races... guys and girls view differently?

[spidersense]

ok, so I was talking today with a few of my lady friends about a subject that I never realized was touchy to me. The subject of race. I'm white, but I asked two girls that I knew pretty well if they would ever date a black guy(both at different times), this led into long conversations. The basic result of which being, it would depend on the guy, but they weren't completely sure because of the social consequences.

One: what is your stand on this?... this only adds to the belief of mine that all women are ambivolent because of the fact the first thing they said was "no" and then I had to make them understand what I meant by "black guy"

Two: eventually they both said that it would depend on the guy but, FOR ME, if I'm out with a woman of a differnet race, then I feel like my social standings is better because of that fact... like people will like me more BECAUSE of the fact that I'm at the coffee shop with a woman of a different race, or at the pool hall with a woman of a different race, or bowling with a woman of a different race... how are men and women different in this subject?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

This thread will inevitably get closed (for reasons that will become apparent later) but before it does, could you let us in on what made you bring up this topic when you were talking to your lady friends?

 

[Delta]

i don't see why the thread should get closed.... it is a really good and valid topic of discussion.

i myself am asian for the record.

it's kinda like discussing the virtues of people having a predilection for ATTRACTIVE people....

you may argue that it is more altruistic (or somesuch) to go for people based on the person 'inside' or something like that.

it may also be more 'noble' to be an equal opportunity dater.

BUT

consider - ROMANTIC LOVE is the only kind of love that is almost entirely SELFISH.

it is not about doing what's right. it's not about being fair to someone else.

IT IS ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

and so, this issue ends up being a matter of 'can we dissuade people from wanting what they want?'

i don't think so.

that's the deal.

asian chicks have got it made cuz they're universally prized it seems.

asian guys have it much rougher. it seems that our prowess in mathematics and martial arts is not sufficient to overcome our alleged... shortcomings... ahem.



and although it may be a touchy subject, it is also interesting and valid to consider how much race plays into the whole "SOCIAL STANDING" consideration in women's minds.

regardless of the answers however, you probably can't talk anyone out of their preferences and the dj rules come into play:

if they don't want you, fvck em.... plenty o fish in the sea.

delta

 

[MackJr]

Remember, all women care about is status. If they think that black men have less status then they won't date them. You can't always tell how much status someone has just walking down the street, which is a result of their ambivalence. At the same time, they'd be all over Puff Daddy in a heartbeat.

And btw, women can be racist too.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by MackJr


And btw, women can be racist too.

Absolutely. I've met white women who won't ever let a black man touch her with her penis. Nor an Asian man, or a Mexican man.


I've also met black women who think any non-black male is utterly beneath them.


There are Asian women who look down on white men. On black men too.


Racism can work in interesting ways too - ever hear of INTERNALIZED RACISM? It affects both men and women, and usually happens to numerical minorities (so in the case of the United States, that means non-white).


There are Asian women that won't date Asian men because they've learned to hate themselves. They bury their self-hatred by marrying into the power-structure - white men.

There are black women that do the same thing.


Interestingly, there have been cases reported in Asia (like Taiwan, for example) where white women who had grown up their whole lives in Taiwan absolutely refuse to date other white men, and will only date Taiwanese men.


Your environment has a HUGE part in your racism - whether straighforward or internalized.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by MackJr
Remember, all women care about is status. If they think that black men have less status then they won't date them. You can't always tell how much status someone has just walking down the street, which is a result of their ambivalence. At the same time, they'd be all over Puff Daddy in a heartbeat.

And btw, women can be racist too.

This is true too.

Different races of men are slapped with different stereotypes - so at a Hip Hop bar, black guys, who are seen as sensual dancers, may get the glancing eye. At a classical concert, most white women will probably look at them with contempt, considering the traditionally elitist, white atmosphere of those venues. Many races of women are open Asian guys at universities because they are supposed to have a cerebral bent, whereas most might overlook him at a keg party in a frat house (where the white boys dominate).



Also, keep in mind that various women who are into various guys will congregate in certain venues - just like I've described above. Just because a black guy took a white girl with jungle fever home from a hip hop club, it does not mean that all white women are into him. Just because a whitewashed Asian girl threw herself at a white guy at a white frat party, it does not mean your Asian neighbor will also want to sleep with you (she probably has an Asian boyfriend). Just because an Asian guy met a white girl at a Chinese cultural event and had a relationship with her, it doesn't mean the next white girl will dig him.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Jake is on his sh1t...Thats why its funny when dudes are like it doesnt matter what race anyone is when you are spitting game...Men dont care but women do...Trust me, I know...I have a friend from Harlem that lives out in the richer part of Northern Va...And he tells me that the black girls out there dont really fukk with black guys, cause the white dudes got all the status, but the white girls hold the black guys down cause they want to see what we are about...Its crazy...

 

[DjDreamer]

This topic has the stench of racism...

You all need to transend race and look at 'culture'.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Originally posted by DjDreamer
This topic has the stench of racism...

You all need to transend race and look at 'culture'.

But thats how it is though...It might sound fukked up from your point of view, but this is how it is from mine and many others...

 

[international82]

Why do these race threads keep coming up?

I actually find it easiest to date white women than any other race, being black has its advantages with dating, i've got into a racial confrontation but that was with the bf or brother or whatever. I think if I was white my success would have been less in general or I would have to work harder say at being funny or confident or whatever, when I approach girls(of other races) they just expect me to be confident.

That being said there IS some racism with girls and if I feel that is what's going on, I will let the ***** know.
But I think it mostly comes down to 'masculinity' and class.

Alot of whites/asians whatever associate blacks with the 'ghetto and proud of it type ****' because that's what's in the media, no the black intellectuals/business men and middle/upper class, just hip hop and the athletes and ****. This is worst in the US by the way, in Europe it is very different.

As for the 'masculinity', this is why alot of asian guys are afraid of approaching because of the stereotype, but if you are masculine(not androgenous) you should not have a problem with the majority.

This whole racism **** ALWAYS pisses me off especially on this site where there are some ignorant bastards, but it exists, and it goes both ways.
My thing though is, if you feel a chick is being racist or says something 'off', let her know how you feel about it-just not to the extreme.
There it is.

 

[zentraveller]

Keep in mind when you throw around terms like "white women" and "asian guys" that these American racial "dynamics" are FAR DIFFERENT in other countries of the world.

 

[Yotsuya-san]

Re: Why do these race threads keep coming up?

Originally posted by international82

Alot of whites/asians whatever associate blacks with the 'ghetto and proud of it type ****' because that's what's in the media, no the black intellectuals/business men and middle/upper class, just hip hop and the athletes and ****. This is worst in the US by the way, in Europe it is very different.

Some whites are attracted to the blacks who don't conform to the hip-hop/ghetto **** (which is played out if your'e past age 25 anyway). It might strike up curiosity if it's a black guy that's smart and educated without being Urkel or that William guy on UPN's Girlfriends. Thing is there aren't too many well known examples of non athlete/non entertainment black guys who are educated but charismatic as well.
I'm talking mostly about young black men under 40, not guys like Colin Powell or Jesse Jackson.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Why is everyone so afraid to talk about race? The fact of the matter is there are blacks, whites, asians etc. - all with different characteristics.

Just because we discuss these different characteristics, doesn't mean we are racist, we are just acknowledging the obvious.

Maybe we are just celebrating each others differences?

Think about it: If we all ignored matters of race, how would we ever get rid of racism? Simply ignoring a problem won't make it go away.

DJs especially: If I can learn more about black people or asian people from a black or asian DJ, then great. Same the other way around.

The best part is, all the different DJs from all the different cultures will understand each other better and then go out into the world understanding each other's cultures better.

I don't see nothing wrong with understanding each other better, do you?

That's the job of us DJs - to spread the love, world wide!!!

A DJ is a DJ is a DJ - black, white, Asian, you name it - we're all brothers in DJ-ing.



Peace.

P.S. black and Aisan DJs!!! This white ass honky DJ needs some tips in seducing hot black and Asian chicks!!!

 

[jaybeezi]

^Exactly^ (except for the last sentence )


<white guy, likes women of all races.

My sisters both go out with non-white guys, I don't get it but they say they 'aren't into white guys', one says she likes clean cut mexican guys, and the other like black guys.

They don't like the whole abercrombie thing, and see most white guys as that, which is odd, (I'm not into that look at all).

I suppose it didn't help that last white guy one of them went out with called her about 20 times a day for a month after she broke up with him. But it goes both ways, she went out with a black guy in HS who was a 'gangster' and said he would never die... she broke up with him and he called again and again too. Just kind of rambling on here, ok that's it.

 

[Centaurion]

i get the feeling that his whole race issue is a really big thing in the states. i never knew it was such a big deal to date/meet women outside your race. ya'll need to lighten up, and take a trip around europe.

 

[diplomatic_lie]

Hey centaurion, you're from Australia eh?

Its funny how in the US race seems to take on such an issue, or seems so loud in the media.

I've rarely seen any serious discussion of race in Aus, unless you get into a redneck town. Hell, in my entire life I've only heard 1 racist comment.

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lie
Hey centaurion, you're from Australia eh?

Its funny how in the US race seems to take on such an issue, or seems so loud in the media.

I've rarely seen any serious discussion of race in Aus, unless you get into a redneck town. Hell, in my entire life I've only heard 1 racist comment.

Yup, this country was built on violence, slavery, and RACISM.

 

[asianbrutha]

Re: Re: Why do these race threads keep coming up?

Originally posted by Yotsuya-san
Some whites are attracted to the blacks who don't conform to the hip-hop/ghetto **** (which is played out if your'e past age 25 anyway). It might strike up curiosity if it's a black guy that's smart and educated without being Urkel or that William guy on UPN's Girlfriends. Thing is there aren't too many well known examples of non athlete/non entertainment black guys who are educated but charismatic as well.
I'm talking mostly about young black men under 40, not guys like Colin Powell or Jesse Jackson.

Just a dissenting opinion...

So why would being "hip-hop" be played out past the age of 25? I'm 33 and dress at times like your so called "hip-hop/ghetto" generation. I grew up upper middle-class, college educated (half way done with an MBA), make a 6 figure salary, and a 10 year veteran of the U.S. Air Force. So are you stereotyping me as ghetto? Lemme clue you in here: the generation from about the age of 35 - 40 were the creators of this hip hop culture (dress, music, & style). Many in this generation have had this style for many years. So nothing is really "played out" (hip-hop word by the way) if you're being who you are. (In my experience, trying to be something you are not will hurt your chances with women more than anything else.) Having a so called hip-hop style hasn't hurt my chances with women of any race or status. It's about how you communicate...dawg.

 

[belividere]

I was just having this conversation with the girl I started seeing. I am white and she is black. She had never dated anyone except black guys. She just said that very few white guys would hit on her or else she would have.

My list of ex's looks like a roll call for a benetton commericial though. I have had this same conversation with a lot them too. Most girls in my experience are open to anything but often the opportunity just doesn't present itself.

Ironically she is a dancer and all the attention that she gets at work is from the white guys.

 

[Centaurion]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lie
Hey centaurion, you're from Australia eh?

Its funny how in the US race seems to take on such an issue, or seems so loud in the media.

I've rarely seen any serious discussion of race in Aus, unless you get into a redneck town. Hell, in my entire life I've only heard 1 racist comment.

no, im not from australia, im originally from iran but grew up in norway. for the time being im studying down under. yeah, you're right about the racism part, but the thing is that people arnt racists against black/asians/ whatever but against aborigionals. i truly believe that they are the most surppressed people ever. man, everyone talk **** about the aboriginals 24/7.