Recent break up with BPD/crazy girl

[Infern0]

The chest beaters in this thread are legit comedy gold.

Keep it going guys, why don't you step it up and go break the hearts of some sociopaths haha

ImTheDoubleGreatest should write books and have his own tv show and stuff, he games bpds for fun, we could all learn a thing or two.

Hahahahaha

 

[wolf]

I just found this really interesting thread on BPD'S

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index....pd-please-help-if-you-have-experience.185333/

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Going into a dynamic knowing exactly what you are walking into is one thing..

Meeting a girl that mirrors you to make you believe you have met your 'soul mate' before devaluing you and discarding you is another thing.

Good point, I did not take that into consideration.

 

[051AV]

I've been there done that with a BPD it was an experience I don't want to repeat. No matter how attractive she is its not worth it, the drama she brought into my life walking on eggshells. Things would be going along smoothly then out of no where she starts some drama we end up in a fight. The I like you I hate you cycle never ended. I triggered her abandonment issues quite a bit I wasn't always there for her I was juggling other things in my life like financial problems and a career going south. She ended up latching onto a real beta guy he strikes out with women he tries so hard he thinks he's a womanizer he wanted to be with the BPD girl really bad she left me for him. Today I'm pretty sure his life is turned into a living hell he's still with her 3 years later I think she's got him convinced that she's the best thing for him. He's aged himself by a good 10 years its from her, its his problem not mine. I've learned from this experience if the girl has family issues and loves her fur children more than a guy run like hell she has issues. As much as I tried helping her and supporting her nothing helped her parents fvcked her up she's an intelligent and attractive young woman but she's fvcked for the rest of her life. That in a way makes me sad because she has potential but.... She pulled on my heart strings when I first met her when she started getting comfortable with me the crazy started coming out the stuff she hid from the world. The emotional roller coaster the lashing out at me, tried being there for her to bring her comfort worked for a little while. When I first met her she told me she's on medication that was the first thing she said. With her guy she is with now she didn't tell him till months into the relationship I think it was pretty close to a year.

Today I'm a new man I'm back around healthy women, trust me there is a recovery period after being with a BPD, you don't just wipe off the **** and your recovered. The guy she's with now if he doesn't do something soon he's going end up dead from a heart attack, he's such a beta he doesn't have the balls to do anything. I have to say never ever and I mean never ever get involved with a BPD woman no matter how hard she makes you it's not worth it. I started chatting up another chick 6 months ago started digging into her past found she has family issues that was the end of chatting her up.

 

[wolf]

With BPD's it's very much a case of the cure is in the sickness.

I guarantee once you properly recover from a BPD you will run like hell when you see another one coming!

 

[051AV]

With BPD's it's very much a case of the cure is in the sickness.

I guarantee once you properly recover from a BPD you will run like hell when you see another one coming!

Now I can see the red flags right away, no matter how physically attractive she is if she's a got BPD traits forget it. I lost many nights of sleep because of the BPD I was with, she would pick a fight I would end up thinking about it all night. She was always the one to start a fight, every fight was instigated by her, things would be going smoothly with us then bam right out of the blue, drama.

 

[wolf]

Now I can see the red flags right away, no matter how physically attractive she is if she's a got BPD traits forget it. I lost many nights of sleep because of the BPD I was with, she would pick a fight I would end up thinking about it all night. She was always the one to start a fight, every fight was instigated by her, things would be going smoothly with us then bam right out of the blue, drama.

I hear you Brother!

Never a word spoken in anger between her and I although I did catch the sharp tip of her raging tongue once or twice. It was her fear of abandonment that I had unknowingly triggered.

I yearned to keep things as they were in the beginning but my efforts were fruitless. I wpuld go to bed with one woman and wake up next to a completely different one though they shared the same body.

It was her 'flaky' behaviour that triggered me and spiralled me into a deep depression where I often fantasised of Death. Reminiscent of my own childhood abandonment and the anticipation of seeing my Father only to be let down time after time.

NEVER AGAIN!!!

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I hear you Brother!

Never a word spoken in anger between her and I although I did catch the sharp tip of her raging tongue once or twice. It was her fear of abandonment that I had unknowingly triggered.

I yearned to keep things as they were in the beginning but my efforts were fruitless. I wpuld go to bed with one woman and wake up next to a completely different one though they shared the same body.

It was her 'flaky' behaviour that triggered me and spiralled me into a deep depression where I often fantasised of Death. Reminiscent of my own childhood abandonment and the anticipation of seeing my Father only to be let down time after time.

NEVER AGAIN!!!

Maybe a blessing in disguise, but since my breakup 18 months ago I have not encountered another BPD. I have always wondered what it would be like to dance with a devil again (a different one, OF COURSE) just for a few months, to play along with the love bombing, and eject immediately just days after the devaluing begins. But I know I shouldn't play with fire again...

Haven't had the chance anyway. Mine pursued me like I was prey, and I meet very few women who act like that now. They all love to lay back and be pursued by hundreds of guys at a time. Or, maybe the BPDs are all around but sense my standoffish attitude and know I'm probably not prime prey anymore, so they pass.

 

[wolf]

Maybe a blessing in disguise, but since my breakup 18 months ago I have not encountered another BPD. I have always wondered what it would be like to dance with a devil again (a different one, OF COURSE) just for a few months, to play along with the love bombing, and eject immediately just days after the devaluing begins. But I know I shouldn't play with fire again...

Haven't had the chance anyway. Mine pursued me like I was prey, and I meet very few women who act like that now. They all love to lay back and be pursued by hundreds of guys at a time. Or, maybe the BPDs are all around but sense my standoffish attitude and know I'm probably not prime prey anymore, so they pass.

They are like sharks and can smell the blood of a wounded fish from miles away. You are no longer bleeding!

 

[Infern0]

I've been there done that with a BPD it was an experience I don't want to repeat. No matter how attractive she is its not worth it, the drama she brought into my life walking on eggshells. Things would be going along smoothly then out of no where she starts some drama we end up in a fight. The I like you I hate you cycle never ended. I triggered her abandonment issues quite a bit I wasn't always there for her I was juggling other things in my life like financial problems and a career going south. She ended up latching onto a real beta guy he strikes out with women he tries so hard he thinks he's a womanizer he wanted to be with the BPD girl really bad she left me for him. Today I'm pretty sure his life is turned into a living hell he's still with her 3 years later I think she's got him convinced that she's the best thing for him. He's aged himself by a good 10 years its from her, its his problem not mine. I've learned from this experience if the girl has family issues and loves her fur children more than a guy run like hell she has issues. As much as I tried helping her and supporting her nothing helped her parents fvcked her up she's an intelligent and attractive young woman but she's fvcked for the rest of her life. That in a way makes me sad because she has potential but.... She pulled on my heart strings when I first met her when she started getting comfortable with me the crazy started coming out the stuff she hid from the world. The emotional roller coaster the lashing out at me, tried being there for her to bring her comfort worked for a little while. When I first met her she told me she's on medication that was the first thing she said. With her guy she is with now she didn't tell him till months into the relationship I think it was pretty close to a year.

Today I'm a new man I'm back around healthy women, trust me there is a recovery period after being with a BPD, you don't just wipe off the **** and your recovered. The guy she's with now if he doesn't do something soon he's going end up dead from a heart attack, he's such a beta he doesn't have the balls to do anything. I have to say never ever and I mean never ever get involved with a BPD woman no matter how hard she makes you it's not worth it. I started chatting up another chick 6 months ago started digging into her past found she has family issues that was the end of chatting her up.

Just a not on yours replacing with a beta bucks the same happened with mine. Basically because I held her to some ..... and I emphasize some sort of standards.

She went to this poor chap who didn't know what he was dealing with and he ended up dead of an overdose within 2 years.

These girls are not to be taken lightly

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Just a not on yours replacing with a beta bucks the same happened with mine. Basically because I held her to some ..... and I emphasize some sort of standards.

She went to this poor chap who didn't know what he was dealing with and he ended up dead of an overdose within 2 years.

These girls are not to be taken lightly

From what I remember yours was REALLY bad, like 2 deaths yes?

Mine was a kitten by comparison. Cheating, hot/cold, breakups, cruelty, all often. But no fake pregnancies, violence or suicide attempts in front of me. It appears I got off easy...

 

[BlueAlpha1]

They are like sharks and can smell the blood of a wounded fish from miles away. You are no longer bleeding!

Either that or there just aren't too many of them. Idk, only like 2-3% of women allegedly have it? There are certain posters here who respond to these threads by claiming we vastly overestimate the number of these girls out there.

 

[wolf]

Either that or there just aren't too many of them. Idk, only like 2-3% of women allegedly have it? There are certain posters here who respond to these threads by claiming we vastly overestimate the number of these girls out there.

Personally... and I have done plenty of dating in my time.. I would say that 60-70% of women who use online dating either have a fully fledged Cluster B Personality Disorder or come very close to it. Either that or I have just dated a lot of Cluster B's but always got discarded after a month or two.

Personally I would say as many as 15% of the general population of women have a Cluster B Personality Disorder.
You have to remember that Cluster B Chicks rarely enter therapy and their problems are always someone else's fault!

 

[Infern0]

From what I remember yours was REALLY bad, like 2 deaths yes?

Mine was a kitten by comparison. Cheating, hot/cold, breakups, cruelty, all often. But no fake pregnancies, violence or suicide attempts in front of me. It appears I got off easy...

One death that I know of, she is still only 21 though.

She's ruined every guy she's been with though, I got lucky finding this site, saved me from anihalation

 

[Infern0]

Also BPD'S can tell when you know the deal and they tend to shy away from you. It's hard to fall for the same trick twice so they will get away from you

 

[wolf]

Also BPD'S can tell when you know the deal and they tend to shy away from you. It's hard to fall for the same trick twice so they will get away from you

This all comes down to their fear of abandonment. They will pile on the $hit tests for any guy in the beginning and if he stands up to her then she will bail. The $hit tests never stop though and they can come thick and fast.

Also i wish i had found this site 2 years ago. Instead i had Loveshack to read for advice..

 

[usernamedox11]

I normally would not date a BPD but I had been jacking off to this girl a year straight before dating her. I haven't been that physically attracted to a girl before. It's sad, if she was even 50% less crazy it might have been worth pursuing more seriously.

 

[051AV]

This all comes down to their fear of abandonment. They will pile on the $hit tests for any guy in the beginning and if he stands up to her then she will bail. The $hit tests never stop though and they can come thick and fast.

Also i wish i had found this site 2 years ago. Instead i had Loveshack to read for advice..

**** tests are correct, the one I was involved with I got lots, she hated the word NO if I stood up to her she would get mad. The turning point in our relationship when I said we need to go our separate ways she was seeing the other guy anyhow. She asked me why, after that my life turned into a miserable hell, the rollercoaster started in the end the wanted to see me pay for going my separate way. The lies she come up with to try turn people against me to make her look like the good person I was the evil one. In reality everybody hated her but she was in denial, I would say to her everybody hates you it would make her angry. She rubbed so many people the wrong way, she burned bridges with people. She would get really upset and say why I'm I hurting her feelings. I've seen her twice since we went our separate ways she gets really nervous seeing me she wouldn't give me eye contact. She knows I'm not like her current BF I stand up to her and I'm not a Beta male. Her last BF seemed to be a beta male a bit of metrosexual, just like her current BF.

 

[fastlife]

Maybe a blessing in disguise, but since my breakup 18 months ago I have not encountered another BPD. I have always wondered what it would be like to dance with a devil again (a different one, OF COURSE) just for a few months, to play along with the love bombing, and eject immediately just days after the devaluing begins. But I know I shouldn't play with fire again...

Haven't had the chance anyway. Mine pursued me like I was prey, and I meet very few women who act like that now. They all love to lay back and be pursued by hundreds of guys at a time. Or, maybe the BPDs are all around but sense my standoffish attitude and know I'm probably not prime prey anymore, so they pass.

If BPD's mirror though--and they do--and their issues only manifest themselves in attached relationships--which, at least for higher functioning BPD's, is true--then wouldn't it stand to reason that you could have flings/FWB-type relationships/or even full blown LTR's (with the right amount of psychic distance) with any number of BPD's and not ever be privy to the type of behaviors that drove you here in the first place?

If my relationship with my BPDex had ended after 3 weeks, I would still be convinced to this day that she was the sweetest, most genuine girl ever. That said, I've had a couple of flings with girls who I suspect could be full blown BPD's in the right context--definitely have the 'aura,' if you will & some similar dynamics from their childhood. And maybe they're just mirroring my improved boundaries & internal state. Or it's possible that these girls had other influences or strength of character to avert a full blown personality disorder & to overcome those personality traits. Or maybe that 'aura' we attribute to BPD is just strong mutual attraction and in the past we only experienced that 'chemistry' with girls whose personality flaws and insecurities matched our own templates.

Things to ponder...

 

[Infern0]

@fastlife

I think that you'd do better for a while longer if you were more solid than perhaps many of us were in our bpd relationships. But I think in the end some factor that may not be influenced by you, would bring out the old behaviours.

Also, what I call the "creepy factor" that all bpds have would probably put you off