Reaching 40, successful, no luck with women

[user252009]

I've massively upped my financial and social status in the last two years. My physique is almost the same as it was, maybe a bit worse due to being tired from work and my side business, which leaves very little energy to go to the gym regularly. Hopefully with warmer days ahead, I can go biking regularly which should help both physically and mentally as well, seeing that I'm living in a depressive country like Germany. No luck with women, been single for 2,5 years now and no s3x during this time either. It's pretty bad and I'm trying to get some females going but as I met them all online they're all somewhat away from me. All the ones I've met in real life here I've had no luck so I basically stopped trying. What else is there to do but to basically give up and continue hustling away on the work and the big passions in my life?

 

[PlatoPacks23]

write online about how unsuccessful you are and do nothing

 

[user252009]

write online about how unsuccessful you are and do nothing

I tried going out but my anxiety as well as the fact I don’t speak smooth German prevents me from effectively communicate with women here - I tried initiating contact a few times but the result and the fear is so bad I just don’t do it. And due to my job and side hustle I don’t have the energy to go to the gym several times a week.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

I tried going out but my anxiety as well as the fact I don’t speak smooth German prevents me from effectively communicate with women here - I tried initiating contact a few times but the result and the fear is so bad I just don’t do it. And due to my job and side hustle I don’t have the energy to go to the gym several times a week.

you are just the king of excuses. "I dont speak smooth German" well move then. "I tried going out but have anxiety" well practice more. "my job and side hustle means im tired and can't go to gym" - excuses.


What do you want people to say here? Everyone here deals with fear, being busy, various issues that make attraction difficult. and some of us continue to go out and work on ourselves and do it.

In the time you complained about this you could have done 20 push ups. Im done.

 

[user252009]

you are just the king of excuses. "I dont speak smooth German" well move then. "I tried going out but have anxiety" well practice more. "my job and side hustle means im tired and can't go to gym" - excuses.


What do you want people to say here? Everyone here deals with fear, being busy, various issues that make attraction difficult. and some of us continue to go out and work on ourselves and do it.

In the time you complained about this you could have done 20 push ups. Im done.

You don't have all the details - I can't move yet. "Practice more" - I tried, it leads nowhere but to even worse anxiety than before. How do you find 1 hour of gym time most days when you work 9 - 18, come home, then work on the side hustle for the rest of the day? It's tiring enough as it is already.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

You don't have all the details - I can't move yet. "Practice more" - I tried, it leads nowhere but to even worse anxiety than before. How do you find 1 hour of gym time most days when you work 9 - 18, come home, then work on the side hustle for the rest of the day? It's tiring enough as it is already.

how do people in prison get so ripped? buy a chin up bar ("I can't afford it!!"), and do push ups at home pyramid style.


What do you want people to say? You suck, you are hopeless? Opening multiple sets in a row helps with state so you dont have time to get stuck in your head

 

[user252009]

how do people in prison get so ripped? buy a chin up bar ("I can't afford it!!"), and do push ups at home pyramid style.


What do you want people to say? You suck, you are hopeless? Opening multiple sets in a row helps with state so you dont have time to get stuck in your head

People in prison? They have all the time in the world to not do anything else, what is this comparison? I'm talking about not having energy. "Opening multiple sets" ah, you're one of the pick up guys, I see

 

[Manure Spherian]

How do you find 1 hour of gym time most days when you work 9 - 18, come home, then work on the side hustle for the rest of the day?

You can’t.

Live your life. Strike up conversations with women that give you IOI and ask them out, use online dating if you want to.

 

[user252009]

You can’t.

Live your life. Strike up conversations with women that give you IOI and ask them out, use online dating if you want to.

Yeah I do that, but my problem is I mistake friendliness with IOI, which makes for a lot of awkwardness down the road

 

[Manure Spherian]

Yeah I do that, but my problem is I mistake friendliness with IOI, which makes for a lot of awkwardness down the road

Your mistake harms no one.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

People in prison? They have all the time in the world to not do anything else, what is this comparison? I'm talking about not having energy. "Opening multiple sets" ah, you're one of the pick up guys, I see

You’re absolutely right. You are right about everything and I am not.

 

[user252009]

Your mistake harms no one.

That's true, except my confidence...One can only do so many failed attempts without any success before feeling it's not even possible

 

[PlatoPacks23]

That's true, except my confidence...One can only do so many failed attempts without any success before feeling it's not even possible

Cry more approach less

 

[pipeman84]

As you live in Germany, I don't get why you're wasting your time with the hoes and the women saddled with baggage from OLD when you could just bang some escorts. I mean, really, what kind of women do you expect to find on OLD at the age of 40? Those in their 20s won't even see you due to the default age filter.

I would suggest to just get on with your life, you'll meet someone organically, if it's meant to be.

 

[Manure Spherian]

hat kind of women do you expect to find on OLD at the age of 40?

Two of my divorced friends met their women on OLD in their mid to late 40's. One had his second kid with one. They both live with their women and are happy as pigs in sh-t. Both of their women are good.

For all its disadvantages, I met my wife on OLD and I know several people who met their wives on OLD, though admittedly we did that before the apps.

My cousin met her husband on Tinder.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I would suggest to just get on with your life, you'll meet someone organically, if it's meant to be.

I agree with this. But I think people should accept success is not imminent. I don't think being upset about it is whining, as some others do.

I remember when I was very young, in my late teens, my therapist told me if I didn't ever find a woman, I would be one of the most miserable men on the planet.

 

[corrector]

You massively upped your finances and social status. I keep thinking if I had allot of money or won the lottery things would be different and here I read a thread that sounds like snake eyes on the dice to that. You think the world works one way and realize it does not. This is why people push gymmaxxing I guess.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

seeing that I'm living in a depressive country like Germany.

become the sunshine

 

[SW15]

I mean, really, what kind of women do you expect to find on OLD at the age of 40? Those in their 20s won't even see you due to the default age filter.

I would suggest to just get on with your life, you'll meet someone organically, if it's meant to be.

If a late 30s/early 40s wants to meet a 20 something, the best thing he can do in order to achieve that is meet women through some real life method.

I don’t speak smooth German prevents me from effectively communicate with women here

Find a way to speak German better. If I lived in Mexico and my Spanish wasn't on point, I would find a way to make sure to improve my Spanish.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I tried going out but my anxiety as well as the fact I don’t speak smooth German prevents me from effectively communicate with women here - I tried initiating contact a few times but the result and the fear is so bad I just don’t do it. And due to my job and side hustle I don’t have the energy to go to the gym several times a week.

There are classes to help you, or hire a tutor to improve your German.