PU is not enhancing my life

[Phyzzle]

Playboy, check out this thread. It's long, but it's so much like you, it's eery.

This guy was successful in his own way. He could sometimes make out with girls in clubs, but he had a huge issue with backing out at the last second, and usually not even getting a girls #.

 

[Playboy]

You broke off the engagement? Why?

This is a common misconception in the community, I believe it's because the community is mostly filled with guys who have had a lack of success with women. I am more rare because I have had success, just not the kind of success that some of my friends have. I see the consistant success they get and i feel like I should be able to have that same success, it doesnt seem like they work that hard for it. I have high aspirations because of this. I know many guys who on any given night can pull. I know a guy who pulled 30 girls as many days. I have a best friend who ALWAYS has a hot chick on his **** -- ALWAYS. I have a good buddy who has pulled the last 2 times I have gone out with him. This is the standards I am trying to live up to and it is leaving me frustrated. I feel like the time is ticking, but I know that I really dont have my life together ... so even when I have shots at success something inside of me wants to sabotage it because I feel like my life is a brick wall preventing any good to come from mastering this skill.

Anyways

Guys look at someone like me who was with an in shape girl who was good looking and broke off the engagement and they dont get it. You see they idolize women to such a degree ... just to have a woman willing to spend their time with him seems like it would be the answer to all their problems -- trust me ... its not. Once you bring someone else into your world and you get to know them and the novelty wears off -- then the real challenges begin. You think game is hard? Try a serious relationship.

 

[collalife]

the answer is what style said,"always have something better to do than sarging women," sarging is a glorified hobby not a life. drinking is a drug that ruins people if you become a chronic drunk. my suggestion is build a life outside the community with something youve always dreamed of ie vacation,dreamjob,etc.you should take a short break from sarging and sarge occasionally to keep your mind fresh. last but not least go without liquor when you sarge.

-nova

 

[DonGorgon]

Once you bring someone else into your world and you get to know them and the novelty wears off -- then the real challenges begin. You think game is hard? Try a serious relationship.

This part is soo true...

Dude, i can fully empathize with you on everything you are going through... I am in the exact same situation... I was in an 8 year relationship that I let go of cause i had many complex issues... So I reentered the bar/club scene... Everything you mentioned applies to me as far as the shallow short lived interactions the one night sex etc.

I have some friends but only cause they also are trapped in the club/bar scene like me. I have had some fun wild times but now i am stuck cause I have scene so much of the decadent side of social lives that I dont believe true meaningful relationships are possible anymore...

Being a PU or DJ is not my main focus but being 30 and single really leaves you in a tough spot socially.. Its like we are too old for the young hip crowd and too young for the old timers... I guess these are the years we are supposed to spend ion our first marriage then divorce in time for mid life!? I dont know but it if frustrating.

 

[izza]

You know I have lost my north. Ever since my engagement failed the only thing I have cared about is trying to live a lifestyle similar to what these fabled guru's claim to live ... what kept me going was the idea that I could become this player with all kinds of women in my life and be able to walk into any place and make friends and become a social hub ... I guess I was trying to recapture the good old days ... but maybe I just need to accept that getting women and friends isnt a science, that all you can really do is build a life that you can be happy for in and of itself, for yourself -- not for others -- and then just keep the faith that things will happen for you if you let them, and if your happy for what you do have.

I wouldn't be surprised if you're living a life pretty similar to theirs. Personally, I don't really want their life and Mystery, Style, Tyler don't strike me as truly happy people.

It sounds like you've found what you need to find from the bar life. Maybe take up racketball?

Izza

 

[SinJester]

I wouldn't be surprised if you're living a life pretty similar to theirs. Personally, I don't really want their life and Mystery, Style, Tyler don't strike me as truly happy people.

It sounds like you've found what you need to find from the bar life. Maybe take up racketball?

Izza

Mystery? Hell no. Style? No idea. Tyler these days, he seems very happy to me...

 

[ketostix]

You know I have lost my north. Ever since my engagement failed the only thing I have cared about is trying to live a lifestyle similar to what these fabled guru's claim to live ... what kept me going was the idea that I could become this player with all kinds of women in my life and be able to walk into any place and make friends and become a social hub ... I guess I was trying to recapture the good old days ... but maybe I just need to accept that getting women and friends isnt a science, that all you can really do is build a life that you can be happy for in and of itself, for yourself -- not for others -- and then just keep the faith that things will happen for you if you let them, and if your happy for what you do have.

Playboy, I know where you are coming from. My suggestion is to cut back on using bars for PU and substitute PU in other places. I also think you said a mouthful when you said it's not a science. You can have too many of these PU ideas get ingrained in your mind that really don't help you and may even hinder truely progressing as a person. It is common to fall in the trap of trying to get any and every girl to have sex and trying to impress or attract her. When it would probably be more beneficial to have the mindset of finding a girl that you are really attracted to and qualifying her potential to benefit you in ways beyond just sex.