problems with self worth...

[CapedCrusader08]

How do you get a healthy sense of it? I feel as a result of things lacking in my life,important things,I have this constant sense of low self esteem/self confidence. This goes back to when I was younger,to when I saw myself as this complete loser for never having had sex or any kind of gf,and it ate away me for years. I am trying to figure out how to reprogram things to feel happy,rather than always miserable.

 

[theunflushables]

The first thing you need to realize to help find your self worth is: Besides your family and closest friends, no one gives a fvck about you. It's nothing personal, they're just busy watching out for themselves. That being said NO ONE should determine your self worth. A girl rejects you? She is not rejecting you because of who or what you are, she is rejecting you because it's not what SHE is looking for. A guy busts your balls because you're not nailing chicks left and right? Pop him in the jaw!

You are your own man, so live your life the way you want to live and don't let anybody stand in the way of getting what you want. When you grasp this fact, you will see your self worth grow.

 

[penkitten]

it is common to feel this way, but it is also a selfish ride on the "feel sorry for myself" train of thought.
whenever you feel so down, remember that you are the only person that has to look in the mirror. you determine how you feel about yourself, and your self worth.
tell yourself that you are amazing.
tell yourself that you are the best.
then believe it.

 

[parrot84]

How do you get a healthy sense of it? I feel as a result of things lacking in my life,important things,I have this constant sense of low self esteem/self confidence. This goes back to when I was younger,to when I saw myself as this complete loser for never having had sex or any kind of gf,and it ate away me for years. I am trying to figure out how to reprogram things to feel happy,rather than always miserable.

You feel bad because you've let your thoughts controlled by other people in your life!

When people(midgets) around you make you feel weak, worthless, a midget, a wuss, what it actually should mean inside your emotional brain is that the way these people treat you, actually provides you JOY, HAPPINESS, ENERGY, MASCULINITY, because you have the opportunity to prove yourself, by not giving a FYCK, by acting LIKE a REAL MAN,like A REAL KING, that you are indeed a real man, that you are indeed a real king, because that's what real men and kings do: they laugh at midgets and don't give a SHYT about what they have to say! You are, indeed, the king, because you know how to rule yourself! You are, indeed, the man, because you know how to control yourself!

GET THIS THROUGH YOUR FREAKING HEAD WRITE IT ON PAPER 100 times a DAY :
Be a man at all costs. Control yourself, not others, for you cannot transform the others from midgets to kings, but you can always make yourself a king! If you fycking fail THIS then you really are a loser (90% of men out there)!

SO YOU HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL; WHICH WAY IS IT? LIVE AND DIE LIKE A MAN! or LIVE AND DIE LIKE A LOSER!

PS: TESTOSTERON MIGHT BE QUITE HELPFULL IN YOUR TRANSFORMATION so LISTEN TO THIS CAREFULLY:

"" DON'T MASTURBARE MORE THAN ONE TIME IN A WEEK ""
"" DON'T MASTURBARE MORE THAN ONE TIME IN A WEEK ""
"" DON'T MASTURBARE MORE THAN ONE TIME IN A WEEK ""
"" DON'T MASTURBARE MORE THAN ONE TIME IN A WEEK ""
"" DON'T MASTURBARE MORE THAN ONE TIME IN A WEEK ""
"" DON'T MASTURBARE MORE THAN ONE TIME IN A WEEK ""
"" DON'T MASTURBARE MORE THAN ONE TIME IN A WEEK ""

 

[parrot84]

it is common to feel this way, but it is also a selfish ride on the "feel sorry for myself" train of thought.
whenever you feel so down, remember that you are the only person that has to look in the mirror. you determine how you feel about yourself, and your self worth.
tell yourself that you are amazing.
tell yourself that you are the best.
then believe it.

Tell yourself that you are amazing and shyt, but also provide PROOF for that, because without proof your brain won't actually belive a crap! PROOF IS WHAT TRANSFORMS a THOUGHT INTO A BELIEF and that BELIEF BECOMES YOUR SELF FULFILLING PROFECY! And believe me things are gonna' change! Life is gonna' be better!

 

[Metaphysical]

How do you get a healthy sense of it? I feel as a result of things lacking in my life,important things,I have this constant sense of low self esteem/self confidence. This goes back to when I was younger,to when I saw myself as this complete loser for never having had sex or any kind of gf,and it ate away me for years. I am trying to figure out how to reprogram things to feel happy,rather than always miserable.

there's a few ways. there's affirmations, meditations and all that stuff but it hardly works.

the most effective way is to fvck lots of women. it's impossible to be banging a hot girl every night and not to think of yourself as being THE SH1T.

 

[Alle_Gory]

there's a few ways. there's affirmations, meditations and all that stuff but it hardly works.

the most effective way is to fvck lots of women. it's impossible to be banging a hot girl every night and not to think of yourself as being THE SH1T.

Interpretation: Your value as a person is a result of how many women you fvck.


Whatever happened to being a winner? Being good at something.

To the OP: Everything is connected. All parts of your life. Your business affects your love life. Your love life affects your business. Your business affects your appearance. Your appearance affects your business. And so on.

Everything matters.

If you follow Metaphysical's advice, it won't chance anything.

Extreme Example:
Now: Worthless guy.
After: Worthless guy who can, and does bang alot of women.

Any difference? I don't see one. Just a new activity.

The silver bullet is: There is no silver bullet.

No one thing will change you. Everything matters. All parts of yourself, and you life are directly linked to everything else.


Also, penkitten's advice is lacking. Here it is fixed:

tell yourself that you are amazing. and reasons why. make a list of amazing accomplishments.
tell yourself that you are the best. at [insert here]. what made you the best?

Don't lie to yourself. It may make things feel good in the short term, but in the long term it will have major backlash.

 

[Metaphysical]

Interpretation: Your value as a person is a result of how many women you fvck.


Whatever happened to being a winner? Being good at something.

To the OP: Everything is connected. All parts of your life. Your business affects your love life. Your love life affects your business. Your business affects your appearance. Your appearance affects your business. And so on.

Everything matters.

If you follow Metaphysical's advice, it won't chance anything.

Extreme Example:
Now: Worthless guy.
After: Worthless guy who can, and does bang alot of women.​

Any difference? I don't see one. Just a new activity.

The silver bullet is: There is no silver bullet.

No one thing will change you. Everything matters. All parts of yourself, and you life are directly linked to everything else.


Also, penkitten's advice is crap. Here it is fixed:



Don't lie to yourself. It may make things feel good in the short term, but in the long term it will have major backlash.

I like how you put down everybody's posts yet never offer a practical solution. Troll much?

 

[SuavePlaya]

Affirmations it will eventually sink in. People here debate about affirmations working, but after alittle awhile you start to see small changes. Only think about yourself in a positive sense and never compare yourself to anyone. Your self-talk should be 90% you and 10% everything else out there or probably even less. Alle-gory if he continues to think the way he does, how can he accomplish what he wants. If you do not think of yourself as a winner who will? There has to be one person that believes in himself before anyone else does and that person is you.

 

[Alle_Gory]

If you do not think of yourself as a winner who will? There has to be one person that believes in himself before anyone else does and that person is you.

I agree, mostly. Here's an example;

I am a winner because.... I won a medal at a judo match, I also finished top of my psychology class.
Things I have done as a winner.... I never stopped training. I studied hard, often.
I am a winner.


Something like that. I'm saying that the focus should be on what you want. Not repeating a phrase to yourself with hopes that it will come true. Usually it does, but it takes awhile. Its easier focusing on the truth. The good parts.


To the OP:

Something practical:
Make a list of completely separate things you like about yourself.

Make it about 8 things you like about yourself. Qualities, things you are good at.
And 4 things you dislike. Make sure this part is shorter.


Now work on getting those 4 off the list.

 

[Interceptor]

WHY do you feel unworthy?

WHY do you feel low self worth?

WHAT made you believe you are unworthy?

WHAT made you believe you have low self worth?



Also, what do you think if I told you that you ARE worthy, deserving, and of high value? And that is actually your normal, actual, every day state?

Being high value is your natural state.
It IS your "default' state.
No one can 'give' it to you, and no one can take it away from you.
(so who DID 'take' it from you? maybe it was YOU.Or maybe you made a decision somewhere along the way,and convinced yourself you have no value.)

Now, you have to think back and look for WHY suddenly you're NOT high value.
What happened there???

 

[CapedCrusader08]

I don't let other people control my thoughts,I do. It's just they tend to be rather negative.

I am concerned over looking at porn. I mean,I have always looked at it and used it,how much of an affect does that have on me?

I,for the life of me,just cannot,for some reason,find it deep down inside. The whole game/sarging,seeing/having multiple women,or even one,approaching,i realize,it's all about giving off the vibe/how you make people feel. But what about when I already feel miserable on the inside?

As for telling yourself you are amazing/the shyt,I always hated people that do that. Like they come off they think they are better than you. I always hated that.

 

[SuavePlaya]

Caped there goes your problem you hate the person you are trying to be.As for telling yourself you are amazing/the shyt,I always hated people that do that. Like they come off they think they are better than you. I always hated that. In my opinion that's better than sitting feeling sorry for yourself. Do not feel bad for thinking that you are better than others because it's true. Other people think worse of themselves than you do doesn't that already qualify yourself as being better than they are?

 

[CapedCrusader08]

I don't know. I don't know if I like the idea of anyone thinking they are better than everyone. That's just me. This is some deep rooted problem. As I Was gonna say,I think my sense of low self worth,come's from a feeling of a lack of accomplishment in my life for the past few years. Everything from social aspects,to education. Esp dating. I feel rather behind in that department,and worry about,idk,judgement. But I don't know If that's reasonable or not.

I for,life the of me,can't find it in me,to just go out,and start doing it. I can't find that "reset" switch in me. I am by all means,a keyboard jockey,looking for an answer. Perhaps I am looking for a magic bullet as they say. This sense goes back a long time. I see myself as "unworhy" or "low value" due to various things,like not being in a high social position/hiearchy,if that makese sense. I mean,all I want is either a gf,or an f buddy,or just someone to bang,yet I can't get it.

 

[SharinganUser]

CapedCrusader08, I spend a good portion of my day repeating to myself in my head of course
"I can do this."
"I can do this."
"I can do this."
"I can do this."
"I can do this."
"I can do this."
"I can do this."
"I can do this."
"I can do this."

 

[CapedCrusader08]

ok.i will do that. but,i fear this may be something more pyschological. I mean,it comes down to this feeling of inexperience,and being behind etc,and the impact it has on me. Like something off. The whole taking the lead/dominance etc. And how that turns women on,yet,I am a romantic as well,but can't figure what works for me.

 

[JDA70]

I read your posts.
This bit got my attention.

I for,life the of me,can't find it in me,to just go out,and start doing it.

You need to go out.
It builds up your confidence.

Think of it like playing the guitar, you need to practice in order to get good
and then eventually play in a band in front of a crowd.

So just go out and have fun and don't expect anything.
JUst get used to.

If you keep doing what you've been doing you'll keep getting
what you been getting

You simple must change your ways.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

I know. The one time I do feel very confident,no matter what,is at work. People ask questions,9 times out of 10,I have the answer. Even when I don't,I manage to not let it bother me. I approach people all day,asking if they need help,sometimes i get rejected,sometimes I don't. I learn and get better are various things within the store.

So I think you see where I am going with this. It's something I like can't shut off,only do what I can to take my mind off of it.

I can't switch focus/energies.

As for going out,well,I kinda cant as is. Why? cause I got into an oui a few months back,and am dealing with the after affects of that,so bars/clubs are sort of out of the question for me. I know there are other places to go,but usually,those are the only places open late enough.

I often feel,I guess,intimidatd by groups,cause the people are already connected with one another,know one another well etc. And I feel i would have a hard time breaking in I guess. But as they say,it's all about first impressions.

 

[JDA70]

I got into an oui a few months back

Do you mean DUI?

 

[CapedCrusader08]

oui/dui,same thing. I say oui cause that's what i was "officially" Called.

On the other note,I am going to try and think positively.