Question: What do actually works nowadays?

Lotus Effect

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2013
Messages
747
Reaction score
265
Age
36
Location
Lisbon
Hey guys!

Straight to the point, what do actually work in today’s environment?

On my side:
I’m 36
I workout everyday
I eat clean. Don’t drink. Don’t smoke
I meditate twice a day
I have a cool job, and make good money
I am good looking, not very tall though (1,75)
I yoga, swimm and row.
My work background is sales, so I’m a good communicator.
And sometimes I sing in a rock band in the weekend
I’ve read pretty much everything that is out there on stoicism and game (the Bible, pook, mystery… all this old school stuff)

And I’m pulling very few chicks.
I had 5 lays this year. That is very very low.
To my standards, this is the same as 0.

Kiss close I guess we can round it up to 10. Which is ridiculously low.


The other side
I moved to a new country/city so I have no social proof
Culture in Europe is very different from culture in Brazil, and I feel same rules don’t apply here
It’s harder to make friends, specially guys
I can say with some confidence that I have no male friends, only some acquaintances.

It really feels like I went back 15 years in time, before I met game and had no clue what to do.

Side note:
Had a motorcycle accident in September last year, two surgeries and I just got of crutches last month, so there are some limitations in the sports area for me, for now.

-

So what do you do? What is it I’m missing

Or even better, what are you doing right?
Where are you pulling. How are you approaching. What are you reading.

By the way, I live in Lisbon, if that means anything.
 

plumber

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2022
Messages
129
Reaction score
95
And sometimes I sing in a rock band in the weekend
These two comments don't seem to fit. Are the band members all girls? I assume you hang out with the band members and socialize with them.

I can say with some confidence that I have no male friends, only some acquaintances.

BTW: Some guys would consider 5-10 women for half a year as good. Maybe if you consider that good the good will roll bigger.
 

Jumbo Gumbo

Banned
Joined
Jul 9, 2024
Messages
44
Reaction score
13
My first thought is just being out of place.
Relocating and meeting people takes a long time, longer than most people realize.
You will not forge connections anymore as quickly as you did in your 20’s.

My second thought is your age.
You are not old yet but men mature in their mid 30’s. You’re not a 20 year old boy anymore.
When you are 20 years old your seduction process is different from in your 30’s.
You might come to realize that change and figure out how to evolve a new way.

Also women change in their 30’s.
I felt the same way in my 30’s when I slowly noticed women my age had shifted priorities and direction in dating and relationships.
The 30 something women start leaving you out in the cold.

Personally I would prefer sleeping with 20 year old women for the rest of my life and I’d never need any change up with that no matter how I old I get.
But I think women legit change and switch their preferences strategically with life’s benchmarks and they follow in conjunction with whatever their girlfriends are doing.

So that’s my explanation of dating in your 30’s.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,226
Reaction score
1,354
Hey guys!

Straight to the point, what do actually work in today’s environment?

On my side:
I’m 36
I workout everyday
I eat clean. Don’t drink. Don’t smoke
I meditate twice a day
I have a cool job, and make good money
I am good looking, not very tall though (1,75)
I yoga, swimm and row.
My work background is sales, so I’m a good communicator.
And sometimes I sing in a rock band in the weekend
I’ve read pretty much everything that is out there on stoicism and game (the Bible, pook, mystery… all this old school stuff)

And I’m pulling very few chicks.
I had 5 lays this year. That is very very low.
To my standards, this is the same as 0.

Kiss close I guess we can round it up to 10. Which is ridiculously low.


The other side
I moved to a new country/city so I have no social proof
Culture in Europe is very different from culture in Brazil, and I feel same rules don’t apply here
It’s harder to make friends, specially guys
I can say with some confidence that I have no male friends, only some acquaintances.

It really feels like I went back 15 years in time, before I met game and had no clue what to do.

Side note:
Had a motorcycle accident in September last year, two surgeries and I just got of crutches last month, so there are some limitations in the sports area for me, for now.

-

So what do you do? What is it I’m missing

Or even better, what are you doing right?
Where are you pulling. How are you approaching. What are you reading.

By the way, I live in Lisbon, if that means anything.
How do you make women feel?
 

Jumbo Gumbo

Banned
Joined
Jul 9, 2024
Messages
44
Reaction score
13
If I were in your shoes I would spend significant time filling your calendar with events so every night you visit a museum, or yoga studio, baseball games, drawing club, paint and sip. Orchestra, opera, fashion, church, movie previews, book signings, cooking lessons, meetups, and special events. Just every day of the week have an event on your calendar that puts you around people.

Spend more time than normal filling your calendar with fun events and experiences. Introduce yourself to people at these events and maybe ask if they will join you by suggesting another event. Hand out your contact cards often and ask them to call you to meet again. Use your busy calendar of events as a replacement for a strong social circle.

maybe mix things up like:
less time working out alone/ more time with new clubs and groups
less time meditating alone/ more drinking beer at a bar
less time reading alone/ more time with rock band
less Bible/ ask a girl to smoke a joint with you
less work/ more fun.
 
Last edited:

Divorced w 3

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 20, 2022
Messages
2,520
Reaction score
1,435
You’re seriously overthinking. Be funny, confident, warmly abrasive, carry a couple hundred in cash in 20’s, dress just slightly under the dress code, and demonstrate social proof
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,507
Reaction score
15,612
What are you doing in terms of approaching women?

Are you using OLD at all?

If you aren't doing anything to change your results, why would you expect them to change?

Do the same things, get the same results right?
 

parabellum

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Messages
139
Reaction score
116
Location
Ice coast
Could you describe those 5-10 woman a little bit? I wonder if you’re going for a niche demographic
 

Jumbo Gumbo

Banned
Joined
Jul 9, 2024
Messages
44
Reaction score
13
Less work/ more fun

also consider finding a girlfriend who will stick around a while, if you can hold on to one long enough.

And I’m pulling very few chicks.
I had 5 lays this year. That is very very low.
To my standards, this is the same as 0.
This is cringey. Man, if I think that is cringey just imagine how bad women would react hearing that.

less entitlement/ more respect for the mating game
More honesty about yourself
 

Lotus Effect

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2013
Messages
747
Reaction score
265
Age
36
Location
Lisbon
Thanks everyone for taking time to reply my thread.
I'm at work right now, so I will take time to reply each answer afterwards.

But I guess we went a little off topic, and you focused more in me (Maybe it's my fault, with all the backstory)

So let's try again:

What are YOU guys doing to pull?
Where, how, when?
Direct, Indirect, Day, Night, Social Circle, Online?

What is working for you guys?

Cheers
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
11,296
Reaction score
4,664
You're only 175 cm (5'9") - that doesn't cut it these days. I EscortMax to fill the LONG dry spells, so I don't crazy. :mad:
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,507
Reaction score
15,612
Thanks everyone for taking time to reply my thread.
I'm at work right now, so I will take time to reply each answer afterwards.

But I guess we went a little off topic, and you focused more in me (Maybe it's my fault, with all the backstory)

So let's try again:

What are YOU guys doing to pull?
Where, how, when?
Direct, Indirect, Day, Night, Social Circle, Online?

What is working for you guys?

Cheers
It's really irrelevant because what works for one person doesn't work for another because it's highly tailored to each individual and their experiences with women over the course of time and lots of trial and error.

I could tell you exactly what I do and you could be terrible at it because you don't have the personality to pull it off. Someone else could tell me to do what they do and I could try and be terrible for the same reason.

You need to focus on what is going well in terms of getting women out on dates, what Is going well in date and what isn't. Keep what is going well and change what isn't.

It's trial and error, and you have to be willing to change things when they aren't giving you the results you want after you have worked on it for a long enough period of time.

Essentially what I am telling you is that you are going to have to be willing to fail but as a way of learning from your failures, failing differently and then beginning to use this to start succeeding more until you start succeeding more than you fail.
 

Vanderdonck

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2024
Messages
235
Reaction score
199
Age
48
Thanks everyone for taking time to reply my thread.
I'm at work right now, so I will take time to reply each answer afterwards.

But I guess we went a little off topic, and you focused more in me (Maybe it's my fault, with all the backstory)

So let's try again:

What are YOU guys doing to pull?
Where, how, when?
Direct, Indirect, Day, Night, Social Circle, Online?

What is working for you guys?

Cheers
I see you are in Lisbon and you mentioned the culture is different in Europe from the Americas. 100% agree. Portuguese chicks are definitely going to be different (on average) from Brasileiras.

Look up language exchanges and go to them. You will meet Erasmus students (read: chicks spending a semester away and looking to party), foreigners, and locals including bored singles. It's one of the few environments where people mingle.

If you do yoga, you should defo be in yoga classes/groups. I hope you are.

If you are in a rock band that actually plays venues, you should get some pull out of that.

Give yourself a break, you had surgery, five lays in a year while on crutches is pretty good and some guys here would kill to be in your spot. Maybe you usually bat higher so just keep at it.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,544
Reaction score
4,344
Tbh you are actually humble bragging. And that's oke. I rather say that to encourage you AND give you a reality check.

I am in the same boat, where one lay per 3 months is average. Small town, tons of work and not much going out.

You might have to readjust your expectations bro...this is a time where (apparently) 68(!!!) Procent of men don't ever date. So 5 lays in 8 months ...ain't that bad. That should be your mindset. That you are actually doing "okay".

Another thing is you should be aware that 28- 40( perhaps 50:oops:) year old women are a EXTREMELY difficult age bracket. They are still 304s, but the clock is ticking loudly. They'll want a bf who wants to take shyte to the next level.


The biggest takeaway is that you either sleep with women that are beneath you somehow, or that you fail to leave a lasting impression .
 

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
1,164
Reaction score
1,050
Age
46

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
3,660
Reaction score
3,123
Location
California
Hey guys!

Straight to the point, what do actually work in today’s environment?

On my side:
I’m 36
I workout everyday
I eat clean. Don’t drink. Don’t smoke
I meditate twice a day
I have a cool job, and make good money
I am good looking, not very tall though (1,75)
I yoga, swimm and row.
My work background is sales, so I’m a good communicator.
And sometimes I sing in a rock band in the weekend
I’ve read pretty much everything that is out there on stoicism and game (the Bible, pook, mystery… all this old school stuff)

And I’m pulling very few chicks.
I had 5 lays this year. That is very very low.
To my standards, this is the same as 0.

Kiss close I guess we can round it up to 10. Which is ridiculously low.


The other side
I moved to a new country/city so I have no social proof
Culture in Europe is very different from culture in Brazil, and I feel same rules don’t apply here
It’s harder to make friends, specially guys
I can say with some confidence that I have no male friends, only some acquaintances.

It really feels like I went back 15 years in time, before I met game and had no clue what to do.

Side note:
Had a motorcycle accident in September last year, two surgeries and I just got of crutches last month, so there are some limitations in the sports area for me, for now.

-

So what do you do? What is it I’m missing

Or even better, what are you doing right?
Where are you pulling. How are you approaching. What are you reading.

By the way, I live in Lisbon, if that means anything.
68% of men aren’t getting laid. You got 5 this year.
 
Top