Rate my personal ad

[gentleman193]

http://personals.salon.com/profile.aspx?bookmark=3l02Woq2YPc=

The goal with this ad is to get the right woman contacting me so I don't have to drop cash pursuing her for two weeks via email. But the ad isn't quite at the DJ level yet.

I'm angling for the sophisticated HB with an elegant mind to complement her perky tits and stylish outfits. I've got no patience for airheads / party girls / dumb chicks who yap ad nauseum about meaningless sh!t and walk around in jeans with dirt splotches on them (when the f did that come into style, anyway?). Fatties, psychos, husband hunters, gold diggers and married ladies should also feel discouraged to reply.

I'm eager for any suggestions on establishing the right tone/image -- esp. if these ads have worked for you. Thanks in advance!

 

[Runna13=)]

No offense, but personally, I think your ad sucks. I rarely, if ever, cuss in front of women, so I think you should drop all those derogatory terms. Also, who are you to not want a "fattie", lol. You are using an online ad. You really sound like an arrogant ******* in this ad. If you were aiming for this, you did a great job.

The goal with this ad is to get the right woman contacting me so I don't have to drop cash pursuing her for two weeks via email

Drop cash pursuing her for two weeks via email? WTH? How about meeting someone in person?

 

[MysteryWoman]

Originally posted by gentleman193
http://personals.salon.com/profile.aspx?bookmark=3l02Woq2YPc=

The goal with this ad is to get the right woman contacting me so I don't have to drop cash pursuing her for two weeks via email. But the ad isn't quite at the DJ level yet.

I'm angling for the sophisticated HB with an elegant mind to complement her perky tits and stylish outfits. I've got no patience for airheads / party girls / dumb chicks who yap ad nauseum about meaningless sh!t and walk around in jeans with dirt splotches on them (when the f did that come into style, anyway?). Fatties, psychos, husband hunters, gold diggers and married ladies should also feel discouraged to reply.

I'm eager for any suggestions on establishing the right tone/image -- esp. if these ads have worked for you. Thanks in advance!

Sorry but you sound creepish, you'd frighten 99 percent of the female population.

Good idea to get you are eyebrows waxed, men should starting waxing their eyebrows if they have thick ones once they hit thirty

 

[OddTech]

Yup, it sucks. You don't sound like you're serious at all.

 

[coldcoal]

I got the impression you're a comic book fanatic; not exactly the angle you'd want when your aim is sophisticated women....

If you want sophisticated, talk about jazz, wine, picnics, books, goals....describe the perfect setting you'd like to be in with these types of women. Use the season. Describe the atmosphere of this place. It worked so well for me once, that I had recieved phone numbers in thier first responses.

 

[Big Pappy]

Self deprecation?

Seeking Buffy or batgirl?

Get your a** out of the house and meet some ladies. DC is filled with beautiful women.

 

[Mr. Latte]

You remind me of a celebrity, but I can't put my finger on it. You also look like Perry Farrel from Jane's Addiction.

 

[Omega]

Cat Woman, Bat Girl, or possibly Buffy, though I don't really know much about her since I don't have a TV.

Generally speaking, women with poise, purpose, and . . . super-powers. They don't have to be *amazing* super-powers, either, just super-duper enough to impress a good man.


-translated-


Poise and purpose. Do you have it? I'm looking for a lady with sophistication and class, one that I can view as a level higher then the rest. Throughout my life I've met more women then I can count, but nothing sets them aside from the rest. What makes you so special out of them all? If you can prove yourself to me, you may just be in for the best time of your life...


Edit: Get rid of the "sometimes ok" for drugs and self depression. Also, remove all the superhero crap (no offense), and add height,weight,eye color, and hair specifications for what your looking for in a girl.

 

[ManOMan]

DUDE??? what is with that egyptian necklace?? get your eyebrows trimmed, take a new photo and stop trying so hard to sound like a beer, pvssy and pizza guy, show some class, let them know you have some semblance of intelligence and worth

you sound like a 45 year old frat guy in that ad, and you think you are going to attract sophisticated women????

you obviously have no clue what sophisticated women want in a man.

They want style, money, stability, intelligence, humor , wit , debonairness, the james bond type of guy

plus you look like ted bundy, geeeez, you will be lucky if a transvestite responds to your ad

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by OddTech
Yup, it sucks. You don't sound like you're serious at all.

What do you expect from someone who reads siddhartha?

 

[Walden]

I'd expect him to get my hilarious "For enlightenment enquire within" tee shirt joke

Beyond that I'd drop the comic books / buffy angle unless you're actually pitching at other furverts (my girlfriend's inot that sh!t and it weirds me out). The Audrey hepburn bit is money cos every girl thinks she looks like Audrey Hepburn.

 

[Omega]

Example of half-way DJ:

http://personals.salon.com/profile.aspx?bookmark=1CR+oeDIjgY=

 

[gentleman193]

Ted Bundy's Looks, Ted Kazinksi's Brains

Thanks, guys, I appreciate your feedback. The 2nd paragraph of my post was NOT the ad, though -- that was telling you all what I was looking for. Sorry to be blunt and offend anyone. The link is where it's at:

http://personals.salon.com/profile.aspx?bookmark=3l02Woq2YPc=

Cat Girl was a reference to Michelle Pfieffer in the Bat Man movie and I noticed chicks love Buffy. Removed that since it makes me seem like some kind of comic book collector weirdo from the Simpson's and replaced with R3N3GAD3's super-smooth text. Far better said than I could do it and completely on the mark.

Used Perry Farrel as my celeb reference since he seems better looking than Brody based on googling.

Added a description like coldcoal said that's appropriate for winter for "Why you should get to know me":

"It's bone cold outside. The wind is blowing. It's dark and the streets are icy. Bare tree branches gouge the night sky.

But you don't mind b/c you're reclined on a soft leather couch with an unparalleled view of our unparalleled city, sipping your favorite warm winter drink and enjoying a full-body massage . . ."

I'm leaving the Audrey Hepburn based on Walden's comment. Damn, she was a cutie, too.

Siddhartha I like so I'm leaving it. Will you tell us the joke, Walden, or we have to see the show?

Nobody accused me of being gay for the ski lodge thing -- surprisingly -- and so I'm leaving that, too, along with the two fish (also true). Won't be waxing the eyebrows, though, too metro-sexual, MW.

Q. Do you *really* want a guy who waxes his eyebrows? Maybe I should get a manicure, too, and start shaving my legs again?

The amulet is a great opener in person so I think it should work equally well online. Women simply ask me where I got it. Props are good.

I'd love some ideas for a "most humbling moment" or a "best lie i've told", though. I can't think of any true ones. FOr now, left blank. But I did think of a new title:

"Ted Bundy's Looks, Ted Kazinksi's Brains"

One was the *original* lady-killer and the other was a Harvard grad. Perfect, right?

Thanks again for great feedback. I'll post again if I get some results.

 

[selfcontrol]

Get a picture of yourself without your eyelids drooping. There are only two things drooping eyelids convey:
1. You are tired.
2. You feel sad.

Neither of those make you attractive to women. So lose the drooping eyelids.

As for the bushy brows, would you feel more secure about your sexuality if you fvcking shaved them? They're hideous and need trimming. When you don't fix your brows, you're handicapping yourself.

 

[selfcontrol]

Originally posted by R3N3GAD3
Example of half-way DJ:

http://personals.salon.com/profile.aspx?bookmark=1CR+oeDIjgY=

What aspects of that ad did you like?

 

[Walden]

Renegade spells "Earth" with a capital E. Now that's class.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by gentleman193
http://personals.salon.com/profile.aspx?bookmark=3l02Woq2YPc=

The goal with this ad is

to convince yourself that you're doing something to meet women when you're really just being passive and making excuses not to approach them IN PERSON.

 

[selfcontrol]

Re: Re: Rate my personal ad

Originally posted by squirrels
to convince yourself that you're doing something to meet women when you're really just being passive and making excuses not to approach them IN PERSON.

Yes, great point. There are tons of chicks out there RIGHT NOW. Fvck the online stuff.

There are virtually no HBs online anyway. It's pointless for them, since they have dozens of guys in real life to choose from.

 

[gentleman193]

squirrel,

You've got 1169 posts and how many # closes?

I won't spend time or money pursuing women on these sites. It is a fool's game. But the feedback on the ad was invaluable.

Now with the new pic below to hilite my best features (thanks to selfcontrol for pointing them out) there is some chance a quality chick will contact me.

New pic:

 

[MysteryWoman]

That's funny