predict if she flakes

[blueline]

this is a girl from my social circle that hit on me so hard when i had a girlfriend that was hotter than the rest of the girls at the party including her. i got her number last saturday at a party after smoking a few cigarettes with her. she never reengaged me at the party after i left the conversations. i didn't get any of that hovering behavior interested girls will give you sometimes.

me: hola [name] =). so when are we gonna grab coffee this week? -blueline
her: hello! i'm insanely busy with student teaching. Maybe some night later this week?
me: Okay. How bout thursday around 8 at starbucks?
her: Can it be 7? And can you remind me when it's closer? I'm ridiculously forgetful.
me: Sure, 7 works for me.
her: Great. Hasta luego!

 

[supersperms]

based on my calculations - 32.654333995% chance of flaking, but it depends what star sign you were born under... i am just being a ****.

i think her replies do sound ominous. Do women really get some many god damn invitations that they cannot remember what plans they make?

 

[blueline]

based on my calculations - 32.654333995% chance of flaking, but it depends what star sign you were born under... i am just being a ****.

i think her replies do sound ominous. Do women really get some many god damn invitations that they cannot remember what plans they make?

nope. when they want me, they make concrete plans and are super flirty.

i wish she just had courage to say "Hello! I'm insanely busy with student teaching right now" and left it at that. that's happened before with me and i respect that so much more than this weak behavior.

 

[supersperms]

agreed. but how to solve your problem?

perhaps, don't remind her, and see if she contacts you? or give it a couple weeks and hit her up again - but this time to hang out that day? either way, the cliched response of checking out other women wouldn't go astray...

 

[blueline]

agreed. but how to solve your problem?

perhaps, don't remind her, and see if she contacts you? or give it a couple weeks and hit her up again - but this time to hang out that day? either way, the cliched response of checking out other women wouldn't go astray...

nah, I'm going to ask her how her Tuesday is going today and say something funny, and that will serve as my reminder for her.

in other news i asked a girl out by posting on her facebook wall tonight. i like this ballsy reckless abandon kind of confidence, it works sometimes.

 

[Blackmm]

If she isn't coming up with a counter offer, then its a 100% flake. You shouldn't be the one trying to fit yourself into her schedule. You are supposed to be the prise and she needs to be trying to get into yours.

Your response to her "busyness" should have been "OK, well, when your schedule loosens up, holla" and move on to the other females you have to chose from. When you become not so available to her again, I guarantee her interest level will rise again.

 

[scorpio1138]

Your response to her "busyness" should have been "OK, well, when your schedule loosens up, holla" and move on to the other females you have to chose from. When you become not so available to her again, I guarantee her interest level will rise again.

This is the correct procedure.

 

[blueline]

That's just manipulation of her ego. Ideally, you want her to show up because she wants to fuck your brains out and that's it. I bet it works with a girl that is sexually attracted to you, though.

Anyways, I just sent this chick an SMS saying what's up. If I don't get a response, whatever.

So here's what's going on now:

Me: Ay! How's your Tuesday going, dude? I bet mine beats yours "
Her: Beats mine in what context?
Me: Awesomeness, duh.
Her: I don't know about that, mine was pretty awesome.

 

[blueline]

Basically, more or less, now I've entered into a pissing contest by sending a gamey text. If I didn't use "I bet mine beats yours" text, it wouldn't affect the outcome at all, but now I just added another factor of winning this pissing contest. This is why using gamey lines is retarded.

So, I've now added this stupid as fuck social element to getting this girl to come out.

 

[PapiChulo]

asking you to remind her is a tell-tail sign of some bullsh!t excuse to flake on you when the time comes. She is sitting on a fence at this point, or there is some other guy....

 

[Jariel]

asking you to remind her is a tell-tail sign of some bullsh!t excuse to flake on you when the time comes. She is sitting on a fence at this point, or there is some other guy....

I agree completely. Unless you've built up some deep rapport with this girl, you're probably just another prospect/plate to her. Don't take offence if she flakes. It probably means there is another guy who has taken more time with her, built more of a connection, maybe even an ex.

Sometimes it's just bad timing. She clearly likes something about you if she's given you her number, chats to you and has agreed to go out with you, but her mind is probably elsewhere. If she flakes, just be cool about it and leave her. She might come back when she's more emotionally available.

Alternatively, you can just not remind her and give this date a miss. It will get her thinking about you more, why you didn't remind her, whether you lost interest etc. It takes some of the power away from her and shows you're not the kind of guy who will chase after her. That will go in your favour.

 

[IamJosan]

I hate the whole 'remind me thing'. I was supposed to go out with this girl once, and nothing ever happened. So I called her the next day, told her she was supposed to go out with me, her response was "you were suppposed to call me".

-________-

 

[Chickfight]

Alternatively, you can just not remind her and give this date a miss. It will get her thinking about you more, why you didn't remind her, whether you lost interest etc. It takes some of the power away from her and shows you're not the kind of guy who will chase after her. That will go in your favour.

Totally with this. Situations such as yours where her interest level can go either way really are make or break moments.
Doing something like this may seem risky, but is in fact is the most likely to work.

 

[blueline]

Yupp, she SMS'd me today saying she forgot she has yoga on Thursday nights. This is the last time I take a girl's number when she's giving me poor non-verbals and not hovering. I mean, unless it's a last minute flyby, forget numbers without a make-out or some heavy eye contact preceding them.

I deleted her number. I'll probably bump into her again since she's in my social circle. There's a great possibility she wasn't sexually interested in me, she just didn't want to seem like a bitch by turning down a number from some guy in her circle.

 

[Jariel]

Sorry to hear that bro. I think a lot of the time low interest is just something you can sense.

You did the right thing deleting her number and not wasting any more time with her.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

No doubt this was low interest and I went straight to the bottom and initially posted 99% chance of her flaking based on the initial conversation.

While you can't change things now, one tip for developing better habits is not to ask a girl when she's "free." Instead call her up, shoot the breeze and then TELL HER what days you are free and ask her out.

Give her a couple options and if she doesn't accept or counter you know the rest.




PIMP

 

[blueline]

lol, it's so funny how you meet a new woman that's hotter than the ones you've worked for a while right after this kind of shenanigans. especially, when she's super into you. ahahahaha

 

[PapiChulo]

What a bullsh!t excuse too. You can usual spot these red flags right away. I think she gets asked out a lot and is already an expert on how to blow people off. Typical.

 

[blueline]

What a bullsh!t excuse too. You can usual spot these red flags right away. I think she gets asked out a lot and is already an expert on how to blow people off. Typical.

Actually, this is a novice maneuver. A girl that gets asked out a lot would blow you off first instance by saying "Sorry, my schedule is too full this semester" after the first message I sent. This is so not an expert.

 

[Die Hard]

Just a sidenote on the "remind me" thing.

This sh!t is totally unacceptable and it shows weakness if you agree with it. WTF?! When you have a date with someone, you're supposed to look forward to it and you certainly won't need anyone to remind you of it. Did you ever need someone to remind you of a date?!?!?!?!

The game starts the moment of the first conversation between you and a girl. This request of hers was a test and you failed it. You showed her that you like her so much that you're willing to remind her of the date and neglect the disrespect she showed you by making that request.

If you had stood her up on this request, it would've shown that you're high level. And in doing so, her interest level would probably have risen. Who knows, she would've been very interested to meet up with you because of it and wouldn't have come up with the yoga excuse at all... Remember Pook: RESPECT IS ALL.

This is the last time I take a girl's number when she's giving me poor non-verbals and not hovering. I mean, unless it's a last minute flyby, forget numbers without a make-out or some heavy eye contact preceding them.

Don't focus too much on her initial interest level at the party, it's not like everything is decided there and then and the whole envelopment of your future relationship with her has been set from that moment... There's an ongoing process throughout all your interactions with a girl. Of course, a certain initial interest level is required to accomplish anything, but after that, you can build the initial spark up to a flame or you can let the spark fade away.

It's not like: "She likes me or she likes me not, her IL is high enough or it isn't. It has already been decided, now I just need to find out by asking her out". No.....the very way you carry yourself WHILE you ask her out, is gonna influence her interest level. Perhaps her IL was low at the party, but it wasn't absent, right? She was hitting on you, you said... Well, your behavior throughout the texting (with the action of not accepting that disrespectful request being key) could've made it rise high enough for her to decide and go out with you. Then, if you had acted like a total alpha during the date, it might've risen to great hights and she'd be totally into you...