Provider Male vs. Alpha??

[The Duke]

This is a story about a guy I know and a woman playing two different men.

My friend John is a a mid 40's doctor. He has plenty of money, good shape, nice place, nice cars, not a push over, been with less than 7 women, mostly long term relationships, so there is a lot he doesn't know.

John has a girlfriend as well as a side chic he had a kid with. The side chic is mid 30's and married to a guy in his mid 50's. We will call this guy Beta Bob the provider.

Beta Bob willingly accepted my buddy Johns bastard child and has raised my friends kid as his own. My friend wants nothing to do with the kid, although he provides cash.

You would have thought side chic would have stopped fuhking my friend John after the kid was born. Guess what? A few years later She is bored with Beta Bob, he doesn't generate tingles, never has and she is now fuhking John again.

I think all 3 have issues. I have fault with all of them.

 

[pipeman84]

I think all 3 have issues.

100%.
The one you called alpha isn't really one, he's also a beta provider.

My friend wants nothing to do with the kid, although he provides cash.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I think all 3 have issues. I have fault with all of them.

As you should. None of these people sound like an ethical person with integrity.

PS. The Greek alphabet designations are cringe. Not only is the whole Alpha thing debunked by the scientist who came up with that misnomer, but it's also moronic incel speak. Just like the 'rating' of women, which tends to judge only superficial 'beauty'. A man shouldn't be so eager to pigeonhole other people.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

The alpha/beta thing is a false dichotomy. Really this just sounds like a mess. Yes the woman is triangulating and playing them.

This is why you wear a rubber and also why you keep your woman on her toes.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

That's the definition of alpha creates desire in women, you think cause he has money is a provider? So you have to be broke, full of tattoos, a drug dealer to be alpha? Wrong.

I think he referred to:

Beta Bob willingly accepted my buddy Johns bastard child and has raised my friends kid as his own. My friend wants nothing to do with the kid, although he provides cash.

I didn't know you still believed in the Legend of the Alpha, Gainz.
Providers do exist, but that doesn't make absent baby daddies the desirable hunk.

 

[CornbreadFed]

PS. The Greek alphabet designations are cringe. Not only is the whole Alpha thing debunked by the scientist who came up with that misnomer, but it's also moronic incel speak. Just like the 'rating' of women, which tends to judge only superficial 'beauty'. A man shouldn't be so eager to pigeonhole other people.

Facts! If the manosphere wants to gain ounce of credibility, it needs to drop these terms from its vocabulary ASAP for starts.

I can find a bum hood rat that would be considered “alpha” while manosphere would label productive guys of society like a Doctor more focused on his career and a stable mom over or actual leaders like Russell Wilson & Tom Brady “Betas”. At the end of the day, it is cope for guys at the bottom ring of society.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Alpha and Beta are abstract concepts, Alpha are a characteristics that cause desire in women, Beta are characteristics that cause comfort.

The Doctor in good shape causes desire, the Doctor who is fat, pushover , validation seeking, feminized and has money causes comfort. Doesn't mean alpha is good and beta is bad, its just how desireable the person is to women.

I disagree, most women are trash and toxic so if a guy naturally attracts toxic and trashy women then that does not make him an alpha.

 

[EyeBRollin]

They are not mutually exclusive.

An alpha should be a provider male. That is our biological imperative. There is nothing “beta” about protecting and providing for one’s biological offspring.

Stepchildren are a different story. We know what happens to bastard children of another male in the animal kingdom….

 

[Glassguy]

They are not mutually exclusive.

An alpha should be a provider male. That is our biological imperative. There is nothing “beta” about protecting and providing for one’s biological offspring.

Stepchildren are a different story. We know what happens to bastard children of another male in the animal kingdom….

Agreed. Alphas are leaders and as a leader, there is some providing.

The biggest difference I see in alpha men (that causes desire) and beta men (comfort) is the alpha men have many options and firm boundaries. Beta men typically do not. Strong frame vs weak frame.
An alpha male can provide for his kids and family but also send the woman flying to the curb if she is lying, cheating or very disrespectful. Having the options and abundance mindset makes doing that much, much easier.

I also think there are men that can create both desire and comfort. But they still have very high self esteem and strong boundaries.

Good post

 

[RickTheToad]

Why's always picking on a Bob.

 

[zekko]

The alpha/beta thing is a false dichotomy.

I've always said it's mainly useful as a teaching tool, not for labeling people in real life.
The main problem I have with the "Provider" tag is that a lot of guys will dismiss anyone who is successful as "Beta Provider". A man should aim to be successful, for himself, it will enrich his life greatly, forget the women for a moment.

 

[The Duke]

To add to the conversation,

Women ALWAYS come back, don’t worry about it

Almost every chic I've ever been serious with has wanted to come back at some point. I have been a gigantic dihk to all of them, but they have always respected me when the smoke settled. It amazes me how resilient women can be when they recognize your value.

That respect develops because of firm boundaries, high self esteem, self-respect, leadership, etc that @Glassguy mentioned. Few guys have it.

They all want a rock.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

I've always said it's mainly useful as a teaching tool, not for labeling people in real life.
The main problem I have with the "Provider" tag is that a lot of guys will dismiss anyone who is successful as "Beta Provider". A man should aim to be successful, for himself, it will enrich his life greatly, forget the women for a moment.

Exacy. a lot of "alpha" types have money and provide.

The religious refer to the providence of God. I guess God is a beta...?

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Nah, he's aloof as f*ck so he's good.

Again though, Alpha and Beta are not archetypes, they are categories of behavioral traits which women find either attractive or comforting. Neither of these are bad, they just need to be calibrated.

Yeah it's all contextual, suffice to say be true to thy self and don't worry about it. No one is "alpha" because a chick says so.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

This is a story about a guy I know and a woman playing two different men.

My friend John is a a mid 40's doctor. He has plenty of money, good shape, nice place, nice cars, not a push over, been with less than 7 women, mostly long term relationships, so there is a lot he doesn't know.

John has a girlfriend as well as a side chic he had a kid with. The side chic is mid 30's and married to a guy in his mid 50's. We will call this guy Beta Bob the provider.

Beta Bob willingly accepted my buddy Johns bastard child and has raised my friends kid as his own. My friend wants nothing to do with the kid, although he provides cash.

You would have thought side chic would have stopped fuhking my friend John after the kid was born. Guess what? A few years later She is bored with Beta Bob, he doesn't generate tingles, never has and she is now fuhking John again.

I think all 3 have issues. I have fault with all of them.

Beta Bob should introduce John the Dentist to Mac Ten and the Steel Dildo.

 

[SW15]

There are 2 beta males here. There's a Greater Beta and a Lesser Beta.

John the mid-40s doctor is a beta male. He's a Greater Beta. He uses money to get laid. Without the money and status of being a doctor, he would likely be an Average Frustrated Chump who could be borderline incel. John is at least in good shape and not a pushover but he mainly gets laid from money and status rather than purely on looks.

The Lesser Beta is Beta Bob, who is married to John's side piece who John impregnated in the past.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

He uses money to get laid. Without the money and status of being a doctor, he would likely be an Average Frustrated Chump who could be borderline incel.

And you know this because you know @The Duke and his friends? Or are you just speculating (again)?

 

[SW15]

Hahahaha bro wtf are you even saying, you don't eve know how he looks. Maybe his definition of "great shape" is a ripped guy.

How do you know he uses his status as Doctor to get laid? He goes around with his stethoscope around his neck to get chicks? How did you figure all of that $hit out with a simple post? Sometimes the mental gymnastics that you do is incredible.

He used the phrase "good shape" not "great shape". To me, "good shape" is someone who isn't overweight and exercises somewhat. I doubt the doctor looks like a Chad Thundercocck. He's likely not a 6'0"+ guy with large, lean muscles.

Since he would not be the Chad Thundercocck type, he would likely need to use money or status to gain an advantage in the sexual marketplace.

 

[SW15]

My friend John is a a mid 40's doctor. He has plenty of money, good shape, nice place, nice cars, not a push over, been with less than 7 women, mostly long term relationships, so there is a lot he doesn't know.

John has a girlfriend as well as a side chic he had a kid with.

You forgot to state that he doesn't have a full head of hair either.

This does sound like a beta male in general, although a Greater Beta. A notch count of 6 or less in his mid-40s mostly in LTRs is a beta. It doesn't matter where his hairline is.

Having a girlfriend and a side woman right now is impressive. His money and possessions help a lot with that. It is good that he isn't a pushover but not being a pushover doesn't automatically create alpha male status.

 

[parabellum]

Does Bob and the girl have children of their own?