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problems with self worth...
- Thread starter CapedCrusader08
- Start date
#41
Senior Don Juan
Probably Operating Under the Influence.Alle_Gory said:What does OUI stand for?
A lot of states also use OVI (operating a vehicle while under the influence / intoxicated) as well.
They all mean roughly the same thing. It basically alerts you that you don't have to be driving the vehicle to get busted for a violation (sitting behind the wheel with the keys is usually enough).
Metaphysical said:there's a few ways. there's affirmations, meditations and all that stuff but it hardly works.
the most effective way is to fvck lots of women. it's impossible to be banging a hot girl every night and not to think of yourself as being THE SH1T.
You know better. I know you know better.
bornyesterday
Don Juan
I think I know where you are coming from.
I'm struggling with some of the problems you describe since my adolescence.
Many of the problems with low self-esteem/negative self-image/lack of connection with others in combination with mild depression, stem from a lack of feeling of an identity. Having nothing within yourself to hold on to. Almost always the roots of identityproblems lie in your youth. And thus these issues are rooted deep within your personality.
In my case it's mostly because I was physically and mentally 'abused' by my brother and because of a lack of good parenting. Because I had to struggle so much in my youth I strove to create as much peace in my environment as possible. I had to appease. My own needs and expression were of secondary priority.
From the start I have tried to solve all my problems by myself. Having the feeling of no selfworth you are not able to ask for help or share your burden. But this is exactly what I had to do and what I have done and I found a therapist who understands exactly where I'm coming from. Now your problems may differ from mine or not, but I do understand enough to see you need to start getting some help in real life yourself.
The way I see it is that the difficulty you have with interacting with women is 'just' a symptom of this more fundamental problem that you have. Reading up on some information about this or seeking advise like you do in this forum is good, but it's not enough. 'Trying' (oh the word!) to get better won't get you anywhere except for giving you an excuse to live on with your life like you do now, which in my estimation must be very tough indeed.
Understand and realise you have a problem. And it matters. A lot. To you.
Good luck.
I'm struggling with some of the problems you describe since my adolescence.
Many of the problems with low self-esteem/negative self-image/lack of connection with others in combination with mild depression, stem from a lack of feeling of an identity. Having nothing within yourself to hold on to. Almost always the roots of identityproblems lie in your youth. And thus these issues are rooted deep within your personality.
In my case it's mostly because I was physically and mentally 'abused' by my brother and because of a lack of good parenting. Because I had to struggle so much in my youth I strove to create as much peace in my environment as possible. I had to appease. My own needs and expression were of secondary priority.
From the start I have tried to solve all my problems by myself. Having the feeling of no selfworth you are not able to ask for help or share your burden. But this is exactly what I had to do and what I have done and I found a therapist who understands exactly where I'm coming from. Now your problems may differ from mine or not, but I do understand enough to see you need to start getting some help in real life yourself.
The way I see it is that the difficulty you have with interacting with women is 'just' a symptom of this more fundamental problem that you have. Reading up on some information about this or seeking advise like you do in this forum is good, but it's not enough. 'Trying' (oh the word!) to get better won't get you anywhere except for giving you an excuse to live on with your life like you do now, which in my estimation must be very tough indeed.
Understand and realise you have a problem. And it matters. A lot. To you.
Good luck.
Last edited:
CapedCrusader08
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yeah. bornyesterday,you hit the nail on the head. I see/relate to where you are coming from. Cept for the brother thing,I never had an older brother.
bornyesterday
Don Juan
That's ok, I didn't expect you could relate to the brother thing. It is part of my life-story. I used it as an example that we all have a story that has made us the way we are. I wasn't born as this self-hating person. You yourself must have had some very painful things happen in your own life that are highly personal and that made you the way you are. And you need to get in terms with those.
It won't be a picknick but it's the best thing you can do.
It won't be a picknick but it's the best thing you can do.
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
Yea like everyone else said, you really need to change your mindset, which really is not easy. What you need to do is really stop and think about why you feel like you do. I mean really stop thinking about what a loser you are and just think about why you think you are one.. Blah I know this is confusing but bare with me.
Now analyze them reasons you thought of and really think about if they are legitimate reasons to believe you are a loser. Ahem, there are no good reasons to think of yourself as a loser. Now take them reasons and tell them to go **** themselves, you are the man! Seriously, life is short man, just be happy with who you are, stop caring about everyone else unless they care about you. Go look in the mirror and say "I'm a great guy!"
Then proceed to walk around and socialize like the great guy that you are.
Now analyze them reasons you thought of and really think about if they are legitimate reasons to believe you are a loser. Ahem, there are no good reasons to think of yourself as a loser. Now take them reasons and tell them to go **** themselves, you are the man! Seriously, life is short man, just be happy with who you are, stop caring about everyone else unless they care about you. Go look in the mirror and say "I'm a great guy!"
Then proceed to walk around and socialize like the great guy that you are.
S
STONECOLDSTEVEAUSTIN
Guest
You wake up and feel like the man, god damn it! You let the world know youll kick some ass and you aint gonna take no ****, and thats the bottom line!
CapedCrusader08
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That's it though. I am not self hating, just severely unhappy with myself. Like I could be this whole different person had I changed my attitude/mindset a long time ago. Plus, this feeling of inexperience and lost time. I also feel that some of my own personal values clash with the atmosphere of today. In that I want a genuine connection with someone. Not one hookup after another. And I don't know who I blame more for that.
Are the things that happened to me highly personal? I guess so.
I have had a hard time changing my mindset. I don't feel like I am this great guy. What makes someone that? I mean, I can see myself as it,but can't find the action. Maybe cause it feels like everything is stacked against me.
Are the things that happened to me highly personal? I guess so.
I have had a hard time changing my mindset. I don't feel like I am this great guy. What makes someone that? I mean, I can see myself as it,but can't find the action. Maybe cause it feels like everything is stacked against me.
Forty0ztoFreedom
Senior Don Juan
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Are you hiding anything from yourself? Something you're ashamed of?
CapedCrusader08
Banned
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No. Do I have things I am not proud of? Oh yeah. Esp an incident that happened to me last year. I don't know if I still fully over it, or the effects are rather long lasting. After it happened, I thought I felt miserable before, I went into all out miserable s.o.b mode for a long time. Drinking alot,getting angry, at myself,the world. Violent thoughts. A hatred for everything. Often times,those have been intensified. Plus,this feeling of embarassment due to what I see as significant inexperience with women. Which may or may not go back to youth/childhood.
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
Ok you're way too focused on the negative things about your life. Start thinking about positive things about yourself. Don't tell me there aren't any. You HAVE to have positive things in your life.
Carrying yourself as a great guy can be achieved by forgetting these negative stories you keep thinking of. If you can't think of any positives, which you should, then you need to forget these negatives. Wake up the next morning with a clean slate, whenever your mind wants to go and think up shlt that makes you depressed, STOP. Actually stop yourself from thinking that way. At first, this takes effort on your part, but before you know it, you'll naturally walk around with the great guy attitude.
Carrying yourself as a great guy can be achieved by forgetting these negative stories you keep thinking of. If you can't think of any positives, which you should, then you need to forget these negatives. Wake up the next morning with a clean slate, whenever your mind wants to go and think up shlt that makes you depressed, STOP. Actually stop yourself from thinking that way. At first, this takes effort on your part, but before you know it, you'll naturally walk around with the great guy attitude.
bornyesterday
Don Juan
You say you are unhappy about who you are, but do you like yourself? Even if it is a little. Do you know who you are and what you are doing?
Are there any things in your life that are going well? Do you have people in your life?
And how old are you btw? You talk as if you feel you have many wasted years of your life behind you but I'll bet you're much younger then me.
Are there any things in your life that are going well? Do you have people in your life?
And how old are you btw? You talk as if you feel you have many wasted years of your life behind you but I'll bet you're much younger then me.