Radio Breakup

[SoldMySoul]

When they got down below the treeline, the guy reached in his pocket to release the snake, and was bit. As he lay dying, he reminded the snake of his promise.

But the snake said:

"Yea, but you knew what I was when you picked me up," before he slithered away.

Nice point, but it is possible that Chris did not know he had a snake.... When he was bitten, lying in his dying state, felt that he needed to destroy that snake that left him dying from that venomous bite.

I bet now Chris will never put that snake so close to his heart. Schoolin' is NOT cheap!!! But now Chris knows that the beauty is a beast and the cheating woman knows she is not on a pedestal!

 

[Die Hard]

Bleh.. Some of you guys are reasoning like human beings don't have emotions. Sure, it would be best for him to just dump her and forget about her. There's no use in getting revenge, it doesn't do anything..blah blah..he just has to move on as fast as possible..blah blah.. FVCK THAT bullsh!t, guys!! We are not robots! You love someone for FIVE YEARS, then she cheats on you and you're supposed to respond like some robot? Not acting on emotion but just analyse things in a cold, disattached manner and come to the logical, rational conclusion that it is best to simply leave her behind you without doing anything else? Complete bullsh!t!!! Some of you guys seem to think that a man who acts on emotion, is an AFC no matter what the circumstances and everything. Suppose you go to jail and get fvcked up your ass by some dude with a giant d!ck... What? You're supposed to think like this? "Hmm, can't be undone...I should just forget about it and move on. Actually, it's my own fault...I shouldn't have been so stupid to go to jail..so it's better to just do nothing, learn from it and leave it behind me.." Or you could just break this fvcker's neck the first chance you get... But wait, that would be an AFC thing to do, right? It would be a "weak" thing to do, right? Apparently, according to some of you guys, it would...

I'm sure I'd feel a lot better after dumping the b!tch like this guy did. Only AFTER getting my revenge and feeling somewhat relieved by it, I'd be able to say to myself: "Okay, that was great. Now let's not spend anymore time on her and what happened, it's time to move on."

 

[SoldMySoul]

Bleh.. Some of you guys are reasoning like human beings don't have emotions. Sure, it would be best for him to just dump her and forget about her. There's no use in getting revenge, it doesn't do anything..blah blah..he just has to move on as fast as possible..blah blah.. FVCK THAT bullsh!t, guys!! We are not robots! You love someone for FIVE YEARS, then she cheats on you and you're supposed to respond like some robot? Not acting on emotion but just analyse things in a cold, disattached manner and come to the logical, rational conclusion that it is best to simply leave her behind you without doing anything else? Complete bullsh!t!!! Some of you guys seem to think that a man who acts on emotion, is an AFC no matter what the circumstances and everything. Suppose you go to jail and get fvcked up your ass by some dude with a giant d!ck... What? You're supposed to think like this? "Hmm, can't be undone...I should just forget about it and move on. Actually, it's my own fault...I shouldn't have been so stupid to go to jail..so it's better to just do nothing, learn from it and leave it behind me.." What if you would break this fvcker's neck the first chance you get? would that be an AFC thing to do? Would it be a "weak" thing to do? Hell no!!

I'm sure I'd feel a lot better after dumping the b!tch like this guy did. Only AFTER getting my revenge and feeling somewhat relieved by it, I'd be able to say to myself: "Okay, that was great. Now let's not spend anymore time on her and what happened, it's time to move on."

I am with you on this!!! If the guy would have killed her that would be letting his emotions ruin him, but for him he handled it the way he deemed proper. Hell, he may regret it now or he may have a sense of relief. Like I stated in an earlier post; She seemed smug to me and was acting like, "Oh, my girlfriends are going to be envious of me cause my man proposed on the air." Then shoved back in her mind.... I have been cheating on this poor ba$tard.

She deserved it!!

 

[ThunderMaverick]

How is his giving her the public humiliation unproductive or working against him?

Pointless? How about having a little bit of fun?

Christ on a bike, some of you are so uptight!



Sure, the best revenge is living well, but that's not meant to exclude payback!

To a sociopath, yes, sh!t like this is fun. Now imagine what other women will say about this man's actions when he tries to bring them into his life. "Will he do the same to me? Is he really an angry person? What normal person would break up with his girlfriend that way? Is that healthy?" Women talk, and guess what they'll say about him?

It's unproductive because it makes the man a Klingon, going great lengths to lash out at someone who, in the grand scheme, SHOULD have been less mature than him. This entire situation makes both of them look like idiots (when it should have been only her looking like the fool), and now he's going to have to deal with the social backlash of his move.

Fun. Fun. Fun.

 

[Jitterbug]

If only women were rational in that way...

Yes I eagerly anticipate the social backlash of his action...

Just like how I've been holding my breath waiting for women to stop hooking up with renowned bad boys.

 

[backbreaker]

Bleh.. Some of you guys are reasoning like human beings don't have emotions. Sure, it would be best for him to just dump her and forget about her. There's no use in getting revenge, it doesn't do anything..blah blah..he just has to move on as fast as possible..blah blah.. FVCK THAT bullsh!t, guys!! We are not robots! You love someone for FIVE YEARS, then she cheats on you and you're supposed to respond like some robot? Not acting on emotion but just analyse things in a cold, disattached manner and come to the logical, rational conclusion that it is best to simply leave her behind you without doing anything else? Complete bullsh!t!!! Some of you guys seem to think that a man who acts on emotion, is an AFC no matter what the circumstances and everything. Suppose you go to jail and get fvcked up your ass by some dude with a giant d!ck... What? You're supposed to think like this? "Hmm, can't be undone...I should just forget about it and move on. Actually, it's my own fault...I shouldn't have been so stupid to go to jail..so it's better to just do nothing, learn from it and leave it behind me.." Or you could just break this fvcker's neck the first chance you get... But wait, that would be an AFC thing to do, right? It would be a "weak" thing to do, right? Apparently, according to some of you guys, it would...

I'm sure I'd feel a lot better after dumping the b!tch like this guy did. Only AFTER getting my revenge and feeling somewhat relieved by it, I'd be able to say to myself: "Okay, that was great. Now let's not spend anymore time on her and what happened, it's time to move on."

“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you.” - Anthony Robbins


yes I always go around quoting people and it sounds like hogwash. the **** works.

Losing your temper, and with it your case, or your arugement or your sanity, marks you as one who has not yet familiarized yourself with the fundamentals upon which self control is based; and chief of these fundamentals is the privilege of choosing the thoughts that will dominate your mind

Laws of success, Napoleon hill page 529 chapter 8



eVERY WEALTHY PERSON i HAVE ANALYZED (REFEREEING TO THOSE WHO HAVE BECOME WEALTHY THROUGH THEIR OWN EFFORTS() SHOWED SUCH POSITIVE EVIDENCE THAT SELF CONTROL HAS BEEN ONE OF THEIR STRONG POINTS THAT i HVE REACHED THE CONCLUSION NO ONE CAN HOPE TO ACCUMULATE GREAT WEALTH AND KEEP IT WITHOUT EXERCISING THIS NECESSARY QUALIFY.
(sorry for caps)

page 534 same chapter



It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with him. **** her. in every sense. wish her the best and move on with your life making the best of YOUR life. Not because of some AFCism that yo have that you think you are a better person. it's the prudent thing to do. dont' let her rent any more space than she already has and focus your life on more produtive things than revenge.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I would quote the following:

LAW 19: Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person

There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way. Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge. They are wolves in lambs’ clothing. Choose your victims and opponents carefully, then – never offend or deceive the wrong person.

She thought the guy was an AFC, douchebag. She was in for a big surprise!!

 

[Jitterbug]

Genghis Khan, upon conquering a city that refused to surrender, was angry that they did not submit to him and that he lost his favourite nephew in the siege, so in the fit of anger, he ordered the entire city to be slaughtered. From then on, many cities would automatically surrender to him, knowing that they would be spared that way, while resistance would be punished severely.

Apparently, according to some dude called Napoleon Hill and another dude called Tony Robbins, the Great Khan wasn't a very successful guy.

Temujin, before he became Genghis Khan, had to show a lot of restraints when he did not have the power. When he finally did, he gave everyone who dared fvck with him exactly what they deserved.

 

[Die Hard]

“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you.” - Anthony Robbins


yes I always go around quoting people and it sounds like hogwash. the **** works.

Losing your temper, and with it your case, or your arugement or your sanity, marks you as one who has not yet familiarized yourself with the fundamentals upon which self control is based; and chief of these fundamentals is the privilege of choosing the thoughts that will dominate your mind

Laws of success, Napoleon hill page 529 chapter 8



eVERY WEALTHY PERSON i HAVE ANALYZED (REFEREEING TO THOSE WHO HAVE BECOME WEALTHY THROUGH THEIR OWN EFFORTS() SHOWED SUCH POSITIVE EVIDENCE THAT SELF CONTROL HAS BEEN ONE OF THEIR STRONG POINTS THAT i HVE REACHED THE CONCLUSION NO ONE CAN HOPE TO ACCUMULATE GREAT WEALTH AND KEEP IT WITHOUT EXERCISING THIS NECESSARY QUALIFY.
(sorry for caps)

page 534 same chapter



It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with him. **** her. in every sense. wish her the best and move on with your life making the best of YOUR life. Not because of some AFCism that yo have that you think you are a better person. it's the prudent thing to do. dont' let her rent any more space than she already has and focus your life on more produtive things than revenge.

Yeah, that's all very nice. Now go love someone for five years, share your whole life with her for five years and then try following your own advice when she cheats on you. You can't, unless you're a true psychopath. When people get hurt, they need to let it out. Basic human nature..basic human psychology. Sure, when you've only been seeing her for a couple of weeks, I'd recommend getting rid of the idea to get revenge in a way like this..but when you're emotionally involved with someone for 5 years, it would be very healthy to get revenge like this.

The more self control, the better..but total self control is impossible and anyone striving to be in total self control after the woman he loved for 5 years cheated on him, is not sane. One should learn to balance his emotional response to the circumstances: If you start to cry when a girl you've just met cheats on you, you need to achieve more self control. If you start to cry when a loved one dies, there's nothing wrong with your self control.

"Too much of anything is always wrong", that counts for self control as well.

 

[penkitten]

so i went and listened to it, and although i am not a very confrontational person, i can see the justification in going on air with it. the presentation of the break-up was great.

 

[amoka]

She is not a listener to the show so this probably have no effect on her...."she doesn't listen. And she doesn't listen in general".

 

[sodbuster]

Well, when I broke up painlessly with a woman who cheated on me,she still thinks I'm interested But in college, I had a GF dissapear about half way through the homecoming dance-found her with her hometown honey. SO on wed.,whe asked me if I'd be downtown;I told her yes. We[dorm guys] got there early and I was out dancing with a girl when my GF came to the bar. Well, it was 920 and the DJ played slow songs at 25 after the hour[every hour],so I stayed out there for some belly rubbing music. I got back to my friends[her's had joined us] and had a beer or 2. So, It got close to 20 after, I asked my GF if she wanted to dance. She said no, so a girl I knew[butter face with DD's]walked by and I asked her to dance[like slow dancing with a waterbed]. Finished the dances and came back.Rinse and repeat about 5 times-with my GF geting madder and madder.
She never spoke to me again,but 1 of her friends did. I told her, "if she wanted to date her hometown honey,she could have told me and I would have found another date. Since she didn't,I thought I'd show her how it's done" When she dropped out of school, that same friend wanted to know IF I wanted to date her again. I guess she was thinking about coming back. BUT I wasnt interested. don't know if she did or not.
Revenge is a dish best served cold

 

[Reyaj]

I can't believe how some of you say that was an egregious move on the guy's part.

I would buy this guy 5 rounds of beer if I ever met him. Not only did he have the courage to end something bad, he did it emphatically! I bet this girl never cheats on her boyfriend again!

For those of you that feel bad for her, I bet it was her crying that made you weak.... When girls are flat out wrong that's all they can resort to because they know guys have a soft spot in their heart for crying.... Too bad the experienced ones know its just a ploy as poignant as it may seem.

Reason over emotions, do what's right, and teach those bithces a lesson!

 

[Trader]

For those of you that feel bad for her, I bet it was her crying that made you weak.... When girls are flat out wrong that's all they can resort to because they know guys have a soft spot in their heart for crying.... Too bad the experienced ones know its just a ploy as poignant as it may seem.

Reason over emotions, do what's right, and teach those bithces a lesson!

Dude, none of us feel bad for her. We don't care about her. The situation is not about her, it's about how a real man handles his business.

I can't believe how some of you say that was an egregious move on the guy's part.

I would buy this guy 5 rounds of beer if I ever met him. Not only did he have the courage to end something bad, he did it emphatically! I bet this girl never cheats on her boyfriend again!

Yes, have the courage to end it, yes end it emphatically, but do it IN PRIVATE. What part of this is confusing to you? You don't air your dirty laundry out in public on some radio show. This is not junior high.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Rollo,


This is a good thread. Thanks for posting this. It's always a good idea to bring the harshest, cruelest, most stark images of the dating and relationship war "front and center".

All things being equal (and without knowing ANY of these people personally or their backstories), I agree with you that there are so many different facets of male/female interaction here that there isn't enough time to address it all at once.



So, to be brief, I'll just fire off a few bullet points.

1. In my opinion, the woman came across as smug. and a little "princessy" (is that a word???). When she sat there and nonchalantly mentioned that she DIDN'T want to be proposed to in a public place but claimed not to know why.

I'll tell you "why" I think she felt that way:

It's because she wasn't "into the guy" and she KNEW it. Most women would NEVER turn down so big a chance to be the subject of THAT much attention---------"if" they were even halfway into a guy.

2. Right before she "thought" he was about to propose to her, she became flustered and asked him to wait so she could "catch her breath" or whatever, I believe this was either a form of attention-whorrring to play up the moment for ALL OF IT'S DRAMA, or it was actually a mild panic attack because she KNEW she was getting ready to field a proposal from a guy who no longer really "did it" for her. Remember, she already KNEW that he was gonna ask her to marry him, so where was all of her sudden anxiety coming from???

Either way------it was a bad sign.

3. When he dropped the bomb on her by asking her had she been seeing that other guy, and she AGAIN wanted to take time to "think" or whatever, to me, all that seemed like was that she was so thrown off balance that needed time to come up with the best lie that she could.

And of course, her response, was pathetic-----an EPIC failure. Surely if she was STILL out with the guy "after" she had made a few "mistakes" months ago, she was ALSO still hoping to make a few MORE mistakes with that same guy. It appears to me that she wasn't sorry for what she did, she was only sorry that she got CAUGHT. And there's a huge difference between the two.

4. Is dumping a woman in such a public fashion a pointless and fruitless method of teaching her a lesson? I would say that the answer is "NO". To the contrary, I believe that such a public, multimedia comeupance is the BEST way to actually succeed in "teaching" people (not just women) a lesson.

But women, especially so, because as a gender, they tend to care FAR MORE about how they are percieved by society than most men are. Dumping a woman who deserves to be dumped in this way is arguably the most devastatingly lethal shaming tactic that could ever be devised. In fact, it's probably a little more devastating than all of the "little' shaming tactics some women use on men all the time.

Think about it.


5. Is the guy dumping her on the radio an AFC form of payback or revenge? Maybe. But there's an argument that can be made that it was moreso JUSTICE in it's purest form.

Why do I say this?

My reasons are many-----but much too many to list here. Instead, I'd like to leave you with some more food for thought. It seems that much of the debate here is over whether or not the guy's actions were vengeance or justice.

My question to all of you troops here is this:

"Is justice somehow rendered as "less than justice" when it is administered by your OWN HAND?"


Soldier on.


VU

 

[Proselytiser]

Sorry that this is so unorganised but my browser is being too slow for me to quote everyone I want to respond to

I don't get Danger's post on the first thread - that it's some kind of instinct for men to react with sympathy when a woman cries. I was like that but after awhile of watching my first girlfriend cry I couldn't help but get annoyed when she did. The physically unappealing sight, annoying noises, and taking 5 minutes to say what should take 30 seconds. I remember being 16 and telling her 'if you have something to say, write it down and show me, or come and tell me in 20 minutes'

So when she started crying on air my emotional reaction was genuine contempt and disgust. And that was distinct from my reaction to her cheating and lying about it, because all I felt for that was a 'you silly little idiot' kind of pity.

The woman was a terrible liar though. I don't think I've done the whole 'admit what they have said, deny everything else, oh **** they said that, admit that, deny everything they haven't said, repeat' since I was 15. Maybe that is indicative of how often women are called out on their bull****.

Knowing what was coming all along, I had the same kind of adrenalin rush I get when a good action movie on TV goes to the ad break... massive excitement! haha

I don't think his idea to expose her on the air was classless though it was kind of bitter. Building up to a proposal only to say 'we're through you cheating wh0re' would be AWESOME, and the fact that it was on-air adds to that effect.

To me, male infidelity and female infidelity are not the same thing. But in response to Collosus on page 2 wondering how we would react if the genders were reversed, it'd just be boring. I wouldn't begrudge her for it, it's just what women do. This was entertaining because it doesn't often happen like this and it's nice to see an AFC catch sight of his balls for 13 minutes.

And to his post after that, hadn't she blown out his whole world?

I like the idea of women being ostracised and held in contempt for this behaviour so I can only commend him and the radio show for their actions and hope that we see many more like this. Honour and respect (read: taking the high road) are not languages that most/if any women understand - they just reinforce the behaviour - whereas there is no method of communicating to women that is more effective than humiliation, shaming and social disapproval.

 

[Kailex]

The first thing that we need to understand is that when Chris made this call, he had no 100% confirmation that she had cheated and merely was going on his friends' heresay and THEIR testimonials.

Granted, that was MORE than enough for him to go on and enough for him to dump her.

Yes, he did break one of Rollo's rules and had he been a SoSuave member, he might have even avoided this situation.
Chris states that they had lived together for THREE years and yet, she admits halfway through, that she had been seeing Eric a FEW months ago. I'm guessing Chris had seen the signs and didn't want to believe it until just that past week.

Throughout the phone call, Chris DOES get his confirmation from her that she in fact cheated on him with Eric, not once, but TWICE (obviously more than twice, but I mean cycles of cheating). Her fight-or-flight response is to CRY and to call everyone else MEAN and that she hates them.

Of course, because she has no valid defense, there is nothing else she can say. She got CAUGHT.

She gives him the excuse that she met up with Eric to tell him that they could no longer go out because she was getting married.

THINK ABOUT IT.

She had been living with Chris for THREE years and then she WANTS to stop cheating because of a marriage certificate? They were practically married in the first place. So it's okay to cheat while you're not legally married but not when there's a paper involved? This speaks VOLUMES.

Would I have done the same? I'm not sure. Did Chris enjoy it? It didn't seem like it, but it served its purpose for him in that he was able to find out and "teach her a lesson" although we all know that she will turn this around into a "See why I cheated on him... because he's a jerk like THIS" and try to gather sympathy from everyone else...

But she'll have none from me.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

"Is justice somehow rendered as "less than justice" when it is administered by your OWN HAND?"

Therein lies the rub. There will always exist an element of bias (revenge) whenever one enacts what they perceive as justice. Women are almost universally absolved of this. Carrie Underwood can write a chart topping song about vandalizing the truck of a cheating lover that women (and men) will gleefully cheer along with, but let a man publicly humiliate a cheating lover and "he's less of a man" and runs the risk of having his personal life ruined as a result.

As far as this guy breaking Iron Rule #4; yes, the guy's a fool for having done so for 3 years, and I'd go so far as to say an even bigger fool for being monogamous with a solitary woman for 5 years during his prime (I assume Chris was in his 20's). My point was to illustrate his degree of commitment (he bought a ring) not to justify his having lived with her as long as he did. In the Tiger Woods thread a lot had been made about commitment being tantamount to male virtue, so my emphasis was his readiness to commit and the gravity it bears on a man's life.

There was another aspect that I hadn't considered in this. I don't entirely believe that reversing the roles to understand a contrast would be applicable in this case. Generally women don't ask men to marry them. I understand it happens, but never to the degree that a man must prepare to make a proposal of marriage. Chris had resolved in his mind to marry the girl, and acted on this resolve by buying a ring and planning to propose on V-Day. Women simply do not have a parallel experience for this.

I understand this is a bit of a stretch, but for a moment lets assume Chris knew exactly the future liabilities of his commitment - all of those high-road, morally binding liabilities Tiger reneged on in his marriage - should his response to her deception be any less measured than what he did when you think of what he'd almost committed to?

Think of the impact his commitment to her would've entailed; think of how it would effect their families, his career and / or educational opportunities, their future children and their personal decisions, his finances, his psychological well being, their quality of life, and the list goes on, but essentially he was betting his future life on this girl. The guy was a hair's breadth from making that commitment when he discovered the deception. I think she got off rather lightly.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Chris probably was an afc just like all of us on here have been at some point in our life. AFC is a learned behavior just as being a DJ. Chances are good that this event changed his life and how he will interact with women.

I love how some members on here bash poor old afcs knowing damn good and well they have been one and some point in their life... WE ALL HAVE!!! It is what makes life just that, a learning experience.

Put yourself in this poor dude's place. One, he was oblivious to what was going on and there is no telling how much he wasted on that ring. He wasted several years of his life on this sorry women. Do you really think if given the chance you would not do what he did? The main thing is he gave her a valuable education on HOW NOT TO DO people.

Victory made some eye opening statements about she was not fully into him which seems apparent after what happened.

Revenge in my opinion is when you ruin someone's life, he made his life better and SHE ruined her own life. Chances are good she will harbor ill feelings towards men and her behavior will not change. The main thing to consider is how will Chris behave from now on???

 

[thissucks003]

Dude, none of us feel bad for her. We don't care about her. The situation is not about her, it's about how a real man handles his business.



Yes, have the courage to end it, yes end it emphatically, but do it IN PRIVATE. What part of this is confusing to you? You don't air your dirty laundry out in public on some radio show. This is not junior high.

Agree with all said!

I live in the city where the radio show is. I listened to the show once. It wasn't my cup of tea. It wasn't surprised to see the radio show on the link because of how they are on the show.

St. Louis is not a very big city. It is a mid size city. There are so many connections of people knowing someone that it still surprises me how now.

I can understand Chris going the route he did. I can understand seeking revenge and getting back to even. I have done so myself, not so much to his extent. It felt right at the time. Years later I totally regret how I handled it. It has in some ways come back to bite me in the azz. I still have stress over it and it has been over 10 years. Every time I have had a clean break in any relationship, it has made me a better person.

I will not be surprised that this won't hurt Chris in the long run.

Good luck them both! They will need it!