Recent break up with BPD/crazy girl

[fastlife]

@Infern0 & @LARaiders85

Just throwing out hypotheticals. And as a disclaimer--100% not recommending guys use any of that to rationalize any attempt at preserving or attempting relationships with Cluster B's. But I do think it's interesting at a certain point (unless it's just a helluva a coincidence for me) they pretty much seem to stop existing--when you have a strong mindset & sense of boundaries & and clarity of structure for what you will & won't allow into your life (including idealization), I think all but the most emotionally dysfunctional of women will fall in line.

I do agree with @Infern0 that at a certain point pwBPD will nuke the relationship or have their fear of abandonment triggered & will absolutely never be someone you want to build a life with; but I also think that their demands for narcissistic supply correlate directly with what self-sacrifices they perceive you'll make to accommodate those demands. I know with my ex there were 100 small instances I can think of where I slipped; and those instances were almost always followed by an escalation of the emotional dysfunction she would introduce into our lives (but always within the limits of what she knew I would allow her to get away with). These days, most girls will disappear entirely before they bring up any sort of demands for more of my time or attention (still a faulty coping mechanism--but one that's much more bearable).

 

[Infern0]

The other thing about BPD'S is they will cheat for no reason.

My bpd ex had got with a new guy and I hadn't talked to her for months, I think she'd been with the new guy for 2 weeks when on a Friday night she starts texting me to meet her in the clubs so she can give me a bj down an alley! She was acting extremely drunk but I called her bluff and said nah you get in a taxi and come to mine. And she DID. She was at my house blowing me and I ended up rough analing her because might as well. And halfway through she's stopping to text by that she's having a great night but misses him. Then straight back to getting piledriven by me!

She had 0 conscious or guilt about it, the next day she's posting instagram of him and her, wearing some new jewelry he bought her, on a day trip he's paying for saying he's the love of her life. And she was dirty texting me at the same time telling me she could still feel my **** in her ass.

The new guy wanted to marry her!

This was the same dude who later killed himself btw.

So like I say it's extreme high risk playing with these girls and requires a certain level of jadedness. It goes beyond "game" you have to have a cold heart to hang. And in my opinion if you haven't experienced it, don't go there.

 

[GoodOne123]

There comes a point where you have read enough about bpd and you're sick of it. Know when enough is enough.

As far as advice and info goes, the guys have given you everything.

Fundamentally there's not much to think about here. You were either inexperienced or foolish, and got involved with a disordered individual who is not worth your time.

Just don't let her take any more space in your brain.

 

[wolf]

There comes a point where you have read enough about bpd and you're sick of it. Know when enough is enough.

As far as advice and info goes, the guys have given you everything.

Fundamentally there's not much to think about here. You were either inexperienced or foolish, and got involved with a disordered individual who is not worth your time.

Just don't let her take any more space in your brain.

Personally I think this Thread should be Stickied!

 

[Polysix]

There comes a point where you have read enough about bpd and you're sick of it. Know when enough is enough.

As far as advice and info goes, the guys have given you everything.

Fundamentally there's not much to think about here. You were either inexperienced or foolish, and got involved with a disordered individual who is not worth your time.

Just don't let her take any more space in your brain.

I have to agree with GoodOne123, there is already so much good info on this board about BPD. It helped me alot to search about the topic on this board to get over my Ex. The thread from 2011 that wolf linked on page 2 is very good esp. the insights from AlexDP. But as BPDs won't change there isn't so much new to think or talk about. All this BPD blame game sucks, don't forget it's a it's a terrible disease, they didn't choose to get it and remember: 'We have far more in common that which divides us.' Ever heard of the don juanism syndrome of males with PDs? Sure.

 

[usernamedox11]

Yeah, will never again deal with a BPD. The thing about it though, you'll never have that instant chemistry with regular girls. Little dull in comparison, but my 2nd experience dating one has been enough for me.

To guys out there, if you suspect a girl you meet has BPD based on the red flags you see, proceed with caution and protect yourself if you really want to experience it so you come out of it with the least amount of damage. Sometimes dealing with these girls, in their lucid moments, you begin to wonder if they are really BPD and think there is something there that can be worked, but I think this is fruitless 99% of the time.

 

[051AV]

I've always been around healthy women I mean mentally healthy, today I'm around healthy women. Do I still think about the BPD girl? yes, but I couldn't ever go through what she put me through again.

The BPD I was with lost her most powerful weapon ie her looks, she had a smoking hot body every guy would flirt with her she would love it when guys would flirt with her in front of me. When a girl flirted with me in front of her that was another story that would be a good reason to start drama. She's grown herself a set of thunder thighs her but has doubled in size has a muffin. Knew it was coming she was eating really poorly when she was fighting with me, eat like the way she was I knew she's going to gain weight. Makes me laugh she doesn't have too many guys flirting with her now she better keep her beta man.