Realizing Just How "Alone" I Am

[G_Govan]

I wouldn't exactly call it an "issue", but perhaps a problem. I keep getting shown that humans (especially men) are not incredibly reliable unless the person they're dealing with is an attractive woman. Some bytch needs her tire changed and the guy's on her doorstep, but in the meantime he's abandoning the friend who needs help holding up drywall to refinish his living room.

Women will return favours no matter what the person's sex is. They're the ones who advocate the whole "pass it forward" concept. Being indebted to someone makes them feel obligated to return a favour. Seeing someone in need makes them feel obligated to be the good person and help out. That's why women are huge advocates for pet rescues and feeding the homeless.

Men primarily have the need to look after their own 5hit first, and indulge in their own pleasure first, whereas women will drop what they're doing because their emotions have shifted due to someone in need.

I can agree with this but mostly in the context of "culture." I have an east Indian friend who'd give you the shirt off his back if needed, but he comes from a very different place. His culture promotes strong family ties and close bonds between men. Their women are generally very family oriented and accept their roles as caretakers of the home willingly and happily. Some of them are now excelling in the workplace as doctors etc., but they maintain a strong commitment to family/close friends.

My family is a typical dysfunctional, American family. Feminist culture, I believe, is to blame when it comes to the way a lot of men behave toward each other. If you aren't helping a guy get money or pu--y he doesn't need you. Most of my friends disappeared when they got girlfriends and would only hang out if they were in a dry spell. We pretty much get bashed at every turn in the media; movies, TV shows, advertisements, etc. In fact, it's become quite annoying that I can't seem to find a single show that doesn't do this. Women are always depicted as innocent, moral and smarter than men. If they do something bad it's some guys fault, ultimately.

 

[ubercat]

Gotta agree with Tenacity. I go to some meet up groups. Lot of UGs Watching the guys climb over each other to get the attention of some sub-par puss is enough to turn u MGTOW

 

[thatfeel]

However, you seem to be needy, which is a concern. If you can't handle not having someone around, you should just give up and marry some fat chick; this is the main reason why so many in the military have fat wives.

Lol, wow, that's an extreme if I've ever seen one.

 

[Tenacity]

Wanted to update this thread here.

So all four of my wisdom teeth will get pulled next Thursday, my pay will be $311 after the insurance company pays the rest of it. But the fvcking anesthesia they won't cover none of it, and they are saying I have to pay the entire $466 for the anesthesia?

Does this sound right to you guys? My dental insurance is saying they only cover anesthesia when you are in an accident of some type. I never knew this?

 

[resilient]

Premiums are going up across the board next year. In preparation for insurance snags, companies have been "wish-washing" how medical services are billed. It's getting "legal"esque where insurance and companies duke it out for who's responsible for what. I'm losing dental coverage soon when my wife and I split, not looking forward to dental work in the years to come. Hopefully I can avoid crowns, fillings or root canals -- all three are expensive.

 

[Tenacity]

Just did the wisdom teeth extraction this morning. In my opinion, there was no reason for me to have a "Nanny" accompany me. It was over in about 35 minutes, I was knocked out, didn't feel anything.

Right after it was I still sleepy just off of the Xanaxx I had to take for the most part, but all I needed to do at the MOST part was just sleep in the lobby for maybe 1 hour or so, and I would have been fine to drive back home.

My apartment is just 15 minutes away from the office for goodness sakes.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Interesting thread. It's funny because I can only think of two friends off the top of my head. Those are two guys I met off a forum about business. One lives near me but travels all the time and the other guy lives in Boston.

What we have in common?

We strive to make a lot of money and we enjoy getting girls

I don't need or want friends. As long as I got one like minded guy that wants to go out and get bitches when I want then I'm good. And actually over the years I've just been doing this solo when I wasn't in a relationship. I only see a need for a friend if it can benefit me and I'm selfish and I know it.

 

[raider87]

I don't need or want friends. As long as I got one like minded guy that wants to go out and get *****es when I want then I'm good. And actually over the years I've just been doing this solo when I wasn't in a relationship. I only see a need for a friend if it can benefit me and I'm selfish and I know it.

We should hang out together. We should go fishing.

Just read the thread. I realized I was alone when no one would pick me up from the airport lol

 

[HeadLightsOn]

"New friends are like silver, old friends are like gold" never a truer word said.

Sometimes when we are on the road to self improvement, popping those red pills, MGTOW etc etc, we actually can lose sight of the truer meanings in life.

I've been where you are and I've also done some decent self should searching - in my moderate slightly clinical way. This is what I have learnt so far:

1. The most important thing to you in life is your health. Family, friends and money mean nothing, when you have a belly full of cancer or similar. Health first - mental, emotional, physical. Period.

2. Family and friends are crucial to the development, happiness and health of an individual. Sure I can be alone, and often I am. But to garner friendship people need to want to be around you, whether they be family or friends. And they will want to be around you for a simple reason - they like you. You make them feel good. You are a decent person. Not a sap, not a yes man, not a fake person, but someone who has a good soul.

3. Self development is a good thing. Financial health, good physicality, social skills and circles of people you can at least touch base with. However this is often difficult to achieve in a society when screens, FB 'friends' and social media replace one thing. Actual human contact. When was the last time you got to know someone? I mean REALLY put in some effort. Not touch base with them, but know them. You'll have to listen, not speak. Try it. It's really, really good.

4. It's easy to complain about being alone when you don't offer a branch for someone else to grab. Being the bigger person and putting yourself out there, is a skill that has been very rewarding to me. Without being over friendly, or trying to befriend any and everyone, just slowly makes progress in this area. There is a big difference between an acquaintance and a friend.

5. Realise that your self worth - as a person, not just this cool guy, or a wealthy man for example, but as YOU, is the greatest asset in your persona that you have. From that comes confidence, like-ability, manliness, friendliness and a host of other traits. That results in (wait for it), people wanting to know you. Your mental and emotional health grow, you grow and it self perpetuates.

No doubt there will be some people reading this, thinking I'm advocating some type of soppy, self help manual. I'm not. Really. People that are close to me would say I am business sharp, can be opinionated and don't suffer fools easily. But it's the whole package that counts.

In summary, you can be all M.A.N and still be liked, welcomed and befriended by many different people. If you feel inclined, PM me and we can chat.

Out.

 

[BeTheChange]

Interesting thread but not at all surprised by it.

Anyone who doesn't have friends who would go out on a limb for them needs to get better friends.

Like Atom has said these are relationships you have to cultivate, sometimes over decades.

Some of my friends were there for me at my lowest points, supporting me at a time when there was zero benefit for them, but knowing I would do the same.

It's funny.

Because we're taught here to invest so much time in bettering ourselves as men and perfecting our skills with women, when time applied to developing friendships would be equally important, if not moreso.

Having a quality social network will catapult your career, social life, options with women and overall happiness.

One of my favourite scenes in Game of Thrones is when Renly and Stannis meet together before their two armies intend to fight. Stannis declares that the Iron Throne is his by right but Renly's army dwarfs his own. Renly turn to him and says

"You never wanted any friends brother, but a man without friends is a man without power"

 

[Desdinova]

Interesting thread but not at all surprised by it.

Anyone who doesn't have friends who would go out on a limb for them needs to get better friends.

This can be easier said than done for some people. What is the basis of your friendship? Your love for football games? Fishing? Classic cars? Playing "Magic: The Gathering"? I'm not into any of that. The things I'm interested in are uncommon which makes it more rare to find friends I can relate to, and even after that you have to weed out the garbage ones.

The best thing about having women as friends is they don't give a fvck what you're into. As long as they feel good when they're around you and see you as passionate about your interests, they won't have a problem tagging along with you. The problems come when you get a gf, when the girl gets a jealous bf, or when one of those female friends decides they want to be in a relationship with you.

One of my favourite scenes in Game of Thrones is when Renly and Stannis meet together before their two armies intend to fight. Stannis declares that the Iron Throne is his by right but Renly's army dwarfs his own. Renly turn to him and says

See, and I can't relate to that either because I don't watch television. How would I form a friendship with you?

 

[BeTheChange]

This can be easier said than done for some people. What is the basis of your friendship? Your love for football games? Fishing? Classic cars? Playing "Magic: The Gathering"? I'm not into any of that. The things I'm interested in are uncommon which makes it more rare to find friends I can relate to, and even after that you have to weed out the garbage ones.

The best thing about having women as friends is they don't give a fvck what you're into. As long as they feel good when they're around you and see you as passionate about your interests, they won't have a problem tagging along with you. The problems come when you get a gf, when the girl gets a jealous bf, or when one of those female friends decides they want to be in a relationship with you.



See, and I can't relate to that either because I don't watch television. How would I form a friendship with you?

I agree. Most friendships are initially based on some shared interests and commonalities.

What you say about female friends might be true but as we all know, females can be very fickle and imo are intrinsically less loyal than men.

Pairs is right. Male friendship > Female friendship. And his post supports the point I'm making really.

Getting to the point where you can attract HB 8+ and above isn't easy for most guys but it's still encouraged here.

With that in mind I think there also needs to be more emphasis on enriching your social life and developing non-romantic lasting relationships.

 

[zekko]

I think most male friendships are based on mutual interests - you golf together, you shoot weapons together, you play music together, you play cards together - whatever it may be.

The key with women is whether or not they are high interest. I think most women will be on good behavior as long as they are high interest. That's the whole trick really. Most of the problems guys here have with women would be eliminated if they weren't out with women who had low interest in them. Of course, many men might say "easier said than done", how do you get a woman to be high interest? But part of the problem also is that guys put up with too much low interest behavior.

 

[Married Buried]

Avyone else LIKE being alone? I hate male friends, they have ****ed me like women often, I just like family and my ONE woman. I like having one woman. I won't cheat on her. I THINK I got one of the last sweet one's left not ready to go proclaiming it or anything we'll see.

 

[Desdinova]

You have to bite the bullet. Force yourself into some male activities. Female friendships simply do not compare unless you're sleeping with them and even then you know that they will throw all that away for some sort of hypergamy b*******

Let's see... Forcing myself to do something I really don't enjoy doing for the sake of company... Isn't that much like the path of the AFC? If I ever have a GF who invites me to goes to see male strippers with her friends, then perhaps I shall accompany them just so I have her company.

Compromising my time for the chance I may or may not end up with a loyal male friend seems like a waste of time to me. I much prefer having a handful of temporary loyal female friends who will help me at the drop of a hat as opposed to having a handful of life-long male friends who are usually too busy to help me with anything; one of the reasons being that his fvcking girlfriend wants to visit her family and he feels he shouldn't piss her off by not going.

What you say about female friends might be true but as we all know, females can be very fickle and imo are intrinsically less loyal than men.

They're only less loyal when they lose interest. That's when you toss and replace, just like today's electronics. Once she's no longer useful, just throw her away and get a new one. It costs nothing but a little time to replace women in your life. There's a lot of women out there I'm not attracted to, and they'll out-perform all my male friends hands down, even if they're only around for a year or less.

I've actually made one very good female friend. She's a good ten years or more older than me, and she's a male acquaintance's mom. That woman will bend over backwards for me, and when she needs something from me, I'm there without question. Her kid? I get along with him fine, but I can't say I'd be able to ask him for any favours. He's busy attending his gf's friend's birthday parties and such.

 

[zekko]

They're only less loyal when they lose interest. That's when you toss and replace, just like today's electronics. Once she's no longer useful, just throw her away and get a new one.

I agree with this entirely. A high interest woman will do practically anything for you. Funny thing is, the older I get, the more mileage I seem to be able to get out of them. Not sure why that is. And as you say, if their interest wanes or their fickle nature takes over, you just get another one. As long as you don't buy into that "till death do you part" business, I think you can get quite a few good years from a woman. It's just a matter of managing your expectations accordingly - every relationship has a shelf life.

I don't really buy into all this "only 3% of men are good with women" stuff, or all that "elite male" business, but the point is if you can have some high value, you should be able to attract high interest.

 

[ubercat]

Sorry guys posted in the wrong thread.

So back on Point common interests can be pretty Broad my best mate is totally different from me. I'm sporty he s arty etc. But we agree to do some things together anyway. He came round for a coffee last week and I was off to the hardware store so we went together. So he sacrificed a bit of his day to keep me company. Today Even though I was knackered from a date I got up early to prep food for anj BBQ we are going to. So I think you do have to offer the hand a bit.

 

[ztas]

Change your goals as a DJ.... Don't just go for a large number of casual flings/plates/choices. Use your skills to actually get into a steady relationship. Yes, the 'thrill of the chase' might disappear after a while, the fornication might get boring/less, but.....you will have someone reliable in these situations, and someone at home to share a meaningful life with. A lot of the DJ skills would still apply in a real long-term relationship!
cheers

 

[Solomon]

Great thread OP

I find it hilarious how everyone is trying to make it seem like OP is the problem.
I come from a military family, values like loyalty, friendship etc where something I was raised with and cherish
The truth is most people are not worthy of having friendships you have a lot of people who just want to use you for personal gain.
Especially of the our generation (Millennials)
Once you realize how fickle and selfish most people are it allows you to move accordingly

I rather have one loyal friend who is willing to have my back than a 1,0000 phoney ones

 

[oldspice891]

I was in the same situation. I ended up driving myself home for almost an hour and a half. I couldn't take a Vicodin and I took the gauze out of my mouth (huge mistake) so I was pouring blood out of my mouth and yes it was painful.

However, I just took care of it because no one would take me. I knew I had to get it done, so I got it done.

I am very similar to you. I have been alone most of my whole life. I was a loner in high school only near the end I had a solid group of friends. Similar to college I was alone some parts and had friends others. I can honestly say the past year I've had a group of buddies I hang out with and I'm very happy and grateful for that. I had a serious relationship where she was there for me but near the end not so much.

You're just a lone wolf, as am I. Once you get to know a lot of people, actually, I think a lot of people are alone and feel alone. I would say there are more people that feel or actually are this way than you think. You just don't know about it because social media is all about portraying a better life style to others. It's all just a huge circle jerk.

There's lots of people I meet who may have a friend or two they hang out with, or none at all really...and they just do their thing. It's life really. We all are trying to look for happiness and companionship.

Honestly, who cares? Life is short. We're all going to die one day. Just do what makes you happy. If you like being alone, and chilling with your friends here and there and smashing a chick or two here and there. Then cool man do your thing. Just do whatever makes you happy.