Question: What do actually works nowadays?

[Lotus Effect]

Thanks for all the replies guys.
Some usefull, some total sh!t.
Congrats to the more mature audience!

I finally understood the major difference from here to Brasil.

Here there is no fooling around. Kiss close equals to Fck close.

In Brasil we have a more carefree culture about it, so you might end up hooking up with 4 chicks in a night, and banging 0.
Just making out and ciao. But this makes chicks way more approachable. And thats the trick. If they are approachable, if you know what you are doing, you can work your magic.

Here the thing is make out, straight to bed. And since kiss, means fck, chicks are way more reluctant to be open to convo. Because it is not carefree, so they are really playing defense.

It might be a no brainer to some of you guys, but it is not for us brazilians. This is very different.

Anyway, I've worked myself around this week.

Improved on social circle at some bars I knew some guys, begun working out at at a calisthenics park where I met some guys, and further advanced at the yoga studio. Turns out I just needed to take a more outcome independent approach, being more authentic on the interactions.

 

[Lotus Effect]

These two comments don't seem to fit. Are the band members all girls? I assume you hang out with the band members and socialize with them.



BTW: Some guys would consider 5-10 women for half a year as good. Maybe if you consider that good the good will roll bigger.

You assumed wrong.

Did not want to go into the specifics of it, it was jus bullets.

But no, its an all guys band, in another city.
So I just play seldomly, when I'm at their city, when they are playing, and I tag along.

So cant say they are my friends, as I'm not hanging out with them. I just know them.

10 chicks for half a year is ok. 5 not as much.
Specially if there are some one night stands there, which in my case there was one, which brings down the number a little bit

And another thing, I'm not some guys. I'm single at my prime. S&x is at the base at Maslows hierarchy, next to breathing and eating.
It is a non negotiable bro. You should be having it at least in a weekly basis. Anything further than that, and you gotta a health issue.

No wonder society is so fked up these days.

 

[Lotus Effect]

My first thought is just being out of place.
Relocating and meeting people takes a long time, longer than most people realize.
You will not forge connections anymore as quickly as you did in your 20’s.

Right!

My second thought is your age.
You are not old yet but men mature in their mid 30’s. You’re not a 20 year old boy anymore.
When you are 20 years old your seduction process is different from in your 30’s.
You might come to realize that change and figure out how to evolve a new way.

Kind of what happened, with the relocation process.

Also women change in their 30’s.
I felt the same way in my 30’s when I slowly noticed women my age had shifted priorities and direction in dating and relationships.
The 30 something women start leaving you out in the cold.

Personally I would prefer sleeping with 20 year old women for the rest of my life and I’d never need any change up with that no matter how I old I get.
But I think women legit change and switch their preferences strategically with life’s benchmarks and they follow in conjunction with whatever their girlfriends are doing.

So that’s my explanation of dating in your 30’s.

Thanks bro

 

[Lotus Effect]

How do you make women feel?

Really good, thanks for asking.
That is not the issue, conversation wise, and bed wise as well.

This kind of question makes me wonder if you are not holding up a mirror against yourself bruv?

 

[Lotus Effect]

If I were in your shoes I would spend significant time filling your calendar with events so every night you visit a museum, or yoga studio, baseball games, drawing club, paint and sip. Orchestra, opera, fashion, church, movie previews, book signings, cooking lessons, meetups, and special events. Just every day of the week have an event on your calendar that puts you around people.

Spend more time than normal filling your calendar with fun events and experiences. Introduce yourself to people at these events and maybe ask if they will join you by suggesting another event. Hand out your contact cards often and ask them to call you to meet again. Use your busy calendar of events as a replacement for a strong social circle.

Really solid advice.

My problem was, and still is, the leg injury, surgery, and recovery.
Only now, 50 days after droping the crutches is that I'm actually experiencing things.

And even so, they are hapening at a very slow pace, as there is much I cant do, and I'm only doing what the doctor is allowing me to.

It's been a journey.

maybe mix things up like:
less time working out alone/ more time with new clubs and groups
less time meditating alone/ more drinking beer at a bar
less time reading alone/ more time with rock band
less Bible/ ask a girl to smoke a joint with you
less work/ more fun.

About this.

Working out, the doctor only allowed me going back to gym yesterday. Until now, I could only do it light calistenics at home.
Im a budhist, so theres no working around the meditatin
I quit drinking because of the bone injury. Alcohol and tobaco are the worst for bone recovery (look it up)
when you can walk, there aint much you can do, hence the reading. even though I met the band on cruthces and it was kind of a prop on stage, but again, not my band, and not my city. I do whenever i can. The key here is pacience.
The Bible in case here is the DJ Bible btw, and I quit smoking joints 12 years ago. Messed heavely with my head. But I got the jist
And my question was on how to, where to, approach said 'girl' for fun activity. Yoga is doing fine, and my dating app ratio improved this last month.
About fun work, thats a long story. The best thing for now, is focusing on myh job. Im stranded in another country, and I have to fend for myself. There is no safe net, no mama. Its me and myself. I gotta be diligent. I had 35 years of being the craziest MFer alive. Now its time to balance it, and Ive got a cool gig. Dont want mess this up.

 

[Lotus Effect]

You’re seriously overthinking. Be funny, confident, warmly abrasive, carry a couple hundred in cash in 20’s, dress just slightly under the dress code, and demonstrate social proof

Congrats on the best advice! Social proof was the main issue. Guess I got that figured it this week,

 

[Lotus Effect]

What are you doing in terms of approaching women?

Are you using OLD at all?

If you aren't doing anything to change your results, why would you expect them to change?

Do the same things, get the same results right?

Mostly a balance of Mode 1 behaviour, with Tao of Steve (desireless, excelent, gone) in a atraction, confort, seducion framework.

I'm doing it. I literally wasted my time to come ask you guys because I figured someone would be more pragmatic and not gave me a generic answer, but I guess I expected too much from this, as this forum lost its shine some years ago.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Could you describe those 5-10 woman a little bit? I wonder if you’re going for a niche demographic

Lets count the lays.

1st , white spanish, friend of a friend, 39, 5 out 10
2nd, brown brazilian, , cold approach, 32, 7 out 10
3rd, ginger brazilian, friend of a friend, 30, 4 out 10
4th, petit white italian, 24, sister of my roomie, 8 out 10
5th, brownish portugues, 28, cold approach, single mom of 2, 7 out 10

Absolutely no niche bro

The hookups with no sx, were and ukranian, an american, a russian, and maybe one or 2 i dont remember

 

[Lotus Effect]

Despite your "accomplishments" and hobbies, you seem like a boring depressive tryhard. If I was a woman, that's how you would come across to me.

Awesome man. Thank you so much for your opinion. Which I haven't asked.

And returning the favour, according to your "friendly demeanour" you seem like an angry and spitefull little man. I dont need to be a woman for you to come across like that to me

 

[Lotus Effect]

You're only 175 cm (5'9") - that doesn't cut it these days. I EscortMax to fill the LONG dry spells, so I don't crazy.

Is escortmax paid professionals? If so, thank you but no thank you bro. If it works for you great, not my style.

 

[Lotus Effect]

I'm 5'8" and have zero issues. The issue as always is your sh!tty, excuse filled mindset

Im more in line with you mate.

 

[Lotus Effect]

It's really irrelevant because what works for one person doesn't work for another because it's highly tailored to each individual and their experiences with women over the course of time and lots of trial and error.

I could tell you exactly what I do and you could be terrible at it because you don't have the personality to pull it off. Someone else could tell me to do what they do and I could try and be terrible for the same reason.

You need to focus on what is going well in terms of getting women out on dates, what Is going well in date and what isn't. Keep what is going well and change what isn't.

It's trial and error, and you have to be willing to change things when they aren't giving you the results you want after you have worked on it for a long enough period of time.

Essentially what I am telling you is that you are going to have to be willing to fail but as a way of learning from your failures, failing differently and then beginning to use this to start succeeding more until you start succeeding more than you fail.

Cmon bro, I know that. Im 36 now.

But I'm coming from another country, and another culture. I dont need you to preach, the same way I dont need to brag.

I'm just asking for shared knowledge. Wanna share it, cool, dont wanna share it, cool as well. No need to preach though.

But please, if you are willing to write such essay as above, do it so saying what you do. If not, cool as well again

 

[Lotus Effect]

I see you are in Lisbon and you mentioned the culture is different in Europe from the Americas. 100% agree. Portuguese chicks are definitely going to be different (on average) from Brasileiras.

Look up language exchanges and go to them. You will meet Erasmus students (read: chicks spending a semester away and looking to party), foreigners, and locals including bored singles. It's one of the few environments where people mingle.

If you do yoga, you should defo be in yoga classes/groups. I hope you are.

If you are in a rock band that actually plays venues, you should get some pull out of that.

Give yourself a break, you had surgery, five lays in a year while on crutches is pretty good and some guys here would kill to be in your spot. Maybe you usually bat higher so just keep at it.

Thanks bro, your advice was actually really helpfull during this week.

Turns out I put that mindset on, and ended up asking for a girls number in yoga, and had a date yesterday, one thing led to the other.

Not five anymore. 6

The first one after my 36th birthday btw.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Tbh you are actually humble bragging. And that's oke. I rather say that to encourage you AND give you a reality check.

I am in the same boat, where one lay per 3 months is average. Small town, tons of work and not much going out.

You might have to readjust your expectations bro...this is a time where (apparently) 68(!!!) Procent of men don't ever date. So 5 lays in 8 months ...ain't that bad. That should be your mindset. That you are actually doing "okay".

Another thing is you should be aware that 28- 40( perhaps 50) year old women are a EXTREMELY difficult age bracket. They are still 304s, but the clock is ticking loudly. They'll want a bf who wants to take shyte to the next level.


The biggest takeaway is that you either sleep with women that are beneath you somehow, or that you fail to leave a lasting impression .

Tell me whats the reason for a single, 36 yo man to brag on a online forum of other man?
If I wanted to brag I would say that I have an sticky entry on the fking DJ Bible.

Not that I'm laying 5 chicks in a year.

I'm not even active in here. Theres no one to brag bro.

You read it wrong.

I was clearly asking for clarification.

Its not okay, and since we are saying whatever we want. F you bro. Stupi d ass comment.

Even with all the amenities that followed.

And regarding numbers, again, Im sorry for your standart. For me, that is super low. And I wanna strive for best.
If you are okay with mediocre, good for you. Im not.

About the chicks, I know that ****, Ive been alive for the last 36 years. But before taking to the next level, you have to reach the first level. Which is the whole point of this thread. Not an case study on 5 bullet points that I made about myself.

And f about the impression man, I ditched all the chicks. Im asking about spinning plates, and when, where and how to get more plates. Thats it.

If you want to give an insight on that, be my guest.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Being criminal or anti-social.

True dat

68% of men aren’t getting laid. You got 5 this year.

I don't care about them. They are probably lazy ass guys that blame heaven, hell, society, chicks, their mums, or anything in between for not reading into their own flaws.

And I supose I'm not speaking to these 68% guys in this forum. As I figured this forum is a place of Don juans, seducionists, or generally man who are on the constant strive to improve.

So I don't give a sh.t about this statistic. I'm not even sorry for them. I found my problems, and I dealt with them throughout my whole life.

And again, I hit a bump, and I thought that I would be speaking with the other percentage in this forum, to get some insight, not some sh.tty a.s statistic about losers.

5 is low. Fact.
Anything else is your hamster rationalizing BS.

But is 6 now, kinda better.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

You're only 175 cm (5'9") - that doesn't cut it these days. I EscortMax to fill the LONG dry spells, so I don't crazy.

 

[Lotus Effect]

You're so insecure about people challenging you that you get very defensive.

You're comparing the amount of women you got before and after being all of that you wrote, you did for the girlza not for you.

You thought if I become all of this, I'll be swimming in puzzy in no time, but you got disappointed when it didn't happen cause you did it for women. Bad convert contract.

Bad read bro! Enjoyed your effort though.
you are assuming that, from the little info you read.

You had no ideia what happened to me man.

I had a serious injury, my femur died, and doctors said I wouldn’t be back to walk.

I fking starved man. Have you ever starved?
Had no one to fend for me. And got fired just to top it all.

Now I have a way better job. And not only I’m walking but I’m also doing all kind of different sports, such as surfing and rowing.

So with all due respect boy, fk you.

I have my priorities very right bro. They are my job, my leg and my mental, physical and spiritual health on check.

The act of intercourse is a health, physical and mental, subject. So yes, I do wanna fking improve it. Back to the standards that I’m used to from where I’m from.

Don’t preach on me with this covert contract bs that you read on a site. I was tested man.

I have not read it. I lived it.

And again, you are annoying as always.
I’m trying to promote a fcking conversation between adult males on the dating scene, and all I get is the world class analysis of who I am.

Everyone is such fking expert, but I’m still to read an answer for my simple question.

What are YOU doing to pull nowadays

Simple. Can you reply that, or do you wanna further your sh.t analys on me?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Cmon bro, I know that. Im 36 now.

But I'm coming from another country, and another culture. I dont need you to preach, the same way I dont need to brag.

I'm just asking for shared knowledge. Wanna share it, cool, dont wanna share it, cool as well. No need to preach though.

But please, if you are willing to write such essay as above, do it so saying what you do. If not, cool as well again

You treat it like a numbers game and don't get bent out of shape if you go on 2 or 3 dates and things don't work out with any particular women or you have a losing streak of bad dates.

You just keep at the process of building a pipeline of women. When you go on a first date with one women, you should already have 2-3 more dates lined up with other women and should not see that woman again until you've seen at least 2 others.

The problem with most guys is they get fixated on one woman and spend an inordinate amount of time talking prior to the dates instead of just meeting up and seeing how things go.

So instead of being able to meet up with 10-15 women over a month period, they have wasted their time talking to 1 woman in a month, have no other prospects in their pipeline and then feel dejected and desperate to make it work with that women because they have invested so much time and energy into her. Then they give up.

So the answer is to meet up quickly, don't expend a lot of time and energy prior to meeting up and always keep your potential date pipeline filled with women so that you never have a scarcity mentality.

 

[Lotus Effect]

You treat it like a numbers game and don't get bent out of shape if you go on 2 or 3 dates and things don't work out with any particular women or you have a losing streak of bad dates.

You just keep at the process of building a pipeline of women. When you go on a first date with one women, you should already have 2-3 more dates lined up with other women and should not see that woman again until you've seen at least 2 others.

The problem with most guys is they get fixated on one woman and spend an inordinate amount of time talking prior to the dates instead of just meeting up and seeing how things go.

So instead of being able to meet up with 10-15 women over a month period, they have wasted their time talking to 1 woman in a month, have no other prospects in their pipeline and then feel dejected and desperate to make it work with that women because they have invested so much time and energy into her. Then they give up.

So the answer is to meet up quickly, don't expend a lot of time and energy prior to meeting up and always keep your potential date pipeline filled with women so that you never have a scarcity mentality.

Yeah. Thanks mate!
Now it’s going the way I’d imagine it to go! Thanks for the reply.

Again, I may assume you are not Brazilian, and so, not familiar with Brazilian date scene.
The same way, I’m not European.

So to further improve on what you said, my question remains. Where, when and how are you meeting chicks and filling the pipeline?

Consider that I do know it’s a numbers game (it’s actually the name of my journal) and also:
- Getting the girl is not the success
- Always have a back up chick
- Friendship, abandon all hope ye who enters it

So Im avoiding all this mishaps

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah. Thanks mate!
Now it’s going the way I’d imagine it to go! Thanks for the reply.

Again, I may assume you are not Brazilian, and so, not familiar with Brazilian date scene.
The same way, I’m not European.

So to further improve on what you said, my question remains. Where, when and how are you meeting chicks and filling the pipeline?

Consider that I do know it’s a numbers game (it’s actually the name of my journal) and also:
- Getting the girl is not the success
- Always have a back up chick
- Friendship, abandon all hope ye who enters it

So Im avoiding all this mishaps

I wish I was Brazilian because I have a serious thing for Brazilian women...I find them so fvcking Sexy...

Latina women in general but especially Brazilian...my roommate in college was from Brazil and he had some female Brazilian friends that would come over and hang out with us that were absolutely smoke shows.

Personally I have a GF now but when I was doing it, it was mainly thru OLD and then the random approach while I was out and about during the course of my day of I saw someone I was interested in. My GF actually kinda picked me up at a water park as I walked by shirtless and another guy came up to ask me what I was doing to stay in such good shape. Then she chimes in and starts talking to me and that was that...

OLD is by far the most efficient(at least where I am at). You can turn it into a cookie cutter operation if you have a good system in place. Message 15-20 women with unique messages in the morning that are relatively simple openers, respond to the messages you get back at night and then work on setting up dates from there. Rinse and repeat the next day.

Some people spend time to specifically go out and try and pick up women but I personally don't think it's a great use of time, especially when you could just be doing it while you are already out and about shopping at a store, or in a restaurant or out at the park, etc.

Just be ready to take advantage of opportunities when they are presented to you.