Pug's 100 approach journal

[Pugsley_f5]

Hey fellas, I started BootCamp several weeks ago and got rather frustrated with it cause I couldn't get 50 Hi's a week,(I was only counting chicks that stretched me saying hi to them, not just any guy that walks by or some ugly chick that I feel superior to) and I realized that BC to me is just prolonging the pain I will experience approaching chicks..(im a very straighforward type of guy and would rather cut through the chase (or fear) one get rid of it quickly than spread out over 8 weeks)

. I was very inspired by Jwhites approches and even though they scare the Sh1t out of me I chose to take that route instead. Yes there is more of a shock factor involved and it takes alot bigger kahunas to do an approach that way but after you do a couple I feel that I just cut through 4 weeks of BC that I didn't really need and knock down that four weeks worth of progress in one week.

I am going to do 100 approaches, not only for my benefit but for the benefit of other guys on here, to know that there are other alternatives (shorter, but much scarier) than BC (now don't get this confused with the reading part, everyone needs to read the BC material and the bible (i'm about halfway thru it right now).

I think everyone should try BC first before this because most people would just get depressed and frustrated doing this type of camp and would much rather have a through coverage of skills (as in BC), whereas im just looking to KILL off all social fears I have.

I also decided to do this because this is exactly how I got rid of my social fear of talking to people and having convos with people.
I just bit the bullet one time and it just got easier and easier to the point now a year later, I can start a convo with just about anyone except girls that I am attracted to and want to get their number. This style has worked before for me so after self-destructing on BC (theres a tip here), I am going to have much more success with this fast, straighforward, grab your nuts and hold on type approach.

Heres my approach, I hope to get good results with it but half to one third numbers/approaches I would be satisfied with...losing my fear is my main objective in this, getting numbers is a nice byproduct .

And I do not want to hear anyone say "you shouldn't be asking her that" or "Why the hell are you saying that to her"! If you feel like saying that and you were too stupid not to read the above paragraph, just shut up cause I don't want nor do I need to hear it, Jwhite heard it and he went against the grain and blazed the trail against all criticisms and now look at him.

I will approach 100 chicks whom I find attractive by walking up to her and saying:

Me: Hi, you mind if I ask you a question?
Her: No not at all
Me: are you single?

and take it from there if she says no then say ok and eject.

if yes then say something to the effect of:

"Ok, well I was jsut on my way out when I noticed you, why don't you give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime."

And get the digits.....

This isn't strict and I may build rapport , or have a small convo depnding on the situation (im really good at having convo's just breaking the ice that scares the bejesus out of me).

I will post just about daily I am going to do 100 approaches in 40 days, and I will give you all the nitty gritty on each.

Wish me luck, Carpe Diem


Pugs

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Pre-Day 1 Approach 1

I was In Borders Book store and I saw one chick sitting on the floor reading a book, I stewed in my head about approaching her for fricking 40 mins!!!!!! She got up and finally left and I was like SH*T!!!! I said to myself that I was going to approach a girl come hell or high water. Target spotted, cute, shy (I dig shy, coy chicks) looking brunette, 5'5 Staright hair, about a 7.5.

She walked all over the store and I kept an eye on here where abouts....

Guys I was a FRICKIN WRECK!!!!! I wanted soo badly to approach her and I didnt apply the 3s rule......Guys, no joke I fricken stewed on this in my head for almost an hour (thank god she stayed at the store) I was scared out of my mind, I was soo scared when I got into my car from work about 30 mins from the Bookstore, my heart rate increased significantly cause my mind knew what I was going to have to do tonight and I was already scared driving to the store. Talk about social anxiety!!!!!

I was like F*ck this I had enough of this pansy a55 sh*t, and I literally grabbed my Boys (nutz) and said here we go, after 1 hour of mental ping pong, I walked right up to her and my ears got red (my ears are like mood rings, I get nervous instead of my face blushing my ears light up like santa claus seeing the playmate of the year.) and I said to her:

Me: Excuse me, do you mind if I ask you a question?
her: yeh sure
Me: are you single?

(she turned beat read and said awww)
Her: Awww, no, sorry
Me: (good C+f Line) "Wow, did you put on alot of blush this morning or is it just me" with a **** eating grin on my face.

Her: (Starts to turn more red and starts laughing a whole bunch)
Me: Well I just noticed you when I came in and I wanted to talk to you, it was good meeting you.......
Her: As im getting ready to walk off she kinda stops me and asks me what name is, and I say Pugsley. and she gave me her name and I cannot remember it (Tip there).
Me: (me still laughing a bit ) well it was good meeting you , have a good evening.

My take is she though i was attractive and she was taken, by her actions and the way she answered my questions

Or she was soo put back by my approaching her that she just said No, cause why the hell would she kinda stop me and ask me for my name if she didn't have some sort of interest.

That'll give you all something to think about, I think it was the latter....OH WELL NEEEEEEEXXXXXXTTTTTTT!!!!!

Approaches :1
Numbers: 0
Dates: 0

 

[cannibustacap]

I'd like to see where this goes. I usually never ask if a girl is single at first. I think for me it would seem too weird and out of the blue.

I usually wait for them to give me a clue like eye contact.

Anyway I am looking forward to reading these and I am subscribing to the thread.

 

[Walden]

busta this is a standard approach (is it DYD?) used for guys to practice opening chicks. It's not that bad actually if you suit a direct style but mostly it's used for training.

 

[milkman]

Hey Man, good luck!

Hey [Pause 21..22..] Can I ask you a quick question?

[she responses - yes]

[a LONG pause 21...22...23...24... look like you think about something, be a bit mysterious]

Are you single? [EC!] [don´t ask in an excusatory way, but also not demanding, try out to find a middle way]


20%: Be relax about the situation and confident [but don´t come over like you are too confident or almost arrogant or like it is a routine you do with every 2nd girl you meet] + Body Language

80%: It´s all up to wait and PAUSE between what you say. Never forget: YOU have seen the girl before and you absolutely know what you are doing [you have thought about this for many times] and YOU are the one who acts.

But for the girl, it is a absolutely NEW situation. At the moment you say "hi" she has first to check what is going on. It is very difficult for human beings to deal with this kind of a situation very fast. If you act too fast, there is a big chance of stimulus satiation.
Think about a situation when someone else (and even if it is a very hot women) talks to you out of nowhere. You need some time to realize what is going on, because with your mind you are usually somewhere else and don´t expect a situation like this.

Therefore, PAUSES are your friend, keep the game going on... and not only ask her if she is single, but also test if the hb has a good taste...

 

[smooth666]

Originally posted by Pugsley_f5
Pre-Day 1 Approach 1

I was In Borders Book store and I saw one chick sitting on the floor reading a book, I stewed in my head about approaching her for fricking 40 mins!!!!!! She got up and finally left and I was like SH*T!!!!

LOL

As you said it is important to apply the 3s rule. If you hesitate,they are gone.

BTW, I do not think it is good to ask if she is single...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by smooth666
LOL

As you said it is important to apply the 3s rule. If you hesitate,they are gone.

BTW, I do not think it is good to ask if she is single...

I don't ask either. Maybe that's why I seem to have married women calling me every now and then... Oh well, that's another thread all together....

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Day 1 Approach 2+3

Hey fellas, Just to let you know milkman, that post was EXTREMELY helpful, you break it down like a pro and that little bit of info you gave me will help my success rate tremendously!

I'm still not done with the day today, but so far I have gotten two approaches.....my fear is still there just diminishing a bit, which is good, Im gonna use your pauses ad I think my results will be much better,

MAN IT FEELS SOO GOOD TO BREAK LOOSE OF YOUR FEARS!!!!!

Approach 2:

I was in Barnes and Nobles Bookstore, and I saw this really cute brunette 7.5 sitting in a chairat the end of the aisle reading a book, Very cute, I walked past here and said excuse me and went to the next aisle and then stayed there to wait for the couple on that aisle to clear out (my fear isnt really approaching peeps , its fear of what they think, im working on it I know) so after that couple left I walked back by the girl and said excuse me once again and then said : Hey do you mind if I ask you a question?

Her: Sure Go ahead
Me: are you single? (with no pauses though, she said sure and I responded in normal fashion with that question)
Her: No while blushing and smiling
Me: As I noticed her ring I said " Oh I see" and pointed at it.
Me: well anyways my name is Pugs (as I extended my hand) she gave me her name and I said have a nice day....


Approach 3

4 aisles away 2 mins later, I see another chick who looked to be about a 7.5 and about 20 years old maybe 25, Well when I approached her and she faced me, she looked like a 6, and then she smiled and I didn't know whether to smile at her or kick a field goal (if you dont get it ur dumb). Then she immediatly got downgraded to a 4 or 5 and about 35 years old married, yellow teeth including the teeth situation I said above.


I found all this out after I approached her.
Me: hey, how you doing?
Her: Fine
Me: Hey , you mind if I ask you a question?
Her: Sure
Me: are you single?
Her: Noooo, sorry
Me: You married ?
Her: Yeh with a smile and blush
Me: Well anyways it was good meeting you then
and I walked away though as I walked away she kinoed me on my arm as she was blushing and smiling (good sign)


No number

though I am definatley gonna apply a pause in there

Approaches : 3
Numbers : 0
Dates: 0

 

[Ever onward]

MAN IT FEELS SOO GOOD TO BREAK LOOSE OF YOUR FEARS!!!!!

I know exactly what you mean. Having that feeling is better than hooking up with all the hotties in the world. It's more about you being in control of yourself and your life.

One of these days I need to get off my lazy ass and start approaching again...

onward,

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Day 1 Approach 4

Got up from my pc in the library typing to you all, I saw a REALLY cute asian chick walk past and sit down by herself at a table shes about a 8-8.5.

I got up walked over to her table, and said:


Me: Hey you mind if I ask you a question?

Her: Studying looks up and says "Yeh"
(she had kinda broken english)

Me: with a 1.5 sec pause "are you single"?
Her: in broken english basically told me yes

Me: "Ok, well I was about to head out when I noticed you, why don't you give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime"

Her: I don't think she understood well, and kinda looked puzzled

Me: "Are you an exchange student?"

Her: Yes while she shakes her head

Me: "when are you heading back?"

Her: "Im going back for Xmas, and then at May (in broken english)"

Me: Fumbling for a business card Dangit!!!! for her to write her number on.

Her: she basically told me the best she could that she wasn't looking to date anyone, very hard to understand but i could take a hint.

Me: Ok, well it was a pleasure meeting you anyways then..... Smiled and left.

Even though I didn't get a number and she was hard to understand, she had a shyness and coyness about her that drives me wild!!! She was still a friendly pleasure to talk to.


ON to app 5

Pugs

 

[milkman]

Good work! In the first case, the woman was obviously married and in the second case, chances are good, she was really married, too. So, it was not up to you.

See it this way: why wasting time with her, when you find out 3 dates later that her husband cares so good about her 3 children (two are twins...).

You have done your homework and soon you WILL succeed. (Indeed, you have already succeed by doing the approaches). A woman usally has to wait, but a man can act by himself. If you keep on acting, the future is yours.

Again: good work!

 

[milkman]

Re: Day 1 Approach 4

You approach faster than I can answer your post...

Originally posted by Pugsley_f5
(she had kinda broken english)

I absolutely know how she feels...

Originally posted by Pugsley_f5
Me: with a 1.5 sec pause "are you single"?
Her: in broken english basically told me yes

Me: "Ok, well I was about to head out when I noticed you, why don't you give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime"

Her: I don't think she understood well, and kinda looked puzzled

Me: "Are you an exchange student?"

Try another trick: ALWAYS (!) when you say something like "why don't you give me your number" give her IMMEDIATELY a pen and a piece of paper to write it down (actually, make it like you search for something to write, you can also "find" a pen in your pocket and ask her if she has some paper... if she has not, you will finally "find" something like a receipt in your pocket, too, to give her the chance to write her number down. By this, it appears more naturally and not like you are "well-prepared, you have everything with you to do the approach and you know exacly what to say").

>> Actually don´t really ASK her for the number, instead mention that she can give you her number and ASSUME that she will give it to you. If you give her something to write at the same time by saying this, it is much more difficult for her to deny your offer (of course, she can give you a wrong numer, but that´s no big deal and you need only little time to find out). Psychologically, it is something absolutely different, if you ASK a woman, if you can have the number or if you give her something to write and SAY her to write her number down. In the first case, she has to decide, if she should give you her number and also sometimes by doing this a women fells like she would already give you an offer to anything (I am single, yes, I DECIDE, I´ll give you my number... so, actually, it seems, like you have already won me...). Best way: don´t let a woman think too much, instead decide for her in her interest.

Giving her something to write and tell her to write her number down, is a totally other situation. It´s like "he tells me to write my number down, okay, I am not unpoilte, I´ll do. Nothing there, I have promised to this foreigner. (Afterwars, before your call, she will have enough time to think about, if she really wants a coversation with you). If she already has your pen in the hand and a piece of paper is lying in front of her, she usually will not deny your order to write her number down, if there is at least a spark of interest from her side.

Optionally, after she has written the number, you can have a look at it and say something like "Ah it´s your cell phone number, give me your home phone numbe, too" or while she is writing "and give me your email, too" (but in this case, when you already have a phone number, use this, instead of writing an email). I think, everyone has to test, if that works for him. I think, it often works well, because it shows, that you are "not TOTALLY happy to have a phone number", it´s not something very exciting to have a girls number, no big deal. Also, by this, you are a little bit challenging. Even if it sounds funny, it´s maybe a bit like the woman thinks for herself, she has already "invested" more in the "relationship" to you by giving you more infos. And the more a woman invest, the easier it is for us later on.

milkman

 

[Panda 2000]

Great work, mad props out to you Pugsley, and to you too milkman, really great advice.

 

[Mr. Delicious]

Originally posted by Pugsley_f5
Pre-Day 1 Approach
I was like F*ck this I had enough of this pansy a55 sh*t, and I literally grabbed my Boys (nutz) and said here we go,

She didnt see you grab your balls and talk to them did she. Maybe thats why you got a rejection

Anyway these are awesome to read. You have more guts than me man and these approaches are great. The only thing I would say is why not build some rapport with the girl before asking if she is single?

 

[Marko]

Pugsley, good on you! I recently did a bunch of forced approaches (though not 100) just as a confidence builder. It does lead to another problem though: I'm far more nervous when I have to call this girl later than when I'm approaching for the first time. With an approach you can just say "well I'll never see her again, no big deal" but with the call you're trying to see her again - now THAT's stressful!

Good luck man.

 

[milkman]

Originally posted by Marko
...I'm far more nervous when I have to call this girl later ...the call you're trying to see her again - now THAT's stressful! Good luck man.

Dude, that is POSITIVE stress. Nothing unhealthy, quite the contrary. The only problem is, the more often you will practice it, the less stressfull it becomes. Then do something else: try free climbing...

 

[Bile]

how's it going with the aproaches....???
really nice work...
I was kinda thinkin about somethin like this to try out,
but my aproach would sound somethin more like this:

me: hi!!
her:hi!
me: mind if i ask you two things???
her: no, what??
mene, whats your name, and second, are u free at friday??

Im oughta try this out at a really nice hottie(maybe even a 10, but thats just self judged)
I have seen at the bus.

what are u thinkin about this one...??
btw to those who read my other post. yes Im kinda cross-workin
this one...second I need somethin to do if it turns out the girl i wanna dated dont wanna date me (checkout the post "rejected, should I ask her again?" if you dont understand)
thanks for a gr8 post...

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Day 1 Cont. Approach 4

Hey fellas, This is an approach I made last night on Day 1, I was in Borders booktore and I had seen/been given cues by 3 or 4 different girls and I just failed to act and choked with them.....Then after screwing around I finally said, "I'm not leaving here until I get a approach".

I saw a chick, brunette HB8, really cute, at first I was really hesitant about approaching her cause she *seemed* to be giving me what I thought was "no" buying signals.....like for instance I would get with two aisles of her and she would go to another aisle several times, I was very discreet about it.....but in fact what I thought was "no" buying signals was just my mind playing games with me to not approach her....and I figured "I don't care if they were no buying signals, im gonna approch her anyways cause I'm getting one more approach in b4 I go home.......Guys I once again did not use the 3s rule, and It took me about 30 mins of delegating to approach her, man I was nervous as hell......I didn't care if I got a number cause I figured I wasn't going to, cause I *thought* all those signals were negative buying signlas and I was just pushing a limp noodle doing this.....


After 30 mins I approached her, she was sitting down in a chair reading, I made NO EC the whole time with her in the store....I walked up to her and said:

Me: Hey how you doing?

Her: Good and you?

Me: Im awesome, hey you mind if I ask you a question?

Her: Sure

Me: 1...2....3 secs, Are you single?

Her: She smiles takes off her glasses and looks at me without them (reading glasses) and she starts blushing and says with a "I ate the tweety bird" type tone of voice "Yessssssss?"

Me: Ok well I was just about to head out of here, why don't you give me your number and i'll give you a call sometime?

Her: How bout you give me yours? (with a smile and blush)

Me: Well I don't just give out my number to just anybody, but how bout we exchange numbers?

Her: ok

Me: I brought out a business card and turned it over and gave it to her with my pen and she wrote down her number.

Me: I looked at the card and her name was very unfamiliar to me, and I asked "What's your name?" cause I wasn't sure how to say it.....

Her: My name is Su....

Me: Really? (curiously said) What origin is your name?

Her: I'm Half Lebanese, half greek......(she looked 100% caucasian to me but both of those cultures are fair skinned anyways)

Me: Really!? That's interesting.....You go to school around here?

Her: Yeh I go to UNCG...

Me: Really? What's your major?

Her: Political science...

Me: Thats pretty cool, I actually used to go to UNCG...I was a Exercise and Sport's science major....

Her: Really!? (said with an excitement in her voice)

Me:Yep, I am originally from Md and moved down here to go to UNCG.....

Her: Thats pretty cool.....you like it down here?

Me: I started writing down my number and answered "Yeh it's just like home for me down here, I love it."

Her: As I was writing said "Don't be alarmed when you call if you get the answering machine and here a guy's voice on the answering machine thats my little brother."

Me: Ok sure.....as I was about to leave she asked

Her: Whats your name? (I forgot to tell her) My name is Chris and gave her the business card and shook hands.

Me: It was nice meeting you Su....maybe i'll give you a call sometime....and I touched her arm as I walked away....

She had a gorgeous smile and was smiling the whole time we were talking and I think i picked up on several good interest signs along in the convo , see if you all can catch them........

This just goes to show you that if you feel really strongly and ur mind is telling you to do it without sufficient evidence to back it up, DO IT! Cause my conscious was wrong this time.......and will be wrong in many cases.....

Guys when I walked outside to my car, I was soo fricking glad I approached, I just started laughing out loud for no reason as loud as I could, nothing was funny, it was just soo amazed that i actually did it, and It was like 1 million lbs got lifted off of my shoulders and I was just soo relieved.

This chick was a def 8 in my book and it just goes to show you that looks don't mean squat, if your confident enough thats all that matters.....im 5'11 270+ 23-24% BF, nothing to write home about and I think of myself as attractive but in no ways anything special, don't believe me heres my pic, just your average above average guy who knows how to be confident and dress good.....


http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=BMNQNUN&key=RJG

NOW quit using your looks as a crutch and go out and get some numbers!!!!!

Pugs

 

[Mr. Delicious]

Let me be the first to say congratulations on your first cold approach number close. Now get some more approaches in and let us know how it goes with that chick.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Hi Pug

I'm enjoying reading this.
Just doing these approaches, your way a head of 99% of the guys on this site.

I admire your courage.

Keep up the good work, win or lose your an inspiration to a lot of guys here.

Helter