PU is not enhancing my life

[Playboy]

I got into this over 2 years ago with visions of sugarplums dancing through my head, or at least tits.

I had just broke off my engagement to a girl that was better looking than anything that I thought I would have. The community gave me hope that someday maybe I could be involved with even hotter women, or become like some of my friends that I always thought just had some look that women went for -- guys who would seem to constantly have women flocking to them.

Unfortuantely things just have not panned out that way. The only thing I really can say I have gained after over 2 years of this is the ability to push my comfort zone more. I have had some fun adventures with strange women and can carry on some interesting conversations sure, but I consider myself nothing more than a bar fly at the end of the day.

Basically I am usually one of the older guys in the bar, all my friends are either married or moved away, my social group deteriated. Once in a while I meet someone I know out at the bars but for the most part when I look at my life I wonder if this is worth continuing to pursue.

I am nothing more than a bar fly. I go to the bars, I usually drink too much, sometimes I have a lot of fun conversations and then I go home. My life isn't any better because of this. I dont see it leading to anything at this point -- except a lifetime of bars and drinking. What am I really accomplishing here? Even when I do end up pulling a girl (If I can fight off all the amogs, ***** shields, logistical issues, and skeptical tests that get thrown at me) its a night of sex (if things go well) with some girl I barely know based on some persona that others tell me I should have to come off "attractive" and then I have to start over again the next day.

This post is negative and Im sure some of you wont like it because it spits in many of your faces, but understand this is my own life and not yours, its my perception of my life. I feel like this is not the answer to getting the things that the marketing for the mystery method or whatever other hot method offres. I am starting to feel like the only way I can get what I want out of life is to succeed in things that have very little to do with going to bars to drink and try to get girls I barely know to go back to my house for some sex. Anyways any thoughts are welcome.

 

[ChrizZ]

I got into this over 2 years ago with visions of sugarplums dancing through my head, or at least tits.

I had just broke off my engagement to a girl that was better looking than anything that I thought I would have. The community gave me hope that someday maybe I could be involved with even hotter women, or become like some of my friends that I always thought just had some look that women went for -- guys who would seem to constantly have women flocking to them.

Unfortuantely things just have not panned out that way. The only thing I really can say I have gained after over 2 years of this is the ability to push my comfort zone more. I have had some fun adventures with strange women and can carry on some interesting conversations sure, but I consider myself nothing more than a bar fly at the end of the day.

Basically I am usually one of the older guys in the bar, all my friends are either married or moved away, my social group deteriated. Once in a while I meet someone I know out at the bars but for the most part when I look at my life I wonder if this is worth continuing to pursue.

I am nothing more than a bar fly. I go to the bars, I usually drink too much, sometimes I have a lot of fun conversations and then I go home. My life isn't any better because of this. I dont see it leading to anything at this point -- except a lifetime of bars and drinking. What am I really accomplishing here? Even when I do end up pulling a girl (If I can fight off all the amogs, ***** shields, logistical issues, and skeptical tests that get thrown at me) its a night of sex (if things go well) with some girl I barely know based on some persona that others tell me I should have to come off "attractive" and then I have to start over again the next day.

This post is negative and Im sure some of you wont like it because it spits in many of your faces, but understand this is my own life and not yours, its my perception of my life. I feel like this is not the answer to getting the things that the marketing for the mystery method or whatever other hot method offres. I am starting to feel like the only way I can get what I want out of life is to succeed in things that have very little to do with going to bars to drink and try to get girls I barely know to go back to my house for some sex. Anyways any thoughts are welcome.

That's not game.

So how many thousands of approaches have you done so far to get game?

 

[j0n024]

...no that doesnt matter I think he finally realizes that "Gaming" on women shouldn't be your WHOLE livelihood. I found out that a while ago and just try to have fun at whatever I do, albeit I do actively seek out women to talk to but I try to have fun while I do that. I think you should get a hobby do something fun...scuba dive, sky dive..hell go to Alaska! Those are the type of things I wanna do one day and I'm doing my best to do those things, do you think I will care if women are at these things....NO! I am doing something I love and that is everything I need, good luck I know it sounds like something you always here about getting a hobby but i does help good luck.

 

[Tookie]

Yeah with jon guy, just find something you love take a break for women man enjoy life do what makes you happy and I mean what truly makes you happy not some fake sub like drugs.

 

[Phyzzle]

Even when I do end up pulling a girl (If I can fight off all the amogs, ***** shields, logistical issues, and skeptical tests that get thrown at me) its a night of sex (if things go well) with some girl I barely know based on some persona that others tell me I should have to come off "attractive" and then I have to start over again the next day.

You know, you don't have to have a night of sex with a girl the very same night you meet her. And you don't have to start over with some other girl: just call the same one up again. I'm just sayin'.

 

[Playboy]

I'm just saying that if I look at my life and I look at myself 5 years from now, all I see if I keep doing what I am doing right now is an aging middle aged bar fly dude. I just dont see my life getting better because of PU. I had visions of wild times, orgies, and all the other stuff that people like Style and Mystery and Tyler all cram down your throats as to what their lifestyle is but I don't see it. What I see is a glory story here and there once in a while and that's just not worth throwing my life away to the bars so I can try to get girls. Most common I leave frustrated because I can make them attracted, I can get them to like me -- and thats still not enough.

Maybe it's the fact I live in a sheltered town in the middle of nowhere, but I feel like the results I am getting out of this really are not making my life better, all it's really doing is giving me a lot of shallow social experiences .. albeit some of those blossom into more and there are connections here and there .. but that potential has always been there for me, its just what comes with talking to people.

In the end I just dont see the consistant lifestyle changes that other guys report, you know the guys who stand to gain financially by getting people to believe that pickup will make all their wildest dreams come true.

 

[ChrizZ]

I'm just saying that if I look at my life and I look at myself 5 years from now, all I see if I keep doing what I am doing right now is an aging middle aged bar fly dude. I just dont see my life getting better because of PU. I had visions of wild times, orgies, and all the other stuff that people like Style and Mystery and Tyler all cram down your throats as to what their lifestyle is but I don't see it. What I see is a glory story here and there once in a while and that's just not worth throwing my life away to the bars so I can try to get girls. Most common I leave frustrated because I can make them attracted, I can get them to like me -- and thats still not enough.

Maybe it's the fact I live in a sheltered town in the middle of nowhere, but I feel like the results I am getting out of this really are not making my life better, all it's really doing is giving me a lot of shallow social experiences .. albeit some of those blossom into more and there are connections here and there .. but that potential has always been there for me, its just what comes with talking to people.

In the end I just dont see the consistant lifestyle changes that other guys report, you know the guys who stand to gain financially by getting people to believe that pickup will make all their wildest dreams come true.

1. How old are you?

2. How many thousands of approaches have you done?

3. How do you usually approach? Give a detailed example.



It all boils down to the most important question there is:

What steps have you actually taken to enhance your life?

I get the idea that you worry too much about your problems instead of solutions.

 

[Playboy]

1. How old are you?

2. How many thousands of approaches have you done?

3. How do you usually approach? Give a detailed example.



It all boils down to the most important question there is:

What steps have you actually taken to enhance your life?

I get the idea that you worry too much about your problems instead of solutions.

I am 29 and spent most of my 20's in relationships with women, but over the past 2 years (since the community) have not had a girlfriend nor been interested in one.

Its hard to know how many approaches I have done but it is over 1000. A lot of them I do tend to eject though, regardless of the circumstance so that number is not all quality approaches. Basically I have done an average of 20 approaches a week for about 2 years.

How do I "usually" approach? Well thats tough to quantify. USUALLY i will approach with something situational, definately not very many approaches are direct and most approaches never really get around to being direct. Most of my approaches have been indirect where I display my personality but my personality display is mostly that of short DHVs in the form of natural statements, observation, or a fun personality. Other things I tend to do is teasing, being mysterious, being counter intuitive ect. I would call myself a BT spiking junkie which is something I am working on now. I can say that if a girl is not dead set on casting me into chodeland for the mere act of saying anything to her (and then not giving me any chance what so ever) that I usually will get some form of interest and attraction from the girl.

Basically I would say that at least 1-3 times a week I always come away feeling like I could have done more with what I was given. There are always situations that present themselves to me where I have over a 50 percent chance of meeting a new person and bringing them into my life in some form, but I usually find myself very shell shocked by bar environments, even though I have been in them all my life, I find the ***** shields and personas to be enough to keep me timid about aggresively going for a close. When I do close it tends to be because the girl makes it easy for me to do so, or because I have generated enough attraction that it is clear that the woman is interested. Unfortunately I blow a lot of these interactions by continuously feeling the need to spike BT.

So please understand that I am by no means perfect in my approach but I am starting to feel like no matter what I do, its just damn hard to get a situation where strangers turn into friends. When I do succeed at most, strangers turn into short term flings or ONS. I spend most of my time talking to women in bars and I feel like this might be very relevant to my situation but where I live there is not much alternative. I just wonder if the secret to becoming more successful socially may lie more in other realms outside of the traditional idea of going out with a method to pick up chicks in bars and clubs.

 

[LostAndConfused]

At least you had a girl. Say it isn't enhancing your life when you've done many approaches, can't find what you've done wrong, and never succeeded at all with a girl.

 

[Master Bates]

Sounds like you need a life adjustment. Maybe move to a more dynamic area/city and stop being a bar fly? Just a thought.

 

[Nygard]

Hey, brother, do you have any ambitions or dreams? Dont you have somethign you're really dying to do? Why dont you try it? It seems like you lost your "north". Try getting by on track by trying to acomplish those dreams.
If you dont have any, you should ask a psycologist about depression.

 

[ChrizZ]

I am 29 and spent most of my 20's in relationships with women, but over the past 2 years (since the community) have not had a girlfriend nor been interested in one.

Its hard to know how many approaches I have done but it is over 1000. A lot of them I do tend to eject though, regardless of the circumstance so that number is not all quality approaches.

why do you eject so early?

Basically I have done an average of 20 approaches a week for about 2 years.

good

How do I "usually" approach? Well thats tough to quantify. USUALLY i will approach with something situational, definately not very many approaches are direct and most approaches never really get around to being direct. Most of my approaches have been indirect where I display my personality but my personality display is mostly that of short DHVs in the form of natural statements, observation, or a fun personality. Other things I tend to do is teasing, being mysterious, being counter intuitive ect. I would call myself a BT spiking junkie which is something I am working on now. I can say that if a girl is not dead set on casting me into chodeland for the mere act of saying anything to her (and then not giving me any chance what so ever) that I usually will get some form of interest and attraction from the girl.

so why don't you take it any further?

Basically I would say that at least 1-3 times a week I always come away feeling like I could have done more with what I was given. There are always situations that present themselves to me where I have over a 50 percent chance of meeting a new person and bringing them into my life in some form, but I usually find myself very shell shocked by bar environments, even though I have been in them all my life,

I find the ***** shields and personas to be enough to keep me timid about aggresively going for a close.

the only reason they give you ***** shields is because they feel threatened or creeped outl

When I do close it tends to be because the girl makes it easy for me to do so, or because I have generated enough attraction that it is clear that the woman is interested. Unfortunately I blow a lot of these interactions by continuously feeling the need to spike BT.

So please understand that I am by no means perfect in my approach but I am starting to feel like no matter what I do, its just damn hard to get a situation where strangers turn into friends. When I do succeed at most, strangers turn into short term flings or ONS. I spend most of my time talking to women in bars and I feel like this might be very relevant to my situation but where I live there is not much alternative. I just wonder if the secret to becoming more successful socially may lie more in other realms outside of the traditional idea of going out with a method to pick up chicks in bars and clubs.

here is what I suggest.

Create a lifestyle that YOU enjoy and that includes women.

I believe the reason you don't have the success you want might be because

a) your appearance is not good enough.

b) your body language shows that you are intimidated by the whole bar/club environment.

c) the material you use is not good.


post a pic of yourself or message me if you feel more comfortable that way.

 

[Playboy]

Hey, brother, do you have any ambitions or dreams? Dont you have somethign you're really dying to do? Why dont you try it? It seems like you lost your "north". Try getting by on track by trying to acomplish those dreams.
If you dont have any, you should ask a psycologist about depression.

You know I have lost my north. Ever since my engagement failed the only thing I have cared about is trying to live a lifestyle similar to what these fabled guru's claim to live ... what kept me going was the idea that I could become this player with all kinds of women in my life and be able to walk into any place and make friends and become a social hub ... I guess I was trying to recapture the good old days ... but maybe I just need to accept that getting women and friends isnt a science, that all you can really do is build a life that you can be happy for in and of itself, for yourself -- not for others -- and then just keep the faith that things will happen for you if you let them, and if your happy for what you do have.

 

[Phyzzle]

Maybe it's the fact I live in a sheltered town in the middle of nowhere

Yeah! That would make a huge difference.

This is going to sound simplistic, but the reason you aren't happy is you don't have the comraderie. Your town doesn't have a lair, and it doesn't sound like you have a crew of wingmen who are your friends. What fun is any game if you're playing it alone for a few years?

In fact, I don't see how you got 1000 approaches in without running into the same girls quite often. There certainly aren't more than 5000 young adult women where I live, and probably less than 2000 go out with any regularity.

Any successful PUA, including the ones on this site, lived in the NY/Philly/Boston corridor, Florida, or the Bay Area. There aren't any gurus running workshops in Nantucket, because a lot of the advanced stuff doesn't apply there.

 

[Playboy]

here is what I suggest.

Create a lifestyle that YOU enjoy and that includes women.

I believe the reason you don't have the success you want might be because

a) your appearance is not good enough.

b) your body language shows that you are intimidated by the whole bar/club environment.

c) the material you use is not good.


post a pic of yourself or message me if you feel more comfortable that way.

Honestly I don't mean to sound dismissive, but I really don't think it's any of those things. I dont have a hard time attracting women when I go out, it's just that it often doesnt go anywhere or is distrupted.

The material part could be it, but I use very mainstream community game, so that would mean that there are a lot of people that are wrong, or maybe misapplying stuff.

 

[Playboy]

Yeah! That would make a huge difference.

This is going to sound simplistic, but the reason you aren't happy is you don't have the comraderie. Your town doesn't have a lair, and it doesn't sound like you have a crew of wingmen who are your friends. What fun is any game if you're playing it alone for a few years?

In fact, I don't see how you got 1000 approaches in without running into the same girls quite often. There certainly aren't more than 5000 young adult women where I live, and probably less than 2000 go out with any regularity.

Any successful PUA, including the ones on this site, lived in the NY/Philly/Boston corridor, Florida, or the Bay Area. There aren't any gurus running workshops in Nantucket, because a lot of the advanced stuff doesn't apply there.

It definately would be a tremendous help to be surrounded by guys on the same mission. I usually dont live in this town, and whenever I get out of this town I have a blast. I have lived in places with wings and it is definately better. This is a huge thing that I believe plays into this big time, I have a lack of social support, which is why I post here because I need that support.

To move purely for PU purposes though, that seems a bit weird ... however i still would be much happier in a city and am looking to move. I still feel there is something holding back my success though, and I think it is deep level identity change and a lack of focus on things that are more important to happyness, like a career, involvement in the community, a solid social circle (lost most of mine during engagement and lots of friends are married) and other lifestyle type things. Going to the bar a couple times a week (often by myself as my friends are married or past the bar stage) is not helping to cure these problems and is only giving me a handful of chances every week to have sex or meet someone new to share time with. Usually I end up blowing it by overplaying my need to spike BT or just not taking a chance when an oppurtunity presents itself ... like self sabotage almost.

For instance last night a girl got in my cab, said to her friend I was hot and that she wishes she could get my number. I pretended not to hear.

I had a stripper who was all over me following me around on another night this week. She was kissing me and telling me she liked me. I just kept spiking BT. It's like when I get my shot, I am in denial.

 

[Nygard]

Yep brother. It's not a science. All people are kind of different and react differently . Havent you thought about visiting other countries? My life changed drastically when I went to Los Angeles and lived there for 6 months. Have you ever dreamed of knowing the whole world?
Have you read "the Game" by Neil Strauss? Did you read that some of them wanted to die, partly because the center of their world was women and game? Maybe you should focus on some other dreams you have.
Travel, meet other people in the outside world, Lead, and men will follow. Women will go right behind.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

I got into this over 2 years ago with visions of sugarplums dancing through my head, or at least tits.

I had just broke off my engagement to a girl that was better looking than anything that I thought I would have. The community gave me hope that someday maybe I could be involved with even hotter women, or become like some of my friends that I always thought just had some look that women went for -- guys who would seem to constantly have women flocking to them.

You broke off the engagement? Why?

 

[meitenesrigas]

That's not game.

So how many thousands of approaches have you done so far to get game?

Thousands of approaches??? So this is how you spend all of your free time?

Here is a hint to all you little boys. Those "DJ gurus" that you adore are more interested in making money than getting females. Remember that. Ask them what their jobs are these days.

 

[ChrizZ]

Thousands of approaches??? So this is how you spend all of your free time?

Here is a hint to all you little boys. Those "DJ gurus" that you adore are more interested in making money than getting females. Remember that. Ask them what their jobs are these days.

I don't give a sh!t if they are in it for the money or not.

Fact is that the system works provided you put in the required effort.

As far as I know we only have one life. Might as well master the most important skill there is besides making money.