Reaching 40, successful, no luck with women

[DreamAgain]

It's probably not your body but your face I'm sorry to be blunt, are you an old looking 40?

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

how long was your longest relationship? i assume you had girlfriends in your 20s?

 

[user252009]

I’ll be moving out of Germany in a few years, I just can’t stand the people and the society here. I’m not looking 40, I’m 38 but looking 33-35 I’d say since I don’t smoke, drink and am not super overweight. I’ve had 10 gfs so far, my longest one was 2 or 3 years I think.

 

[Manure Spherian]

This is why people push gymmaxxing I guess.

It’s the easiest form of maxxing.

 

[SW15]

It's probably not your body but your face I'm sorry to be blunt, are you an old looking 40?

Face and hair can be issues. @Mike32ct is well known for promoting the idea that the Big 3 for men 35+ are height, hair, and money. If @user252009 has a balding issue at 38 (common), that can impact results.

@sangheilios is 6'4", 230 lbs, and fit/muscular. Those are 'Chad' stats. A generic 6'4", 230 lb guy who is fit/muscular has the potential to see his results diminish if his face or hairline are not deemed attractive. With that said, 6'4", 230 lbs, and muscularity can make up for a lot of deficiencies.

 

[corrector]

It’s the easiest form of maxxing.

It is if you have the time to go to the Gym. The OP sounds like he has the money, so he should be able to afford the time to take some time off work and get it done.

 

[Solomon]

I’ll be moving out of Germany in a few years, I just can’t stand the people and the society here. I’m not looking 40, I’m 38 but looking 33-35 I’d say since I don’t smoke, drink and am not super overweight. I’ve had 10 gfs so far, my longest one was 2 or 3 years I think.

Your attitude is holding you back your negativity is fueling your anxiety and your insecurity of not speaking German well enhances all these negative traits. Women pick up on this energy they are like dogs when it comes to this and have a great 6th sense. My advice would be to work on your insecurities/mindset attitude first at the same time you can work on improving your "Deutch"

Do you have any local friends? People you go out to eat with or do things with?
If you don't have one try to befriend a local guy who is willing to take you under his wing
Maybe you can link up with a travel group that speaks English and does group activities
Because even if you do get a woman it's not going to work why? because of your mindset and attitude, the best case scenario is you end up with a woman you're not attracted to or the better case scenario is you work on your stuff step by step, brick by brick and eventually get yourself out of this funk

It's not easy but then again no one ever gave a manual to this thing called life and ever said it was

 

[Dr.Suave]

I remember when I was very young, in my late teens, my therapist told me if I didn't ever find a woman, I would be one of the most miserable men on the planet.

Wtf? Im no expert on psychology but that doesnt sound right to me.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Wtf? Im no expert on psychology but that doesnt sound right to me.

Not right as inappropriate for a healthcare setting or not right as in I wouldn’t be miserable?

I think I’d be a miserable.

Keep in mind, this psychologist was not typical. I first saw him at 17 years old in 1996, before I logged onto the net and there was no RP, BP, or whatever. I got my red pilling on women from him and my own life observations. He was a real, tell-it-like-it-is guy and saw incels and many women in his practice.

 

[TB24]

My advice would be to work on your insecurities/mindset attitude first

I guess this is easier said than done. How should he do this?

 

[pipeman84]

Face and hair can be issues. @Mike32ct is well known for promoting the idea that the Big 3 for men 35+ are height, hair, and money. If @user252009 has a balding issue at 38 (common), that can impact results.

This maxxing nonsense is cracking me up ... he's living in a country where +20yrs old escorts are legal and easily accessible, yet he's supposed to maxx to maybe, eventually, hopefully get in bed with a single mom close to 40yrs old. And that after hours of messaging and basically being her emotional tampon, when OP is complaining he hasn't got time to go to the gym.

Your attitude is holding you back your negativity is fueling your anxiety and your insecurity of not speaking German well enhances all these negative traits. Women pick up on this energy they are like dogs when it comes to this and have a great 6th sense.

100%. OP has been starting threads in the same vein for the past year.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You are not taking the feedback you are getting when you meet these women and doing anything productive with it.

The feedback is they aren't interested. What is causing it?

Are you not a good conversationalist?

Are you boring in person?

Are you too needy?

Not sexual enough?

The problem with you "giving up" is that you are not doing what you would do in business when you "fail" at something, which is learn from it and adjust what you are doing. Fail again, fail differently, fail better.

Eventually you will find what works and crack the code so to speak.

Unwillingness to do this simply means you will continue to fail without it ever leading to success because you are simply not using your failures as a springboard too success.

Dating is a numbers game. You keep going and keep adjusting until you find what works. No different than what you did at your work that allowed you to "up your game" financially over the last few years.

Apply that mindset to women now.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

If a late 30s/early 40s wants to meet a 20 something, the best thing he can do in order to achieve that is meet women through some real life method.

You can on OLD. But. Unless you want to betabucks, you have to be very attractive.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

This maxxing nonsense is cracking me up ... he's living in a country where +20yrs old escorts are legal and easily accessible, yet he's supposed to maxx to maybe, eventually, hopefully get in bed with a single mom close to 40yrs old. And that after hours of messaging and basically being her emotional tampon, when OP is complaining he hasn't got time to go to the gym.


100%. OP has been starting threads in the same vein for the past year.

Face and hair can be issues. @Mike32ct is well known for promoting the idea that the Big 3 for men 35+ are height, hair, and money. If @user252009 has a balding issue at 38 (common), that can impact results.

@sangheilios is 6'4", 230 lbs, and fit/muscular. Those are 'Chad' stats. A generic 6'4", 230 lb guy who is fit/muscular has the potential to see his results diminish if his face or hairline are not deemed attractive. With that said, 6'4", 230 lbs, and muscularity can make up for a lot of deficiencies.

Improve and -max for yourself.
Being attractive is a social lubricant. Life on easy-mode.

 

[sangheilios]

You are not taking the feedback you are getting when you meet these women and doing anything productive with it.

The feedback is they aren't interested. What is causing it?

Are you not a good conversationalist?

Are you boring in person?

Are you too needy?

Not sexual enough?

The problem with you "giving up" is that you are not doing what you would do in business when you "fail" at something, which is learn from it and adjust what you are doing. Fail again, fail differently, fail better.

Eventually you will find what works and crack the code so to speak.

Unwillingness to do this simply means you will continue to fail without it ever leading to success because you are simply not using your failures as a springboard too success.

Dating is a numbers game. You keep going and keep adjusting until you find what works. No different than what you did at your work that allowed you to "up your game" financially over the last few years.

Apply that mindset to women now.

I'm not really sure if I agree with this. Women could be rejecting you or losing interest for so many different things that it could be impossible to determine what is going on.

IF you are getting flat out rejections or something like phone numbers not leading to anything it's just them not being interested, not even worth considering.

IF you are getting them out on a meetup but it doesn't lead to anything more than one or two dates then there is something else going on. Maybe she had initial interest but felt you guys didn't have much in common? Maybe you have some quirks that she didn't pick up on that irritate her? Maybe she doesn't like your sense of humor? Maybe some other guy she is interested in hit her up and he takes priority over you?

The most robotically repeated things on here are you need to be in shape, look presentable, have good hygiene, etc. This stuff is so obvious it really shouldn't even need to be discussed.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Let’s keep in mind that Germany, while it has come a very long way since Kristalnacht, is still a place with some fairly well entrenched xenophobia.

I’d bet you a kg of the finest Masala that the OP does not fall within the skin tone gradient that the white girls he is most likely mainly attracted to would find acceptable.

As unpopular as it may be to say so sometimes it’s a bridge too far and you must adjust expectations, it’s not fair, it’s not just, it just is. Just like we say “genetic jackpot” to describe Chadeus - he still may not appeal to his target audience - pick one.

I reserve the right to be incorrect on the provenance of the OP and his targets.

 

[sangheilios]

Let’s keep in mind that Germany, while it has come a very long way since Kristalnacht, is still a place with some fairly well entrenched xenophobia.

I’d bet you a kg of the finest Masala that the OP does not fall within the skin tone gradient that the white girls he is most likely mainly attracted to would find acceptable.

As unpopular as it may be to say so sometimes it’s a bridge too far and you must adjust expectations, it’s not fair, it’s not just, it just is. Just like we say “genetic jackpot” to describe Chadeus - he still may not appeal to his target audience - pick one.

I reserve the right to be incorrect on the provenance of the OP and his targets.

Has he mentioned being non white?

You are totally correct, man, and it's a conversation I've had with people myself.

There is a person I knew that is around my age that was lamenting over having issues with women. Anyway, he is average height, fit but east African/Muslim. I remember having a conversation about him with someone else and the other guy talked about this E. African having "no game". I then told him that it's not game and that a Muslim African will have a hard time with the dating pool in America. I don't care what anyone says, this is how things work. I think the ONLY race of men that can typically do well anywhere would be a white man, there are plenty of social stats that back this up.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm not really sure if I agree with this. Women could be rejecting you or losing interest for so many different things that it could be impossible to determine what is going on.

IF you are getting flat out rejections or something like phone numbers not leading to anything it's just them not being interested, not even worth considering.

IF you are getting them out on a meetup but it doesn't lead to anything more than one or two dates then there is something else going on. Maybe she had initial interest but felt you guys didn't have much in common? Maybe you have some quirks that she didn't pick up on that irritate her? Maybe she doesn't like your sense of humor? Maybe some other guy she is interested in hit her up and he takes priority over you?

The most robotically repeated things on here are you need to be in shape, look presentable, have good hygiene, etc. This stuff is so obvious it really shouldn't even need to be discussed.

It could be but there will always be common denominators that exist among them if it continues to happen over and over again.

That's why you need to be paying attention in-date to how she is reacting to what you are doing/saying/acting by body language, facial expressions etc...

It's called being active in date rather than being passive. If you are doing this, you will or should know where things went from good to bad...or if she wasn't into you from the beginning. Her body language upon meeting you should be a dead giveaway on her initial interest.

Failing to understand where you are starting from at the beginning of a date leads to not knowing if you fvcked up somewhere or if she simply never wa interested to begin with.

 

[Clockwerk50]

You said you have reached the max point where your finances are excellent or the point where if you keep going you’ll reach a diminishing point of return. This is good and all; however, it looks like you are not enjoying life.

My questions are what are your hobbies? What do you do for fun? What are your future goals? Do you just want to **** or do you want a relationship? And if so why?

To be honest, and with your defeatist attitude, any girl will chew you up, spit you out, and you will end up with a broken heart. In addition to this, other girls would be asking themselves “why would I follow and try to seduce this loser that doesn’t do anything fun and just complains about his life”?

You can do jumping jacks, push ups, and sit ups at home. Just put a youtube video where they show you how to do a HIIT body workout in 20 minutes. The reason people suggest you to workout is to increase your testosterone, makes you self-sufficient, more assertive, and make you look better in a more masculine way.

I think before you start meeting people you need to read about how each gender is (masculinity is about building while the female energy is about creating relationships) and your inner game (start by being enjoying what you are doing). Start also by working out and then come back here for step number 2.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

At Forty. I would make it a priority to become successful with women. Or. At least get a GF. My incel friends passed the 40 mark without women. And. Are still solo today, years later. At 40. there is still time to identify what’s wrong, correct it. And get success.
Having a woman is the best thing.
Everything else is cope.