Question for you guys

PTC

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Just got home and had note on my desk from her. It reads:

There is no one else just you. I hate that I'm leaving town and we haven't spoken. I'm reaching out to you PTC and putting this in your court. I'm sorry that I upset you. All I do is work out with (GYM GUY) and we talk while we work out. I haven't done anyhting to make you think that you can't trust me, I'm not real sure why you don't. I hope you have a good weekend. I am glad you are in my life PTC. I love you and I'll miss you. I hope you get over being mad at me.


So,...should I contact her or just wait it out? I can't believe she hasn't seen what she has done by giving some random dude her phone number. I think I might just text her what jophil28 told me to tell her. Dam mind fvckin women!!! :box:
 

speed dawg

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<shaking head>

Did you even read my post?

She's not apologizing here. This is just attempt #1 to woo you back in. Actually she sounds more at the end like she's just fvcking with you.

Don't contact her. Do other things, that is, unless you enjoy this type of dramafied feminine nonsense.
 

jophil28

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speed dawg said:
<shaking head>

Did you even read my post?

She's not apologizing here. This is just attempt #1 to woo you back in. Actually she sounds more at the end like she's just fvcking with you.

Don't contact her. Do other things, that is, unless you enjoy this type of dramafied feminine nonsense.
Yeah, I agree. I can hear the sound of that Hoover all the way from down here. THis is classic female 'two guys love me " drama....and it can only exist if YOU play a part. The way to win is NOT to play.

When I first read your post about Gym Guy, I somehow assumed that he was her 'personal trainer' . My mistake. So this is just some random guy who wants to f*k your G/f ?
IN that case she had NO other reason to give him her phone # other than to encourage him...she wanted him to chase her.

I have lived through this exact same BS three years ago with an AW, and at the time I believed her deception. Turns out that she was addicted to male attention and did not care one cold sh1t who she hurt to get it.
I heard all the same lies that you are hearing..in fact if you tell her that you "do not date women who are talking to other men ", then you can expect the BS to amp up. Women like this create a male fan club and HATE to lose one member. Especially #1 guy - that would be you.

I say again, play hard ball here and maintain radio silence until after her Girl's Weekend.. Then, next week, when she becomes increasingly nervous about losing you, tell her that you do not date women who give out their number to other men. And take a firm stand because she will gush and goo all over your a$$ in order to suck you back in.
YOu have to decide what you will do when she starts texting you from the beach...you can expect this .." Hey PTC,I am having a good time with the girls, but I would MUCH rather be with you "....or " You are so hot. Im thinking about you. I love your texts/ emails/ messages" and so on.

These women are their own worst enemy ( and some of them may be yours' too ).
They will all wind up in miserable relationships with boring AFCs because no decent guy will tolerate their appalling cr*p.

Stay strong brother.
 
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Rollo Tomassi

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PTC/RobLB: Don't you think this sh!t has gone on for quite long enough?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=128804

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=129580

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=130244

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=131595

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=133159

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=159676

August 2007? We're coming up on the 2 year mark now. Let PTC's illustration be a lesson to every guy who thinks it's OK to have ONEitis if you're "in love" and in an LTR. How old is he going to be before he comes to realize how much time he's wasted, how many options he's limited himself from, how many opportunities to mature, in the past 2 years? Will he ever? His Ex-Fiance / GF is classic BPD, no argument there, but the real issue is HIM. You will only get what you have gotten if you keep doing what you've done. Insanity is repeating the same process over and over again and expecting different results.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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PTC said:
Just got home and had note on my desk from her. It reads:

There is no one else just you. I hate that I'm leaving town and we haven't spoken. I'm reaching out to you PTC and putting this in your court. I'm sorry that I upset you. All I do is work out with (GYM GUY) and we talk while we work out. I haven't done anyhting to make you think that you can't trust me, I'm not real sure why you don't. I hope you have a good weekend. I am glad you are in my life PTC. I love you and I'll miss you. I hope you get over being mad at me.

Geee, that kinda sounds like this:

PTC said:
This was one of the emails she sent me last:

I think right now it is crucial for both of us to show each other what kind of people we really are. I think we both lost sight of that. Its very important to me for you to know im not the bad person you think i am. And i really want that feeling back i had when we were first together. I want that strong, secure, loving, trusting person back that i used to have. I know alot of the way it was in the end was my fault. I do know that, but maybe from a distance you will see who i really am. That i dont want to hurt you and that i want you happy as well. And i didnt mean what i said and you know it! You werent really nice to me either ya know!
or this,...

PTC said:
This was the last email she sent me after I told her about the way she treated me:

Well ya know, I am a cold heartless b1tch!!! hahaha!!! Anyways, I love you, I miss you, and i am hoping it can be more than friends. So you can take that how you want, and i hope you feel the same. I miss my snuggle partner.
Oh wait a minute, that was back in September of 2007,...I need to correct my last post, this isn't coming up on 2 years now, it'll be 2 years in June.

RobLB said:
,..So 2 days later I go over to her house to end it. She starts balling and crying saying that she doesnt have feelings for him and she doesnt want to lose me. I tell her my trust i had for was gone and if it was going to work out it would take a while for me to regain it.
Ahh, now that IS a classic! And who could forget this one?

But wait, there's more, ah dammit, now I have to readjust the duration again. As it turns out this sh!t's been going on since October of 2005 so it's really coming up on the 4 year mark in October this year.

Oh, and BTW, you still owe me my $10.
 

Nutz

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KontrollerX said:
The only suggestion you need is...

Dump that b!tch.

A single mommy who cavorts with a gym guy who has expressed clear interest in her who she will not sever ties with because she does not respect or value your relationship is not someone who you should be with.

Oh yeah and the single mommy thing.

DJ's take note never stay with or get with a woman like this in the first place.
QFMFT+++

DTB!

At best she's just keeping him as an orbiter for the attention. At worst she's banging him behind your back or looking to trade up.
 

Nutz

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PTC said:
Just got home and had note on my desk from her. It reads:

There is no one else just you. I hate that I'm leaving town and we haven't spoken. I'm reaching out to you PTC and putting this in your court. I'm sorry that I upset you. All I do is work out with (GYM GUY) and we talk while we work out. I haven't done anyhting to make you think that you can't trust me, I'm not real sure why you don't. I hope you have a good weekend. I am glad you are in my life PTC. I love you and I'll miss you. I hope you get over being mad at me.


So,...should I contact her or just wait it out? I can't believe she hasn't seen what she has done by giving some random dude her phone number. I think I might just text her what jophil28 told me to tell her. Dam mind fvckin women!!! :box:
LOL, typical chick logic. She's deflecting her inappropriate behavior as it being a trust issue on his part. No. This has nothing to do with trust. This has everything to do with her inappropriate behavior.
 

PTC

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Rollo Tomassi said:
Geee, that kinda sounds like this:



or this,...



Oh wait a minute, that was back in September of 2007,...I need to correct my last post, this isn't coming up on 2 years now, it'll be 2 years in June.



Ahh, now that IS a classic! And who could forget this one?

But wait, there's more, ah dammit, now I have to readjust the duration again. As it turns out this sh!t's been going on since October of 2005 so it's really coming up on the 4 year mark in October this year.

Oh, and BTW, you still owe me my $10.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQiJdf-ebIs

:crackup:

Rollo I appreciate your insight and your endless detective work, AGAIN, but I have nothing to hide. I'm here seeking answers like every other member of this forum, as it does say: A forum for DJs at least 25 years old to discuss problems, situations, and techniques UNIQUE to older and more mature men. And in all honestly I take yours with the smallest grain of salt. For one your married,...for how long I don't know and I dont care but what makes you so proficient in relationships when you've been in a monogamous one for so long?? And yes I'm sure according to you you have a perfect life and marriage but how do WE really know that? Or do you come here everyday to seek answers for your own problems? When is the last time you have actually been on a date?? Sure alot of these guys on here aren't perfect in DJ skills as you SEEM to be but isn't that the reason we're here? But they do come here and open themselves up only for you to bash them, and yes, I've gone back and read many of YOUR replies and you take no remorse in doing so. Is there that much hatred built up inside you that requires you to do this? Is married life that boring where one day you decided to be a moderator of a board solely about relationships? And speaking of marriage, is there really that much difference in ONEitis and marriage?? Aren't YOU in a ONEitis relationship??? I bet if you said no your wife would beg to differ.

And BTW the $10 bet, you lost.
 

Jeffst1980

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PTC said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQiJdf-ebIs

:crackup:

Rollo I appreciate your insight and your endless detective work, AGAIN, but I have nothing to hide. I'm here seeking answers like every other member of this forum, as it does say: A forum for DJs at least 25 years old to discuss problems, situations, and techniques UNIQUE to older and more mature men. And in all honestly I take yours with the smallest grain of salt. For one your married,...for how long I don't know and I dont care but what makes you so proficient in relationships when you've been in a monogamous one for so long??
A happy monogamous relationship is actually a million times more difficult to pull off than a pickup or ONS.

It may not have been entirely fair for him to call you out, so to speak, but Rollo gave you very good advice, as did others. If you disqualify advice on the basis of your ego, it will be your downfall.

As Nutz posted, this isn't a "trust issue." It's an inappropriate behavior issue. She knows a guy is interested in her and is encouraging him.
 

PTC

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Jeffst1980 said:
A happy monogamous relationship is actually a million times more difficult to pull off than a pickup or ONS.

It may not have been entirely fair for him to call you out, so to speak, but Rollo gave you very good advice, as did others. If you disqualify advice on the basis of your ego, it will be your downfall.

As Nutz posted, this isn't a "trust issue." It's an inappropriate behavior issue. She knows a guy is interested in her and is encouraging him.
I agree. Rollo did give me good advice in his first response but he goes a little too far sometimes. And I take all advice on this board, some more than others, and I do try and put my ego aside. I have never argued anybody's advice on here,...lordy thats why I'm here ;)
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Rollo Tomassi

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The primary reason I don't have a "How to be a DJ" DVD, do seminars, run a podcast, have a private life coaching business or engage in any number of other ventures I could turn a buck from in 'helping' guys is because it limits me from giving a guy a swift kick in his ass when he needs it most.

So, feel free to deflect as much attention away from yourself by comparing my lifestyle with your own; it doesn't change the fact that you've now wasted 4 years of your life trying to find the magic formula that will turn this woman into something she's not and will never be. I realize that's a hard pill to swallow, but I didn't have to do much research to piece together your issues because you've consistently rehashed EXACTLY the same problems with this woman here for going on 5 years now! I realize it must come off as a smack-down, but what else is left brother? I don't bust your chops because I want myself to look so cool, and I don't do it to make you feel worse, I do it to shock the sh!t out of you. When are you going to unplug man? Are you going to be 53 and thinking,

So,...should I contact her or just wait it out? I can't believe she hasn't seen what she has done by giving some random dude her phone number. I think I might just text her what jophil28 told me to tell her. Dam mind fvckin women!!!
?

You like posting a periodic thread here about how horrible she is when it suits you because you know a good percentage of SS is going to affirm your estimate of her, pat you on the back and say "yeah, they're all evil conniving b!tches." You're not looking for a solution, you're looking for consolation, and you're paralyzed by this. You've been paralyzed for 4 years now.

I hate to get this personal, but I think it needs to be addressed again, do you
remember this?

PTC said:
Married twice, kids with two different dads, parents divorced, cheated on her husband, twice cause she "thought" he had cheated on her and one big one was her jekyl and hyde personality. She could be the sweetest person but when she was wrong about something or was in an arguement she was crazy scary,...throwing stuff, cussing,..arond her kids no less. In fact that was the final straw in this relationsh!t. I didn't want my little girl growing up with someone like that. I feel sorry for her kids. Deep down she is a good mother to them in a mother kinda way but you just don't throw raging fits with every other word out of your mouth is fvck.
And this is the woman you're still entertaining after 4 years? Really? Sorry to put it this way, but your daughter IS being affected by this, whether you acknowledge it or not.

Heh, and we're supposed to be self-righteously shocked that she'd give her number to the gym-guy?
 
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PTC

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Rollo Tomassi said:
The primary reason I don't have a "How to be a DJ" DVD, do seminars, run a podcast, have a private life coaching business or engage in any number of other ventures I could turn a buck from in 'helping' guys is because it limits me from giving a guy a swift kick in his ass when he needs it most.

So, Lance, feel free to deflect as much attention away from yourself by comparing my lifestyle with your own; it doesn't change the fact that you've now wasted 4 years of your life trying to find the magic formula that will turn this woman into something she's not and will never be. I realize that's a hard pill to swallow, but I didn't have to do much research to piece together your issues because you've consistently rehashed EXACTLY the same problems with this woman here for going on 5 years now! I realize it must come off as a smack-down, but what else is left brother? I don't bust your chops because I want myself to look so cool, and I don't do it to make you feel worse, I do it to shock the sh!t out of you. When are you going to unplug man? Are you going to be 53 and thinking,

?

You like posting a periodic thread here about how horrible she is when it suits you because you know a good percentage of SS is going to affirm your estimate of her, pat you on the back and say "yeah, they're all evil conniving b!tches." You're not looking for a solution, you're looking for consolation, and you're paralyzed by this. You've been paralyzed for 4 years now.

I hate to get this personal, but I think it needs to be addressed again, do you
remember this?



And this is the woman you're still entertaining after 4 years? Really? Sorry to put it this way Lance, but your daughter IS being affected by this, whether you acknowledge it or not.

Heh, and we're supposed to be self-righteously shocked that she'd give her number to the gym-guy?

OK,....there is some grave misunderstanding here!!! This is not the same girl!!!! I have only known this girl 5 months. Whatever gave you the idea that I was still with that crazy??? I have dated 4 different women since her,...my god!!

Now I understand,...If I was actually referring to her then yes I would deserve everything you said plus some!!! You would need to physically come over here and kick me in the nads and take my daughter away from me!! But this is a totally different girl,...
 

piranha45

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PTC you must at least understand posters' frustration when it has been demonstrated that you've been (ignoring / not utilizing) advice time after time after time; people don't like talking to a wall, and that's the vibe that you're giving out.

and then when you defensively try to insult someone who's obviously spent a lot of time trying to help you.... geez.
 

PTC

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piranha45 said:
PTC you must at least understand posters' frustration when it has been demonstrated that you've been (ignoring / not utilizing) advice time after time after time; people don't like talking to a wall, and that's the vibe that you're giving out.

and then when you defensively try to insult someone who's obviously spent a lot of time trying to help you.... geez.
Like I said in previous post,...there has been some misunderstanding between Rollo and myself. He thought I was still referring to the same girl which is why he cracked on me and I returned fire.

I don't ignore advice, I just had a (NEW)situation I needed reassured on and it got twisted around.
 

KontrollerX

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"Rollo I appreciate your insight and your endless detective work, AGAIN, but I have nothing to hide. I'm here seeking answers like every other member of this forum, as it does say: A forum for DJs at least 25 years old to discuss problems, situations, and techniques UNIQUE to older and more mature men. And in all honestly I take yours with the smallest grain of salt. For one your married,...for how long I don't know and I dont care but what makes you so proficient in relationships when you've been in a monogamous one for so long?? And yes I'm sure according to you you have a perfect life and marriage but how do WE really know that? Or do you come here everyday to seek answers for your own problems? When is the last time you have actually been on a date?? Sure alot of these guys on here aren't perfect in DJ skills as you SEEM to be but isn't that the reason we're here? But they do come here and open themselves up only for you to bash them, and yes, I've gone back and read many of YOUR replies and you take no remorse in doing so. Is there that much hatred built up inside you that requires you to do this? Is married life that boring where one day you decided to be a moderator of a board solely about relationships? And speaking of marriage, is there really that much difference in ONEitis and marriage?? Aren't YOU in a ONEitis relationship??? I bet if you said no your wife would beg to differ.

And BTW the $10 bet, you lost."


Doctor Tomassi I appreciate your insight and your endless medical skills, but AGAIN, I have nothing to hide. I'm here seeking answers like every other person that needs medical assistance, as it does say: A hospital for sick people of all ages to discuss medical problems that are UNIQUE. And in all honestly I take yours with the smallest grain of salt. For one you are a heart surgeon,...for how long I don't know and I dont care but what makes you so proficient in other medical areas of expertise when you've been a heart surgeon for so long?? And yes I'm sure according to you you have a perfect surgery record but how do WE really know that? Do you come here everyday looking to operate on someone? When is the last time you have successfully treated someone for swine flu?? Sure alot of these doctors here aren't perfect in medical skills as you SEEM to be but isn't that the reason we're here? But they do come here and open heart patients up only for you to do your job and help guide them on the correct methods of surgery when it appears they are messing up. How can they learn from that?, and yes, I've gone back and watched videos of your work alongside new doctors and you take no remorse in doing this and making sure no patients lives are lost. Is there that much hatred built up inside you that requires you to save lives? Is being top surgeon that boring where one day you decided to be a director of a clinic solely about medical problems? And speaking of medical problems, is there really that much difference in heart surgery and curing the Swine Flu?? Aren't YOU primarily a heart surgeon??? I bet if you said no the medical board would beg to differ.

And BTW the $10 bet, you won you devious bastard!

How do you know me better than I know myself?

"He thought I was still referring to the same girl which is why he cracked on me and I returned fire."

Even if it is a different girl (extremely doubtful) you are just living out the same BPD and AFC drama with the new candidates.

You need to change how you relate to and deal with women.

Change yourself from the inside out and you won't be reliving this crap and going down the borderline or just self destructive AFC road over and over and over again.

You need to say no to single mommies, no to red flag giving off women, no to disrespect from women and on and on it goes.

Until you do that you will always fail and find yourself in frustrating situations.
 

PTC

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KontrollerX said:
You need to say no to single mommies, no to red flag giving off women, no to disrespect from women and on and on it goes.

Until you do that you will always fail and find yourself in frustrating situations.
I know, your right. It just seems hard sometimes when your my age (43) to find a woman without a kid or without some kinda red flag. I live in a small town so any single woman thats worth a sh!t is either a mom, crazy or has some other red flag.

Oh and I assure you it is a different girl. I can prove it thru a PM if you like
 

decades

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every problem you bring to forum over the last 4 years involves damaged women. take some responsiblity and start making better choices!
 

Jeffst1980

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PTC said:
I know, your right. It just seems hard sometimes when your my age (43) to find a woman without a kid or without some kinda red flag. I live in a small town so any single woman thats worth a sh!t is either a mom, crazy or has some other red flag.
I think you should consider packing up and moving to a major city, or at least a suburb near a major city. You're single and there are more job opportunities in cities, so there's no reason this wouldn't be possible.


I grew up in a small town and I can attest that a great majority of single women late 20s-30s in a small town are damaged. The premium placed on attractive women is significantly higher in small towns, so every decent girl is swooped up instantaneously. Plus, the culture of a small town is much like high school in that social proof is everything.

In a major city, there are still low quality crazies and the like, but the net you can cast is exponentially larger. Without much effort, you can be dating a different woman every DAY if you have your s#it together. Women in major cities are much more open to meeting new people, and the opportunities to meet women are endless. Plus, sarging in the city allows you to start fresh if something doesn't work out. It's like the movie "Groundhogs Day."

You're prone to oneitis because your net is small. Therefore, you are willing to overlook severe deficits in character. If you had a larger sample size, you'd see that these disrespectful girls can be easily replaced.

Now is the perfect time to make a move and set up new opportunities for the future. Do it and don't look back.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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PTC said:
OK,....there is some grave misunderstanding here!!! This is not the same girl!!!!
Not buying it.

This is,
PTC said:
We met thru mutual friends and started talking online. We started dating a month before her divorce was final. She had ben seperated from him for a year. He is a piece of sh!t. He cheated on her numerous times as his first wife and could give two sh!ts about his kids.
is far too similar to this,

PTC said:
Its just that my current GF just got out of a marriage with a cheating husband and the funny thing is that these 2 girls used to be friends,..well kinda,...small ars town!!!
which is very similar to this,

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=97066

You'll pardon my skepticism, but either you're seeing the exact same woman or her evil twin.
 

Aenigma

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You'll pardon my skepticism, but either you're seeing the exact same woman or her evil twin.
I think bpds are all controlled by the same misfired subroutine somewhere in the neo-cortex. Which is why they all act the same.

I think the same could be said of AFCs.
 
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