets an attractive partner, how will he HIDE his scarcity? His behavior and mannerisms will be in conflict with his "Portrayed Persona". The woman will see this "Conflict" and Have A Nice Day!

He can be open and state he hasn't dated in a few years. This doesn't change the fact he will be psychologically needy.

According to my math that equates to nearly ONE MONTH of you year spent on weeding out women. That's 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for nearly THIRTY WHOLE DAYS you are spending each year on women who for the most part turn out to be duds.

Let's say this was in fact true. My question to you is how much time have you invested in this site, discussions and women since you have started dating?

 

[STR8UP]

Let's say this was in fact true. My question to you is how much time have you invested in this site, discussions and women since you have started dating?

That would be the perfect rebuttal if the reason I visit this site was to learn how to pick up women, but it's not. I come here because I enjoy digging into the psychology of it all. A "hobby", if you will. Spending all of that time and money trying to run that many women through a sieve wouldn't be my idea of a good time. Maybe that's your "hobby". If so, more power to ya.

 

[Mr. Me]

Ok, but then comes the question of: Then how come I'm not getting a shot at all these good-looking women if there aren't that many good-looking guys to go around? By all means, I should be, ESPECIALLY since I'm an above avg.-looking guy.

I would say that there's more to your circumstance then you think.
There's a flaw in your premise that's unknown to you that accounts for that.

I don't believe these women are settling for these average/below average Joe's because there aren't enough good-looking guys to go around. If that were honestly the case, then I should be getting my fair share of hotties on the weekends. But that's FAR from the case.

Here, you're establishing a premise that's specious.
There's several flaws in that logic.

1. That you will pull hot women based on your looks alone.

You're the guy that, from your previous posts, does things like wave at women you don't know to call them over
You're the guy that, IMO, misreads women upon which basis you then next them

2. That you actually are above average in looks.

Maybe to them, you're not. Or maybe you are, but you're not their type. Or maybe you are but there's something in your approach or body language that works against you.

3. That hot women will aprroach men.

Doesn't happen that often. They don't need to make approaches.

4. That your definition of "fair share" is realistic.

Maybe a couple every few months, what you have been getting, is more realistic then expecting a swarm of 9's and 10's to surround you every weekend.

5. That you can pull a ton of hot women in a club.

Maybe they're there with guys they already know, or are already in a social circle. Or since they're at a club on a weekend night, they have their shields up. Or again, hot women don't have to go making approaches.

Even still though, my cold-approaches in the past month have been a dive, except for this past weekend where on one occasion I was c*ck-blocked by her friend, and the other occasion where I didn't escalate enough after my opening(I'll admit, I was a little uncomfortable the way her friends were looking at me

The whole PUA idea of cold approaches and opening sets, though it can be done, isn't really the most conducive environment. You walk up to a woman on the street, for example, she's going to be naturally more on guard then say you met her at a mutual friend's party.

Then, you're approaching women where she has a friend present and sure, the friend can c@ckblock. Those are the circumstances under which you're attempting to make this work. It's a hostile environment going in. Plus, women may be in a serious relationship, she may be a lesbian, you may not be her type, she may just be there to dance, there's a lot that can be going on you don't know.

This has nothing to do with how good looking you may be.

Personally, edger, from what I've read that you've posted, I think there's something in your vibe that's not working for you.

I have found when you salivate over one and she is the only one in the pipeline, you have already prized her. Not because you are not proficient as a DJ, but simply because she is the only one.

I think the salivation is more about how she hits the right spot in my wiring rather then her being considered a prize. Yet I understand what you're saying fully, and I can see why and how that would happen, and does happen to guys, and that's why I intentionally don't permit myself to consider her in that way, so I don't fall into that trap.

It's great that she can make my endorphins fire, but "prizing" someone - that's all in the mind, really. When a tempting girl is the only option that gets your blood flowing, you could easily let your mind dwell on her - it feels good to do so. But, it's letting your mind dwell on it that then makes her loom larger then life and correspondingly gives her more importance in yours.

So I don't let my mind drift to thoughts of "wow, she's really great..." concerning her, I'll just let it happen if it happens (just knowing that it is an option is thought enough) and instead, think, "wow it would really be great if I could round up a few more like her" and look to my own life for things to do to keep myself entertained and busy as my "options" regardless whether i'm with anyone or not.

 

[Unprez]

I think every girl is a digger is some superficial way.... either it be money, looks, power, etc..... its all the same and fact is most of us are superficial so wht difference does it make if a girl is more into money and another more into looks its all the same bull**** in the end

 

[Mr. Me]

every girl is a digger is some superficial way.... either it be money, looks, power, etc..... its all the same and fact is most of us are superficial so what difference does it make if a girl is more into money and another more into looks its all the same

Being attracted to looks is not the same as being superficial. That has to do with physical attraction, which is a normal, healthy component of attraction. It's when you are with that person only because of one dimension, such as looks, that it becomes superficial.

People who go around alleging that they should be loved for "who they are on the inside" are also being superficial and hypocritical. They wish to have the physical attraction component negated in their case, and expect others to give up their desire for an attractive partner, while they themselves wouldn't want to settle with someone who isn't physically appealing to them.

But when a woman is only into what your money will treat her to (The Gold Digger), that's superficial, on top of which, that has nothing to do with attraction. That's not about chemistry. It has nothing to do with if you look good, if you have a great character, if your personality is amazing, how interesting your life may be, how stimulating your thoughts and conversation is, how balanced and wonderful you are and have a great take on life... the person you are regardless if you're rich today or poor today... nothing but what you can materially buy for her. Big difference.

 

[Nutz]

Being attracted to looks is not the same as being superficial. That has to do with physical attraction, which is a normal, healthy component of attraction. It's when you are with that person only because of one dimension, such as looks, that it becomes superficial.

People who go around alleging that they should be loved for "who they are on the inside" are also being superficial and hypocritical. They wish to have the physical attraction component negated in their case, and expect others to give up their desire for an attractive partner, while they themselves wouldn't want to settle with someone who isn't physically appealing to them.

Very well spoken. I'm going to use that next time some hater complains about me not wanting to get with fatties that have a "nice personality".

 

[edger]

I would say that there's more to your circumstance then you think.
There's a flaw in your premise that's unknown to you that accounts for that.



Here, you're establishing a premise that's specious.
There's several flaws in that logic.

1. That you will pull hot women based on your looks alone.

You're the guy that, from your previous posts, does things like wave at women you don't know to call them over
You're the guy that, IMO, misreads women upon which basis you then next them

2. That you actually are above average in looks.

Maybe to them, you're not. Or maybe you are, but you're not their type. Or maybe you are but there's something in your approach or body language that works against you.

3. That hot women will aprroach men.

Doesn't happen that often. They don't need to make approaches.

4. That your definition of "fair share" is realistic.

Maybe a couple every few months, what you have been getting, is more realistic then expecting a swarm of 9's and 10's to surround you every weekend.

5. That you can pull a ton of hot women in a club.

Maybe they're there with guys they already know, or are already in a social circle. Or since they're at a club on a weekend night, they have their shields up. Or again, hot women don't have to go making approaches.



The whole PUA idea of cold approaches and opening sets, though it can be done, isn't really the most conducive environment. You walk up to a woman on the street, for example, she's going to be naturally more on guard then say you met her at a mutual friend's party.

Then, you're approaching women where she has a friend present and sure, the friend can c@ckblock. Those are the circumstances under which you're attempting to make this work. It's a hostile environment going in. Plus, women may be in a serious relationship, she may be a lesbian, you may not be her type, she may just be there to dance, there's a lot that can be going on you don't know.

This has nothing to do with how good looking you may be.

Personally, edger, from what I've read that you've posted, I think there's something in your vibe that's not working for you.

It's possible that I might not be a lot of these women's "type"(although I've still been able to pull a woman like this in the past)...but whatever the problem it is that I'm encountering, I for sure can tell you it has nothing to do with my approach/body language/vibe I'm sending out. I've carefully analyzed that part of myself and can definitely rule that out as being a factor(you guys never believe me when I tell you these things). I'm a very confident guy, and it definitely shows. I make them feel comfortable, etc.

But back to the topic of "not their type": It's even been a problem pulling women who WOULD deem me as "their type". For instance, women within the Rock scene(Goth, Metal, etc. etc.). I 100% fit the musician mold, the type of guy that they'd want to have sex with, yet most of the time, if I see these women at a club, show, or on the street, they pass me right up, not sending out a single vibe of interest. Last weekend for example, I seen 2 very attractive gothic women walking on the street, beautiful..all corsetted and dolled up with nice make-up, in heels, showing a lot of leg...very sexy. But I guess you can guess what happened. They passed me right up, without vibing me or giving me a second look. And I'm clearly "their type". I know the types of guys they hook up with and have sex with. Very odd, there's nothing you can say to that.

As far as "types" are concerned, I think they're a bunch of bullsh*t. Women talk a lot of crap, everybody should know that around here. Don't get me wrong, some women DO only hook up with certain "types" of guys, but a lot of them are full of it. As it's been said here before, there are no such thing as "types" when it comes to most women. Sure, you'll hear lots of women say the want a certain type of guy that fits a certain mold, but a lot of times it's just a bunch of talk and they end up having sex with a guy who is the opposite. Do we not see that often?

 

[cordoncordon]

It's possible that I might not be a lot of these women's "type"(although I've still been able to pull a woman like this in the past)...but whatever the problem it is that I'm encountering, I for sure can tell you it has nothing to do with my approach/body language/vibe I'm sending out. I've carefully analyzed that part of myself and can definitely rule that out as being a factor(you guys never believe me when I tell you these things). I'm a very confident guy, and it definitely shows. I make them feel comfortable, etc.

But back to the topic of "not their type": It's even been a problem pulling women who WOULD deem me as "their type". For instance, women within the Rock scene(Goth, Metal, etc. etc.). I 100% fit the musician mold, the type of guy that they'd want to have sex with, yet most of the time, if I see these women at a club, show, or on the street, they pass me right up, not sending out a single vibe of interest. Last weekend for example, I seen 2 very attractive gothic women walking on the street, beautiful..all corsetted and dolled up with nice make-up, in heels, showing a lot of leg...very sexy. But I guess you can guess what happened. They passed me right up, without vibing me or giving me a second look. And I'm clearly "their type". I know the types of guys they hook up with and have sex with. Very odd, there's nothing you can say to that.

As far as "types" are concerned, I think they're a bunch of bullsh*t. Women talk a lot of crap, everybody should know that around here. Don't get me wrong, some women DO only hook up with certain "types" of guys, but a lot of them are full of it too. As it's been said here before, there are no such thing as "types" when it comes to most women. Sure, you'll hear lots of women say the want a certain type of guy that fits a certain mold, but a lot of times it's just a bunch of talk and they end up having sex with a guy who is the opposite. Do we not see that often?

Perhaps if we saw a picture of you we could all make a better judgment from where you are coming from as far as looks?

 

[edger]

Perhaps if we saw a picture of you we could all make a better judgment from where you are coming from as far as looks?

I've been very tempted to do that for a while. I just don't want to leak out my idenity here. Why? Cause a lot of things can backfire on me. For example, I have a reputation here on the board as one of those posters "who doesn't get hot women often". All I'd need is for some chick to see my pic., and then see me in a bar/club, and automatically disqualify me based on my reputation. Don't forget, a lot of women are now aware of the seduction community and sites like these, thanks to shows like 'The Pick-Up Artist', etc. Also, revealing my idenity can affect any future potential job prospects. I feel a lot of guys here don't like me, and if I were to ever come across them in the job market, to be hired for a job position, I'd be disqualified. That's why I advise people to never reveal their identities here. It's a small world out there and it's even smaller than you think, especially now that EVERYONE comes to the internet.

 

[edger]

I'll tell ya what, I'll post a pic of me from a distance with sunglasses. That's about as far as I'll go. I'll try to post it as soon as I can, and I'll make a thread. I'll take a few shots of myself.

 

[jophil28]

Here, you're establishing a premise that's specious.
There's several flaws in that logic.

1. That you will pull hot women based on your looks alone.

You're the guy that, from your previous posts, does things like wave at women you don't know to call them over
You're the guy that, IMO, misreads women upon which basis you then next them

2. That you actually are above average in looks.

Maybe to them, you're not. Or maybe you are, but you're not their type. Or maybe you are but there's something in your approach or body language that works against you.

3. That hot women will aprroach men.

Doesn't happen that often. They don't need to make approaches.

4. That your definition of "fair share" is realistic.

Maybe a couple every few months, what you have been getting, is more realistic then expecting a swarm of 9's and 10's to surround you every weekend.

5. That you can pull a ton of hot women in a club.

Maybe they're there with guys they already know, or are already in a social circle. Or since they're at a club on a weekend night, they have their shields up. Or again, hot women don't have to go making approaches.

The essence of your problem ( and the solution ) is in Mr ME's reply..
You need to fill in the fine detail.

 

[Mr. Me]

I for sure can tell you it has nothing to do with my approach/body language/vibe I'm sending out. I've carefully analyzed that part of myself

Edger, the more you swear it's not you, the more I think it is. It HAS to be.
I know I've gotten that kind of vibe from previous posts of yours too, that this guy edger is a leeeeetle off somehow...
You probably don't recognize it, because it seems normal to you. It's like when people can't see their own spelling mistakes, that's why there's a need for proof readers. Maybe you need another pair of eyes to proofread you maybe.

Maybe those chicks were goth wannabes and not really into goth guys, they just like the clothes?

Maybe it's the venues you go to attracting the wrong crowd for you?

Speaking of which, any luck at the Black & Blue Ball? Any luck at Otto's Shrunken Head?

I really don't wanna hijack this thread further. Start one if you need more suggestions.

 

[edger]

I know I've gotten that kind of vibe from previous posts of yours too, that this guy edger is a leeeeetle off somehow...

Care to explain?

 

[MatureDJ]

Now that I think about it 100 or more women in a LIFETIME certainly isn't anywhere near unreasonable, but 100 in a year is.

When I am in Eastern Europe, I typically date 10 women a month (if I haven't settled into one.)

 

[bornyesterday]

mark rudov is fun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii1-IN_MPLM&feature=channel

 

[darkstarrr]

Poor things, how ever will they cope?

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Features/2009/02/09/8325856-sun.html

I joined that site s-daddie.com last week just for shits and giggles and I must say the responses are quite overhwelming!

:woo:

 

[Deep Dish]

Last night I hit up a strip club, something which I rarely do. I was dressed like money and was approached by five strippers. Normally whenever I hit a strip club, I'm approached by one stripper (maybe two at most). The running average is zero, especially for the club I visited. This night was either a statistical fluke, I was doing something different, or I'm thinking the little wh0res are desperate. Heh heh.